Gwyneth Paltrow thinks she got a ‘massive software upgrade’ at 40

goop red

First of all, the Red Mag styling team and Photoshop team deserves a slow clap for their editorial of Gwyneth Paltrow. This is the best Gwyneth has looked on a magazine cover in a while. It helps that they fluffed up her hair. It also helped that they Photoshopped the crap out of her skin to the point where she looks like a dewy 20-year-old Princess Diana. Anyway, Gwyneth is promoting her latest cookbook, but you wouldn’t exactly know that from her Red interview. She spends most of the interview talking about Chris Martin and how he’s like a brother to her, which is something she’s said before and I always find it creepy. Chris is the father of her children, her ex-husband, her best friend… all of that is fine. But don’t say he’s like a brother! Here are some highlights from the interview:

On Chris Martin: “I think that I’m very lucky in that I have such a willing partner in agreeing with, and teaching me, as much as I taught him. And bringing to me, as much as I brought to him, ideas about how to do it in a really gentle way, so it would be really gentle for Chris and myself. We loved each other very much, and we still do love each other, and we have these two beautiful children together. I thought, ‘I wonder if there’s a way where we don’t have to do that to our kids and we can just carry on having family dinners.’”

Goop plays with the timeline of her split: “We had broken up a year before we announced it, so we would have this time to work through everything. It’s also almost about having to press the ‘override’ button whenever you feel angry or jealous or whatever, broken-hearted. You have to press the button: I’m going back to the baseline of ‘I love this person, he’s the father of my children, he’s a wonderful man. I’m just going to put my s–t aside for right now.’ It really has not been easy for me at times; I’m sure it’s not been easy for him.”

Putting the kids first: “When we said we’re going to put the children first, we meant [it]. If you want to put your children first then why are you slagging your husband off in front of them? So we really tried, [and] that meant, ‘I’m gonna check my s–t at the door, and I’m going to focus on all the reasons that I love you, that you’re like my brother and my family forever and we’ll deal with that stuff another time.’ It’s not always easy, but it’s just the way we wanted to try to do it. I have to say it wasn’t the outcome we were hoping for, but it was our outcome and we’ve really done the best that we can.”

What it’s like to be 43 years old: “At 40, my life changed so much. I think every woman around that time gets this massive software upgrade. You’re just different. You’re upgraded. For me, there were just a bunch of changes I had to make to really be true to myself and really live my happiness. And you have to be brave and make the choice to do that, to truly accept yourself and love yourself and really forgive yourself for your missteps. So, it’s been a long interesting road to get to the place where I feel really content and that I really know myself and like myself. I wish they could teach girls to do this when they are 16 instead of 40, but that’s part of life.”

[From E! News]

While I roll my eyes at a lot of what the Lifestyle Blondes have to say about health, beauty and aging, I do appreciate the fact that they are increasing the positivity around the 40-year marker. Even now, there are so many people in Hollywood and beyond who believe that a woman is completely useless/unmarketable/not-sexy after the age of 40. While I can’t speak to the “massive software upgrade” one gets at 40 (40 is still several years away for me), I can tell you that I don’t feel upgraded. Yet. Maybe it will come.

As for Gwyneth playing with the timeline of her split… eh, it’s convenient to say that now. It’s a way to explain her affair with Brad Falchuk and it’s a way to explain Chris’s wandering eye and rumored affairs.

goop2

Photos courtesy of Red.

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79 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow thinks she got a ‘massive software upgrade’ at 40”

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  1. Monie says:

    Agreed, the ‘shop is STRONG on this one.

    • Birdix says:

      Doesn’t she have freckles? And I just started watching game of thrones (season 1) so I haven’t seen much of them yet, but she looks a bit like a white walker in that top pic, with those light blue eyes in that death glare…

      • annaloo. says:

        She totally does look like a White Walker here, now that you’ve mentioned it.

        The acid washed denim does not help.

      • TheCassinator says:

        I agree, she does look like a White Walker. That or a fem bot or a Stepford Wife. Too glassy eyed, vacant, and “yes dear.”

