Rob Lowe sleeps better when his wife isn’t there, she wakes him up

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If there’s any actor in Hollywood who I’m pretty sure has a painting of himself again in an attic somewhere, it’s Rob Lowe. The 54-year-old actor, whose face could be found on posters on a lot of teenagers’ bedroom walls in the 1980s (guilty), stopped by The Ellen DeGeneres Show to talk about his one man show and boast about his amazing family.

Rob, currently appearing on the CBS drama Code Black, told Ellen he got the bug to go out on the road from his Parks and Recreation co-star, Aziz Ansari. He describes the show, where he tells stories from his 2011 memoir Stories I Only Tell My Friends and the 2014 follow-up Love Life as “like a TED talk, but a little less pretentious…and a lot less smart.” He says he’s doing the show “in lieu a third book,” sharing behind the scenes “war stories” from his long career and tales of raising his two sons.

He was just in Atlanta and I could kick myself for missing this show, as it sounds awesome. In a press release promoting his show, Rob said:

“This isn’t a regurgitation of the books, because that wouldn’t be very much fun. This is very much its own beast, but it does have some of the same feel of the books.”

“I decided to put what would be the third book into a show where I could go out directly to an audience and share and have an exchange with them directly,” he says. “Frankly, I love meeting people, being out in front of them, hearing their comments. It’s really fun.”

One aspect of being on the road that Rob admits is a positive is his ability to get a good night’s sleep without the interruption of his wife, Sheryl Berkoff. Rob revealed on Ellen that “I sleep better on the road because I’m not with my wife.” The crowd groaned, which prompted him to add, “People, it’s the truth. I love her enough to speak the truth.” He went on to clarify that his wife often stays up until “5 or 6 in the morning” playing Family Feud on her iPad, and when she’s at a loss for an answer, “[She] wakes me up like, ‘Honey, honey! Quick, name five foods that are gross.’ I’m like, I just want to go to bed.”

Weird late night gaming addiction aside, Sheryl is a great parent, as is Rob. Their sons, 23-year-old John Owen and 25-year-old Matthew are smart and accomplished, and have the brightest of futures ahead. John is graduating from Stanford University in June and Matthew is taking his law school finals. Rob told Ellen, “So Matthew’s the lawyer in the family. I figured I can get someone cheap to do my legal work.”

When it comes to John, who Rob pointed out was “the youngest published author in stem cell research when he was an assistant at the Eli Broad stem cell lab” and is “graduating with straight A’s,” he is talking about joining the family business and pursuing an acting carer. Rob sarcastically joked, “Look, let’s face it: that’s great because I think we can all agree that what society needs is one less that’s going to cure cancer and one more actor.”

Ellen popped up a photo of Rob and the cast of The Outsiders and noted that it’s been 35 years since that film’s release. Ouch. Of his fellow cast members in that classic movie, Rob said, “Those are my frat brothers. I didn’t go to college basically, so that’s my fraternity, those are my first roommates.” And now I feel old – but my crush on Rob lives on.

On the episode, Rob also played “Mystery Word” with Ellen. Does he say “Swiss cheese” and win the audience members a special prize? Watch the clip to find out.

To the best woman I know. Happy #internationalwomensday

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61 Responses to “Rob Lowe sleeps better when his wife isn’t there, she wakes him up”

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  1. Millennial says:

    I never thought I’d be in a marriage where I slept separately from my husband, but then I married someone who snores quite loudly. I always had to fall asleep first, and even if I did I realized I was waking up through the night due to the snoring. I was exhausted. Sleeping separately makes everyone happier.

    Hubs is getting allergy shots, which we are hoping helps. If not, I’m not sure what we will try next.

    • RBC says:

      Could your husband have sleep apnea ? Consider having him go for a sleep study. His doctor could advise him where he would need to go

      • Millenial says:

        We’ve considered it, but don’t think so. It really started in earnest when we moved to our new house, so I think it has something to do with the environment.

    • Snazzy says:

      We do the same thing, except that i’m the monster snorer in our couple. While looking for a solution honestly everyone is happier. 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • LT says:

      Does he have sleep apnea? Snoring can be the sign on really serious health issues. My ex got a CPAP machine and it changed his life.

    • Honest B says:

      My parents sleep separately due to my Dads snoring. They seem much happier now they’re getting a full nights sleep.

      • equalitygadfly says:

        We have separate bedrooms. Best. Decision. Ever! The hubs and I are huge advocates for rooms of ones own. Not only because our sleep is much better, but it is lovely to have your own space to retreat.

