Wendy Williams: ‘Women can’t do it all. And we can’t do it well’

It seems that Wendy Williams is actively working to get on everyone’s bad side. First, she earns the ire of the LBGTQ community (more on that in a bit), and now she has made some comments aimed (seemingly) at the main audience she serves. Not smart, lady.

In an interview with CNN Money this week, Wendy, who calls herself the “ultimate working mom” with a “family first” mantra, boldly declared that “Women can’t do it all. And we can’t do it well.” She went on to add, “Something is going to suck. Something is going to be ehhhh.” The 52-year-old DJ-turned-talk show hostess, who said that she’d be a “totally different person without love in my life,” went on to say of women, “If you’re lucky, there’s one thing you do really great. I don’t know if that one thing would be being a mom. Being a working person. Or what.”

She went on to slam stay-at-home moms, stating, “It is a misnomer that because you’re a stay at home mom, it makes you a good mom.” I’m not a mom, stay at home or working, but these are fighting words, am I right? This is a woman who tells of meeting her husband of 20 years, Kevin Hunter, with the introductory sentence “We met at the club…” I am kind of shocked they’re still together. Kevin is Wendy’s manager, and took on the role because Wendy felt he was “one of the smartest men I know.” She asserted, “I’m not one of those girls who needs a man, but I recognize the value of a man. Especially if he’s going to help you out and support you.” If Kevin cleans out her bank account and runs off to to a tropical island, I would not be mad at him.

Full confession, I am not a fan of Wendy Williams. I was already cranky about her after she was selected to host VH1′s live RuPaul’s Drag Race viewing party, dubbed Fierce Fridays. Many of the former Drag Race contestants took to social media encouraging fans to contact VH1 to get Wendy taken off the show, due to a negative run-in with a drag performer in the audience of her talk show back in 2009 and some comments she made regarding Caitlyn Jenner. Drag Race alum Detox shared a Facebook post by New York drag performer Stephanie Stone, who shared the story of drag performer Erick Atoure Aviance, who was threatened to get kicked out of the audience during the taping of an episode of her show in 2009 if he attempted to appear on-camera or otherwise draw attention to himself. Detox added that Wendy is “NOT an ally. She is transphobic. If anything, she is an ENEMY. An enemy profiting off of our community.”

Later, Alaska, who won season two of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars, called Wendy out for insensitive remarks she made about Cailtyn Jenner on her show. Alaska had this to say to blog Unicorn Booty (yes, I’m sourcing a blog called Unicorn Booty):

Frankly, I think the decision to make Wendy Williams one of the hosts of the weekly spots framing commercial breaks for RuPaul’s Drag Race’s weekly broadcast is tone deaf, untimely and incorrect.

I used to watch Wendy’s “Hot Topics” daily, and some of the things she said during Caitlyn Jenner’s very public transition were beyond questionable.

At that time, much of the nation was learning to navigate trans visibility for the first time and needed guidance and clarity from the media. But instead Wendy repeatedly spouted ignorance and transphobic rhetoric to a daily audience of millions.

I don’t watch her show anymore.

And I certainly don’t think she is the right person to be hosting our community’s flagship television program.

[From Unicorn Booty]

Who does this woman think she is? If she alienates women and the LBGTQ community, who is she going to have left? It makes me sad that in this day and age, a seemingly successful woman would have such negative things to say about her fellow women – and the LBGTQ community, both groups who are fighting huge political battles right now. I am beyond fed up with you. Sashay away, Wendy.

Wendy Williams at the Huffington Post

100 Years of Keds at Center548 (548 West 22nd Street)

Wendy Williams Hosts HealthyHeartSelfie Challenge

Photos: WENN.com, Getty Images

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34 Responses to “Wendy Williams: ‘Women can’t do it all. And we can’t do it well’”

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  1. Veronica says:

    I don’t think what she’s saying is fundamentally terrible – nobody CAN do everything well, and there’s an insane amount of pressure on women to be ideas rather than human beings. The larger problem and why her comments are offputting, IMO, is that men are not held to the same standard as women and are rewarded or excused for mediocre performances in certain aspects of their life. Men are allowed to have it all simply because we let them toss the domestic work onto women without substantial criticism.

    • Cynthia says:

      @Veronica I think that is the all point. We are held to the same standard as men but men do not do it all, especially when it comes to “child rearing, childcare”. That still falls 80% on the woman. But we women feed into this because we try to do it all, instead of asking for help, not judging other moms for their decisions, claiming to be perfect. And yes saying things like what Wendy said, that we cannot do it all.

    • I can't says:

      Yeah I don’t think she’s wrong or being offensive here (LGBT issues aside). Being a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you are a good mom any more than being a working mom means you are a bad mom. I think it’s how you spend the time you have with your kid that makes you a good/bad/mediocre parent. I agree with Veronica that men aren’t held to the same standards and it would be nice for a public figure to include men in the discussion about “having it all” and balancing work and family. That said, Wendy’s audience is women so men probably wouldn’t GAF what she has to say about it.

