Ivanka Trump is really terrible at knowing how to use words, huh?

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner attend the National Day reception held by the Chinese Embassy

There is a grand tradition within the Republican Party with regards to allowing women to speak. Republicans allow a select few women to speak and publicly represent their party, but only if they speak like malfunctioning fem-bots. The most classic example of this is probably Sarah Palin, who never met a word salad she couldn’t shoot from a helicopter. Ivanka Trump follows in this grand tradition, but in Ivanka’s case, it’s even funnier than Palin for some reason. Like, Palin speaks like someone barely educated and barely literate. Ivanka is genuinely well-educated, and she speaks in the fascistic baby-whisper that’s meant to sound soothing, feminine, docile and yet “smart.” Ivanka desperately wants to impress people as easily as she impresses her father. Her father seems flat-out enchanted with her whenever she manages to get two sentences out without collapsing in a puddle of farts. Other people hold Ivanka to higher standards than that though.

All of which to say… Ivanka learned a lot of words with her fancy education, but she doesn’t know what many of those words mean. She didn’t know what the word “complicit” meant. She didn’t know the proper usage of “otherwise” and she ended up throwing shade at a baby:

So we have something new from Ivanka – she doesn’t understand how to use the words “relative” and “albeit.”

This is symptomatic of something I noticed about Ivanka months ago: she views herself as some kind of corporate baby-whisperer, and she speaks in that kind of nonsensical corporate double-speak language that doesn’t actually make any sense. She writes that way too, obviously. Or she’s just a malfunctioning fembot, who knows? Albeit relative synergy causation fascist complicity juxtapositioning an otherwise brilliant drop-by.

Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner attend the National Day reception held by the Chinese Embassy

Photos courtesy of Backgrid.

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117 Responses to “Ivanka Trump is really terrible at knowing how to use words, huh?”

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  1. Darla says:

    A two cent intellect using five dollar words always leads to babble.

    • Radley says:

      Empty barrel.

      In Trump world, a degree is a thing you purchase to impress other people. You don’t enroll in school to actually learn stuff! That’s for the annoying middle class, not to be confused with Trump’s uneducated base.

      None of the Trumps have any depth. It makes me sad and mad, what a waste. And, oh Lord I so desperately want them to go to jail or exile themselves in shame and humiliation, whichever is applicable. Can’t happen a second too soon.

    • Sunglasses Aready says:

      Whats the saying:
      The apple does not fall far from the tree

    • Carisel says:

      Anyone remember that skit on “In Living Color?” (I’m really aging myself)

      Damon Wayans played a drunk who used 10 dollar words in a completely inaccurate context, to hilarious effect.

      Unfortunately, daughter- wife and daddy dearest aren’t on a comedy skit show. This sh_t is actually real.

      • GirlSunday says:

        Yaaaaaaaaasss! The profligration of his inflammation was adversley intimidating the rectification of the anticipation for the geriatric explanation, excuse me, I mean education.

        My friends and I can crack ourselves up with this 25 years later

      • Sophia's Side eye says:

        I remember that skit and his jar of urine. Lol!

    • puravidacostarica says:

      Just like LeAnn Rimes….

  2. MI6 says:

    Try not to speak.

  3. Indiana Joanna says:

    She really does speak so nonsensically. She speaks like an algorithm of how to be a human being, with all the misuse of words and lack of understanding of sentence structure and nuance.

    And she speaks like a bot. Even when she spoke about her post-partum depression it was all about how she was no longer an extremely dynamic person (brag, brag, brag). She made no mention of being worried that she possibly couldn’t effectively bond with her newborn. No human feelings or understanding of human feelings.

    • Jayna says:

      You made some great points.

    • Esmom says:

      Yes! Although I’d add she’s not just trying to sound human, she’s trying to sound like what she thinks is a human with business acumen (not that she could use the word correctly). And it’s not surprising that she lacks basic humanity…wonder where she gets that from?

      • Indiana Joanna says:

        +1000

        You said it better. It is like she’s trying to figure out how to be a relatable human being worthy of empathy. She always gets it wrong.