  2. Mgsota says:

    I was in Barnes and Noble recently and saw her new book up close. I CAN NOT BELIEVE she ok’d that picture. Her hair is horrendous!!! Fried, dry, frizzy and ratty. I don’t get it!!

    • Erinn says:

      I don’t understand why she doesn’t go for that loose wavy style more often. It’s soooo much more flattering than her crazy straight usual style.

    • Esmom says:

      Do you think she approved that cover to seem more “relatable?” It’s the only explanation I can think of.

  3. UCatwoman says:

    I want to buy this woman some VO5 hot oil and take the stick out of her ass. That would be an upgrade.

  4. Sammy says:

    I have a feeling she got rid of Chris when she found another jump-off. I still would like to know the situation between falchuck and his x

    • Mrs. Wellen-Mellon says:

      Superwoman has transcended your silly human frailties of jealousy and aging. Superwoman is here to teach humans how to pay cash money to try – and inevitably fail since humans are not Super – to be like Her.

    • annaloo. says:

      No , no.. her privacy is still her commodity. THis quote from a BBC interview in 2004:

      “You protect you privacy. Do you think it’s less interesting to watch actresses that are so overexposed by the media?

      Yes, I think when people talk too much about who they are, and give the world access to every single thing – what kind of face cream they use, what they cook for dinner, and what nicknames they have for their significant others – that’s all you can think about when you see them. There’s no mystery. I think it’s a shame, because it’s great when you see somebody with mystery act, because you think they’re capable of anything.”

      • mp says:

        lol thanks for this annaloo. I’m sure the next quote will be that great actors can transcend this kind of thing. how did she ever win an Oscar?

      • Vesta says:

        That’s an excellent quote find! But to be fair, GP is not an actress anymore.
        She upgraded, and is a professional vag steaming lifestyle guru nowadays.

      • annaloo. says:

        @mp – She got that Oscar by Hollywood politics!

        @Vesta – I still think if she played Karen Carpenter, it would work. Her public image seems a perfect mesh for the believabilty factor too.

      • SilkyMalice says:

        The mystery Gwenyth still possesses for me is whether or not she actually has a brain. The more I read her spouting the less sure I am about it’s existence. Very mysterious indeed!

  5. Jayna says:

    It’s a lot easier to break up when you have your boyfriend already on the sidelines waiting, having left his wife also. I believe they had been separated for a year before announcing. It’s why she calls him a brother, because she’s been madly in love with another man for years and had her wonderful new love already happening.

    What I find comical is that she now talks ad nauseum about Chris, but the real man in her life she never mentions. Thus, we never get a full story of her life, ever.

    And Chris said recently the first year of their separation he went into a depression and his friends were worried about him.

    • lisa2 says:

      She is always talking about the other men in her life more than the one she is with. She and Chris spent so much time trying to avoid being seen together. I always say that kind of reaction to media is not going to work. She has said more about Ben and Brad then she has about Chris (when they were married) or the new Brad. She is always talking about Chris now. Strange really.

      • Jayna says:

        I find it strange also.

        But I do think it’s great that she and Chris are showing their children love as a family is still there, even though in a changed format. But she never talked about Chris this much before until it looked like there was trouble in the marriage.

        And she has a whole life with another man, and she is all about her life but he is not mentioned. It’s not that I think it’s a bad thing, I just feel her narrative about her life in interviews leaves out a big chunk of her happiness, that is being in love with someone else.

    • Rhiley says:

      Do you think that if she were to start talking about him in public and to the press, then dirt might be dug up on them? She had an affair no doubt but she doesn’t want us to talk about that.

  6. suzanne says:

    I wish they would have just unplugged her instead.

  7. perplexed says:

    She has good bone structure….but her hair — I don’t get it.

    • Lirko says:

      I always think she’s trying to go for a Bridgette Bardot thing w/her hair (not that it is working). But I do think it looks better here, not as fried w/the scraggly ends, you know?

    • Stacey says:

      She has eleven hairs on her entire head. There isn’t much you can do with pin straight hair that is that thin, that bleached, and that fried. She’s not a fake hair kind of person.