    • Swack says:

      I hear you. My ex was a horrible snorer also and if I didn’t fall asleep first, I didn’t sleep!

    • Esmom says:

      Same. My husband twitches in his sleep and if it happens to wake me up, I can’t fall back asleep. So I’d say about half the week one of us goes to another room for the rest of the night. Sometimes he even goes directly to another bed because he cal tell he’s going to be twitchy. So I kinda love it when he’s traveling and I can sleep without that disruption or worry about possible disruption.

    • I’m With The Band says:

      My hubby (he’s 45) has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea his doctor has ever seen. His snoring and thrashing are so bad that we haven’t slept in the same bed on a regular basis for a couple of years now. If we have friends visiting and we have to share a bed, I usually end up on the lounge at some point just to get some sleep. It’s brutal on his health and on me as his partner. He needs his tonsils removed and has a CPAP machine but only uses it intermittently. Sigh.

      • Lacia Can says:

        Sorry to hear that he won’t use it regularly. My husband resisted for years before finally going to a sleep clinic. Our older daughter has a thing about sounds and his snoring sets her off, which is finally what prompted him to go. Then he got the CPAP machine but wouldn’t use it – sat for a month before I finally said, “Use it for two weeks straight and see how you feel.” Well I guess he felt better because he now uses it every night! But it was *years* of denial before he finally gave in. It’s frustrating when someone you love won’t look after themselves, so I get how you feel. ☹️

    • Anastasia says:

      I never thought so, either. He now has the guest bedroom. Some nights, he’ll start off in our room, then when he gets sleepy, he’ll move to the guest bedroom.

      But his snoring! It’s like Darth Vader having an asthma attack. And he’s had sleep studies. And he’s had his deviated septum surgically fixed. He just needs to lose a bit of weight. But oh, it’s bad. I can nearly hear it from down the hall and his door is shut, as well as mine.

      I feel you.

    • Wren says:

      Don’t feel bad. After decades of marriage and my mom suffering through my dad’s horrendous snoring, she decided to have her own room. She LOVES it and when they have to share when they travel, she’s sad. It’s nothing to be ashamed about. Sleep is important!

    • Alisha says:

      Sleep apnea is the worst, my husband suffers from it too.

      Although in Rob’s case this issue seems entirely preventable. I think I would be very mad if my spouse kept me up all night gaming and woke me up to help them with it. I wonder why she just doesn’t go into a separate room to do that? Or him if it bothers him so much. Nights when I can not sleep and just want to read, I head to the couch.

    • NotTodaySatan says:

      I’m the one with sleep apnea and every few nights the hubster sleeps in another room. CPAP machines are just awful. I can’t wear one unless I take a sleeping pill which isn’t good.

      Also hubby has very early COPD and can cough a bit. So our sleep issues go both ways.

      Sleeping separately isn’t great for a marraige unless it saves it.

  2. Betsy says:

    Yikes. His fillers are a little Tom Cruise/chipmunky in that top photo!

    Speaking of Tom Cruise – I love that the Outsiders happened before he fixed anything about his appearance.

    • Mama says:

      I just watched The Outsiders yesterday. I happened to catch Rob on Ellen and it reminded me that I had recorded it. It was a fun watch (has any movie launched so many careers?) and Tom definitely looked different.

  3. Clare says:

    This is the truuuuuuuth. I sleep better when my husband isn’t there. He is like a moving radiator in the night. I love him enough to put up with it, but oh boyyy when he is away and I can starfish the bed….

    • Tiny Martian says:

      Lol, I can relate, Clare. Starfishing the bed is an extremely underrated luxury!

    • Sherry says:

      Word! When my husband has to go out of town for a few days on business, I’m like, “Yes! The entire bed is mine!”

    • JP says:

      I’ve only been married 7 years and we sleep together still but my aunt and uncle have been married 47 years and they sleep apart bc of his snoring and they are happy healthy good spirited couldn’t love each other more people.

  4. Erinn says:

    My husband and I gave blood for the first time last night. I slept like absolute garbage. The cat usually has him up early in the morning so I get my best sleep from 4am until 630am. He tends to go to the couch if he can’t sleep and watch a movie until he drifts back off. He’s someone who can sleep annnyywherreee. He’s also a bit of a kicker and he runs really warm. So I get it. I 100% sleep better when he’s not there. But I sleep best if he’s there for bedtime and sneakily moves to the couch when I don’t know any better. This has also been confirmed by my sleep tracker ahaha.