      • HH says:

        When you look at her father and mother, it’s just not possible that she was as great as everyone says she is/thought she was. Two things probably help(ed) her shine:

        1 – People were probably comparing her to her awful father. So, the bar is set incredibly low.

        2 – She is one of those people that tries to be non-controversial and only has “safe” opinions. This was always clear to me in interviews and then there was an expose on her and Jared where guests at a dinner party confirmed this about them. They [Ivanka and Jared] only made small talk and commented on bland subjects.

      • Megan says:

        It’s a shame her Word-of-the-Day calendar doesn’t include a sample sentence.

    • QueenElisabeth says:

      I don’t think she is ‘worried’ about bonding with her kids since she raced back to work 1 week after having them

      • Indiana Joanna says:

        True.

      • noodle says:

        Apologies for being so graphic, but my uterus was still bleeding 1week postpartum. All I wanted to do was just try to figure out how to make the pain in my engorged breasts go away, not pass out when the kid was latching on and just sleep, sleep, sleep. Who are those super humans ready to conquer the world one week after? Is it even human? There is no room for any weakness in her life. Jesus, no money in the world would ever make me envy her and those of her ilk.
        Her word salads give me indigestion. And English is not even my mother tongue.

    • Radley says:

      The Russians need to push some updates and reboot her system.

      But seriously, considering who her father is, it’s totally unsurprising that she turned out like this. The good news is that she didn’t become a heroin addict and overdose in the basement at Trump tower. The bad news is she’s clearly the walking wounded. Very damaged and probably not getting any kind of help for herself. I wonder how many breakdowns she’s had that never became public knowledge?

    • Bev says:

      Her f*cking moron of a father’s base would never know the difference because they are most uneducated, uninformed and ignorant humans (I’d like to see birth certificates) that walk (upright) the face of the earth.

    • hmmm says:

      Totally spot on @IndianaJoanna. Fascist Barbie lives, perfecting the Aryan race at light speed.

  4. JEM says:

    Kaiser, you are so damn funny!

  5. Beth says:

    Her daddy reminded us that he was very intelligent because he went to an Ivy League college. Ivanka went to one too, and they prove daily that not everyone who goes is a genius.

    I hope her tweet didn’t hurt liddle Lukes feelings

  6. Sullivan says:

    I enjoyed this post.

  7. Lizzie says:

    maybe it is because her education and grades were bought and paid for and she is an illiterate idiot – just like her father and her brothers!

    • Nebby says:

      It’s so funny too. There’s a clip of them all on the Howard stern show saying how smart they were bc of their college, so Howard asked them to multiply and none of them could get it right.

  8. Rapunzel says:

    Hey, Ivanka. Here’s those difficult words in a sentence for you, so you can learn them:

    Ivanka has an intellect relative to a potted plant.
    Ivanka pretends to be a good influence on her daddy, albeit nobody realm believes her.
    Ivanka is in the white house because her daddy is president; otherwise she’d still be stealing shoe designs.

  9. Reef says:

    Does any body know what words she meant in each example given?

    • ArchieGoodwin says:

      .

    • Esmom says:

      otherwise = all around
      on a relative basis = relatively short
      albeit = on the other hand

      I can’t attempt to translate juxtaposition since I can’t see enough of the sentence to know what she’s talking about, lol.

      • Betsy says:

        I saw a longer quote last night and *I think* she meant she felt so crappy after pregnancy that it was an odd juxtaposition with how she felt great during.

        I think. I don’t speak fembot.

    • lightpurple says:

      In a CBS News interview, she was asked about “complicit.” She answered:

      “If being complicit is wanting to, is wanting to be a force for good and to make a positive impact, then I’m complicit. I don’t know that the critics who may say that of me, if they found themselves in this very unique and unprecedented situation that I am now in, would do any differently than I am doing. So I hope to make a positive impact. I don’t know what it means to be complicit, but you know, I hope time will prove that I have done a good job and much more importantly that my father’s administration is the success that I know it will be.”

  10. Nancy says:

    She really never had a chance. She has believed her own hype since pops put her on the reality show. She has his blood and she is an idiot. Beauty does come from within. If she were a totally random woman on the street, she may be seen as attractive. When I look at her, all I see is evil, a word that is commonplace since these people took over our country.