    • Kitten says:

      Has she never heard of Olaplex? If you’re going to bleach it like this then you cannot straighten and style it all the time. You have to be ok with pulling it back of letting it air-dry frequently.

      I apologize for repeating myself (I’ve talked about it many times here) but I used to be VERY light champagne blonde and my hair wasn’t that much better than hers. It only started to recover when I stopped washing (thereby stripping my hair) and heat-styling it constantly.

  8. lisa2 says:

    Most marriages end way before the outside world knows about it. But I think she is playing with the timeline. I think she and Chris both had checked out a long time ago and both or one of them was having outside relationships.
    I think it is wonderful to come to a point in your life when you know who you are. It takes time. But to find that place and be happy when you get there must be amazing.

    I still think she talks out of both sides of her mouth. But hey if she and Chris are happy and doing the best they can.. well it’s their life. The both seem happy to be out of the marriage to me.

  9. lilacflowers says:

    Are we sure those aren’t pictures of Blythe?

  10. Jen says:

    I’m tired of wealthy women saying how great 40 is! I’m 46 and, sorry, the 40s SUCK! I don’t want to embrace the changes and I don’t have the $ to combat them.

    • Lirko says:

      Yep, I imagine 40 (and beyond) is a different ballgame altogether w/o a plastic surgeon, dermatologist, etc on speedial!

    • jugil1 says:

      @ Jen -Oh man do I hear you sister! I’m 44 & unless you have the $$$$ to turn back the hands of time, you are out of luck. So true & finally glad someone said it!

    • Kitten says:

      LOL..You guys suck! I’m 37 and I like hearing that 40s are not terrible.

    • Laura-j says:

      I have to disagree. I’m 45, and while I’m not always pleased with gravity’s effects. I’m generally a happier, smarter, more fun, stable person. I know what I like and who I am and I finally have the money to do more things for myself… And I have yet to go under the knife, fillers whatever. Way better than being dead and pretty. :)

    • Esmom says:

      Hmm. I’m closer to 50 than 40 now and I have to say I have no real complaints, other than the harrowing stress that comes with raising teens, one of whom is on the autism spectrum. The effects of aging aren’t too apparent on the surface just yet…I think it’s because I spend a fair amount of time working out. And also eating right. No magic formula.

    • lskfjsld says:

      I know a lot of people who look great in their 40s. Women really shouldn’t make getting older such a bad thing. Also at 46 if you get the right treatment you won’t have to pay as much. I know people who got face lifts and you would never know it. Sometimes that is better than wasting money on thermage or what not.

  11. LadyJane says:

    In the run up to turning 40 this year, I kept trying to tell myself it was ‘no biggie’. But 40 IS a big deal, in a good way. I relate to the ‘I have arrived’ feeling Goopy is spouting here. And it feels really good being 40. I wouldn’t trade being 21 again for anything. But I do want my 21 yr old skin back please.

    • Lurker says:

      Same here. I turn 40 in July. I don’t “feel” 40 at all on the inside, but I am okay with the number. At this age, I seriously have no effs to give. All the insecurities of my 20s are long gone, I know who I am and what I want, and I just get on with it. No time for drama-rama.

    • Little Darling says:

      Cheers to my fellow 40s!

    • Rhiley says:

      I just turned 40 myself and it wasn’t that big of deal. I am in a great relationship, and happily I do not have kids and I do not want them, so that gives me a little more freedom. I don’t drink or smoke like I did in my 20s (quit smoking almost 20 years ago, but didn’t quit drinking to about 3 years ago). I will admit, my body doesn’t quite bounce back from a strenuous workout like it used to, and you will not catch me at a concert on a weeknight, but all in all it isn’t bad, I think because I have somebody that I share my life with. Professionally speaking, I still haven’t hit my stride, but I work in my chosen field, and I work hard (when I am not reading Celebitchy, of course (I am a multitasker)), and for this I am proud.

    • Kitten says:

      Thank you guys! I needed this after the comments directly above lol.

