Lady Doritos are coming to town, because OG Doritos are too ‘loud’ for delicate ladies

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I don’t understand so much of what happens in the corporate world. I’ve been thinking about that a lot as we collectively wonder how Dove greenlighted that racist ad, or how Pepsi thought appropriating Black Lives Matter imagery for an ad starring Kendall Jenner was totally fine. Who sits in these meetings? Does anyone in those meetings ever say, “let’s stop for a moment and really think this through?” Well, I’m wondering again what happens in these corporate meetings, because PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi said this week that their subsidiary company, Frito-Lay, plans on introducing special Doritos for ladies. Because OG Male Doritos are just too messy and noisy for ladies’ delicate sensibilities, so they’re making Lady Doritos quieter and less crumbly or something. From the Chicago Tribune’s piece, “Lady Doritos that don’t crunch: A brief mansplaination.”

For too long, women around the globe have struggled under the yoke of noisy, messy snack foods. Chips crunch. Doritos crumble in-mouth with explosive volume. Cheetos leave the kind of powdery finger residue only a hard-working, indomitable man could tolerate. But at last, the gender-alert officials at PepsiCo — parent company of snack maker Frito-Lay — have recognized the struggle and moved to make life better for women everywhere with the idea of lady-friendly chips.

These kinder, gentler Doritos will have a less-audible crunch and won’t leave as much luscious and all-natural Cool Ranch powder on the dainty fingers of she-snackers.

PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi told Freakonomics Radio: “As you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom. … Women I think would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.”

It’s a well-established rule of etiquette that a proper lady never pours the flavor into her mouth. But in the modern era, is it fair that a woman should do without delicious, flavor-dusted corn-ish chips simply because her consumption volume would shatter the feminine mystique?

Of course not. This is a new age, and companies like Frito-Lay are embracing the feminist motto: “We’re here, we’re strong, and we hope nobody notices it when we’re eating chips!”

[From Chicago Tribune]

THIS IS PATRIARCHY. This is food patriarchy! While Doritos are an acquired taste, most of the lady snackers I’ve known in my life can and will straight up murder a bag of salty chips, regardless of the less-than-delicate crunch and chip dust. Why must Lady Doritos happen, and will the ladies be getting other patriarchal foodstuffs? Perhaps we can get Lady Utz too, and Lady M&Ms and Lady Snickers (too gooey for ladies!) and Lady Pizza.

Anyway, the whole reason I’m writing about this is because the tweets are amazing.

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119 Responses to “Lady Doritos are coming to town, because OG Doritos are too ‘loud’ for delicate ladies”

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  1. Snazzy says:

    whyyyyyyyyyy????

    • Alissa says:

      if we can make crunchless, crumbless chips we should just make all chips this way.

      • elimaeby says:

        That was first thought. As a lady: um, what? As a misophonia sufferer: why are any noisy chips even legal if they’re not necessary?!?!

      • IMUCU says:

        And can we get the MSG out of chips? So many major brands still use it in their flavoring…

      • Katie says:

        Ahhh! Noooo! The crunch is so satisfying. I could do without the dust though.

    • BlueSky says:

      Cancel the March, ladies! Victory is ours!!!! Misogyny is over!!!

      • Esmom says:

        Lol.

        Unreal. The jokes do write themselves. I wonder if they will still roll these things out given the mocking they’re taking?

    • serena says:

      Now I feel embarrassed I crunched chips loudly in public.

      • Hazel says:

        And I licked my fingers! Oh, the horror! I can never go to that coffee shop again!😝
        And I guess I need to stop upending the chips bag…. I suppose that would help prevent my having to brush down my front & tops of my thighs with my hand to get rid of the fine chip dust. Oh, save me, Lays!

    • Margo S. says:

      I’m emailing, calling, DMing and tweeting corporate right now.

      • Margo S. says:

        Just called corporate!!! Lady said, “that is inaccurate. That is not true.” BETTER WELL DAMN NOT BE TRUE. Please fire the CEO. What a dumbass.

      • Alarmjaguar says:

        Good job! I went out, bought a bag of Doritos crunched them loudly and licked my fingers. It wasn’t as effective as boycotting, but mmmm Doritos. Still, I was getting pretty pissed about this

    • erbs says:

      This is some effed up sh*t.

