Ann Coulter got the worst of it at Rob Lowe’s Comedy Central Roast

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Over the weekend, Comedy Central held and taped Rob Lowe’s official Comedy Central Roast. The roast doesn’t air until Labor Day (Monday, September 5th). I don’t even really know why Rob Lowe, of all people, gets a roast, but Comedy Central does work with the roastee, and the goal is to have a mix of genuine friends and professional comedians doing the roasts. Which is what happened here – many of Rob’s friends came out, and many of Comedy Central’s stable of professional-roasters came out too. But that didn’t explain the presence of Ann Coulter. Lowe considers himself a politico, a well-connected guy with some conservative leanings. But cozying up with Ann Coulter will leave you smelling of sulfur and desperation.

So, obviously, Coulter ended up getting the brunt of the “roast.” Which was probably the point anyway – while Rob Lowe has many faults which can be easily exploited for comedy, he’s also pretty boring. Why not go after Ann Coulter? That’s why she’s there. So here are some of the jokes/truths aimed at Coulter (warning: many of these jokes are pretty offensive):

Jeff Ross: “Ann Coulter wants to help Trump make America great again. You can start by wearing a burka. You have a face that would make doves cry. That voice, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard in an inner-city school you wanna defund. Ann’s against gay marriage. What’s your thinking on that? If I can’t get a husband they shouldn’t, either?”

Jimmy Carr: “Ann is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-face bitches alive. It’s not too late to change, Ann. You could kill yourself!”

Nikki Glaser: “Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you count Mein Kampf. Ann, you’re awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.”

Pete Davidson: “If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?”

Peyton Manning: “I just realized that I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.”

David Spade: “She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan. It looks like she’s having a good time. I haven’t seen her laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot.”

Jewel: “I do want to say as a feminist that I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight. But as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”

Ann Coulter: “I’d like to welcome everyone to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe. I’m only here for all the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and all of the talented performers tonight. It has nothing to do with the book I published four days ago.”

[From USA Today]

Pete Davidson also referred to Coulter as a “racist c—t,” which became one of the headlines. So the Daily Beast contacted Coulter after the roast to make sure she was icing all of those third-degree burns, and at first, she insisted that she’s fine. She told the Beast: “Everybody has such thin skin. Bless their hearts, they were trying to be funny.” When I read that, I felt like, “Oh, it’s probably off-brand for her to complain.” But then she did go to The Hollywood Reporter to complain about the “jokes” – go here to read the interview. She really glosses over the whole “why were you even there” thing, which I think is pretty central. Like, are these jokes inappropriate and offensive? Of course. But if you’ve seen the Comedy Central Roasts, you know that’s the point. I wouldn’t be able to handle it… which is why I would never agree to attend a roast, or be roasted.

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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77 Responses to “Ann Coulter got the worst of it at Rob Lowe’s Comedy Central Roast”

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  1. Neelyo says:

    I wonder if she has any friends. I imagine being Ann Coulter must be like living the life of Scrooge except without the ghosts who give a crap about you.

    • Trillion says:

      Neelyo FTW, yet again.

    • Dragonlady sakura says:

      😂 You win the internet today!

    • Luca76 says:

      What’s worse about her than anything else I don’t think she actually believes half of what she says. She does it for shock value and she has a lot of friendships with various people. I remember listening to an interview with Jorge Ramos (the Univision reporter that confronted Trumo) and he described how different and nice she is when the cameras are off.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        I know her and Bill Maher used to really get along. That made me think that she is more reasonable in person, and just inflammatory for “career” (sad as that may be).

  2. QueenB says:

    also very good they went after Lowe for his “video” with a 16 year old.

  3. Darkladi says:

    I wonder when her Lord Lucifer will “call her home”.

  4. Trixie says:

    David Spade’s comments were the only funny ones. The rest weren’t funny, they were just mean-spirited. Why attack someone for things they cannot help being born with like physical features? By all means attack Ann Coulter for her views, but attacking physical features isn’t funny.

    • stella in nh says:

      I agree. One doesn’t have to insult someone’s looks to get a good zinger in. Coulter certainly leaves herself open to lots of them.

    • Esmom says:

      That’s what I thought, too. Although I have to admit the scarecrow one did make me laugh a little bit. I do honestly think of her as a ghoul and her physical appearance has nothing to do with that.

    • FingerBinger says:

      Coulter attacked Fareed Zakaria for his “thick Indian accent” something he can’t help. I don’t have any sympathy for her.

