Pope Francis has a chunk butt, much like Chris Evans (sorry Bedhead). I don’t know how we got to this place, where we’re doing body criticism on the Pope, but here we are. The Pope isn’t bikini-ready for spring break in Daytona. He never fits into the sample sizes. Us Weekly is about to do a scathing exposé on his gluttonous diva demands. People Magazine wants his recipe for slutty brownies. In all seriousness, since Pope Francis moved to the Vatican, it seems he’s been enjoying the Italian cuisine a bit too much. His doctors are worried about how much weight he’s put on in the past few years, so they’ve put him on a diet. Poor Franny!
Pope Francis is getting fat, you guys. Apparently his weight gain has become increasingly apparent, so Vatican doctors have warned the religious leader to lay off the pasta, according to The Telegraph. The 78-year-old Argentinian seems to have taken a liking to spaghetti and ravioli, specifically. The Vatican revealed that the Pope needs to adopt a more “disciplined” regimen, including exercising more to combat the stress of his job.
The pontiff has been told he can eat his favorite meal only twice a week, which should hopefully satiate his cravings. Although, as pasta lovers ourselves, we don’t blame the guy for wanting a plate or two (or three or four or five) of the Italian deliciousness, but with a job like his, we can’t imagine the stress he’s under.
Pope Francis already only has one functional lung, so doctors are trying to keep him in the best shape possible given the circumstances. The religious leader takes no holidays or any other forms of time off. Doctors are also being extra precautious because the pontiff recently had some sort of premonition where he felt he wouldn’t last that much longer in the papacy.
“I have the feeling that my pontificate will be brief: four or five years, even two or three. Two have already passed,” he said, per MSN. “It is a somewhat strange sensation. Maybe it’s like the psychology of the gambler who convinces himself he will lose so he won’t be disappointed and if he wins, is happy.”
Poor dude. I mean, he’s 78 years old! It’s a little bit late in the game to try to develop healthier eating patterns. And it sort of sounds like Francis is a stress-eater. It happens. He’s responsible for the souls of more than a billion Catholics. That would be enough to get any of us to stress-eat endless bowls of pasta too, you know? I say let him have his pasta, but yes, make him get a bit more exercise. And maybe get him some Lipitor.
Francis also recently complained about missing his pre-papacy lifestyle, when he could just take a walk outside and go pick up a pizza. Some lovely pizza-makers heard about it and they hand-delivered a pizza to Francis while he was riding in his Pope-mobile – go here to see the video. I like Francis so much – he actually seems like a decent guy, like a small-town priest who loves to eat ice cream and play soccer with the kids.
Here’s the new waxwork Pope Francis at the Grevin Wax Museum in France. WAX DEMON POPE!
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.