  12. ItDoesntReallyMatter says:

    I do love what she said about how life changes in your 40′s. I am in my mid-40′s and was just telling my husband I have never been happier. I feel great (I eat well and walk all the time) and I don’t worry about what other people think about me anymore. And I am not rich and I am fine with that. ;-)

    There is this feeling of contentment and peace that comes with simply enjoying life and not worrying about what you are going to do “when you grow up”.

  13. Tiger says:

    I think it’s just good lighting and makeup, I see no photoshop. She looks great!

  14. Little Darling says:

    I just turned 40 in January, and I have to say I kind of agree with her. (Waits for lightening to strike me down for agreeing with Goop!)

    Seriously though, I feel like my 30s were full of this struggle to be assertive, and find my career path, my path beyond my children. I did so much internal and external overhauling that by the time I hit 40, I was like HELL YEAH! Finally an age that has grit. An age where multiple people have said they really grew into their own power.

    I don’t love perimenopause, chin hair, arthritis, grey hairs and hormonal acne. (:

    But as far as skin and diet and embracing my physical changes, I’ve never felt more myself or more beautiful. And yes, gravity is working. But it feels like a badge of honor, life growth in the form of an ever changing body. There is so much to love my body for, I’m okay with some signs of the life it’s led. I definitely think eating clean and drinking water are two skin savers, beyond loads of sunscreen.

    The best part about 40? Is when I say I don’t care, I usually mean it!

    • ItDoesntReallyMatter says:

      Little Darling ++++100%! I wrote the same thing above. 40′s are the best and I even have come to embrace and love my many flaws.

    • Lirko says:

      Brava!

    • Green Is Good says:

      Little Darling; framing hormonal ACNE. I hate it!!! I’d like to have ONE goddamn day I didn’t have ACNE. And store bought shit doesn’t work!

      • Little Darling says:

        green: the horomonal acne was/is brutal.
        Mostly on my chin, I’ve taken to oil cleansing after a warm washcloth. The mixture of oil I use is castor, tea tree, and then a carrier oil like grapeseed, jojoba etc. I use witch hazel as an astringent. I also SWEAR by trader joes brand tea tree oil face pads (like oxy pads but better). One week of their awesomeness I noticed my skin looked brighter. Three times a week I honey mask my face with raw organic honey, which eats away at that dead skin on top and it also has antibacterial qualities to it. One a month I use Aztec clay mask with apple cider vinegar. When I am having a bigger breakout I might use ACV and diluted tea tree oil more than usual.

        Google any of the remedies above and there is loads of info!

      • Harryg says:

        Pantothenic acid (Swansons is good) and Aztec Secret clay help a lot. And Vilantae works really well.

    • Jh says:

      Yep. I’m right there with you.

      • LadyoftheLoch says:

        Littledarling: Tea tree oil is a Godsend for those uninvited pesky zits that pop up out of nowhere, as is frankincense oil. A mixture of the two in a carrier such as avocado or almond oil dries those buggers up fast. Drugstore and prescription preparations seem to have the unfortunate side effect of angrifying (sorry if I just made that word up) the surrounding skin, making it blotchy and miserable. A tiny dab of the frankincense/tea tree mixture on each zitty eruption saved my sanity during the hormonal hell of my early to mid forties.

        Harryg: I’ve heard great things about the Aztec clay, and now I’m off to google pantothenic acid’s benefits, as you have me intrigued. Ditto Vilantae.

      • Little Darling says:

        @lady thank YOU!!! I have all of those on hand and will try it out.

  15. Emilee says:

    I do admire that she’s never said one snarky or disparaging thing about Chris in the press. Others could learn from her example.

  16. Greenieweenie says:

    I’m 4 years away from 40 and I feel an upgrade coming. Teen years were awful; 20s were so hard but better than my teens; 30s were ROUGH but resolved some major issues from my 20s and….reallllly looking forward to my 40s. Those are going to be some good years. Even if you get a late start on your career, the stress of the first career decade and the havoc it wreaked on your life is usually over by your mid-30s and that kinda frees you up in so many ways.

    ETA: I kinda believe her timeline of the split because they bounced back hard and fast from her conscious uncoupling announcement. You saw them hanging out plenty after that and looking happy enough, so I think she probably went through the hardest period beforehand when you’re focused on emotionally detaching and that sort of thing.