      • doofus says:

        nor do I. she is such a repugnant excuse for a human that I don’t have a problem with any negative thing said about her.

      • Allie B. says:

        Agreed. She attacks people for their ethnic background all the time and smugly smiles about it. Literally the worst things I can think of could happen to this woman and I wouldn’t bat an eye lash.

      • SusanneToo says:

        Ann Coulter is a nasty piece of work and the only person who has ever moved me to employ the see you next Tuesday word. She is racist, homophobic and misogynistic. She deserves every slam she gets.

      • chaine says:

        So basically, what ya’ll are saying is that if you don’t like what a person says or what they stand for, it’s ok to be sexist towards her? I don’t see anything different between these guys attacking Ann Coulter’s looks and all of the right-wing people that attack Hillary Clinton’s looks.

      • Bryan says:

        The difference is, chaine, that Coulter herself has made a living attacking other people for their physical features whereas Clinton has not. As the saying goes, turnabout is fair play.
        Now I personally leave her looks out of it when attacking her, as she already gives us so much to work with, but it’s ridiculous to claim there’s no difference between the attacks on Coulter’s looks and the attacks on Clinton’s.

    • I Choose Me says:

      This is where I am too, sorta. I mean I think Ann Coulter is a vile human being and I despise everything she stands for but a lot of those so called jokes actually made me feel bad for her.

      Then I remember some the awful hateful things she espouses and the feeling passes.

    • Luca76 says:

      I found Nikki Glasers comments the funniest but I agree with your point as despicable as she is I’m not into sexist jokes about her looks.

    • Bridget says:

      Because what makes Coulter unattractive is her personality. It’s the smug set to her face, the venom in her eyes, and the hate that shapes her expressions. The outsides match the insides.

    • chaine says:

      If you’re actually a talented comedian, then you can find something funny to say that doesn’t involve attacking someone’s appearance.

    • Sarah says:

      I agree. There is SO much to roast her over – she can’t help having a long face. This was VERY sexist. I despise her greatly, but this was out of line and all feminists should be offended.

      • Jenny says:

        I think many on this thread may not have watched Comedy Central roasts before. Every time they go for the lowest of the lowest common denominator in their jokes. It is generally pretty cringe-worthy. I don’t know that they were any harder or more sexist against AC than the norm; the guests were probably just more enthusiastic about it.

    • HH says:

      I don’t know if I’d call these sexist in the context of a roast. These were actually just par for the course. Male celebrities that aren’t *ahem* “traditionally” attractive also get comments on their looks. Roasts in general aren’t your friends “poking fun” at you or having jokes at your expense, they are specifically about “if you can’t stand your heat, get your a$$ out the kitchen” mentality. I’ve never watched one because I suffer from second-hand embarrassment and even seeing a clip of it makes me cringe. I will say I don’t like the use of the B-word and the C-word, that was sexist to me.

  5. DarkSparkle says:

    Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. She was only there to shill for her book, (actually propping it up on the podium while she was speaking like a classless twit) and if she didn’t look into what a comedy roast entailed before signing up, she has nobody to blame but herself.

    Jewel’s comment was my favorite.

  6. Cherry says:

    Okay, so, I don’t know who Ann Coulter is (I’m not from the USA, sorry), but it would seem kinda rude to go after her and not Lowe, who was the one being roasted, you know? Especially since, hello, Rob Lowe is not “pretty boring”- he should be shamed into oblivion for that sextape with the 16-year-old-girl.

    • Neelyo says:

      I watched a few of them recently and was surprised to discover that beyond the subject, the roasts consist of insults to everyone in attendance. They’re only publicizing the Coulter jokes but I’m sure each of them made jokes about each other as well.

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Yes, the Comedy Central roasts standard is that all of the guests insult the guest of honor AND the other comedians doing the roasting. A lot of times, those are the best zingers!

        Ultimately, I think it gives the show more to work so that it is an hour long and not just 15 minutes.

    • I can't even says:

      Ann coulter is a terrible conservative commentator. Check out some of the racist, homophobic, sexist things she’s said and just try to remember that at least some of us Americans think she’s a POS and disagree w everything she says

      • Esmom says:

        As an American I concur that she is the absolute worst.

      • doofus says:

        she also makes fun of handicapped people.

        such a winner, that one. UGH.

      • mayamae says:

        Coulter has said so many repugnant things, but the one that stands out (for me), is when she said we should invade the Muslim countries, kill their leaders, and convert everyone to Christianity. How she gets away with this stuff I’ll never know.

