Nate Parker on his rape trial & alleged victim: ‘As I sit here, an apology is – no’

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Before I start screaming about Nate Parker, I would suggest that everyone take a moment and read this piece at Variety. It’s a guest column written by a woman named Sharon Loeffler. Loeffler is the sister of the woman Nate Parker allegedly raped at Penn State. Loeffler’s sister committed suicide in 2012, and Loeffler feels it is her duty to tell her sister’s story, and make the case for why no one should support Nate Parker. The whole piece is gut-wrenching, but I wanted to highlight this one part:

As her sister, the thing that pains me most of all is that in retelling the story of the Nat Turner slave revolt, they invented a rape scene. The rape of Turner’s wife is used as a reason to justify Turner’s rebellion. This is fiction. I find it creepy and perverse that Parker and Celestin would put a fictional rape at the center of their film, and that Parker would portray himself as a hero avenging that rape. Given what happened to my sister, and how no one was held accountable for it, I find this invention self-serving and sinister, and I take it as a cruel insult to my sister’s memory. I think it’s important for people to know Nat Turner’s story. But people should know that Turner did not need rape to justify what he did. Parker and Celestin did not need to add that to Turner’s story to make him more sympathetic.

[From Variety]

Yes. This is why I feel nothing but sympathy for Gabrielle Union too – it’s not creepy and sinister enough to have Parker and Jean Celestin writing a rape scene in which Parker is the “avenging hero,” but they hired an actress who is a rape survivor to act in their creepy, sinister fiction. The whole thing is a f—king mess.

So, obviously, the promotion for The Birth of a Nation is still not going that well. It’s not the giant mess everyone thought it would be, but just wait until 60 Minutes airs their exclusive interview with Parker on Sunday. Variety has a preview:

Nate Parker declined to apologize for a college rape trial that has shrouded the release of “The Birth of a Nation” in controversy during an appearance on CBS’s “60 Minutes.”

“I was falsely accused…I went to court…I was vindicated,” Parker tells Anderson Cooper, according to a press release from “60 Minutes.” “I feel terrible that this woman isn’t here…her family had to deal with that, but as I sit here, an apology is – no.”

He said he hoped that anger over the accusations wouldn’t cause people to boycott his film about Nat Turner’s 1831 slave rebellion.

“I think that Nat Turner, as a hero, what he did in history, is bigger than me,” said Parker. “I think it’s bigger than all of us.”

60 Minutes did release footage of some of the Nate Parker interview, although the program did include an excerpt in which Parker discusses his Christian faith. In it Parker does admit that his behavior that night gave him pause when Cooper asks him if he feels he did something morally wrong.

“As a Christian man, just being in that situation, yeah sure,” Parker said. ” I am 36 years old right now…my faith is very important to me…so looking back through that lens…it’s not the lens I had when I was 19 years old.”

[From Variety]

Oh STFU about how you’re a “Christian man,” you psycho a—hole. This just proves to me that regardless of all of the big fancy words Nate Parker has learned in the past few months, he actually hasn’t absorbed the message people have been trying to get through to him. What would it “cost” him to acknowledge that he made a series of mind-numbingly catastrophic mistakes that destroyed a young woman’s life? What would it “cost” him to say, “If she was here today, I would apologize to her”? For the love of God.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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132 Responses to “Nate Parker on his rape trial & alleged victim: ‘As I sit here, an apology is – no’”

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  1. Little Darling says:

    He doesn’t think what he did was rape. His victim failed to say no hard enough, so it was acceptable for him to keep pushing her. It’s what men do! Whereas a slave being raped by owners is awful and horrible and deserves total condemnation.

    It’s kind of like how rape apologists will always say ‘rape is horrible and all rapists should be castrated BUT (Brock turners a cool dude, women shouldn’t wear short skirts, insert whatever apologetic you want here). Those real rapists hiding in the bushes deserve torture and mutilation and they’ll be the first to do it!! But date rape isn’t a thing and girls shouldn’t drink at parties.

    100% Fuck this guy. I am surprised he didn’t bring one of his young daughters to the interview like he did before to prevent the rape questions.

    • doofus says:

      “100% Fuck this guy.

      sums up my feelings perfectly.

      I wonder how many times he brought up being a father/husband/Christian in THIS interview?…

    • Redgrl says:

      10000% Little Darling!

    • Laura says:

      Well said. I will not support Nate Parker now or in the future. 100% fuck this guy.

    • Little Darling says:

      I’ll add this because I think it’s important and relevant. I was party raped in high school when I was 16, year 1992, my first sexual experience. I was very drunk, but definitely slurred out no a bunch of times, and he actually said, “You’re too drunk to say no.”

      The definition of consent wasn’t different in the 90′s. Sorry.

