John Mayer wants Katy Perry to know he keeps her shampoo in his shower

John Mayer Enjoys A Night Out At Craig's

I was going to completely ignore John Mayer’s New York Times profile because… it’s John Mayer. But we got some requests for this coverage, so here you go. My thought was… while it used to be fun to laugh at Mayer and his white supremacist crotch, I just felt like… it hasn’t been funny for a while. Mayer isn’t a thing anymore. Which makes it a little bit funny that Mayer went to the New York Times and dropped all of these quotes like it was the good old days and people were just dying to know every little detail about how he feels about Katy Perry, fame, FedEx, singer-songwriters and more. Even in the beginning of the article, Mayer frames his situation as someone who CHOSE to leave “the A-list.” I remember that very differently, don’t you? I remember a gradual fade of “no one gives a sh-t about John Mayer these days.” Basically, Mayer now claims that he’s chosen for years to fade away because he was self-aware enough to know that he consistently came across like an insensitive, racist, misogynistic douchebag. Well analyzed, Mayer. You can read the full NYT piece here. Some highlights:

He compares himself to George Clooney. In a convoluted epiphany, he says he wants to be the George Clooney of music, in that he can do blockbusters or art-house films. Mayer thinks he can do major pop ballads or quirkier, less-mainstream music.

He’s still obsessed with Katy Perry. He calls her his “only relationship” in the past five or six years and his first single off of his new album is about her. It’s called “Still Feel Like Your Man.” The song includes lyrics like “I still keep your shampoo in my shower/In case you want to wash your hair/And I know that you probably found some more somewhere/But I do not really care/Cause as long as it’s still there/I still feel like your man.” Gross.

He’s woke now, don’t worry. Even though his new music video features geishas, pandas and more, he’s not going to start talking about his racist crotch.

He throws some shade on some of the pop-rockers of today. I think this was about Ed Sheeran, maybe? But Mayer wants you to know that he writes his own music and he doesn’t want pre-fab songs written by a team.

He wants a baby. He just became an uncle and now he wants to be a father. He wants a baby wearing “protective earphones” in the wings, off-stage. He claims he’s living out of a hotel because he doesn’t want to establish another bachelor-pad situation.

He only belongs to ONE dating app. He insists that he rarely meets up with anyone from the “exclusive” app.

He loves FedEx. He does a lot of online shopping and his favorite thing in the world is to track his shipments.

[From The New York Times]

He also compares himself to Dave Chappelle and an astronaut. Because why not? As for the Katy Perry stuff… well, she’s done with Orlando Bloom now. I kind of think Orlando was Mayer 2.0 as far “bad boyfriend choices,” so I could totally see her going back to Mayer. Katy and John were on-and-off for so long, I kind of forgot that they actually were dealing with each other for years. I believe that was the whole point of this NY Times story – he was publicly putting himself out there for Katy. He wants her to come back (so he can treat her like sh-t, presumably). He’s also letting her know that he wants kids now. At this point, maybe she should just do that. Go back to Mayer, have a baby. Why not? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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43 Responses to “John Mayer wants Katy Perry to know he keeps her shampoo in his shower”

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  1. lisa says:

    the shampoo might be more interesting than the 2 of them put together

  2. Christin says:

    I will never understand the appeal, and particularly why the women go back to him. He can publicly blab about them and they run back for more.

  3. Sunsetsnow81 says:

    Revisionist history! He’s gross and yes, he is publicly declaring that he wants her back. Probably to rehab his career like Orly. If she’s smart, but she’s not, she would not fall for it. She will though.

  4. HeidiM says:

    So he wants the baby with the ear phones off stage, but does he mention the baby up all nite crying? He’s probably the most 2 dimensional character out there.

    • Matomeda says:

      Can you imagine him as a male role model for a baby?! No, life is way too precious and fragile to be turning out like that again.

  5. justsaying says:

    He’s a walking STD.

  6. ZGB says:

    This is the first time I’m really looking at him when I used to scroll really fast because of the sudden urge to scratch my head when I see the calibre of his list of ex’s. But I have to say, he is a pretty boy, with that badboy appeal thing going on. As long as he showers and wears clean clothes. His attitude on the other hand….*sudden severe head scratching*…. must not think too hard, must not think too hard!!!