  17. Green Is Good says:

    Her ‘shopped eyes on the cover are scaring me. Looks like a White Walker.

  18. Rhiley says:

    I don’t agree with her referring to Chris as her brother- that is extremely weird- but I do appreciate how she talks about him, and it does seem they do put their children before any negativity they may feel for each other. Bethenny Frankel churns my insides for many reasons, but the thing I dislike the most about her, is the unbecoming way she bashes her child’s father to the media. It is one negative remark after another and how she put up with so much and blah blah blah. She pulled the plug on that mess when the ratings dropped. So while I did laugh when I was reading how Gwen and Chris do it to each other in a really gentle way (uh?), I pat for keeping things positive and reassuring their children that they have a great dad.

    • Nat says:

      I take her referring to him as a ‘brother’ as a concise way of explaining how he is a member of her family, a part of her & her children, this guy that’s going to be around on holidays, who may or may not be living his life in a way that she would choose, but . . . he’s her brother, what is she going to do? He’s an idiot sometimes. & sometimes she thinks ‘wow! THAT’S my brother!’ Accept the things you cannot change. Change the things you can. Wisdom to know the difference. That kind of thing.

  19. BeachBelle says:

    I’d like to see her try a pixie cut or the grown out version of one. The center part is too severe. There’s just an awful lot of ‘try’ in this woman who wants to appear effortless. Can we ask her about what she thought of Lemonade since she’s such close pals with J and Bey?

  20. Greenieweenie says:

    She did, ca 1997 or so…post Sliding Doors haircut grow out. She had a fringe too.

  21. Harryg says:

    I get Red mag and I like it, but they have to mention Paltrow fifty times/issue. And I feel like she’s on every cover too.

  22. Starkiller says:

    “Slagging off”? I see Goop is still trying to be British. I wonder if she still speaks in the fake accent as well?

  23. Magnoliarose says:

    This is the one area I wish I could be more like her. The High Holidays bring out the saddest feelings about my separation but I can’t co parent like she does because there is no acceptance on both sides. A lot of hurt that I’m dealing with but he won’t allow us to get to a better place because he won’t let go.
    I can’t shade her on her timeline. He cheated a lot and by the end they probably were emotionally separated already.

    • BearcatLawyer says:

      @Magnoliarose – having been through a divorce where there was (and still is) a lot of hurt on both sides but fortunately no children to co-parent, I kind of know how you feel. But I also feel like I should give you some free 42 year old, been to hell and back several times, potentially useful advice.

      You do not have to condone or accept another person’s bad behaviour. You can only control your own. Dealing with your own hurt – ideally with a competent therapist – is an admirable and worthwhile task, and you will NEVER regret anything you do to help yourself feel better. You CAN get to a better place, a place where it simply does not matter how your ex feels, how he acts, or if he does not want to “let go.”

      While I have no children, I am a lawyer who has did some child welfare work early in my career. My ex is a child and adolescent psychiatrist and we used to share an office suite. If there is one thing I learned from interacting with children and in nearly 13 years of marriage to him, it is that children see, hear, and understand a hell of a lot more than you realize. Younger children may not be able to fully articulate everything they internalize from observing their parents, but when they hit the teenage years – WATCH OUT. Then these kids suddenly can and will call their parents out (usually rightfully so, IMHO) for all the BS.

      The BEST things you can do for your children are to take the high road and be a loving, committed, responsible mother. Continue to attempt to co-parent with your ex, but keep the fighting to the lawyers’ offices and courtroom – minimize conflict around the kids. After all, it is not their fault your marriage ended. If he continues to refuse to be a willing co-parent, your only response should be something along the lines of, “Well, I am sorry you feel the way you do. But this is not about your feelings; cooperating with me is in the best interests of our children.” If your ex turns cruel or obstinate, simply keep reiterating to him the actions you would prefer to engage in (e.g., “The kids should be able to see both of us on Rosh Hashanah. Let’s look at our calendars and work out a schedule.”) and whatever you do, do NOT lash back in anger or frustration at him. Sometimes the most unnerving thing you can do to someone who will not let go is to disengage yourself. It’s called tug of WAR because both sides are pulling, but the game is not very fun if one side drops the rope and walks away.