    • AnnaKist says:

      I thought this was a joke. I’m in Australia, and usually, when we have parties, the Doritos and other chips are in bowls. In all my days, I have never, ever heard a lady (or woman, girl, female) lament the the noisy crunch of a Dorito, or that they crumbled in her mouth. At our parties, Doritos are generally used scoop up a nice dip. The crunch and crumble are part of the deal. Ladies, or otherwise, lick their fingers (after having had their fill, of course, not before!), brush their hands against each other or use a napkin to wipe their fingers, because they are “in company”. In private, however, those who like/love Doritos, also love the crunch, crumble and noise, and let me tell you, they also tip the bag into their mouth to eat every little crumb out of there! They also then lick the tips of their fingers and poke them into the corners of the bag to gather and lick the very last skerrick of Dorito Dust. This is what Dorito lovers do down here. I detest the tings.

  2. Nicole says:

    I mean…wtf?!?

    • Shambles says:

      Never in my life did I think I would feel oppressed by a bag of Doritos, but it’s 2018 so I should have known better

      • SilverUnicorn says:

        HAHAHAHAHAHA
        Best Comment Ever!!

      • Ankhel says:

        Captain Doritos (aka Chris Evans) should have something to say about this.

      • Nicole says:

        Right. Like after last year I need to stop being surprised by the level of BS that emerges from all corners

      • Shambles says:

        ALL corners dude. Even the sharply sculpted corners of a cheesy chip.

      • erbs says:

        My friend Barb’s response to the CEO (way more funny than anything I could come up with)

        “Well, I demurely eat Doritos with a fork, in a dank private cellar. Whilst wearing a whalebone corset and a hoopskirt. And I may sneak a few crumbs but I always remember to apologize for my disruptive existence.”

        That and “Doritos presents “great ladies of snack foods… Emily Dickinson. Phyllis Schlafly. Emily Post.” The commercial possibilities are endless.”

        Barb always nails it.

    • SilverUnicorn says:

      I don’t think I can add much to your comment, as this is an Everest-mountain of WTFs….
      *madly crunching away a bunch of ungendered Doritos*

  3. Odetta says:

    Well, us ladies are here to be seen, not heard. This is friggin ridiculous. Whoever came up with this idea really misread the current climate

    • Alix says:

      When I first heard of this, I thought it was a joke, or a parody ad.

      So, are the lady chips just soggy?

      • jwoolman says:

        I wondered if they were soggy myself if they somehow had a quieter crunch. Hey, the dust on the fingers is part of the whole experience!

        Is this really true or a hoax? Can’t really imagine anybody would be stupid enough to produce chips that men would be afraid to touch for fear of being accused of eating chips like a girl. They already have bags of Doritos that will “fit inside a purse” anyway.

  4. Millennial says:

    A lot of companies do this already, they just don’t admit as such. Pop chips are one example I can think of, not to mention skinny cow chocolate, skinny girl margarita mix, and most calorie portioned stuff (not that some men do don’t eat it too.

    They are just stupid for admitting it.

    • Wren says:

      There’s even a sparkling wine with a label that looks like it’s catering to the bachelorette party scene. I avoid buying it because it’s so awful. Actually, I avoid buying anything that appears to be gendered because I don’t want to reward such ridiculousness.

    • me says:

      How about Special K? I have never seen a man eat Special K products on TV…it’s always women in the commercials. Also, yogurt…it’s always women in the commercials. Why???

      • Hazel says:

        Let’s not forget all the pink running shoes. And the special shoe store (Lady Foot Locker) just for us.

      • me says:

        We don’t have a Lady foot Locker in my town…just the regular good old Foot Locker and it sucks because they have NOTHING for women to wear in there. They gave us a small area with shoes and that’s it. The whole store is men’s everything. It’s not fair. Doesn’t Foot Locker know that women want to wear athletic gear too? Pisses me off.

      • jwoolman says:

        My brother eats Special K. I don’t. if I eat cereal, it must be appropriately junky and taste good dry (the very thought of adding liquid is abhorrent). Lucky Charms, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cap’n Crunch in every variation. I’ll try any junky cereal on sale, though.

        Maybe they see Special K as a diet food and they figure all women are perpetually on a diet?

        Real men eat Cheerios?

  5. LAK says:

    Partriachy straight out of the mouth of the CEO of the company who is a woman herself. I wonder how they sold this idea to her that she can go out and sell it to the world.

    The marketing people couldn’t come up with a better way to sell less crunchy, less noise doritos except as lady Doritos?!😡

  6. OriginalLala says:

    hahah wtf is this? I already dont eat Doritos (they honestly kind of gross me out) so this is just another nail in their coffin for me!

    • Goats on the Roof says:

      This lady right here doesn’t eat Doritos because I think they’re disgusting. Making them less noisy isn’t gonna lure me in. As a matter of fact, this marketing strategy turns me off the brand forever.