      • Fire Rabbit says:

        Coulter lacks empathy and actually takes great delight in hurting other people. It pleases her, you can see it on her face as she does it. While my better instincts cringed at some of those comments at first, I quickly remembered things she’s said and shrugged. I wonder what some of the roasters would have said to her if they hadn’t had the burden to keep it funny?

      • Sarah says:

        I agree. Still no excuse to mock her looks. Mock her stupidity from a supposedly educated woman.

      • can't even says:

        agreed, Sarah. She’s ugly enough on the inside, so just start with that. There’s plenty to mock

    • Erinn says:

      They were going after Lowe.

      Usually the roasters have a personal tie to the person getting roasted. They’re old coworkers or friends or whatever. They go all in, and are usually pretty raunchy and incredibly rude.

      Ann doesn’t have a personal tie to Lowe. She just popped in to mention that she has a new book out – and apparently expected to be well received for whatever reason.

      Ann Coulter – just the most recent example that I can think of – defended Trump for mocking the disabled reporter.

      Her words:

      “Trump denied knowing that Serge was disabled, and demanded an apology, saying that anyone could see his imitation was of a flustered, frightened reporter, not a disabled person. It’s true that Trump was not mimicking any mannerisms that Serge has. He doesn’t jerk around or flail his arms. He’s not retarded. He sits calmly, but if you look at his wrists, you’ll see they are curved in. That’s not the imitation Trump was doing—he was doing a standard retard, waving his arms and sounding stupid: “’Ahhh, I don’t know what I said—ahhh, I don’t remember!’ He’s going, ‘Ahhh, I don’t remember, maybe that’s what I said!’”

      Standard retard. This is the kind of garbage human that Coulter is. She is terrible.

      So she goes into this roast of people who she’s not friendly with, and promotes HERSELF – and then gets attacked. Well, sorry sweetie. It sucks to get a taste of the kind of vitriol that you spew to REGULAR people after hijacking this roast as a means of self promotion.

      At the end of the day, I’m with Jewel on this topic. Some of the comments were too far – but god, I just hate Coulter so much.

      ETA: regarding the sextape – completely wrong of him to do. He deserves to get all the hate for that. But on the flipside – that happened in 1988, and I haven’t heard anything about him to imply that that behavior has continued. Ann on the other hand – has continued to exhibit horrible behavior and shows no sign of remorse, or stopping.

      • kaiko says:

        ugh, she could be a raging azz that needs to put a sock in it OR maybe she’s ADHD or ASD spectrum herself?! Her behavior/lifestyle certainly points to that: lack of empathy, no personal relationships, obsessive genius like focus on one particular topic…Nah, she’s just a raging azz…move along!

      • Esmom says:

        Yeah, no, she’s just evil. Careful with stereotyping people on the spectrum, those characteristics you list don’t even begin to cover the complexities of ASD.

      • Bridget says:

        Um, WTF? People on the spectrum aren’t sociopaths. Their brains function differently and they see and interact with the world differently, but to say that they don’t even have empathy or personal relationships? That’s so cruel and incorrect.

    • Emily says:

      I’ll try to help – Ann Coulter is exactly who all those people quoted said she is, and probably worse. If anyone could take the heat off of a guy who made a sex tape with someone underage, it might be her. She’s horrible.

    • Bridget says:

      Everyone gets roasted at these things – if you even attetnd, just expect that you’re going to get jokes and insults slung and you.

    • Linds says:

      At these Comedy Central roasts, everyone gets it, not just the Roastee. All of the attendants and comedians roast each other before they roast Rob, so Ann wasn’t the only one who was being insulted.

    • Keats says:

      Don’t apologize that you don’t know who she is, rejoice! I am truly jealous.

  7. Bridget says:

    She like Rush Limbaugh but with just a little less flop sweat.

  8. Aiobhan says:

    Jewel’s comment pretty much sums up how I feel about Ann.

    • nicole says:

      Yeah me too, she got it right.

    • lucy2 says:

      Me too. In general I think roasts are the worst, and a barrage of insults with no joke behind them just isn’t amusing to me, but in this case…couldn’t happen to a more deserving person.

      • Bridget says:

        I think they’re the worst just because they’re always the same brigade of unfunny comics and whatever motley crew of ‘celebrities’ they can muster up.