    There’s an episode of season 1 of Life in Pieces. Greg and Jen are having issues because he keeps sneaking off to the couch to sleep better. Their story in that episode is 100% a description of my marriage. We were laughing so hard because even his new found biking obsession is my husband to a t.

    • Liberty says:

      ha Erinn,, are you me? 😀 almost identical here. Down to the cats.

      Generally we are great sleepers together, unless we are working late or mentally hashing projects or cases…then we try to give space or just know we will both be sleepy in the morning.I will add that if jet lag messes with our sleep patterns, we may accommodate by letting the jetlagged person try to fall asleep for awhile by going to a guest room. But if one of us is out of town, the remaining one at home has trouble falling or staying asleep.

      • Erinn says:

        Cat life 4evah ;)

        It’s a struggle having sleep like ours, I swear. It’s a delicate balance haha.

    • Kitten says:

      Yeah my BF is moving in with me in a couple months and I’m so nervous about the sleeping situation that I’m actually planning on getting a king sized bed.

      I’m a TERRIBLE sleeper–always too hot and I have to move around a lot when I sleep. I feel so bad for my BF sleeping next to me–must suck for him but he never complains. Anyway, I sleep 75% better when I sleep by myself because my boy cat always sleeps in bed with me too and he’s a BIG dude (so is my BF) so between the two of them I’m often wedged in and can’t move plus there’s so much heat coming off of both of them..ugh! I love waking up next to him or looking over and seeing him after I had a bad dream but I really do worry about never getting a good night’s sleep again after he moves in. Again, not his fault, just the way that I sleep plus the fact that my big cat is dead weight that tends to lump between my feet or on my legs.

      Any advice from people who are experiencing something similar or just general advice about sleeping next to someone every night is appreciated. This is my first time living with a guy and I’m almost 40 LOL…yes, I’m a loser but this sh*t is scary!

      • Wren says:

        Separate comforters all the way. Scandinavian style. It’s the only way to share a bed and hope for decent sleep, I’ve found. I even slept okay at my in-laws on an air mattress with my husband because I insisted on separate blankets. Not great, just okay, but I’ll take that over no sleep at all.

      • Christin says:

        I was in my 30s when crossing this bridge. It was an adjustment after many years of solo sleep. We have slightly different schedules, so we chose separate sleep space after the first couple of years. Made us feel less guilty about having to get up frequently, at different times, etc.

        I do have a cat sharing my space most nights, though. He does not have the same concerns about occasionally interrupting my sleep.

        Recently some co-workers were discussing sleep and their expensive beds with dual sections, etc. Bottom line, it seemed like larger/fancier beds didn’t truly help when having a noisy or tossing/turning partner.

      • Esmom says:

        Hi Kitten, Congrats on taking such a big step! I’m sure you won’t find this very helpful but I think you have to just jump in and if you start to lose too much sleep then you might consider separate sleeping spaces, either part time or full time.

        I feel like so many people force themselves to share a bed with their partner because not doing so would be considered a failure of some sort. Why endure a miserable sleep situation just to keep up appearances? Enjoy this exciting time together. :)

      • Erinn says:

        If you can do it, get the King sized. Whenever we go to a hotel we try to get a King and just both sleep so dead. We have a queen. And our younger cat likes to sleep UNDERNEATH all the blankets and between us generally. I’ve gotten into turf battles with her for REAL. Or she’ll attempt to sleep on my chest, and I wake up thinking I’m dying. So under the bedding is happiest for everyone haha. Old cat will plug my husbands nose after prancing across him back and forth for food/attention (she’s a tiiiiny girl, only 5.5-6lbs). Just legit take her paw and press it against one side of his nose. I’m convinced she would kill us both if she could use a can opener.

        Separate blankets is not a bad idea, honestly. I just ordered a king duvet for our bed, hoping that will help a bit too. I’m a bit fussy about my bedding because of the allodynia and chronic pain. If the sheets and stuff get bunched weird I get super uncomfortable. I’ll make the bed super smoothly and be satisfied, and Mr. Sassypants will immediately untuck his side as soon as he gets a chance. Plus it allows him to keep one leg out from the covers easier, so I get it. And he’s nice enough to not let me see him doing it haha.

      • Kitten says:

        @ Wren-YES that is really good advice to have separate blankets. For some reason I’ve never thought about that. But he always blames me for hogging the blanket and I blame him lol. This is a good solution. I’ll try it out!

