Ellen DeGeneres dislocated her finger after two glasses of wine

Ellen DeGeneres added a trip to the Emergency Room to an evening out with wife Portia de Rossi recently. I will recap for you below but if you are able to watch the video, please do. I honestly think Ellen is one of the funniest storytellers in the business and when given the choice, you should hear it from her first:

For those of you with barbaric bosses who don’t allow you to watch ellentube clips in lieu of whatever the company pays you to do, Ellen opens her story with, “You know how in gymnastics, when you do a one handed cartwheel and you have to spread the weight evenly between all your fingers? Well, I had two glasses of wine and fell into a door.” Upon returning home from a dinner party, Ellen tripped on her front steps and put her hand out to prevent a face plant. Unfortunately, the force with which she put her hand into the door caused this to happen:

I won’t go into detail about her treatment because everyone has a different threshold for squeamishness. But the ER doctors set her finger and she’s on the mend. I remember my first dinner party after I’d finished nursing. I, too, had two glasses of wine and brought on destruction. In my case, it was sitting down wrong on a folding chair, causing it to collapse, break and send my @ss tumbling to the floor in the middle of a crowded room. The ER said they were unable to reset dislocated egos, though. At the end of the clip, Ellen tells a funny story about a guy in the parking lot asking if he and his girlfriend could take a selfie with her. While they were taking the pic, Ellen told him why she was there and asked why he was. His response was, “I got hit by a bus,” which in and of itself is not funny but is kind of funny in the context of stopping to take a selfie before treatment.

She also makes a joke about not worrying because, “Obamacare will cover this.” I kind of wish someone would post how much this would have cost without insurance vs. with Obamacare just to make a point (not to Ellen, to those against the ACA). To cover the costs of her latest hospital trip, Ellen is selling her Montecito, CA villa for $45 million. You can see pics here but WARNING its uninhibited house pr0n. Apparently Ellen and Portia just don’t get up that way often enough to keep it. Good lord – look at that place! That’s like me saying I don’t have the energy to lick Diego Luna. You make the time when something is that pretty, Ellen.



Photo credit: Getty Images and WENN and Fame/Flynet Photos

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13 Responses to “Ellen DeGeneres dislocated her finger after two glasses of wine”

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  1. Tris says:

    Ha ha ha – that is the funniest story! I keep going over it in my head: “You know how in gymnastics, when you do a one handed cartwheel and you have to spread the weight evenly between all your fingers? Well, I had two glasses of wine and fell into a door.”
    She’s great.

  2. QueenB says:

    Sounds like the Jimmy Fallon excuse.

  3. Erinn says:

    Ouu that x-ray made me cringe.

    I was a kid who injured themselves a lot. My feet got a growth spurt for a while there, and I was walking into everything for the first while – kept stubbing my toes, and tripping. My right arm from the elbow to the fingers is just a catastrophe with x-rays. I’ve dislocated the lunate bone in my wrist, I’ve sprained my pinky a couple of times then broke it. I broke my arm once, and then lightly fractured it again a few years later. The doctor on call was joking with me for the fracture “yeah, so… there’s a lot of lines from injuries over the years – you really need to give up the boxing”.

  4. littlemissnaughty says:

    I mean … haven’t we all been there? Some nights, two glasses of wine can destroy you.

  5. jerkface says:

    I don’t know man. I’m giving this a hefty side eye. These two have symptoms of a messy relationship.

  6. blairski says:

    Oh that house! What’s the point of making that much money if you’re too busy to spend time in Montecito? Scratching my head…

  7. Emily C. says:

    She hugged up on a war criminal who is directly responsible for starting the disaster we’re dealing with in the Middle East. I don’t believe what goes around comes around — too many bad people have good things happen to them, and far more good people have bad things happen to them. But expecting me to feel sympathy for a phenomenally wealthy person who snuggled Dubya when all that happened to her was a couple dislocated fingers, and not, say, having her town bombed: forget it. I’m done with Ellen.

  8. bonniegirl says:

    Love her. I think she and Portia are on the skids.

  9. elimaeby says:

    Why do I feel like I’ve heard rumors about Ellen’s drinking before? I work in comedy and it’s not uncommon in comedians, sadly. I only say because, and I’m in no way a heavy drinker, two glasses of wine might give me the giggles, at worst. Never had to go to the E.R. for a “tipsy” accident.

    I like her and want to give her the benefit of the doubt. It’s just all too common.

  10. Gippy says:

    Depends how big the glasses of wine were LOL. I have wineglasses that 2 fit a whole bottle. I’m a wino and after two glasses I start to feel it – not fall down though. We’ve heard about her temper, but not her drinking – so I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.