      • MC2 says:

        Sorry that happened to you….sending good thoughts your way ((((( )))))

      • Tiffany :) says:

        I am so sorry you had to experience such evil. My heart goes out to you.

      • Robin says:

        That’s awful, I’m so sorry.

      • doofus says:

        I am so sorry that someone did that to you.

        my first time was similar. my heart is right there with you.

      • lilypad says:

        I’m so sorry this happened. The definition wasn’t different, the accountability threshold was different. Any person with a drop of common sense or self respect would know that “no” means no and “too drunk to say no” also means NO, whether it’s the 1990s, the 1690s, 10,000 years ago or today.

      • susanne says:

        Thank you for sharing your story. It’s the reason why things are changing, albeit slowly, so that women feel safer to speak.

        Things were different in the 90s. I imagine if you had told your friends, family, police, or even a therapist that you may have experienced some victim blaming.

        I’m sorry you went through that.

      • Crumpet says:

        Dear God – Little Darling, I am so sorry for what happened to you. And F*ck the guy who did it to you. ‘To drunk to say no’?? What the hell? I am livid, sitting here. Arg!!!

    • Nicole says:

      This. But even if you believe she “consented” to sex with Parker let’s not forget he INVITED TWO MORE PEOPLE to have a go at her. She did not consent to that while drunk. She did not consent to being passed around like a damn toy.
      I tried to explain this to someone who was arguing with me about not seeing the movie and I wanted to bang my head against a wall. I left him with one thought though about how he would feel if his daughter got drunk and passed around to several guys. He tried to say she would never be in that situation and I called him an idiot before leaving.

      Dear Nate Parker,
      You can also go f**k yourself. I hope you fade into oblivion after this. And I hope your daughters are NEVER treated like this by a man in the future. There’s a special place in h*ll for guys like you.

      • qwerty says:

        >He tried to say she would never be in that situation

        SMH. Maybe send him a link to the “just-world” hypothesis wiki page.

      • Bapril says:

        qwerty, Thank you for that – just looked up just-world hypothesis and found it very interesting.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      I wish they would also push him on how he harassed and stalked her after the rape. Does he feel any remorse for that? Probably not, but I think that crime also needs to be tied to his legacy as well. Make him answer for it.

    • T.Fanty says:

      But also, including a rape scene in the movie adds to his f*cked up idea of masculinity. Women are objects for men to fight over and in doing so, assert their masculinity and power. It’s a homosocial affirmation of power that comes at the expense of a woman.

      Clearly, on top of everything else, he’s just f*cking stupid.

      • Maire3 says:

        And I hope that A.Cooper asks Parker about fabricating that rape scene in the script. Bonus points if Cooper manages format the question “Was this a rookie screenwriter tactic of “Write what you know”?”

      • Bapril says:

        qwerty, Thank you for that – just looked up just-world hypothesis and found it very interesting.

    • delorb says:

      He is an awful human and I’m happy that the majority of people here have said the exact same things about white men who rape. So he can’t use that for cover now. And yeah, he tried that one a few months ago. Now he’s playing the religion card. Bull! Christian people who have done something wrong, admit it and try to make amends. He’s a CINO.

    • Otaku Fairy says:

      Yep.

    • dwtsfan says:

      Just saw the trailer, he’s using black lives matter in the clips. All this to ignite race divisions to promote his film. Hollywood is not biased against color when it comes to rape. They award it, Woody, Polanski etc…
      I have banned all films from those directors and will of his too. Shame he’s taking away from the story n this poor woman’s family whose left watching him get away with it.

      • naughtycorner says:

        This Man is scum but pray tell How is BLM and and a story about an actual slave rebellion igniting race divisions ? Are they not a part of Americas present landscape as well as its history .. Was Braveheart used to ignite ethnic division in the UK ?? or was it just a part of thier history . Methinks perhaps you would have had a problem with this film regardless of this dudes horrid background

  2. angel l says:

    An apology is an admission of wrong doing, a way to move towards making amends. Nate Parker still believes he didn’t do anything wrong.
    He is a disgusting vile human being.
    He is using being young and dumb as an excuse for rape just like Brock Turner is using alcohol.

    • qwerty says:

      He must;ve been so excited to be a movie star. Instead, he’s just a famous rapist now and his big movie tour turned into one long story about how he raped a woman. No one with a right mind will touch him with a 10-foot-pole for another film. Unless they’re his rape buddy, that is…

  3. Audrey says:

    He reminds me so much of Derrick Rose. Excerpts from his civil trial make me sick

  4. Moose says:

    He is disgusting. I hope after all this dies down I never have to see or hear from this person ever again.

    • qwerty says:

      I hope it never dies down. Not until every person in Hollywood sees it and remembers his name, and the only roles offered to him are those of an extra in Sharknado 18.