        @Christin- “Bottom line, it seemed like larger/fancier beds didn’t truly help when having a noisy or tossing/turning partner.” NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! lmao. Dream-crusher :(

        @Esmom-Thanks! :D I’m really excited but so nervous too. I’ve been living alone for so long that I’ve accrued a lot of odd habits like eating in the bed, putting on face masks while I dance to hip hop and other embarrassing things that I won’t admit to here. I’m prepared to give up eating in bed but my face masks will be buried with me when I die. Non-negotiable.

        @ Erinn-LOL I can so relate to your #catprobs. My girl cat only sleeps in bed when it’s just me and when she does, she sleeps on the pillow next to my head which is so ideal. Boy cat likes to be in the worst imaginable spots and if you move him he throws a fit.
        I definitely want to at least *try* the king-sized bed. It’s funny you mentioned hotels because that’s where we got the idea. We always sleep soooo much better on a king when we travel. Plus more room for the cats. I do worry about how the heck we will get a king into my apt. I live in a really old house in the oldest part of Boston so it’s relatively narrow staircases, etc. Someone told me that they make king-sized beds in two pieces so I might have to try that…

        Thanks for all the advice guys! :)

    • Wren says:

      I am a big fan of separate blankets. Each person gets their own comforter to burrito in or throw off, or whatever. It’s made sleeping in the same bed as my husband tolerable. He moves around SO MUCH in the night and every time the covers would move, it would wake me up. I start cold and need all the covers, then I get hot and need them off me. Sharing covers just wasn’t making anyone happy. Now we each can do what we like and I sleep soooooo much better.

  5. slowsnow says:

    Why do we keep talking about Rob Lowe as if he did not look his age? He is the only man who gets the typical female accolade of “looking so good for his age”.
    To me he looks like a handsome 54 year old. I’d even venture to say that if someone told me he was 58, I’d believe it. Which doesn’t detract from his handsomeness.

  6. LT says:

    Rob’s essay on taking his son to college makes me cry every time I read it. I thought he was just a pretty boy until I realized he could write and now I’m a big fan.

    My friends and I were wondering what it’s like growing up with a hot dad like Rob Lowe. Did they worry if the girls were into them or just wanting a glimpse of their father?

    • Esmom says:

      I read his first book (hiding the cover whenever I was out in public, lol) and loved it. He has an engaging style.

      As for him being a “hot dad,” while he’s extremely good looking he also seems really nerdy so I’m not sure how attractive one of his kids’ girlfriends would find him. But who knows, lol.

      • VirgiliaCoriolanus says:

        IMO when he was younger, he was really pretty……but now, to me he looks very “worked” on, even if he hasn’t had anything done. So unless he looks more natural/better IRL, IDK how teenage girls think he’s a hottie.

      • Christin says:

        There was a guy I knew who truly resembled Rob in the mid-80s. Same age, similar features and coloring, just taller.

        Fast forward to now. I’ve seen pretty boy a few times in recent years, and he looks different (he’s now stout instead of slim and his face filled out a lot). Since they are the same age and once looked similar, I compare him to Rob’s current looks. Rob is still recognizable, but sometimes he does have a fuller, “worked on” appearance, though he’s stayed slim. Maybe he partakes of fillers from time to time?

  7. Beth says:

    I love my bf dearly, but it’s tough to get much sleep with him twisting and turning while he tries for hours to get comfortable. After hours of keeping me awake and exhausted, he ends up in the same spoon position he was in when we first got into bed hours before, and finally falls asleep

  8. Elisa says:

    Same. I’m such a light sleeper so almost every time my partner moves I wake up. Snoring is the worst, though. O_o

  9. Snazzy says:

    Seeing that pic makes me miss Emilio Estevez. What ever happened to him?

  10. Mel says:

    yeah…I haven’t forgotten his tweets post Bataclan attacks…
    That made him ugly to me forever.
    But I’m French so he’s never been a huge deal here so…

    • Auntie Git says:

      What posts? Didn’t hear about them. Rob Lowe or Emilio Estevez?

      • Mel says:

        Rob Lowe.
        He tweeted “NOW France decides to close its borders” after a speech by François Hollande declaring the state of emergency.
        In a “guess who wrote it?” game, it could have belonged to Marine Le Pen and her far right friends.

  11. ChrissyMS says:

    My husband is a crazy loud snorer….some nights I retreat to the couch , some nights i don’t. I like going to bed with him at bedtime and seeing where the night takes me lol. Devices and phones IMO do not belong in the bedroom at night unless needed for work.