    • La Ti Da says:

      Be the change you want to see in the world, ladies. Laughing at these jokes prove you don’t actually think these attitudes about women are universally unacceptable. They’re only unacceptable when directed at a woman you happen to respect or agree with. Anyone else… its simply delightful.

  9. littlemissnaughty says:

    I’ve said this before but my main objection is that most of them went for the low-hanging fruit, attacking her looks etc. These jokes aren’t witty or smart, they attack her as a woman first, then as a racist assh*le. I’m with Jewel here. As a feminist, that makes me angry. As a human being, I can’t muster sympathy or empathy for Ann f*cking Coulter. But it is just so lazy and unnecessary. There is plenty of stuff you can sh*t on when it comes to such a terrible human being. Her looks shouldn’t be your go-to.

    And now I HATE them all for making defend Ann Coulter of all people. That’s not okay.

  10. lilacflowers says:

    Ann Coulter has committed voter fraud.

  11. Bishg says:

    I tried to watch an episode (the Roast of Justin Bieber) and couldn’t make sense of it all.
    Maybe it’s because I am not American, but the concept of a comic roast is so weird to me.
    It made me totally uncomfortable, which is weird because I should have enjoyed watching the Bieber being taken down–

    • Poisonous Lookalike says:

      I haven’t seen any of the recent ones, but I have watched much older roasts—the Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts—and some of those are really good. Lots of star power among the attendees, too. YouTube has some of them, if anyone’s interested… just search for “Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts”.

      On topic: Coulter’s roast couldn’t happen to a more deserving fitta.

  12. M.A.F. says:

    It’s Ann Coulter. If she can dish it out then she can freaking sit there and take it.

    • BunnyBear says:

      Yeah. Those roasts are pretty brutal and she’s not exactly a beloved public persona. She had to know this was coming.
      I’d like to think I would be a good sport at one of these but I’m way too sensitive. I’d probably be on the floor crying the whole time.

  13. Gabrielle says:

    Ann Coulter says so many hateful things and certainly leaves herself open to comments. But am I the only one who thinks she’s not that bad looking? I thought the only reason she had a platform was because she was known to be an attractive blond woman who then opens her mouth and says all these shocking things.

    • Esmom says:

      I’ve always thought that was part of her schtick/appeal — a woman who might seems attractive on the outside but is revealed to be beyond ugly on the inside.

  14. KBeth says:

    No sympathy, she’s a vile, hateful person.

  15. Cora says:

    So it’s okay to attack someone’s looks as long as you don’t like them? Is that what we’re saying? The misogyny inherent in these “jokes” is fine as long as they’re aimed at a bigot? It’s because I disagree with Ann’s bigoted ideas that I can’t condone the misogyny that she was targeted with. Otherwise, I would be just like her.

    • MoreSalt says:

      It’s not misogyny. She was roasted just the same as any other man on the stage. We can’t attack her looks because she’s a woman? The whole point of a roast is nothing is off limits, unless the roastee specifically asks. (Joan Rivers said no jokes about her daughter, for example.) It’s cheap, and better comedians didn’t go for the low fruit, but it’s certainly not misogyny. If you go on a roast, you should expect to get roasted, and that is what happened. Joan Rivers was roasted. Pam Anderson was roasted. Do you think there weren’t jokes about appearances? It’s not because they’re women. It’s because it’s a roast.

      Such a prolific author should know how important research is before a public appearance, you’d think, so she’d know to avoid the roast if she’s so thinned skinned. But she wants headlines. So she agreed, stumped her book, and is now complaining about being bullied.

    • Allie B. says:

      Yes, it is ok. I am not going to tell black women, black men, gay men and women, Muslims, Latinos, Asians, or any other person impacted by the hateful propaganda she spews that we are committing some grave disservice to all women by laughing at jokes directed at this piece of garbage. It is nice to come from a place of privilege where it’s all about staying in the lines, but to be a part of the class that is consistently critiqued and oppressed, there are more important things to worry about than this woman being called horse face.

  16. Riley says:

    Even for someone I hate, those “comedians” were pretty rough! There’s so many things to criticize her on without going after her looks.

  17. QQ says:

    Behold! In my pinkie, a tiny ant plays a non audible tinsy Violin, for Anne Coulter and her possible hurt feefees ( I say Possible cause I don’t believe this one has the capacity for feelings/embarrassment/self reflection/ compassion/sense of Occasion/)

    NVM I just crushed the Ant Violin Solo.. F*ck this lady ( also the “Who is Watching Over Our Crops” absolutely took me out)

    • Bridget says:

      Don’t worry, Ann Coulter doesn’t have feelings. I think her venom glands somehow cut off their development.

