Doctors: Pope Francis has gotten fat, he’s being put on a low-carb diet

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Pope Francis has a chunk butt, much like Chris Evans (sorry Bedhead). I don’t know how we got to this place, where we’re doing body criticism on the Pope, but here we are. The Pope isn’t bikini-ready for spring break in Daytona. He never fits into the sample sizes. Us Weekly is about to do a scathing exposé on his gluttonous diva demands. People Magazine wants his recipe for slutty brownies. In all seriousness, since Pope Francis moved to the Vatican, it seems he’s been enjoying the Italian cuisine a bit too much. His doctors are worried about how much weight he’s put on in the past few years, so they’ve put him on a diet. Poor Franny!

Pope Francis is getting fat, you guys. Apparently his weight gain has become increasingly apparent, so Vatican doctors have warned the religious leader to lay off the pasta, according to The Telegraph. The 78-year-old Argentinian seems to have taken a liking to spaghetti and ravioli, specifically. The Vatican revealed that the Pope needs to adopt a more “disciplined” regimen, including exercising more to combat the stress of his job.

The pontiff has been told he can eat his favorite meal only twice a week, which should hopefully satiate his cravings. Although, as pasta lovers ourselves, we don’t blame the guy for wanting a plate or two (or three or four or five) of the Italian deliciousness, but with a job like his, we can’t imagine the stress he’s under.

Pope Francis already only has one functional lung, so doctors are trying to keep him in the best shape possible given the circumstances. The religious leader takes no holidays or any other forms of time off. Doctors are also being extra precautious because the pontiff recently had some sort of premonition where he felt he wouldn’t last that much longer in the papacy.

“I have the feeling that my pontificate will be brief: four or five years, even two or three. Two have already passed,” he said, per MSN. “It is a somewhat strange sensation. Maybe it’s like the psychology of the gambler who convinces himself he will lose so he won’t be disappointed and if he wins, is happy.”

[From E! News]

Poor dude. I mean, he’s 78 years old! It’s a little bit late in the game to try to develop healthier eating patterns. And it sort of sounds like Francis is a stress-eater. It happens. He’s responsible for the souls of more than a billion Catholics. That would be enough to get any of us to stress-eat endless bowls of pasta too, you know? I say let him have his pasta, but yes, make him get a bit more exercise. And maybe get him some Lipitor.

Francis also recently complained about missing his pre-papacy lifestyle, when he could just take a walk outside and go pick up a pizza. Some lovely pizza-makers heard about it and they hand-delivered a pizza to Francis while he was riding in his Pope-mobile – go here to see the video. I like Francis so much – he actually seems like a decent guy, like a small-town priest who loves to eat ice cream and play soccer with the kids.

Here’s the new waxwork Pope Francis at the Grevin Wax Museum in France. WAX DEMON POPE!

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Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

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38 Responses to “Doctors: Pope Francis has gotten fat, he’s being put on a low-carb diet”

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  1. mia girl says:

    Tsk tsk.
    Fat shaming the Pope… and on Good Friday no less.

    PS I’m a stress eater too. Popes, they are just like us!

    • Brin says:

      Is nothing sacred!

    • BangersandMash says:

      Tell ‘em Mia..

      Good Friday?? Really??

      You go ahead and eat that whole box of chocolates I sent too you, Pope Franz!!!

      And shame on all of you for fat shaming my Franny!!! Ok, so lent didn’t go so well for him, so what??
      He is a STRESS EATER… people. Pick on someone else!!

    • Chibichichai says:

      +1

      Dear tabloids,

      We know you have no soul but out of respect (a tall order I know) of religious traditions (it is a high holy day), report on something else and leave the guy alone. This is akin to calling your grandmother fat and putting her on a diet.

    • Abbott says:

      Right? It’s like* talking crap about greasy ponytails on Steven Seagal’s birthday.

      *nothing like

    • Kori says:

      Lol +1000

    • Sarah says:

      @ mia girl. My thoughts exactly. It is not nice to fat shame the Pope! Give the man a break. Whatever happened to being spiritually beautiful inside?! I think he’s great even if he is a little pudgy (like me).

  2. johio says:

    That wax work … it’s Buddy Christ from Dogma!

