Ellen DeGeneres on her wife Portia de Rossi: ‘it took a while to find this’


I am not the most romantic person but here’s a secret – I love a good love story. I don’t need a fairytale but when two people who generally dig one another get together and it all works out – I think that’s really groovy. When I like the two people involved, it’s even groovier. Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are one of those couples for me. Ellen is on the cover of People magazine this week. In her interview, she discusses how much she appreciates everything in her life but especially her relationship with her wife Portia.

Ellen DeGeneres is nothing if not grateful.

From her Emmy-winning talk show, to ED by Ellen — her line of clothing, accessories and home goods — the Finding Dory star is the first to admit her life is blessed. “I’m grateful for everything. I’m grateful for my health, and I’m so grateful for the love in my life,” she tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story. “Because not everybody finds that. Not everybody finds that best friend.”

Having married actress Portia de Rossi in 2008, DeGeneres, 58, insists she has learned to never take their relationship for granted. “Portia and I constantly say to each other, ‘We are so lucky.’ Sometimes it’s lying in bed at night before I go to sleep, and I just say thank you to whatever, whoever is out there,” she says. “I’ve gotten to a place where I really am just settled. Really. I know that I’m not going anywhere. She’s not going anywhere. I’m not saying the relationship took a while; I’m saying in my life, it took a while to find this.”

DeGeneres defines family as “people who get you. I think the word ‘love’ is thrown around, like, ‘I love you’ is great to hear, but you want to feel it,” she says. “You want to feel that you’re understood, and they know exactly who you are, and they know how to take care of you. That, to me, is family. I don’t think it has anything to do with blood relation. Family for everyone is different.”

So what’s the best part about being married? “There’s no best part. It’s everything,” DeGeneres adds. “I can’t imagine not being married. I have my best friend, the person I want to spend time with more than anybody else in the world.”

[From People]

Like most of you, I don’t think a partnership has to be sealed with a marriage certificate. But when Ellen speaks specifically of marriage, let’s consider the source. For much of her life, she believed she would never be allowed to marry so the fact that she is married is a HUGE deal. I remember the day she announced their engagement on her show. Ellen said, “So I would like to say right now, for the first time, I am announcing, I am getting married.” She even squealed just the slightest bit after she said it. I was so happy for them – Portia’s reaction is enough to melt even the iciest heart.

Ellen and Portia have been plagued with marital strife rumors and cheating allegations for years, just like most successful Hollywood relationships. I’m sure they’ve had their ups and downs like everyone else. But based on what Ellen says here, it sounds like the foundation is good and that can weather most storms. I especially like what she says about family not being blood and throwing ‘I love you’ around. I believe there are people who fall in love – both platonic and romantic – easily but I am not one of them. As a matter of fact, I have only been romantically in love once in my life. Once it finally happened, it took a while to impress upon him that saying it was like giving him a piece of me. Not painful, but profound. I get mad at Ellen occasionally but I like her and I adore Portia. If they split, it would break my heart.

On a completely superficial note – remember their wedding outfits? They both were so gorgeous. I would have worn either of these outfits in a heartbeat.



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12 Responses to “Ellen DeGeneres on her wife Portia de Rossi: ‘it took a while to find this’”

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  1. Chloeee says:

    Portia recently came in to my job. She was so sweet.

  2. Sixer says:

    I kinda read that as Degeneres saying there’s a difference between that kind of intense crush/love that is sometimes a bit unrealistic, and the kind of love that you build a life on. Does that make sense?

    Mr Sixer gets me. The good things about me are the things he was hoping to find in a partner. He also sees the bad things about me but finds them either inconsequential or funny. However, he properly gets me so he sees the bad things as well as the good things. I’m not on an unrealistic pedestal he’s set up for me. Same goes for me about him.

    It does make you feel happy, but it also makes you feel secure.

    (Note to self: this is not tempting fate. Mr Sixer will not arrive home this evening having suddenly metamorphosed into a man I don’t recognise and, in particular, is no longer the House Ironing Fairy. Because that would be the end of the world as I know it.)

    • antipodean says:

      You are so right @Sixer, as just about always. I feel the same way about Mr Antipodean, it is an amazing warts and all connection. He knows I am not perfect, I know he is not perfect, but somehow it just works. I think at its base it is all about being friends, and positively choosing to care and support the other on a day to day basis. It is not supposed to be a fairy tale, that is not real life, or sustainable on a long term basis. Mr Antipodean and I are coming up on our 29th anniversary, we have been together 33 years. I am gobsmacked when I think how quickly the time has gone by, but we are still having fun together. He GETS me, and we laugh together almost everyday. Sometimes we say the same thing at the same time….weird.
      You are so fortunate that you have a House Ironing Fairy, Sixer. I would think I had died and gone to heaven if there were such a being at chez nous. Alas, I have accepted the fact that it will never be. I do however have an onsite lawn mowing fairy, so I make do with that.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      It makes perfect sense. Profound love is more about truly knowing the other person – bad and good – and the trust that you are loved for all of you – flaws and all.

      I still say there is no better feeling in the world than contentment. It’s better than freak-out jubilation. Does that make sense?

  3. aenflex says:

    Gratitude is such nice sentiment to hear anyone express, especially wealthy folks. Having genuine gratitude makes it easier to be, IMO.

  4. Lexie says:

    I’m as happily married as can be, but I can’t help feeling like celebrities tempt fate when they declare “this is forever!” Marriage is work and every day is another step that builds on the one before it. I don’t make any declarations about forever. I just know this is another day of deciding to be in this and keep building. Now, kids and mortgage and marriage definitely seal us together, but I don’t predict the longterm future. Maybe I’m just too superstitious!

  5. xo says:

    hmm. I remember watching an interview, years ago, in which Portia described to Oprah how she felt when she first met Ellen. She spoke about feeling “weak in the knees” and “overwhelmed at how she felt,” saying she knew “the moment she saw her” that she was The One. I had trouble believing her because it felt so exaggerated to me. Just sayin.

    • Little Darling says:

      I remember when they actually got together and from what I recall they met for the second or third time at an event, they both had partners, they were both immediately 100% smitten instantly that they both went home and ended their relationships immediately and got together after that. It was serious, and you could tell in the photos of them talking that this was probably the real deal for them.

      I can’t find anything to corroborate that though. (:

  6. Aang says:

    I remember being in absolute love with Portia on Ally McBeal. Her hair was amazing. Then I read her book about her eating disorder and I felt so sorry for her. Good to see they are happy.

  7. Pick me!!!! says:

    I clicked on this to read the story, but now I want to buy people (haven’t bought it in 10+ years) to read about the mother/daughter killing spree. Gotta know, my mind is twisted! Lol!!! 🤔😆