    • Wren says:

      Me either. Actually I make my own chips, so I’m far removed from their intended audience. But if I do buy chips, I expect them to be crunchy and salty and not patronize me with patriarchy thinly veiled as user friendliness.

  7. Parigo says:

    Nacho cheese Doritos are my favorite, but I will seriously boycott all Doritos if they don’t issue an apology. This is offensive.

    And yes, I’m getting mad about chips.

  8. Lady pants says:

    Pepsi Co. just wants you talking about Doritos that is the end game. They are trolling y’all so you get mad and type Doritos again and again.

    • Kristen820 says:

      That’s what I think, too – Viral marketing

    • me says:

      Yes. They think women are stupid and will go run out and buy bags and bags of “male doritos” in protest lol…the company wins !

      • Suki says:

        Agree. This is ‘reverse psychology’ marketing so that women buy normal doritos. The Lady Doritos I imagine will be a limited edition thing, some people may buy them for a laugh. It’s a bit like the Yorkie bar which is famously just for men. I always see women eating them though.

  9. Emilyv says:

    I hope the company is trolling us and laughing about the headlines they are getting because there is no way a company is this dumb.

    Any Schumer posted a video about silent chips last night.

  10. RBC says:

    That belongs on the “ stupid food ideas “ shelf next to low fat Oreos( really?) and bottled raw water

    • Jan says:

      Uh, this is the same bunch of morons company who put out that tone deaf commercial with Kendall Jenner. I don’t put anything past them!

  11. Lo says:

    “The reporting on a specific Doritos product for female consumers is inaccurate,” a spokeswoman stated in an emailed Monday evening. “We already have Doritos for women–they’re called Doritos, and they’re enjoyed by millions of people every day. At the same time, we know needs and preferences continue to evolve and we’re always looking for new ways to engage and delight our consumers.”

    PepsiCo is backpedaling already! That’s a shame, I would have loved to see them humiliate themselves further.

    • Ankhel says:

      ” Our company has suffered some criticism lately. However, Lady Doritos aren’t just for women! This is a misunderstanding. There are many men who would enjoy them too. Like gay men who wants to be quiet and seemly around the man in their relationship.”

  12. Rapunzel says:

    Lady Doritos: Now 3/4 the size of male Doritos, to match the pay gap.

  13. deets says:

    I await my official man card in the mail, Doritos . I lick my fingers with glee, and crunch loudly, so this means I get equal pay right?

  14. OSTONE says:

    Pepsi Co really needs to add more diversity to their departments, especially marketing. With the Kendall Jenner add and now lady Doritos, they are running the company to the ground.

  15. Beth says:

    I love delicious junk food no matter how loud they crunch and no matter how messy they are. Chewing with my mouth closed and washing my hands when I’m done eating solves these problems

  16. Nanea says:

    Do not want DORITAS, do not need DORITAS – and don’t like Doritos.

    If chipss don’t crunch, they’re stale.

    I admit to licking my fingers after eating chips, and pouring the debris from the bottom of the bag right into my mouth. And if there’s a mess afterwards, there’s always water to wash it off.

  17. smcollins says:

    Wait….what?!?! 🤦‍♀️

  18. serena says:

    Because ladies don’t link their fingers after eating chips? Some do, some don’t (same for men), we’re not all some aristocrats princesses.. And why would women want to specifically eat chips silently? This is utterly dumb and insulting.

  19. Snowflake says:

    Those tweets are hilarious! Sounds like they were putting out feelers to see how it would go over! Fail!

  20. teehee says:

    Women do NOT struggle with chips. With struggle with a$$hats telling us we have to struggle with chips. AMONG ALL THE THINGS WE ALREADY HAVE TO STRUGGLE WITH FOR REAL, they gotta come up with this????!!!!

    I swear. With this and privatization of water, I will absolutely never come back after I die, onto the earth. F this place, I will stay somewhere in nowhere as a dot in a far off galaxy and thats it.

  21. minx says:

    Oh, brother.

  22. Veronica says:

    They’re trolling us, right? That’s what I’m assuming. Shades of Dr. Pepper 10 here.

  23. Wren says:

    I saw this and thought is was fake. But, alas, it is not. I’m not sure who exactly their test market was, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman stare sadly at the bottom of a chips bag, wanting those last crumbs but knowing that retrieving them would go against her delicate sensibilities. Or look longingly at chip dust coated fingers, knowing that to lick them would be social suicide.