  5. Lyka says:

    “Falsely accused”? Nate Parker is saying that this woman (who aged out of foster care and got into a great school) decided to throw her own future under the bus to put herself through trial after trial, civil suit after civil suit, suicide attempt after suicide attempt, for a rape she INVENTED. He’s saying that she died a liar.

    This man is truly FOUL.

    • Willa says:

      Yes, that’s what he is saying. She died a liar. Disgusting rapist pig.

    • doofus says:

      and let’s not forget the harassment she suffered from him and his friends.

      • adastraperaspera says:

        Yes, I believe this is as unsettling as anything in this situation. The follow-up harassment is well-documented.

        It was so bad that the Women’s Law Project in Pittsburgh, PA filed a lawsuit against Penn State, accusing them of allowing Parker and Celestin to harass the accuser without being disciplined. The harassment included standing outside the accuser’s dorm room and not letting her leave, following her around campus and calling her names and also publicizing her name and accusations so other students could harass her. The Women’s Law Project won a settlement on this.

      • Merritt says:

        This part is just so upsetting. He and his friends harassed this woman relentlessly. IMO, he wanted her to commit suicide.

    • MC2 says:

      Not exactly- his justification is worse then that. He is not falsely accused because said event didn’t happen, he is falsely accused because HE shouldn’t be guilty of rape because……. He admits that she was too drunk to say no, he admits to inviting his friend….it was just not ‘rape’ because he is f-ing so privileged that he can pre-meditate to get a girl so drunk that he incapacitates her & have his way with her. The only ‘false accusation’ was that she chose to try and fight back. That she spoke the next morning. He is against that part- that is the ‘false’ accusation, not the rape. He didn’t slink away when she came out or run- he attacked her. In Nate’s world women should just shut up & stay that way. If not then he will drag you until you actually die.

      F-k Nate Parker.

  6. Donna Martin says:

    Would it cost him any legal punishment if he admitted it? I’m legit asking – I don’t think k he feels remorse or even an understanding of his actions since he’s a narcissist but I’m just curious if he did say he was wrong or that he was sorry about his transgression. Would he be charged again? Or anything?

    • Oya says:

      I suspect the statute of limitations is up as far as criminal charges, but would like to hear any lawyers on whether the family could file a civil suit. That could in fact cost him something (although obviously not what it cost the victim and her family.)

      • Kori says:

        I was actually going to post something like this. These kinds of civil suits are more common then they were back then. The family certainly isn’t hesitant about taking him on since they’ve spoken a few times publicly now. And their poor sister is past being hurt by anything he could say/do during a lawsuit. Didn’t she leave at least one child? Perhaps a civil suit could be brought on their behalf. There’s certainly the court transcripts and now his public statements to use.

    • MC2 says:

      My thinking is that he is nervous about a law suit of some kind- or at least his lawyers & studio are. There are statute of limitations for civil cases and it varies by state & type of civil case.
      But there is what is called the”Discovery of Harm” rule (pasted below) which keeps the door open for suits still.

      I would love someone to sue the hell out of him for making the victim’s family relive this rape and watch (or at least hear about) the rape that him & his co-rapist wrote. I would argue that the harm inflicted on them now was when he decided to replay their family members rape on screen (I would take every instance of that rape he wrote & make it parallel the rape he did and I would ask the questions very slowly…..)

      The statute of limitations doesn’t start until victim is 18 & they know that they have been harmed. Does the victim of Nate Parker have any relative that is around 18 who now has to answer questions about heir auntie’s rape & death?! If so- they should sue the hell out of him. Find a way!!!

      Cut & pasted from the interwebs:
      Discovery of Harm: While a statute of limitations may declare that a personal injury lawsuit must be filed within a certain amount of time after an accident or injury, that time period usually does not begin to run until the moment when the person filing suit knew (or should reasonably have known) that they had suffered harm, and the nature of that harm.

      ps- not an attorney

    • Tiffany :) says:

      A little ray of sunshine…
      CA just abolished the statute of limitations for rape.

      • Kori says:

        I read that the Cosby case had a lot to do with it. If so, then that’s one positive thing to occur from his litany of horrors. His victims won’t get much of any redress but at least they can look at that as a major step for future rape victims.

    • swak says:

      Not positive, but don’t think he can be charged again with rape. He was charged, tried and found not guilty – that would be double jeopardy. Law suits may be a different story.

  7. Mia4S says:

    I literally don’t think I could even watch a movie with this guy. I now get physically ill looking at him.

    Oh you’re a Christian man huh? Sarcasm/ Of course because Christian men have never committed atrocities or been complete and utter garbage/…. 🤔 Shall I start the list alphabetically or chronologically?