    • Originaltessa says:

      People always say he’s pretty, and obviously a lot of gorgeous women have fallen for him, but I just can’t see it. He looks dead in the eyes and he has a greenish complexion to me. He never looks healthy I guess.

      • jerkface says:

        Yeah I think they all fall for him after they’ve had major heartbreak though.
        When they are vulnerable. He looks like a nice guy type but interviews like a cheap pickup artist type that uses subtle confidence breaking tricks to bed sad women. Going off of past interviews, not just this one.

      • Frisbee says:

        Don’t get it either he looks slimy/greasy – and not in a good way!

      • Justjj says:

        Yes! He waits until women are vulnerable and I’m sure negs them and ‘charms’ them with his pickup artist/red pill BS. Katy needs to chill and not date anyone for a couple years, imo. She shouldn’t go back to this grease chasm. A quick way to burn several years of your life is to fck with John Mayer. And who sings about shampoo???

      • elle says:

        He reminds me of Marc Anthony.

  7. jerkface says:

    If he keeps anything of hers around let alone shampoo in the shower then you better believe the item is only there to mess with the head of whatever poor girl he’s banging this week.

    Of course he wants a baby waiting in the wings with its mother who waits on him and diapers his dumb butt too. Such a self important turd. That won’t change.

  8. OTHER RENEE says:

    I really used to love listening to his music. But after his unbelievable douchey behavior became constant front page news, I just couldn’t anymore with him. I couldn’t separate the music from the awful man.

  9. Beth says:

    I have things years after breakups with different boyfriends, but hygiene products aren’t on the list

  10. Nyawira says:

    Who keeps letting this guy do profile interviews? Keep it light and fluffy John and always with an amenable journalist. And stay away from publications that don’t care one whit about maintaining a relationship with your publicist. God knows you need all the help you can get

  11. Harlan Jodet says:

    Supposedly he’s great in bed and I know I’ve made some bad relationship choices based on that fact but having gained some years and a bit of wisdom, I’ve learned that being great in the sack doesn’t always equate to being a good person.

  12. Harryg says:

    I also like to track my shipments! It’s very exciting! Only one more day and the new hoodie is here, yay!

    • OTHER RENEE says:

      HarryG, I don’t order things online too often but when I do, I love tracking them too! I don’t know why.

  13. WTW says:

    All I got is that I like tracking my FedEx shipments, too. I think only online shopping addicts have this compulsion. Anyway, why was this considered interesting enough to include in a profile about Mayer?

  14. Jayna says:

    He’s released quite a few songs on this album. They are obviously about Katy. He’s basically releasing it in sections of like four songs (called waves) each
    throughout the year. Wave 1 was released earlier this year. Now Wave 2 with this song in it.

    I don’t like John as a person nor really listened to his earlier music. I wish he had a better voice. But the
    songs I’ve listened to so far in Wave 1 and Wave 2 are soft and melodic compositions. I hate to admit it, but I am loving the simple sound of these songs for spring music to listen to at the beach. I like “Emoji of a Wave” a lot, another song.

  15. cindy says:

    Does he have any friends? Because I can’t picture it. I don’t think he can have relationships outside of women who he is able to subtlety manipulate. Granted, I think he is probably really really good at this, but he has had a lot of practice, years of it. I wonder how he will manage as he gets closer to middle age and losing his looks. That kind of morbidly fascinates me- what will he do when he’s not the cute, quirky, “nice” guy anymore?

    • HeidiM says:

      Andy Cohen, from those Bravo Real House wife type shows. And Ricky Van Veen – from College Humour etc. SO basically other douchebags.

  16. AppleTartin says:

    He needs about 10 years of deep psychotherapy before he tries to have a relationship and family. It’s well known he was rejected in high school and was obsessed with the popular cheerleaders. So when he started getting them he needs to mind F them to death to punish them for being the archetype fantasy that rejected him in high school.

    His music is mediocre at best now, he can’t even make it on the elevator muzak charts.