    Chips crunch. Water is wet. If you want a snack that doesn’t crunch, you don’t reach for chips. Being crunchy is half their point.

  24. Penguen says:

    Please tell me this is satire.

  25. my3cents says:

    Maybe they could work on making men less loud and messy?
    I’m actually fine with my chips the way they are…

  26. Lindy says:

    I mean, I had been hoping for more protections for women’s reproductive rights and an equal wage. But now that I know I can have Lady Doritos, I’ve realized I don’t need those other silly things. I’m so embarrassed; I honestly didn’t realize my loud crunching has so humiliatingly betrayed my delicate femininity. Thank goodness my husband is so forgiving.

  27. TyrantDestroyed says:

    Is Matt Damon signing for being the spokesperson of this soggy snack?
    Sorry but you don’t take away one of my greatest crunchy pleasures : Tostitos rolls 😍 I shall remain a cave woman

  28. sarah says:

    American Problems, that is really bothering you?
    Well that explains a lot….

  29. Katherine says:

    Wow talk about reading the room…

  30. me says:

    This has to be a joke. Come on. I still don’t understand why women pay more for razors just because they are pink or purple ! It’s so dumb. Didn’t Bic put out a “lady pen” a few years ago too? It was pink of course. Oh well…as women we are only supposed to eat salad and yogurt remember.

  31. VegasSchmegas says:

    Someone on my Twitter feed yesterday:
    “Oh, thank GOD this is about snack food – I thought Kylie Jenner named her baby Lady Doritos.”

  32. Isabellalunatuna says:

    Doritos made a statement on this – it’s absolutely not true:

    “We already have Doritos for women–they’re called Doritos, and they’re enjoyed by millions of people every day.”

    • The Original G says:

      I’m glad they clarified, or walked it back. I did hear an interview with their CEO, though on the radio yesterday……

    • Veronica says:

      Contemplating whether I want to assume this was a very successful troll (when was the last time we talked about Doritos this much?) or somebody was legitimately testing the response to this.

      • Isabellalunatuna says:

        Their CEO was a bit of a boob, but ugh…I have too much outrage about everything else to devote attention to fake Doritos stories.

  33. SuzyQ says:

    “I want to know how the Lady Doritos conversation went
    INDRA: Hey Sharon! Doritos needs to take a stronger stance in the Me Too movement. Any ideas?
    Sharon: Equal pay… perhaps more resources for women who experience harassment in the workplace?
    INDRA: Doritos for Ladies. Got it!”

    There. I fixed it. Unfortunately, you can’t pin this one on Bob. Do people not understand that Indra Nooyi is a woman? SMDH. I’d boycott Pepsi if I ate or drank any of their garbage.

  34. The Original G says:

    I’m OK with low calorie food, getting out the sugar and crap…..I’ll try it.

    My “lady munching” is too loud for you? F – off. Please let this be fake news.

    • Alix says:

      If this IS fake news, in an era of ‘fake news’, their timing could not be more off. Comedy does not seem to be Pepsi’s strong suit here.

    • Feebee says:

      Oh please let them promote them with the tag line “lady munching” LOL!

    • jwoolman says:

      What I want is nondairy Doritos Loaded Nacho Cheese flavor (frozen product). I love them but really shouldn’t eat them at all because of my dairy allergy, so I have to try hard to limit myself to “just one”. I even package them up individually in sandwich bags, knotted and twisted, in an attempt to keep myself in line. I’m ok with the little bit of cheese, but the milk, whey, and cream would do me in.

      Come on, if Ben & Jerry can make delicious nondairy ice cream that I can pig out on with no consequences, I’m sure you can make nondairy Doritos Loaded!

  35. thaisajs says:

    I don’t have a problem with less messy, less crunchy Doritos because honestly, I don’t eat them at my desk at work because the crunch is too loud and it gets crap on my keyboard. I don’t think that’s a female thing, it’s a human thing. If the guys sitting near me eat doritos at their desks, I’m sure it would be just as annoying to the others around us.

    • jwoolman says:

      Plain popcorn with no oil or salt added (Bearitos has had tasty microwave packs for ages) and Tings (meant to indulge the Cheeto craving without the dairy, color and cheesy taste comes from incorporated nutritional yeast and they are really good) make excellent computer food. No mess, not really too loud if you have neighbors.

  36. marianne says:

    If Doritos want to make less crunchy, less messy chips then fine. I’m sure there’s people out there that would be interested. I think the problem is marketing it as a lady product. As if there aren’t guys out there that don’t have those concerns. Or as if women are expected to act “dainty” as if it’s the 1950s.