    • Mousyb says:

      RIGHT?? Ugh and to think i was actually rooting for him and his career. I will never pay to watch his films ever again. At least pretend youre sorry or dont say anything!! He needs to fire his pr team ASAP

    • Taiss says:

      Right! Just the sight of his face makes angry. I can’t imagine watching a movie, where it’s all about him. I hate him so much.

      I get so mad people try to guilt trip black women into seeing that movie.

    • Red says:

      Many Christian men are good men. I’ve yet to meet a man who SAYS “I’m a good Christian man” who is remotely decent.

    • LinaLamont says:

      Ugh. Please. All these vile hypocrites who hide behind the veil of religion. Say it 3x and it’s true?

  8. VirgiliaCoriolanus says:

    He’s showing his true colors real quick, after no one bought his BS……..

  9. Georgia says:

    I will definitely not see the movie. What an a-hole!!! And I feel for the amazing woman that is Gabrielle Union,who has to stand right next to this turd after all that she’s been through

  10. HH says:

    Aaah… And there it is… The hoopla has died down for him, and he goes right back to being callous. In case I thought he could redeem himself in my eyes, now it’s solid “nope.” Especially since, as an eloquent essay put it, the bar is already low for him. He raped someone and all anyone is asking for is acknowledgement and an apology

    • Little Darling says:

      Honestly that’s one of the things that stands out to me the most as a huge red flag- he clearly has a pathological need to “control the story” even when bringing it up over and over and over again is clearly not doing him any favors. It certainly puts one in mind of the victim’s claims that Parker stalked and harassed her for having the audacity to make claims contrary to his version of events/his perception of himself. It’s all about power. It’s all about Parker’s belief that his point of view is the right one. It’s all about his need to assert that his story – even a story about a fictional rape he invented to motivate his male hero – is the important one. It’s beyond disturbing.

    • inmymind says:

      Would it really matter if he actually apologised? I mean can anyone ever forgive a rapist? I know I wouldn’t. This sh!t is nothing but a satan.

  11. geekychick says:

    IF he apologized, he would send the message that his film is bigger than him. as it stands, nothing he ever makes will be interesting enough to forget he raped a young woman and essentially, KIDNAPPED her life. He destroyed someone because he wanted his fun and felt he deserved his fun, no matter the victim. And he still thinks that was okay. If he didn’t think so, he wouldn’t write the script with his co-rapist, would he now? This is disgusting and I truly feel for the family of the victim who have to listen to this drivel while the victim is not with them anymore.
    And I don’t get the “I’m a christian.”-schtick!! Who cares to what god you’re praying to in privacy of your own bedroom? I don’t. People shouldn’t. The only thing that should matter is what you’ve done with your life.
    What has this world come to, seriously?

    • Tulip Garden says:

      I don’t think he has internalized the atone and ask for forgiveness part that is required for a Christian, humbling himself and confronting his actions. He hasn’t asked the family, the public, or possibly God for forgiveness. So why should any of the above forgive him?
      He’s his frightening in his denial.
      All of my sympathy and best wishes to the victim’s family and a prayer that she rests in peace.

      movie? Who gives a flying f#ck?

      • geekychick says:

        I know what he wants to say with the “I’m christian.”, it’s just that I don’t buy those kind of statements from anyone. I’m a christian is a sentence that stands on other silent prejudices like “I’m a christian, not a vile atheist/terrorist muslim/ exotic hindu, you should trust me.” That is the actual silent part of that sentence, built on years and years on white-centric, euro-anglo centric world view. I don’t care for those anymore. I care for good people, not their religion. And I find that kind of statements so out of touch, especially in this day and age.

      • caitlinK says:

        Agree w you…As for his being a “Christian” so the hell what: most SLAVE OWNERS were supposed Christians, too. That did not change the fact that they were defective, cruel, terrible people, and Nate Parker is a cruel and awful person, too. Enough w the “I’m a Christian!” He’s so low nothing can save his disfigured soul.

    • qwerty says:

      >he raped a young woman and essentially, KIDNAPPED her life.

      It does apply in this case, assuming she committed suicide as a result of the rape and not some other issues (I honestly don’t know). Having said that, I’m gonna share this essay as I think it offers an interesting take on being a rape survivor that’s not often talked about.
      http://thenewinquiry.com/essays/live-through-this/

  12. NeoCleo says:

    I am sorry that the decent people associated with this film will feel the impact but there is no way in Hell I am going to ever watch this movie now. That’s a damn shame too, because it is a story that needed to be told.

    So absolutely disgusted by this man.

    • lucy2 says:

      Me too, I feel bad for the cast who is now stuck promoting this, and especially for Gabrielle. But I feel no sympathy for him.