    • Anne Schmidt says:

      Exactly! She is not trying to be Oprah. BTW, I watch Wendy because she is funny, and admits that her show is ‘silly’! With what’s happening in the US/world now, we need funny. Not everyone is on board with Bruce/Caitlin, and we all have opinions. I’m 70+ and she is my gateway drug to understanding some of the cultural and social dynamics of my children and grandchildren. And, she makes me laugh.

      • anon says:

        You’re not “on board” with Caitlyn’s decision to become a woman? BOO HOO. I’m sure she’s just CRUSHED. (Yeah… not really)

        Just like she didn’t need YOUR approval and understanding to become who she is, I don’t need your approval to say this: your words stink of arrogance and privilege. Your opinion of someone else’s lifestyle, when it really does not affect you and can’t possibly be hurting anyone else, does NOT matter. Reign it in, ok?

  2. Scal says:

    I mean being a stay at home mom doesn’t automatically make you a good mom. Good moms come in all shapes and sizes-it’s about what you put into it regardless of where you are working. Some of the worst mom’s I knew growing up were stay at home moms-they were all distracted and bored.

    • Cynthia says:

      @Scal please say that again. Just because you are in the same room with your kids doesn’t mean you are present in their lives. Social media and the intern.et makes it easier to be a bad parent

  3. swedish chef says:

    Who CAN do it all? No one. You can do lots of things some of the time, but when it comes to work, kids and other goals you can’t focus on all of them all of the time. Nobody can do it all. There is nothing wrong with what Wendy said.

  4. Cynthia says:

    I absolutely get where is she coming from when she says women can’t have it all or do it well. It is a fact that women keep trying to deny. Be the super good mom, be the best wife, have the 100k corporate job. That does not exist, and we kill ourselves trying to do it all. Something always suffers and we have to be ok with that, and say maybe this is not the season or stage to focus on that. Because at the end of the day, there is no Trophy for being a superwoman, your reward is stress, guilt and poor health.

    • EMc says:

      Couldn’t have said it better. I have that corporate job, 2 kids and a husband. And it’s very fluid. If I’m kicking butt at my job, my home life is likely taking a hit. When I’m kicking butt at home, work life is likely taking a hit. The hardest part is learning that it’s actually okay for the scales to tip on occasion. And I’m still a good mom, wife, and employee, and I’m okay with that.

      • LT says:

        Totally agree. I heard early in my career – you CAN have it all, but not at the same time and not equally well. I don’t know anything about Wendy Williams, but not only do I not find these particular comments offensive, I agree with them. Being superwoman is hard work – and pretty much impossible. If you have a supportive and loving partner at home, it helps a lot.

    • Angel says:

      Like x 1000

  5. Margo S. says:

    I agree. She needs to open her eyes and start looking at things from different perspectives. It may have worked for her years ago, but not now.

    • Brenda says:

      Hello Marco, there are so many chances that are going on in the world of today and very fast.
      I would like to express that , that we are never too old for learning. In every new occurance we
      must learn to be patience and understanding. Many of our thoughts and feelings we learn from
      our childhood from the people. we love the best (our parents). These values were not only
      taught to us but embedded in us. That is not easy to break away from. We as humans need to
      spend more time understanding, educating and showing more respect. . Stop condemning each
      other and delete ignorance it would create the beginning of harmony.

  6. LAK says:

    I don’t disagree with what she says about women’s abilities. We don’t expect men to be unicorns, and they definitely select partners based on their usefulness though we dress it up as love and being a parent doesn’t have one perfect formula.

    We, as women need to acknowledge these things without getting angry or defensive and get on with what works and is good for us individually and as a society.

    One size does not fit all, and I don’t disagree with what she says.

    • INeedANap says:

      Exactly. Women are told they can have it all — with the caveat that they have to do it all. And we put that on ourselves by judging women who are doing less. Meanwhile, men are high-fiving each other for offloading the work.

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m a straight woman and I would love to have a house husband.

  7. trollontheloose says:

    I never heard “men can’t have it all” or “men can have it all: husband dad and career”. I sometimes think some women just like torpedoe other’s ambitions just because there’s is a endless quest or “making it work”. “You gonna have to sacrifice something. You can’t be both in the kitchen and at work”. Why not? It’s a question of equilibrum. You can have a man who lets you work but demands you cook dinner for him and you can have a man who rather see you work but will cook or clean or hire a nanny/housemaid etc.. I follow some women on Instagram and their husbands/partners are very supportive of their wives and are in fact inspired by them and they both lift each other. All I know is they gotta be some adjustments now and then. there is a cycle of “Ok what worked for the past years is not working anymore or less so let’s see what is to change or improve”. it’s a constant wave of evolution.