  11. Jayna says:

    Yeah, what happened to Ms. Corporate America, who worked long hours? All I see her doing these days are a ton of photo-ops with her kids at all times of the day showing what a great mommy she is for daddy’s base and doing lots of fashion photo-ops heading to and from the office or elsewhere, exercising with hubby.

    • lightpurple says:

      And they lap it up and defend her passionately. Point out anything she does wrong and they shriek: “JEALOUS!” Yet nothing about Princess Nagini could inspire jealousy in anyone with a brain or ethics.

    • Elkie says:

      Remember, she’s a hard-nosed businesswoman working 16-hour days until she’s a dedicated SAHM trying to appeal to conservatives. She’s a hugely-involved shoe designer until she gets sued and denies input. She’s a WH advisor until she’s “trying to stay out of politics”. She’s a moderating influence until she’s not. She’s an independent high-flying real estate mogul until the DA threatens felony charges over a failed project and she goes crying to Daddy to bribe her way out.

      • Indiana Joanna says:

        That describes our Grifter Barbie in a nutshell.

      • Annetommy says:

        Has Jared brought peace to the Middle East yet?

      • Heidi says:

        @Annetommy — Nah, he’s still trying to find out who the President of the Middle East is and what the capital is called.
        Or he waits until Christmas to make an appearance, just like our Saviour would.

      • holly hobby says:

        Did anyone notice Dickless Ken and Dumb Barbie have been silent during the Orange Lizard’s Gold Star family attack? What no cute kid pics?

    • Christin says:

      Sixteen hour days, she once claimed. How oh how does she do it all? Those pap walks must be exhausting!

  12. littlemissnaughty says:

    I work with well-educated people and as a language lover (and linguist) it drives me bonkers that they can’t just speak like normal people. They simply have to use bigly words at all costs and half the time it doesn’t make any sense, especially because Germans tend to – in certain fields – mix English and German to the point where none of it makes any sense.

    My English isn’t perfect but at least when I speak German, all is well. This woman is ridiculous and I don’t believe for a second that she’s ever felt the need to pick up a dictionary.

    • Veronica says:

      I look at it this way: use of higher level vocabulary is a sign of education, but effective communication is a sign of *intelligence.* You have to be able to recognize your audience and properly convey your meaning. Sometimes that means putting the thesaurus down and saying the house is “really big” instead of elephantine.

      • littlemissnaughty says:

        LMAO Oh my god, the thesaurus. It can be a great tool but my god, do not every use words you’ve never heard/used before.

      • CariBean says:

        +1

      • Mumzy says:

        Veronica—so right! Tweak that to “proper” use of higher level vocabulary…and I’m with you. I’m not sure what to call hideously improper use of higher level vocabulary, but for her case the best word seems to be “revealing.” At least her dad, despite his inability to spell (or spell check, or get an editor), seems to stay in his lane when it comes to verbalizing his amazing, so huge, winning, big words.

      • Annetommy says:

        It is possible to have a great vocabulary without bring formally well educated. My mother left school at 14. That was the way it was in her family. But she was intelligent, articulate, marvellous at crossword and scrabble, and would have loathed and detested trump and all his works.

      • Veronica says:

        Annetommy – Then she was educated, just not in an official classroom. Education is more than overpriced credits, despite what the college industry wants us to think, lol.

    • Betsy says:

      English is your second language? Well holy Hannah – you’re doing alright.

  13. Honeybee Blues says:

    You people need to stop! She’s architecting communication stuff.

    • Annabelle Bronstein says:

      Oh God, yes. Who could forget Ivanka trying to make architect a verb? Good times!

      • Honeybee Blues says:

        Problem is, when I typed that “word,” it wasn’t redlined as misspelled. I fear she may have succeeded. I’m such an annoying purist, that I correct people when they use “impact” as a verb. It may be in Webster’s now, but it will NEVER be suitable for conversation with me.

      • xo says:

        I didn’t know this & I hate to be *that* person, but, just for the record, architect can technically be used as a verb.

        your larger point stands, though. & it’s all very amusing.

      • Lilly says:

        It’s only a verb in computing or actual architecture, so she is wrong in her use.