  3. Green Is Good says:

    Team Chubby Pope. Let him some pleasures!

  4. BangersandMash says:

    Dear Pope Francis

    What??
    I’m gonna be on a diet!!!
    I too, Papal, was *cheating my ass off* in lent…
    At least I have a comrade who understands how hard lent is… But big ups for being on a diet and being open about it, and just being honest. That’s the stuff I love about you, you’re real.
    Ok, so what if we stepped aside one time or two this lent. We are gonna get real serious now.
    And I look forward too that!!!

    Love
    Bangers

  5. aims says:

    Out of all the recent popes, he’s the best IMO. He’s what they needed and I like him very much. I want him to stick around a while, and take care of himself. I’m not Catholic, but I appreciate him.

  6. Dońt kill me i'm french says:

    The sin of greed

    • jen2 says:

      Gluttony maybe? But he does indeed have a high stress job and snacking might be his way of de-stressing, especially if you have fresh pasta and authentic pizza as your snacks of choice.

    • BangersandMash says:

      Don’t you talk about my Beyonce!!! That is MY Beyonce. go get your own Beyonce and stop hating on mine!!!

      MOVE ON!!!!

  7. MediaMaven says:

    He’s gotta stay out of the Olive Garden in Rome – endless bowls of pasta and breadsticks? Hellloooooooooooo!!!!!!! :)

    • PunkyMomma says:

      Oh that’s so bad it’s brilliant, MediaMaven – Olive Garden in Rome – talk about blasphemy! 😘

      • MediaMaven says:

        it’s ok – I’m a lapsed Catholic (12 of my formative years spent in a Catholic school uniform). I know I’m going to Hades anyway……….hope they have an Olive Garden!

  8. Jen43 says:

    Haha. Does he not fast for Lent? I thought good Catholics weren’t supposed to eat between meals during Lent. That’s what the nuns told us.

    • paranormalgirl says:

      Fasting and abstinence on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Abstinence from meat on Fridays. Otherwise, no other fasting required.

    • Enui says:

      And to add on to paranormalgirl’s post, fasting is not a requirement for those over the age of 59 (or under 18, pregnant, breast feeding moms or those who can’t because of medical conditions).

  9. Aye says:

    Taking a liking for pasta? Taking a liking for pasta? HE’S ARGENTINIAN AND HIS LAST NAME IS BERGOGLIO!! Seriously, pick ANY random argentinian and any of them will know more about pasta than freaking Giada De Laurentiis (that’s saying something). Typical journalist trying to be all clever without fact-checking that Greater Buenos Aires could technically be the largest Italian city, tied with NYC.
    The only surprise here is that the pope isn’t trying out Italian salads, because if there’s one thing that Argentinians do not believe in is in salads, as a main course rather than a side.

  10. Beatrice says:

    If I moved to Italy with all the delicious food, I’d put on lots of weight, too. That aside, you’d think when someone hits 78, it would be license to eat whatever he wanted.

  11. Murphy says:

    I will cry for days when he dies and I’m not even Catholic. He’s the Best.

  12. Abby says:

    I read a biography about him, and in Argentina he would walk for hours to meet people in the streets and especially poverty stricken areas. I think he got a LOT of exercise that way and security can’t allow it nowadays. Also, his parents immigrated to Argentina from Italy, so he probably has a taste for pizza in his blood. ;)

  13. Lisa says:

    In a few months, he’ll have gone from Chris Evans to Chris Pratt.

  14. Twink says:

    I don’t know why people think he’s so cool and different, he still criticized gay marriage as a threat to families earlier this year, backed a ban on contraception, etc. and I’m originally form a catholic country.

  15. CH2 says:

    noooooooooooo! not the pope!!… stay healthy pope. We need you.

  16. Lucy says:

    Doesn’t shock me, and frankly I don’t understand why it shocks everyone else. Us Argentinians do love ourselves some good food. Meat, Pasta (which btw I’m sure he has liked all his life), Pizza, you name it.

  17. Grace says:

    That sucks to be in Italy and not be able to eat pasta. Poor little Pope. Now I want pizza.

  18. MediaMaven says:

    He should repurpose Eva Mendes’ advice and move from the stretch vestments to the more fitted vestments………………