  37. smee says:

    my new drag name – Lady Doritos

  38. Feebee says:

    Seriously it’s the dudes who need quieter Doritos. Of course it might help if they shut their gobs while chewing too…. can Lady Doritos do that for them?

    Maybe they could ask Ellen to promote them, she did such a great job with the Bic pens for her :)

  39. Mrs.Krabapple says:

    I hope they make the bags easier to open for single ladies with weak little girly arms, and who don’t have strong husbands at home to open the bags for them.

    • KiddV says:

      OMG, that reminded me of a commercial from the 60′s, I think, where a car company was touting its new power steering, so “now your wife can drive herself to the grocery store”. LOL

  40. Cee says:

    LOL I’m gonna be extra loud today!

  41. Jay (the Canadian one) says:

    This is the most absurd thing I’ve heard in some time. It’s a wonder these people have the jobs they do.

    That said, I was puzzled by Kaiser referring to it as a mansplaination given this came out of the mouth of Pepsi’s female CEO?

    • Veronica says:

      Mansplaining doesn’t necessarily have to come from a man. It’s more of a general reference to how gender norms are used to justify condescending statements or behavior toward women as a whole.

      • Jay (the Canadian one) says:

        Well, personally (and I realise this opinion doesn’t count for a lot), I wish a different word had been used then. Using a word that evokes a gender stereotype to call out the use of gender stereotypes seems a little counterproductive.

  42. Dr. Mrs. The Monarch says:

    I read her full, original comments. I can see that they have been taken a bit out of context. I think she is smart to see a potential improvement and seek a broader market for her products. I also think she should not have said that this product would mostly appeal to women.

    Personally, I am in favor of this product, not as a woman, but as a SECRET SNACKER. I am frugal and bring snacks with me to see shows. I had my chips confiscated at a play because they were too loud and someone complained.
    I am clearly horrible for refusing to pay triple the price for buying the theatre-concession snacks! Bring it on, stealth chips. Vive la Revolution!

    • me says:

      Well she said women want to carry snacks in their purses. Firstly, not all women carry purses. Also, why don’t men carry snacks? Women aren’t the only ones who do. Or are we supposed to “secretly snack” and not let anyone know we eat chips. Nope, women only eat salad and yogurt ! This whole thing is sexist if you think about it. Women don’t need “special” snacks.

      • Dr. Mrs. The Monarch says:

        I should rephrase that. I discreetly snack during shows where the only food allowed is sold by the venue’s vendors for a stupid markup. My secret Drinking on the other hand… ;)

    • Kitten says:

      I’d be into it if they came out with a version that produced less crumbs because I have a problem: I’m a f*cking slob.

      So, nay for Silent Doritos but yay for Crumbless Doritos.

    • Marianne says:

      Honestly Im GLAD you got called out for eating in the theater. I find that incredibly rude. Yes, concession is generally not cheap but putting on a play is very expensive. If you dont want to pay the prices, then dont. But Im sure you’ll survive the 2-3 hours not having food in your mouth either. Plus, some theaters dont allow food in the auditorium because of messes. And with movie theaters, they only keep a very small percentage of the box office. The rest goes to the studios and concession is literally where they make their money.

  43. Sandy Eggo says:

    If you’re in the Austin, TX area, look up Austin NOW’s Facebook page. They are hosting a crunchy chip eating protest at the Capitol. I think it’s BYOC.

  44. Cafecito says:

    This is clearly the idea of someone that thinks that women are perpetually holding a sleeping baby in their arms.

  45. JRenee says:

    Super dumb ish….

  46. Lilith says:

    This makes me want to shove abag of Doritos in my mouth, chug a beer, crush the can on my forehead and finish with a huge burp.

    These white, male CEO mansplainers can suck it.

    😇

  47. magnoliarose says:

    You are funny! Some good jokes above ^.

    I heard we get a free case with every copy of How to Be a Good Girl and Gain a Husband along with Melania’s Autobiography full of inspirational quotes. They will throw in an extra case if you can prove (or convincingly pretend) the Doritos actually made you lose weight and look 15 years younger.
    At long last, our problems have been addressed. Burn those girdles! 1948 is going to be a GREAT year!

  48. KicktheSticks says:

    This has got to be some kind of weird publicity grab. This is hilarious. Lady Doritos LOL

  49. Candion says:

    This is the stupidest thing I’ve read in a long time. I’ve been eating Cheetos with Cheeto dust since the 80′s. WITH super long nails! I also crunch as loud as I want because NO ONE CARES!