  18. shannon says:

    I cannot stand her. And I enjoy attacks on her views, but the ones that are just sexist bother me. What’s to keep someone from making those same comments about me – and my views are polar opposite of hers – because I’m a woman. It’s basically stooping to Trump level, and the level feminists are often accused of (i.e. OH, you don’t care if someone makes fun of a woman you don’t agree with for her looks/marital status). Keep it on topic. What she looks like or her ability to “get” a husband are immaterial; let’s just focus on the fact that she’s a rampant bitch. Would her being married or being prettier fix that? No. Then move on from that imo.
    Also, I don’t like that a roast for a man with a sex-tape of an underage girl turns into a roast for a woman who didn’t show up as the roastee. I can’t believe I’m defending her (ugh, I loathe her) I’m just really bothered by the blatant sexism here and some people turning a blind eye to *that* aspect of it, like, “Oh, it’s THAT woman, so who cares? She’s not even pretty.” I think she’s abhorrent, but I think she was made more of a target than the actual roastee, who is male.

  19. Deeana says:

    I can’t stand Ann Coulter’s views.

    But from an objective standpoint she is not an ugly woman. Yes, she is tall and skinny and has a long face. But so do many other women. She has beautiful hair, nice teeth, does her makeup well and dresses nicely.

    None of the above makes me like her views any better.

  20. WendyNerd says:

    What WAS she doing there? Did someone say her name to a mirror three times?

  21. mayamae says:

    I can’t stand this vicious hate-monger, BUT, it’s interesting that they went after her in a way that men often do to take down women. They attacked her looks, called her a bitch, and stated she was only single because she can’t get a man to marry her. I’m only surprised they didn’t call her a lesbian.

    I think this woman says horrific things, I think she’s lacking a soul, but the roast makes me a little uncomfortable. But, I have to believe she knew what to expect, and still attended because she’s an attention hungry famewhore.

    • perplexed says:

      “and stated she was only single because she can’t get a man to marry her.”

      In her case, I suspect this is the truth.

  22. Kate says:

    A lot of the comments were sexist, but also very in line with Coulter’s own comments about women she dislikes.

    And she is ugly, not because of her features (years ago she was actually considered very attractive; it was a major selling point for her), but because the decades of being a cruel, hateful monster really and truly shows on her face.

  23. MoreSalt says:

    So for research and because booze, watching the James Franco roast. Some quotes – to illustrate that Ann was treated no differently than any other roaster. It’s really nothing off limits.

    “Sarah (Silverman) people say it’s too late to become successful at your age… I say it’s not. It’s not like they’re asking you to bear children. Because you can’t, hahaha!” -Jonah Hill

    “Before the program started, Seth (Rogan) rolled a giant fatty… because that’s the only way we could get Jonah Hill on stage…[...] by the way Anziz can’t stay long, he has to get back in the cupboard.” -Sarah Silverman

    “Bill Hader, you are this generation’s Phil Hartman…. hopefully. [...] Aziz is only in show business because he’s too ugly to be a genie. Hey Aziz, my third wish is that you’d stop yelling your punchlines. If I wanted to get yelled at by a humorless Indian, I’d read a magazine at 7-11.” -Natasha Leggero

    “James Franco’s d*ck is so small, I had to suck it for three hours before it got hard.” -Andy Samburg

    “I do think that that one day Jonah will win an Oscar… Meyer… Hot Dog Eater of the Millenium Award.” -Aziz Ansari

    “Sarah [...] guys Wreck it… then they Ralph. Franco… does anyone tell you you look like Johnny Depp with Lupus? ” -Jeff Ross

    This may get caught in the comment filter, but I’m just trying to point out that she was not bullied, she was not harassed, she was not viciously attacked…. she signed up to participate in a roast. This is what happens. I feel like many of the commenters don’t know how a roast works. Not a shred of sympathy is warrented. This is a gloves-off setting, and if your bread and butter is being an instigator and vitriolic troll, you should flourish here. She floundered and failed. She can dish it but can’t take it.

    And if people were extra mean, because she’s generally a hateful and mean person, it’s still not sexist or mysogynistic. She signed up for it. Sorry notsorry you reap what you sow.

  24. NeoCleo says:

    The roast probably helped sell that piece of excrement she wrote.