  17. Bridget says:

    I don’t know that I would say he “voluntarily” walked away so much as he trashed his own reputation and career so badly that he was forced to step back. This guy is such a piece of work.

  18. StormsMama says:

    He’s actually very ssuccessful playing with Bob Weir and the other surviving members of the Dead (minus phil). He is hugely popular among hippies bc he’s a sick guitar player and bc he has publicly expressed epic gratitude for The Grateful Dead. So he has aHUGE extended family that cares about him now. So everyone dismissing him is kind of hilarious: bc while he may have been a young rockstar douche dating every famous woman in Hollywood, he *did* step away and try to soul search. Is he still a douche? I’m sure he is. But he’s not irrelevant and he is at least trying to grow up (a little).
    TL DR yes I would but ew the stds

    • jerkface says:

      I have a soft spot for Dead Heads and my aunt who used to follow them has a child named Stormy so I have no choice but like you hahaha :)

    • phlyfiremama says:

      Whatever he is like in real life, him playing with the Dead hasbeen nothing short of epic. He IS so talented, it is a shame he has his personality!! Hopefully touring with the Dead gave him a new outlook~

    • Reigntrue says:

      Storm Mama,
      Thanks for the sentiment. He’s an amazing guitarist-jazz, blues, et al… Terrapin Crossroads in San Rafael Ca may be to your liking.

    • Granger says:

      Yup, he is incredibly talented, and other guitarists and singer-songwriters LOVE him. It’s naive to think he doesn’t have friends or influence in the music world, just because he’s a douchebag. I can think of probably a dozen famous actors who have huge pull in Hollywood, but who also have long lists of ex-girlfriends/wives who they’ve treated badly along the way. For that matter, I can think of a lot of men in my own regular, non-celeb life who think they’re god’s gift to women just because they have an impressive, “powerful” job. The ones who don’t grow up and learn how to be better men live long, lonely lives. Hopefully Mayer’s figuring that out, because I do think his music is pretty great.

  19. Lucy says:

    So. Much. Eyeroll.

  20. Djune says:

    I have always loved this so-called “douchebags” music. He is a very talented guitarist singer/songwriter. He unfortunately, he has managed to build himself a not so nice profile of himself which is truly a shame. I would only hope that maturity , time and humility will kick in to unblemished his career. Or is it really too late?

  21. Shan says:

    Pretty sure that if he did have a wife to throw him a 40th birthday party, by the time it came to cut the cake he’d be banging some 20 year old server in a bathroom. Then he’d tell his wife “that’s just who I am” and somehow act like it was her fault for trying to cage him.

    • Jayna says:

      At least, he was self aware enough not to be on his second wife and second set of kids or more. He hasn’t married nor had kids when he wasn’t ready. There’s a ton of band members and solo artists who have done just that, a trail of marriages or ex-girlfriends with children. He’s just a vocal douchebag, which is gross. But his lifestyle is nothing out of the ordinary in the business he’s in (famous musician on the road all the time) just because he hasn’t settled down by age 39. if he waits, will he be faithful? You’re right. Probably not. Lol about as much as Mick Jagger probably.

  22. Jen says:

    ya wanna know why women go back for more?? watch him play the guitar.

  23. Mocha says:

    ‘He wants a baby wearing “protective earphones” in the wings, off-stage. He claims he’s living out of a hotel because he doesn’t want to establish another bachelor-pad situation.’

    It’s so worrying this guy is able to procreate. Awful. But I’m in agreement about tracking parcels online.

  24. SuperStef says:

    I actually really like him. He’s a huge talent, great voice, and one of the best live guitar players I’ve ever seen.

    Sure, he’s a bit douchey, but his music is fantastic. All he needs is a few more hits and people will like again. The public is fickle that way.

  25. Glo says:

    Whoever wrote this article is a douchebag

  26. TyrantDestroyed says:

    He has started to sound creepy in his constants comments about Katy Perry, sounds more like an obsessed person rather than a man “forever in love”. Ugh

  27. QQ says:

    I hope this goes Double Paula On Him…I thin she’ll do it simply cause she comes off as the type to think that publicly pressuring her into taking him back is “romantic”

  28. elle says:

    He needs a better publicist.