      He may be a talented guy, but learning all this about him and the horrible crime against that poor woman, and his lack of character now, he will forever be a giant NOPE for me.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      I don’t know this story and I was REALLY looking forward to the movie. The visuals looked amazing and I wanted to learn more about that moment in history.

      I am probably going to get a screener for this movie this year, so I won’t have to pay for it to watch it. I can’t decide if I should actually watch it. Is it possible to evaluate it on its merits? Would it be a form of support for him to watch it, even if I do not pay for it? Hmmm. At least I still have some months to work it out.

      • LAK says:

        Are you getting a screener because you are voting for an award show?

        if yes, you are only excused the part where his promotion company, be it studio or his producers send you the screener.

        If you watch and then vote for him or the film, then you are supporting him.

        His vision drives this film. That means his co-workers are collateral damage and whilst that is horrible, any votes for them is an indirect vote for him because they are working from *his* vision and drive. They have nothing to answer for except working with him, but it isn’t the same as working with a problematic actor who was merely hired to do the job. They are,unfortunately, intrinsically linked with him.

        A total boycott is the only way Nate Parker will be punished because praising his co-workers is indirectly praising him. He wrote, directed, produced AND starred in it. The entire work is tainted by his touch. All of it.

        Zero Tolerance.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Yes, it would be for an award show consideration and the studios send them out voluntarily. Even if it was the most magnificent thing ever, I don’t think I could vote for the film because of his history (I’ve never voted for Allen or Polanski, or actors in roles from their films).

  13. Marty says:

    I just don’t understand the Hollywood machine sometimes, there are literally hundreds of movies out there to support yet Hollywood types have no problem propping up these vile individuals.

    I am one of those people that can’t separate the art from the predator, but more importantly, why should I have too? They are plenty of non-garbage film makers out there. I’ll give them my time and money, not this POS right here.

  14. QQ says:

    He is Steaming Garbage, and I’m Canceling Him. Full Stop .Period

  15. Daisy says:

    I always believed the victim in this case, but what really solidified it for me was the harassment. After she reported the assault, Parker and his friend harassed her around campus for years. To me, that indicates that they knew she was right and they were trying to shut her up by intimidating her. It’s so awful. Even if someone tries to justify the rape (which: NO), the repeated, ongoing harassment has no excuse. He hasn’t addressed that at all.

    • Hannahsmom says:

      I hope Cooper grills him on the details. I really would like to hear what he has to say about that. I don’tthink he has addressed the harrassment or the fact that he beckoned two men to join in, his oartner conviction or the fact that he is still good friends with the tool who was convicted.

  16. vilebody says:

    How about an apology for all the harassment he put her through during and after the trial? Or about the fact that her apartment was literally broken into and the only thing touched were legal documents relating to the case? Or the fact that he initially lied to her when she asked what happened on the night she blacked out?

    As little darling said above, fuck this guy.

  17. Gaby says:

    What a vile, disgusting excuse for a human being. Rot. In. Hell.

  18. Chris says:

    I actually think he knows what he did is wrong but won’t apologize and refers to it as false accusations because he does not want to admit guilt. Maybe as a young man he didn’t realize the full weight of what he did and how disgustingly he acted but it think he definitely does now. Either that or he’s a psycho and was fully aware of what a monster he is and is now throwing it in people’s faces by creating a fictitious rape in a historical movie so that he can be the saviour. Is it crazy for me to say I will be really mad if any of my friends go see this movie?

  19. QueenB says:

    great promo strategy!

  20. Ariel says:

    According to the court testimony, NATE PARKER invited two friends to come into the room and have sex with a partially unconscious young girl. The man who chose to participate was found GUILTY. He appealed and the conviction was reversed when the young victim decided she could not survive ANOTHER TRIAL. The man who chose not to participate in the gang rape is the one who gave this testimony.
    The RAPE victim, COMMITTED SUICIDE, so she has no further statements to offer.

  21. Bonzo says:

    Has Nate Parker suddenly got overconfident because the standing ovation is movie got it TIFF?

    I wasn’t planning to watch this movie anyway. Now I’m on the warpath to convince everyone else not to watch it. What an a******.

  22. Margo S. says:

    Yeah… I just feel all sorts of uneasy about this situation. We all know the judicial system, when it comes to sexual assault, is very much flawed. So even though he wasn’t found guilty, he was still initially charged. He messed up huge and was in a situation where the victim became so messed up that she killed herself. Regardless if these “men” think that it was consensual, she did not and you need to respect that. The fact that these people assume every person who is a victim of attempted rape is going to kick and scream no is erroneous. Most of us freeze and say nothing because we are so petrified by what is currently happening to our bodies without our permission. Eff this guy.

