Donald Trump’s bigly trip the United Kingdom starts on June 3rd. How awful for all of our friends in the UK – I’m truly sorry, and please prepare yourselves. Donald Trump is a hideous, nasty ass wart when he’s stateside, but if anything, he’s so much worse when he’s abroad. I’m saying that he’s probably going to sexually assault a corgi. I’m sorry on behalf of all Americans. Not only is Trump going, he’s bringing all of his large adult children – Don Jr, Ivanka and Eric and Poor Tiffany. Prepare yourselves for Don Jr too, and Precious Ivanka’s fascistic baby-whispers of doom. Anyway, now that the state visit is really happening, plans are being solidified and announced. Unsurprisingly, Trump is getting face-time with all of the major royals, including Prince Harry:
Britain’s Prince Harry will join Queen Elizabeth II at a private lunch with Donald Trump and his wife Melania next month, CNN has learned.
The lunch takes place on the first day of the US President’s state visit to the UK. Prince Harry’s wife, Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, is not expected to attend. She has not resumed public engagements since the birth of their son Archie Harrison.
Historically, Harry has only participated in the state visit by Spain’s monarch, where he accompanied the Spanish delegation to Westminster Abbey. CNN’s royal source says that going forward, they hope to see the Sussexes participate in more state events.
While Melania is useless and lazy, I’m glad she’ll be there as some kind of lazy, useless buffer. Harry’s met Melania before, and I would guess that they can make small talk about the weather in between Trump’s rants about the Wall and immigrants. And of course Meghan will still be on maternity leave! Bless her, she will be happy to avoid this one. I bet if Kate could claim she was still on maternity leave, she would do the same. Instead, Kate gets to be bribed with a borrowed tiara and probably a diamond necklace too, because Kate is scheduled to attend the state dinner for Trump:
Time to dust off the royal tiaras! Kate Middleton has only been seen in a tiara a handful of times, and on June 3, she’ll wear a sparkly topper once again for a State Banquet at Buckingham Palace for Donald Trump’s official State Visit to the U.K. The Queen will host a private lunch earlier in the day for the President and First Lady. Afterwards, Trump and his wife Melania will join Prince Charles and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall for tea at their nearby residence, Clarence House.
Prince Harry is said to be joining the royals for the private lunch without wife Meghan Markle, who is currently on maternity leave after giving birth to their son Archie on May 6. Neither the Duke or Duchess of Sussex will be at the State Banquet later that evening. However, both Kate and Prince William will be in attendance.
I joked on Twitter about how what the British tabloids’ headlines will be for the younger royals’ meetings with Trump. I imagine the headline for Harry will be: “Prince Harry SHOCK: Meets with White Supremacist Leader Behind MEGHAN’S BACK.” Meanwhile, the headline for Kate will be: “Future Queen Kate puts on a brave face whilst wearing glorious tiara and meeting self-confessed sexual assailant.”
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, WENN, Backgrid.