      Mind you, constantly having to be the mature adult and diligent co-parent gets tough at times. Blow off your steam privately or with your trusted friends or therapist . Do not let loose in front of the kids! You never want to make them feel as if your problems with your ex are their fault or would magically disappear if you two had not had kids. If they ask you questions about your ex’s bad behaviors or his treatment of you, you should answer them reasonably honestly but gently. For example, “I know you are disappointed that you will be at your dad’s so we cannot spend Rosh Hashanah together. I am sad too, but I love you and will be thinking about you all day. Just like your father loves you which is why he wants to spend as much time as possible with you. Maybe next year we can try to work out a better schedule so everyone will be happier.” Again, kids understand and remember a LOT more than you think. They will see that you are consistently trying to do things to benefit their relationships with both you and their dad and that you are not lashing out or mistreating him. They will see that you routinely try to work out solutions – even if you are ultimately unsuccessful in implementing them – instead of causing more drama. You can set a very good example for them of how one deals with conflict and challenging people.

      You may never be able to co-parent like GP (although please keep in mind that we have no idea about their real co-parenting relationship, only what we see in the media), but you CAN still be a great mother who does the right things for her children. You will never regret being the bigger person, but based on what I saw in my ex’s office over the years, people dearly rue being petty, selfish, nasty, manipulative, etc. when they finally realize how deeply it hurts their kids…and how long-lasting those effects are.

      I hope you take my ranting herein in the spirit it was intended, namely to encourage you to continue to try to co-parent and move onward and upward. Divorce sucks, but two years on, I can say it gets better. It just takes time and hard work! Good luck to you always.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        Thank you for the thoughtful words. I needed them today.
        He knows my weakest spots and isn’t afraid to use them against me. Namely our children. Today they were so happy to see him and jumping all over him and I felt like an evil bad mother. They ask questions all of the time and I never feel like my answers are good enough especially for my oldest. She internalizes it the most. Maybe because she’s beginning her studies and he’s much more knowledgeable than I am and likes his help more than mine.
        He grew up more observant and I was lapsed but we found a progressive balance that works, but he uses it against me.
        He has a way of provoking and guilting that seems innocent to other people but I know exactly what he’s doing. It takes huge restraint on my part not to lash out. He will say to them how much he misses them and wishes he could come home. Things like that and I have not always been able to be the bigger person like she claims to be. Then it’s turned around and I’m the bad guy and I feel guilty.
        You are right about seeking counseling because my friends and family are supportive but I need an objective voice. I don’t like to wear them out or make them so angry that when he’s around they don’t make a already awkward situation worse.
        I hear you about children knowing and they show it in ways that only small children use to show they are feeling tension. My four year old now has 2 imaginary friends
        instead of one and gets very mad if they aren’t acknowledged properly. I get differing opinions about it but I don’t try to act llke they aren’t real. Still, I’m concerned about the timing.

        Thank you again. Sometimes words from an unlikely source get through better than the ones from those closest to you. I hear you and agree. I have to find a better plan. I don’t feel like mine is working. It’s true it could be total exaggerations on her part. Usually I take celebrities with large grains of salt but this hit a nerve.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        Just wanted to add I hope by Rosh Hashana things are better. It will be the first apart just like this holiday has been. I’ve been dreading it though it’s months away. It’s a goal! :)

    • The Original G says:

      >>>>Hugs Magnoliarose <<<<<

  24. Susie 1of 3 says:

    Too bad GP’s hair isn’t that color. Looks nice on whoever it is in the picture. Are there awards for Photoshopping in the magazine industry? If so, here’s a winner!

  25. AnotherDirtyMartini says:

    They really truly did photoshop the crap out of her. It doesn’t even look like her. Jeebus…

  26. Ange says:

    “My God! It’s full of Spooks”
    …….

  27. Nimbolicious says:

    The only thing massive here seems to be her ego. Not an attractive quality.