Apologies for starting out with a months-old photo of Madonna at the Grammys. Madge only gets papped these days when she’s entering or exiting a gym. She wears the same sweatshirts and often hides her face. I think she’s trying to direct us towards her Instagram stunts. We’re supposed to believe that Madonna really looks like all of the photoshopped images she posts to social media.
Madonna’s been busy working out every day and working on a new song called “Messiah” (she posted the lyrics here), which hopefully will not sound at all like “Yeezus” or “Sheezus” or whatever it is the kids are writing these days. Madge’s new album doesn’t have a title or a release date yet, but she’s working with DJ Diplo. Is that good or bad?
Madge is also upsetting her fellow citizens by receiving special treatment for jury duty in NYC. I want to give her credit for showing up, but she probably tried to get out of it several times. Most people try to get out of jury duty, and the few people who don’t try wish they did once they realize how freaking boring the experience is. I have a law degree and I still get called in periodically. They always let me go home once the attorneys remember that law grads are trouble. It sounds like Madonna is causing all sorts of trouble too, mainly because she’s one of the most famous women on the planet:
The Material Girlfinally showed up for jury duty Monday morning — almost 30 minutes after her already pushed-back reporting time.
Wearing a black suit, black sunglasses and platform sandals, Madonna was whisked up the front steps at 60 Centre St. by two court officers, three policemen, two bodyguards and an assistant.
Madonna waited a few minutes to get through security and, after setting off the magnetometers twice, showed off heavy metal chains around her neck.
A female officer scanned the star’s chest with a handheld detector and waved her through.
Instead of heading upstairs with the hordes ofregular Joes doing their civic duty, the “Vogue” singer was taken to a private office to meet with a head clerk.
There Madonna had a moment of shock when County Clerk Norman Goodmanjoked that he might have to sequester her for a week, sources said.
The 55-year-old pop star is expected to be released from service after the brief appearance, another court source added.
One attorney told The Post she wouldn’t want Madge on her jury anyway.
“She’d be a total distraction,” the attorney said. “I’m sure she’s bright, but her celebrity overrides her intellect. Everyone would be staring at her — I know I would.”
The red carpet treatment had fellow jurors in a huff.
A court spokesman explained that allowing Madonna to arrive an hour after hundreds of people reported for duty would cut down on distraction and still allow her to serve.
“We’re happy she’s coming,” David Bookstaver said.
[From Page Six]
Can you imagine being on trial or filing a lawsuit and seeing Madonna giving you the stink eye from the jury box? I don’t know the rules for celebrities in NYC, but Los Angeles courts never let celebrities get out of jury duty. They can reschedule, but they eventually have to do their time in the pool. It’s a good policy. The Page Six article includes complaints from other jurors about Madge’s special treatment, but Madonna is SO famous that she really is a distraction.
Madge Instagrammed this picture to prove she went to jury duty with this caption: “Serving my country! Reporting to jury selection! #itshotinhere”
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet, WENN & Madonna on Instagram