      • jwoolman says:

        honeybee- I used to rail against nouns as adjectives, too. Finally gave up. That’s how the language is going, and I’m not usually a prescriptive linguist. Languages change all the time. Fact is, I can see why it’s going in that direction. Takes fewer words to get across the same idea. I just have to get used to it.

      • graymatters says:

        I hate the use of “alright” instead of “all right”. Grammar books always pointed out that it followed the same rule as “a lot” and shouldn’t be written as a single word — until the 90′s, when editors allowed it to creep into popular magazines. Now, no one seems to know that it was ever not okay to be alright. I’m getting used to it, but I still don’t like it.

  14. Nicole says:

    She seems like Eric Matthews when he got his word of the day calendar on an episode of Boy Meets World

  15. Eric says:

    Agree that both Kaiser and Eve? are hilarious!

    I saw a tweet from TeaPain about how ignorant the trumps are:
    “When Mueller sits Dotard down for an interview, EZ-D will say “I don’t recall.” Mueller will remind Emperor Zero that he claimed to have “one of the best memories.”"
    😂

    • Mumzy says:

      And then Bigly D will yell, “I did not say that!”
      And when Mueller plays the video for him, Bigly D will yell “That’s fake news!”

  16. Cbould says:

    Let us not forget about ‘architecting’ her word salads

  17. lightpurple says:

    “whenever she manages to get two sentences out without collapsing in a puddle of farts.”

    I just laughed out loud on the train. But honestly, whenever I see that picture of her in that pink beribboned dress at the G20 summit, the look on her face just screams to me: “I just farted and Putin and Merkel heard it!” And they all consider her “the smart one.”

    Add “architect” to the list. She uses it as a verb. She is a moron. An absolute moron. She has said several times that she hated the various schools she attended. Of course, it was always the school’s fault, never that Princess Nagini was an idiot who didn’t like to be told what to do. I’m beginning to think a Bachelor’s in Economics at Wharton is the “gut.” Both Nagini and Crabbe have them. The other idiot went to Georgetown, where Nagini started before she transferred.

    • NotSoSocialButterfly says:

      I think her degree was obtained the very same way daddy’s likely was… with enormous donations, perhaps an endowment to Penn.

      • Sophia's Side eye says:

        Don’t forget her husband’s daddy bought his degree as well, they all have so much in common!

  18. Veronica says:

    “The most classic example of this is probably Sarah Palin, who never met a word salad she couldn’t shoot from a helicopter.” <—- This sentence is amazing.

    I can understand misusing a word in a verbal interview just because I've done that before when my ADHD brain decides to undergo executive dysfunction and thinks dog and cat are interchangeable terms, but in text, that's just stupid. I have a fairly advanced vocabulary compared to most people because of my writing background, and a big part of that is because I don't have a problem whipping out a thesaurus or dictionary to double check myself on occasion. Not doing otherwise is a terrible mixture of presumptive arrogance of one's intellectual capacities.

    • Honeybee Blues says:

      Thank you, Veronica! I’m heading into year 32 as a writer, and I STILL double check myself. And I still read the New Yorker every week with my “new words pad” and a pen. I’ve yet to get through an issue without at least two new words. And then I research the hell out of them to ensure I’m using them correctly.

  19. Juliaoc says:

    “Albeit relative synergy causation fascist complicity juxtapositioning an otherwise brilliant drop-by.”

    Aaaaand I spit coffee all over my computer screen.

    FFS, Kaiser, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WRITE A BOOK?! Seriously.

  20. Rapunzel says:

    So if I tell Ivanka “the juxtaposition of your father’s administration to the Obama administration shows that your father has been the architect of democracy’s demise” then she won’t understand me?

  21. EOA says:

    She strikes me as someone who is both trying to sound smart but also trying to say things that are non-controversial. And at the end of the day, those two desires are often in conflict.

    • hmmm says:

      Ivanka sounds like she got a look alike to do school for her. After all, buckets of money means you are brilliant by default. The new Trumpian virtue.

  22. Myhairisfullofsecrets says:

    Must be genetic.

