Orlando Bloom goes shirtless, wears lavender Free City sweats: would you hit it?

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These are weird photos, right? I’m not just imagining that? Orlando Bloom was wandering around a Malibu beach on Saturday with a long-haired hippie dude-friend. Orlando was “shirtless” in the sense that we can see his chest and all, but he seemed to be wearing his shirt around his neck, like a scarf or a cape. And he also wore purple Free City sweats that I suspect are A) Capris and B) lady’s sweatpants.

So, this is for all of the Orly-loonies. I’m not feeling much, which I guess is weird. I’ve never been into Orlando, even though his body type is my favorite – I love long, lanky dudes who are not too “beefy” but sort of rangy and athletic. Orlando has a nice body, he has good hair and he’s pretty. I should be hot for him, right? But I’m not feeling it. Maybe it’s the lady’s sweatpants.

What else is going on with Orlando? Well, some tabloid was trying to stir up some controversy by claiming that Miranda Kerr left him because he drinks and parties too much. It seemed like a weird story and Miranda came out and denied it flatly. He also recently purchased an $4.8 million apartment in NYC very close to Taylor Swift’s place. Which is interesting, especially given the tabloid reports that he’s been pursuing Swifty. I actually want that to happen – Orlando and Swifty can be twee together. It would be magical.

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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57 Responses to “Orlando Bloom goes shirtless, wears lavender Free City sweats: would you hit it?”

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  1. BangersandMash says:

    He’s lost his hotness!!

  2. Frida_K says:

    This ensemble does him no favors.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      He looks ridiculous and try hard.

      • Jayne says:

        Can I also say I still think that he is trying to get with Swifty to increase his visibility. And this pants at the pubis for paps is proving my point.

        Also Taylor is too young for him hes a middle aged papa.

    • BratB says:

      Agreed , it looks like something that the Hoff would wear while eating a cheeseburger off the floor!

    • Rice says:

      Yeah. I don’t understand what’s going on here and I don’t like it. Think I’ll need to have a chat with him.

  3. Ag says:

    pull up your underwear and your pants, dude. FFS.

    • Brin says:

      And take off the scarf, you’re at the beach.

    • ncboudicca says:

      Amen. Clearly he’s desperate for attention.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      It must take so much effort to position your pants and underwear like that and then keep them on while you walk. Why do men think that looks good? He looks like an a-hole.

      • Ag says:

        i don’t know why men think that looks good (or acceptable even), but they are sorely mistaken.

  4. kibbles says:

    He doesn’t look good here. These shirtless pics do nothing for me.

  5. shannon says:

    i’ve never understood the appeal of Orlando Bloom…maybe it’s because i’ve never seen any of the pirate movies all the way through. Regardless, nothing about him screams hot. That hair is a downright turnoff.

    • mystified says:

      He has always seemed very likeable to me. Easy on the eyes without actually being super hot.

      • Erinn says:

        This. He seems a bit like a more normal guy. And he’s always seemed super nice.

        This however – is a terrible look.

    • insomniac says:

      I always thought he was adorable, but this outfit is just dire.

    • boredsuburbanhousewife says:

      He was very pretty but he lacks sexual charisma onscreen. He was easily overshadowed in that department in LOTR by Viggo & Sean Bean ( both of them just radiate dirty sex) and Johnny Depp chewed him up along with all the rest of the scenery in POTC. Also he lacks The Voice thang.

  6. PunkyMomma says:

    Nope.

  7. Abbott says:

    What is this Juicy Couture demon that had taken possession of Orlando Bloom?

  8. Lilacflowers says:

    Auditioning for the next cape-wearing superhero franchise?

  9. Kiddo says:

    He has a great body….but then it’s attached to him and those stupid pants. No one wears a shirt like a scarf on a hot day at the beach, it’s ridiculous. And there is your answer.

    • kri says:

      I wouldn’t hit it if it was buzzing around my head and I had a fly swatter handy. It looks like he stole those sweats off a sidewalk sale at Rainbow. Just NO.

    • blue marie says:

      Ha, I like your answer

    • I Choose Me says:

      I figured the shirt worn around his neck like that is to keep his neck from getting sunburned. I’ve been known to do that at the beach but with a hand towel. I also apply sunscreen but it doesn’t always do the job. I have no idea what’s happening pants wise.

      • Kiddo says:

        I’m guessing you do that while lying down because then there is more surface area of the neck exposed to the sun. Walking while wearing a ‘scarf’, will give you a white neck with everything else sunburned. If the worry was about sunburn, why not just put the shirt on?

    • lrm says:

      The beaches in so cal are *not* ‘super hot summer beach days’. It’s in the mid 70′s here all summer, for the most part. Warm enough to take off one’s shirt but actually, with a breeze, it can be slightly cool at the same time. No humidity in so cal, either. Just sayin’, he’s in malibu.
      I regularly carry a light layer with me to the beach and all coastal walks. So cal also has night/morning low clouds, meaning cloudy evenings and mornings, keeping the weather cooler.