  8. WTW says:

    I do watch Wendy Williams. If she made transphobic comments, then that is definitely an issue. I just feel like I need more details about the person who was removed from the audience. Did WW personally tell the performer he couldn’t appear, or was it one of her producers or another member of her team? I guess I doubt that WW personally screens the people in her audience before taping and then weeds some out. Doesn’t seem like that would be her job. Also, was it because the performer was in drag, or because her show has a dress code/policy, like many shows do?
    I don’t remember what she said about Caitlin, but I know she trashes the Kardashians/Jenners constantly, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she said something insensitive about Jenner’s transition. She hates Kris in particular, and she may have used Caitlin’s transition to put Kris down, but my memory is very fuzzy on this. Would have been nice if quotes of what she actually said were provided.
    As for her comments about women, I don’t see anything wrong with them. She’s totally on target. No one, male or female, can have it all. And, no, I don’t think it’s fair to assume that because a woman is a stay-at-home mom, she’s automatically a good mom or better mom than a working mom. Not sure why Corey thinks these comments are questionable.

  9. astrid says:

    I was getting ready to slam her but after reading the quotes, I’m in general agreement with her statements about moms, being a women and having it all.

  10. Christine says:

    I don’t see anything wrong with what she said about moms.

  11. Nacho_friend says:

    I have watched her show religiously for the last 3 or 4 years. Every single show. But I don’t recall exactly what she said regarding Caitlin. She is always supportive of any person worthy of gossip support, LGBQ or what have you, so I am not sure what she said and how it offended people. But I watch the show every single day and she has never said anything negative about a LGBQ, she just slams anyone in the public realm of gossip regardless of sexual preference etc. Peace out

    • Doc says:

      Fellow WW junkie here. Also don’t remember her saying anything transphobic, but I do remember her criticizing her about some comments, I don’t remember which.

  12. Angel says:

    I actually agree…working full-time, going to school part-time, and feeling sick/scared/stressed during my pregnancy. I think it’s fine to do as much as you want to but when work made a “required” class series for several months on my day off I was upset. Can’t refuse, need the job, but can’t relax.

  13. Anastasia says:

    Well, she can speak for herself. I am doing everything I want to do, and I’m doing it well. Your language shouldn’t include the word “can’t.”

  14. Tinkerbell says:

    It’s hard for anyone to do all things well. You have to prioritize and get help where you can.

  15. Aarika says:

    I don’t see anything wrong with what she said here. I am a working mom and I’ll freely admit that I cannot do it all to anyone who ask. And Wendy slams EVERYBODY. She can be crude, rude and mean but that’s what people like about her. It’s refreshing to see someone not kissing butt constantly(especially celebrities’) and speaking her mind.

  16. Monkeeeyz says:

    Isn’t Wendy Williams husband a serial cheater? And rumored to have at some point been with a transgendered woman he met at a club?

    I don’t always like what she has to say because it seems she is one of those women that believes in traditional roles when at the heart of it she doesn’t really have a very traditional life. There are alot of celebrity women like that —main breadwinners who insist women play a certain role.

    I do love it when she interviews Dita Von Teese and tells her to marry an old rich count. And Dita responds with “why? I can make my own money. What I need is someone to break my back”

  17. damejudi says:

    You know what’s funny?

    I thought the header pic was RuPaul.

    Maybe she’s envious/in competition with anyone in drag?

  18. Word says:

    Wendy cash me ousside!

  19. Addion says:

    You’re such a negative blogger

  20. Tanya says:

    It is difficult to do everything. She has a point. Also, yeah, stay at home moms aren’t better mothers. Society tends to use that weird mindset against working mothers. As for being transphobic, let’s not act as if RuPaul wasn’t a while ago with the whole “She-mail” mess.

  21. InfinityBlu says:

    Wendy’s fan base is so strong not even the LBGTQ community can bring her down. She has her own opinions and she expresses herself no matter what anyone thinks! So they can throw tantrums they can throw fits…but I promise you this RuPaual’s Drag Race has never had so much mainstream attention until Wendy came on the show!!! Bravo Wendy!!! Keep doing what you do girl!!!

  22. Peter says:

    Wendy says it like it is. She also draws a distinction like many gay people do between being gay and being trans. They are different from each other in design and process. As a gay man I feel it is unfair to lump all together.

    People don’t have this blind allegiance to being trans as an extension of being gay. We all deserve respect and support but not to be all labelled as part of some fictitious ‘community’.

  23. Luci Lu says:

    Wendy is a very lucky woman….because to have successfully “made it” as far as she has, with no real talent, other than her big gossiping mouth, eye rolls, and ridiculous breasts, is the definition of luck. Do mature women and mothers really give a rat’s ass about her opinions…no. For many years, her stature and looks have often been compared to looking like a transvestite, which may attest to her love/hate relationship with transgender males. I love Rupaul, and I will forever watch the “DragRace”, but there is absolutely no reason for Wendy to be on this show, and she will not be missed if she goes far, far away…..maybe she’s a big investor, who demanded a screen shot (?)