  23. LizLemonGotMarried says:

    So I am a less than “perfect” victim. I was sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend, and we went to court. I was questioned why I still spoke to him, why I went to my job near him, etc. if he truly assaulted me by the judge himself (small backwoods town). My own FATHER, an otherwise amazing person, criticized how I handled being a victim, because that’s how common and pervasive rape culture and victim-blaming are. The guy and his friends gaslit me and claimed I was crazy, etc. I’m 35, this was 16 years ago and it’s taken me this long to finally tell someone that didn’t know about it then that I was assaulted because for a long time, I questioned whether it was truly an assault. I got in the car with him, I still spoke to him afterwards…nevermind that I was screaming no, don’t touch me at the top of my lungs at the time. I was going off about Nate Parker and this shitty, shitty, shitty movie situation (the rape, the harassment, the conviction, the writing partner, the invented rape in the movie, and hiring GU), and my husband, who I met 8 years after this happened, looked at me and said, “Were you a victim? You’ve never said, but I’ve always wondered with the way you take every case like this personally. It’s absolutely horrible, but you’re offended on a level that just seems different from how your respond to other stuff. Same with the Brock Turner situation.” So I finally told him, and now I’ve told y’all, and that’s the only times I’ve talked about it in 16 years.

    I said all that to say this: 1) There are no perfect victims. Rape is horrible and messy and coping with it in whatever manner you need to should not undermine the court’s ability to hold the attacker accountable. So that needs to be fixed. 2) Nate Parker is a rapist and a callous, cold, cruel human being. The way he treated that woman, both the rape itself and the stalking and harassment afterwards, should be plastered across every gossip website and news source known to man. 3) Gaslighting and harassment and screwing with people over and over and over after you’ve already left them broken should be punishable by law.

    • SilverUnicorn says:

      Sending hugs. I’m a survivor too.

    • Little Darling says:

      <3 <3 with you hon. Sending hugs.

    • Tulip Garden says:

      I’m so sorry that you experienced all of that Liz. It sounds like you have confronted your righteous emotions which I hope has empowered you. For as little support as you received via your father and friends, I would just say that they were flat out wrong and misguided. Regardless, your pain is obvious and, while you may always carry it with you, it seems that you are using a horrible situation to sound the alarm to others (even if only on this website).
      Also, your husband sounds like a true gem, able to give you time and space to share your experience when and how you chose.
      Best wishes going forward. You never know who this one post will serve as a a warning or validation. Thanks for sharing.

    • Poisonous Lookalike says:

      Sending lots of hugs and support to you—and to all the other survivors here. My situation was pretty similar to yours, except it wasn’t an ex-boyfriend, and I was married at the time.

      It is truly sick that people who “cope well” with sexual attacks are doubted. Our strength becomes a liability.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      My heart goes out to you. You made really strong points in your post, and I am glad you shared them with us. Thank you!

    • I Choose Me says:

      Another survivor here. But of childhood sexual abuse. I hope sharing that was in some way cathartic and I wish you healing with the understanding that some people are able to and some won’t. Please know that whatever your journey, you are not alone.

    • Saks says:

      I’m so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending you lots of hughs.

    • Giddy says:

      i wish that we attached more serious attention to the word “survivor”. It’s so much more than being alive after experiencing horror. You were strong enough to survive an attack that touches the soul and heart of a woman. With minimal support you still survived and that shows that you have untold strength, as do so many rape survivors. Im proud of you and I’m a little in love with your wonderful supportive husband. I wish you all the best and consign Nate Turner to the depths of hell.

  24. Joy says:

    I spent more time than I should have reading about this yesterday. Most of the gossip sites aimed at the urban demographic are ripping the victim to pieces. Basically saying she is a promiscuous liar.

    • anna says:

      by urban demographic you mean black, right? someone enlighten me please, i have never understood how there still seems to be some sort of nicole brown simpson-effect in that black girls and women really dislike white girls that are involved with black men. what’s up with that? how does that play into the reading of the nate parker situation and how can any black woman identify with a black guy instead of the white female victim, chosing race over gender, so to speak. honestly asking, don’t mean to offend anyone but female identification with a perpetrator of the same race (and bc of race?) in a sexual assault is very confusing to me.

      • Lucrezia says:

        On a previous post, some celebitchies (QQ? Someone else? Sorry – I can’t quite remember!), linked to a blog that really helped me understand some of the stereotypes and sub-currents at play here. I highly recommend reading these two articles:

        First off, a black feminist writer, attempting to understand the male narrative here, asks a black male friend about the case: http://demetrialucasdoyley.com/writingwork/him-youre-looking-at-it-like-a-black-girl-white-girls-are-entirely-different

        And the follow up, where she unpacks her reaction to her friends story: http://demetrialucasdoyley.com/writingwork/the-person-they-desire-becomes-the-person-they-also-fear

        In that blog, the female author is clearly feminist and sides with the female victim but it still gives you an idea where the white slut stereotype comes from and some of the racial elements at play in this case.