      The rest of his outfit, however, is ridiculous. He’s pushing 40 and i don’t get what this ‘look’ is supposed to be. The pants pulled down, part of the boxers showing-just ew.
      And anyone PR relating with taylor swift is showing obvious try hard or bearding. Actors and singers should know this by now.

  10. Original Tessa says:

    The honking gold watch also seems an odd choice for the beach. Just weird outfit all around.

  11. lower-case deb says:

    of all the people in showbiz, he has to take fashion advice from Bieber?

    why Legless, why?

  12. smutwriter says:

    He lost his cute!

    What happened to his cute? His face is too young and too old now all at the same time.

  13. Nene says:

    He used to look better. Before Miranda to be precise.
    Wth happened to him?

    This might be harsh but the man with him looks a voo-doo man.

    And why do many men think that hanging/sagging pants are hot?

  14. Nene says:

    Typo- like a*

  15. Kali says:

    I hope Kit Harington has this picture up on the wall as motivation so he doesn’t end up “that” guy in 10 years (or thereabouts…)

  16. Boodiba says:

    BAD body! He needs a trainer.

  17. Becki says:

    WEIRD all around!! What is happening here?! And can we talk about that stomach tattoo?! Is that a turtle?! I think he definitely lost his hot.

  18. Nope says:

    Do you think he has a brazilian haircut down-there?

  19. Adrien says:

    A beach attire with a scarf? I don’t like to slag off Orly for his looks coz he seems like a nice, decent person but he looks like Mick Hucknall of Simply Red.

  20. Sunny says:

    Not feeling him here at all. But to be fair that could be because I have never been into pretty guys and not because of the sweatpants.

    Can I just say I am not into the idea of him and Swifty AT ALL. I know he hooked up with Selena which seemed gross to me because of her age but what bothers me most is that Selena and Swift are immature.

    Taylor can can fruit and needlepoint all she likes, she still basically behaves like a 15 year old. How she paints herself as the victim after each breakup, to her gym photo ops, to her bringing up Kayne’s long dead insult she is like a middle school cheerleader with a poorly concealed mean streak.

    I think she is gorgeous and talented but so so juvenile. Orlando has a kid- I think he needs to date a grown up.

    • I Choose Me says:

      Um, you know he hooked up with Selena how? Because gossip said so? Where’s the proof? The pics or the pap stroll? I think they probably know each other but I highly doubt they dated.

  21. delorb says:

    His face has gone to pot. LOL

  22. Ty says:

    His body is nice. But his hair ruins it. He is too old for that hairdo to be quite frank. Well at least it doesn’t suit his particular face at this particular age he is at now. Also can I just say the rumors of him and Taylor and Selena scream early midlife crisis.

  23. ToodySezHey says:

    Damn. I see the Judgy hyenas are out today.

    Lol at these comments. I bet these will be the same women complaining about being judged superficially on looks but god forbid OB go to the beach in an outfit straight of the Johnny Depp wtf ensemble.

    God forbid the man chill at the beach and not look like he just got back from an SI beach shoot. So which is it..is he try hard or not enough try?

    Ridiculous comments.

    That said, eh, he was always handsome to me but never set my lady bits aflame, but he looks healthy and fit I guess.

  24. Jaderu says:

    I guess I’m the only one that’s waiting breathlessly for a post about SwiftyBloom antiquing or baking pirate themed cupcakes and playing with kittens on Instagram.
    I want this. Don’t tell me that the Summer of Sorry 2014 is all I have to look forward to!

  25. I Choose Me says:

    Weird getup aside, he looks damned good to me. And i like his face better now that he’s not so pretty.

  26. Liz says:

    “Johnny Depp WTF ensemble” … love it!

    He used to be pretty. I think the main issue are his eyes that began too droop too much, too early. He usually looks tired and haggard. Sorry but it’s true.

  27. cynicalsmirk says:

    *Sigh* …there was a time when I would have hit him hardhardhard, but sadly, no longer. Not even in the Legolas wig, LOL :)

    Oh well. Those elvish fantasies are what 12 year old trilogy dvd’s are for, I guess.

  28. Word Girl says:

    He used to be really handsome. IMO he’s still handsome, but I prefer to see him promoting stuff that he is currently working on versus just seeing him on the beach. Also, he has outgrown that haircut.
    On another note, I’ve felt like taking my shirt off when walking home in extremely hot weather like this, lol. You know those summer days when you feel like you can almost fry an egg on the street. Lol.

  29. Emily C. says:

    Dude, you’re my age. Pull your damn pants up. You look like one of those skeezy middle-aged guys who hangs out at college bars trying to pick up 19-year olds.

  30. qwerty says:

    re: the “lady’s sweatpants” line

    Freecity clothes are unisex

  31. Altariel says:

    I want him done up as Legolas 24/7. I think it’s his best look by far.