  12. Christin says:

    The caption “seems like yesterday and a million years ago” certainly captures the perception of time as life moves along.

    His live audience tour reminds me of the shows Cary Grant did at the end of his life. Basically a small audience, a stool and talking about his experiences.

  13. Amelie says:

    My parents are the same way. They are apart four nights a week because my mom works in Boston. Both of them snore (though my dad snores more loudly) and my mom tends to move a lot in her sleep (as I’ve shared a bed with her before). I’m pretty sure they both prefer being alone at night but they don’t sleep in separate bedrooms, they kind of put up with it. Sharing a hotel room with them when my sister and I were kids was torture because my dad’s snoring would wake me up all night.

    My grandparents don’t sleep together either, haven’t for years. My grandmother goes to bed later than my grandfather and he has some kind of machine he’s hooked up to now (I’m assuming for sleep apnea). They both snored and kept each other awake. However they started doing this even before their various health problems… it’s not abnormal. A LOT of couples sleep apart.

  14. Lila says:

    My husband and I sleep about half the week in separate bedrooms. Sometimes one of us wants to stay up and read or one of us is snoring or one of us sick or one has been waking up in the middle of the night. A friend of mine is an architect and she says many couples when she is renovating or designing a new home request a second small bedroom off the master bedroom. She calls them the snoring room.

  15. Laura says:

    My ex-husband was always massively overweight when we were together which made his snoring really loud and unbearable to sleep through. We had separate rooms for the majority of our marriage and now that we are divorced, its one of the things about him that I am so glad I never have to deal with again 😊

  16. Tiffany says:

    Stories I Only Tell My Friends was a damn good book and I was shocked at how much I enjoyed reading it. It showed that Lowe really has some self awareness about himself and that, again, surprised me. I did not know he did a second one. I will have to check it out.

  17. Mee says:

    Glad to hear his kids are very educated and not some Beckham un-trained for anything morons.

  18. emma peel says:

    Rob and Matt Dillon have aged incredibly well.

  19. Jaded says:

    We have twin beds pushed together, that way if one is jiggling around it’s barely noticeable. I tend to be hot flashy at night so Mr. Jaded has a separate blanket because he loves to burrito.

  20. Sabina82 says:

    Longtime lurker, first time poster.

    This topic hits close to home. My parents have slept separately for probably 2 decades. My dad’s snoring was so atrocious, it was impossible for my mom to sleep. Once they started sleeping separately, their health and the health of their relationship improved. Sleep is not the same thing as intimacy or sex. If you need to sleep apart, sleep apart! My dad then got diagnosed with pretty severe sleep apnea about 17 years ago and once he got his CPAP he never looked back – it completely changed his life. They still sleep apart some nights because his machine is sometimes loud, but their relationship has never been better.

    As for me – I am a light sleeper. My husband snores loudly and I cannot sleep if I hear it. Luckily for us, he works nights and I work days, so we are only sleeping at the same time usually for about an hour in the morning. I also invested in some custom ear plugs. Now I do not wake up when he comes home from work and showers either. He also got tested for sleep apnea and it came back positive. He is a candidate for a CPAP and a mouth guard. He is going tomorrow for his follow up appointment and I really hope he is able to get the CPAP at the appointment. It will change his (and consequently my) life. He is only 38 – getting his sleep sorted out now is such a bonus. He is always tired – he put it down to working nights but he can sleep for 8 or 9 hours and still be exhausted. He never gets restful sleep. Plus we leave in 2 weeks for our honeymoon – where we will both be on a daytime schedule. Hopefully we both sleep!!

  21. hogtowngooner says:

    I get it. If my spouse roused me awake for an iPad game I’d be annoyed. That’s inconsiderate.

  22. holly hobby says:

    Wow his kids are bright. Good for him and his wife for encouraging the kids to finish school! Yeah I remember Rob when I was a teenager. That man did not age much.

  23. tearose11 says:

    We sleep apart, have been for years. Sleep is important, man. I snore, as does hubby, but he’s lowder. And now that I’m older, I get extremely hot at at night, need the fan on which he doesn’t like so it’s great that we sleep apart. Plus he gets up much earlier, and I’m a grumpass with out sleep.
    Also Rob Lowe is a vampire, like Paul Rudd. (I’m pretty sure they both have work done, it’s Hollywood after all, but they have had very good work done where it doesn’t look weird, kwim?)