      • naughtycorner says:

        @Anna etal
        Soooh by urban sites you assume Black women right ? couldnt be Black Men who are just as misogynistic as thier white male counterparts ??
        I dont know which ” urban sites” @ joy is referring to but black women sites i.e Clutch /Madamenoire have been condemning Nates actions from day 1 .In fact before the Deadline story broke , BW brought it up on twitter and some of the first and strongest articles in favour of the victim were by Black feminist such as Roxanne Gay and the victims brother first came out on a sympathetic article written another Black woman on the Root. All of this this whilst some white feminist sites i.e Jezebel were at first tiptoeing around or softsoaping the issue (apparently for fear of being accused of racism I dunno)

        From what I have seen on the “urban sites ” its mainly Black men (and a few women ) who feel that Black men are automatically entitled to BW support regardless and are upset many Bw are condemning Nate and his film in support of his victim regardless of her race .The article@Lucrezia linked is about a black MAN trying to tell black women that they are seeing it as rape is wrong and they dont understand white women ???? WTF
        We are black and we are also women we cannot separate the two it is interesting how quickly some people want to lump us together with black men . Oh well

      • anna says:

        @naughtycorner: thanks for your interesting response. just one thing: i assumed she’s talking about black women bc she said gossip sites and those are predominantly female, right? didn’t mean to lump anybody together.

  25. Georgia says:

    Fuck this guy forever and a half. please don’t use your innocent family as an scapegoat to why you’re not a piece of shit. Please don’t use time as a scapegoat as to why you’re not a vile and cruel man. Please don’t use religion to excuse the way you see your past. You are forever a rapist and you can forever fuck off with your rapist friend.

  26. Robin says:

    I hope his movie tanks at the box office, and if it’s nominated for any awards, that a bunch of protesters show up. What a scumbag.

  27. Veronica says:

    Even if he wasn’t a shitstain of a human being, I’d avoid this film. At 30, my patience for movies where the brutalization of a woman is used as motivation for a man is well past its expiration on appeal.

  28. DianaB says:

    He is literally turning my stomach. What a PoS. I hope this freaking movie bombs SO bad. He has learned nothing and will learn nothing. Go to hell Nate. Really.

  29. Paris says:

    God! He is disgusting!

  30. LAK says:

    There is only one option. Boycott at all levels. Even when it comes to Netflix or Amazon or freeview.

  31. Pandy says:

    You know, he gave a very Trumpian response. I was vindicated smells a lot like “I used a loophole”. Let’s vote with our dollars and stay away from his rapey movie.

  32. mazzie says:

    Please fail at the box office, Nate Parker. (Sorry, Gabrielle Union, you’ve been a star). Money is the only thing directors and Hollywood understand.

  33. squeezeo'lime says:

    Disgusting piece of sh*t pig. What he did is all over his nasty face.

  34. m0sha says:

    #oscarssorape

  35. Kri says:

    I hope somehow somewhere this woman knows that finally some of the light of truth is being shown on this man. And justice for all.

  36. K2 says:

    He is a skin-crawlingly disgusting human being. And I hope the family of his victim can draw some comfort from knowing that many, many people now fully see that in him.

  37. HK9 says:

    How would he feel if this happened to his wife/sister/daughter/mother?? This kind of willful ignorance just drives me crazy.

  38. Sam says:

    What did or didn’t happen back in 1999 isn’t Nate Parker’s biggest obstacle right now to a continued career as a marquee actor and a director. His biggest hurdle is how he is handling this PR crisis TODAY. Parker either needs to get a better publicist, or start listening to the one he has. While I think it is unfair that he is being blamed for the victim’s suicide (she later developed severe mental illness), he has only himself to blame for how this story blew up in the press and on social media. He is coming off as controlling.

    When I first learned about the victim’s allegations of harassment, I was willing to give Parker a lot of benefit of the doubt. Penn State students are perfectly capable of independently harassing someone who hurts their school’s athletics. That kind of mob mentality doesn’t require specific encouragement. But the way Parker is acting now, 17 years later, gives me pause. He doesn’t seem able to give up control of the narrative or accept that others will view the events of 1999 differently than he does. That behavior seems consistent with someone who would stalk/harass the victim because her perception of that night was different than his own.

    • Trashaddict says:

      Sorry, Sam. I believe in holding my children (the youngest of whom is 13) accountable for their actions and attitudes. A college-age person should have a moral compass. So don’t excuse this with the whole “mob mentality” thing. This shitstorm blew up in his face because he refused to behave responsibly then. Hopefully no amount of PR will compensate for that, to anyone with half a brain.