  23. Stace says:

    Her mouth annoys me

    All the trumps have strange looking mouths

    Like their lips cannot close over their tacky veneers

  24. LondonLozza says:

    Did she get the same biggly Ivy League education as her father?! Ha!

  25. why? says:

    Ivanka is just like her father. She lies, blames people, throws people under the bus, leaks positive stories about herself and her father, and uses her kids as damage control.

  26. jana says:

    Not only does she try way too hard to appear smart by using words she doesn’t know the definition of, she uses them in that breathy, Pebbles Flintstone voice that irritates me to no end.

  27. noodle says:

    supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

  28. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Oh come on, she’s obviously talking about working long hours vis-a-vis quality time expenditures with kin folk (relative). She insists on family meals and ‘all’ Jared wants to do is ‘beat it’ out the damn door, thus… ‘albeit.’ 😆

    And some juxtapositions can seriously level ya.

  29. Lyla says:

    Don’t hate guys, she’s just trying to architect her very own bigly vocabulary.

    You guys missed one. Apparently Princess Nagini doesn’t know what birthday means either. She wished her 8mo baby happy birthday. 😳

    If I was UPenn I would be asking for the trumps’ degrees back. They’re giving the school a bad name.

    I know people who went to school with her and they certainly have stories to tell.

  30. MC2 says:

    Ok but what is her obsession with those uaf earrings?! My kid gave me a pair of those that he picked out himself for mother’s day & I had to wear them all day to my horror (I faked it very well). They are huge disco balls in person & are cheap looking. She’s the worst.

    • SK says:

      Argh thank you! Each looks like a fluffy dice car accessory thing to hang from the rear view mirror. She has many flaws, but such hideous jewellery was not something I’d noticed till now (actually till that baby tweet – otherwise great day…)

  31. Anastasia says:

    Everyone else said what I was going to say, except:

    I never realized until now that her initials spell IT. LOLOLOLOL!!!

  32. Ally says:

    Ok, so the “otherwise” tweet would have read much better if she’d just left that word out altogether.

    The use of “relative” and “albeit” seem fine to me, though. Like, isn’t she saying that her work hours are relative to her husband’s? That when he’s working long hours, she’s trying to keep hers shorter? That’s how I read it. And I had to Google “albeit” just to make sure I wasn’t missing something here. It’s a synonym for “although”. Putting “although” in that sentence sounds absolutely fine.

    • Rapunzel says:

      Nope. She doesn’t want albeit, which means although. She wants “however. “Jared, although, is out the door” is the wrong word order. It should be “although Jared is out the door.” That’s a fragment, however. So she should use however.

    • Anastasia says:

      No. As a high school English teacher of many years, I can tell you she used none of those words correctly.

    • hmmm says:

      Well she wants you to believe it is all correct. After all, Drumpf speech and grammar are the new normal. This actually is akin to how schizophrenics speak~ loosening of associations, flight of ideas. Some call it ‘word salad’. I call it Orwellian.

  33. rahrahroey says:

    Did somebody spill vodka on her battery pack?

  34. April says:

    That’s a trait of narcissism is to talk in circular language. My brother is an extreme grandiose narcissist and talks in circular language. I have ten books on narcissism and in one of them the author references Sarah Palin, Madonna and Donald Trump as examples of extreme narcissists. The book was written way before Donald Trump became President.

  35. OliviaJoy77 says:

    I know this is going to be a terrible comparison, but Farrah Abraham, also speaks like this. (I’m sorry she was the only comparison I could think of when I read this article.) It drives me insane! It’s like on their quest to make themselves sound smarter than everyone else they end up using words that sound intelligent but not in context to what they’re saying.

  36. holly hobby says:

    I was taught that if you don’t know what a word meant and how it is used in context of a sentence, you’re better off not using that word. Seriously, a bigger vocabulary is wasted if you don’t understand!

    She sounds like Dumb Barbie.

  37. MerryM says:

    The comments on this post are EXACTLY why Dems no longer win elections. PLEASE never stop:)

  38. Brasileira says:

    Hell… I’m Brazilian… never been to an Ivy League anything… but even I can’t do what she does with words without a tremendous amount of effort. And I’ll fail.