    • Poisonous Lookalike says:

      “While I think it is unfair that he is being blamed for the victim’s suicide (she later developed severe mental illness) …”

      Do you think that the rape and its aftermath had nothing at all to do with her developing mental illness?

  39. LinaLamont says:

    Pretty sure I’ll be getting a screener.
    No eyeballs;  no vote from me.
    Will “Return to Sender” the DVD.
    Won’t watch online.
    Won’t attend screening.

    • LinaLamont says:

      Whoops. I’m sorry. I meant to post the above in response to
      @LAK in post #12

    • LAK says:

      Me too Lina, me too.

      Zero tolerance.

      • LinaLamont says:

        This project never should have been greenlit in the first place. What a mess. And, as I’ve said before, no sympathy for poor Gabrielle Union who “had to play” a rape victim. No, she didn’t. And, she chose to turn a blind eye to the fact that Parker was/is guilty, despite the transcripts. There’s no ambiguity, as she implies. The studio, the execs… equally disgusting.

  40. LN says:

    I knew them at PSU. THEY 100% DID IT. End of story. A fact is a fact. Rot. In. Hell.

  41. madi says:

    He got one thing right, Turner’s story is bigger than him. Hopefully one day it will get a movie it deserves.
    I don’t really understand the problem many people have with supporting this movie. It’s a f…ing movie made by two creeps who put their rape fantasy in it vs. raped and driven to a suicide girl. How hard a choice is it?

  42. Neil says:

    It’s too bad he wanted to wrap this worthy movie (it HAD good buzz) around him as writer, actor and director. Perhaps if he chose to limit himself to just the role of writer he could have passed off his past bad behavior as something that informed his story. As it is now it comes off as a huge vanity/ego project which becomes a hard act to stomach. Feel sorry for all the people and backers that believed in this project.

  43. PennyLane says:

    About 15 years ago, I started a medical job that included potentially high-stakes interactions with the media. As a result us newbies got a full day of media training. We were taught what to wear in a tv interview (blue is good), how to always turn the questions back to what we wanted to talk about, how to develop a simple message, etc.

    The final thing we learned that day? NEVER talk to 60 Minutes. They said that 60 Minutes is unlike any other news show in that they will chop up your interview to make it look how they want and that they refuse to take any feedback or corrections from their subjects. If they want to make you look awful, they will select bits of footage and build their segment around that to make you look really bad.

    When I saw that 60 Minutes was featuring this issue, I was confused and taken aback. How could his PR people have allowed this??? That is the one TV news show, we were taught, that if you are involved in something controversial you should NEVER do.

    Then the other shoe dropped, and I realized that his PR people most likely did this to him on purpose. Ahahahahahahah!!!!! They hate him too.

    ROFL

  44. DSA says:

    Sadly—because now I think it’s a lot more common than we think: I can understand why Sharon’s sister committed suicide (read the Variety piece). I’ve been there, there’s something about being wronged and then watching the person/people who wronged your succeed, praised as heroes/saints, nobody cares about what he did to you (and then there’s the part where you also begin feeling ‘gas-lit’ by society). It gets lonely. It’s an overwhelming frustration about life that you can’t control. You start impulsively/compulsively self-harming (I think as a survival mechanism, because then your mind focuses on a different area of pain to numb where it truly hurts but it’s too hard to process—and that’s how you’ve survived). And then you just snap and give up.

    Not even remotely surprised by the twistedness of the script… Did you know that Roman Polanski’s “Repulsion” is really about the impact of child molestation/abuse? I’ve literally been sexually harassed by a man who directed a stage adaptation of Nawal El Saadawi’s “Woman at Point Zero” (the man who translated it was also involved in a very public rape scandal). It’s hard to tell if people are just hypocrites or if they’re really just sick sadists.

    There are people who, knowing their Twitter account will get a heap of attention on a particular day (for all the wrong reasons) will post UNICEF links to bring attention to displaced children without schools… But then there are also people in this world who will use a cause like slavery (human trafficking) to win an Oscar for themselves and literally get invited to the UN for it.

    This self-serving trend of using Oscar-baity causes (slavery, the Holocaust) to further your own career needs to stop. And this trend has been going on for a while now (I’ve seen it before where others failed to recognise it). But when people misuse a cause for their own ‘glory’ or for PR, it always catches up with them. About time too. It’s time.

  45. Jag says:

    He is a pyschopath and I won’t watch anything he’s in or does.

    As for Gabrielle, she saw the script and chose to do the part. Unless they blindsided her with the rape scene, she knew what she was doing and chose to do it. Don’t feel sorry for her because she didn’t have to take the part.