Martha Stewart shades Gwyneth’s GOOP: ‘She wants to be a lifestyle arbiter, fine’

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I’m not even going to bother trying to compare Gwyneth Paltrow and Martha Stewart. There are similarities, for sure, but I think any and all comparisons would be a compliment to Gwyneth and a slam for Martha. Martha built her lifestyle brand out of nothing. She defines what we now think of as “the lifestyle brand.” Martha lives and breathes cooking, baking, entertaining, decorating and so much more. People have tried to take down Martha and she’s survived, intact and stronger than ever. Gwyneth is merely a bored, wealthy, entitled princess who deigns to glide off her pedestal to inform the peasantry as to how they should live The Goop Way. Ordinarily, Martha lets it pass. Martha has seen poseurs and she’s seen the young ones, nipping at her heels. Martha will bury them all. But Martha decided that this was the moment that Gwyneth needed one good shading. This is what Martha said during an interview with Bloomberg (via LaineyGossip):

“I haven’t eaten at Gwyneth’s house and I’ve never seen how she lives. But if she’s authentic, all the better. And I certainly hope she is. She really wants to be part of the lifestyle business. Gwyneth, for example, has a book on the bestseller list. She must be doing something right. She’s a charming, pretty person um who um has a feeling for lifestyle. She wants to be a lifestyle arbiter, fine. Good. I think I started this whole category of lifestyle.”

I’m including the video below. I think this is the equivalent of Martha giving Gwyneth a pat on the head and a quick knife in the back. Martha is basically saying she doesn’t know what the fuss is about but she supposes *some* people are interested in it, so who is she to judge? My favorite part? “IF she’s authentic”. Not “she’s authentic (from what I’ve seen).” Martha still has significant questions about Goop’s authenticity. You and me both, Martha.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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80 Responses to “Martha Stewart shades Gwyneth’s GOOP: ‘She wants to be a lifestyle arbiter, fine’”

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  1. Rhea says:

    Meow!

    I wonder what’s Paltrow next move now. :)

    • Esmom says:

      Yup. I was thinking that Martha had no real reason to be catty but then again her empire is a little unwieldy/stodgy and that newer, hipper upstarts might pose a bit of a threat.

      Maybe Paltrow should invite Martha to dinner to prove her authenticity while showing respect for her lifestyle elder…I think I would.

      • Anna says:

        Well, Martha is like Rembrandt and suddenly all those amateurs started taking photos of her work and selling it like the real deal w/o giving credit to her. Rembrandt would be pissed.

      • Lucinda says:

        She was probably answering a direct question about Gwyneth and Martha is kinda a jerk so this answer is pretty on par for her. I would feel sorry for Gwyneth if she weren’t equally insufferable. I also think Martha’s questioning the authenticity was spot on.

      • Nancito says:

        As a 62 year old woman, I hated when Martha Stewart appeared on the scene. It felt like we are all supposed to be busy 24/7/365 cooking, cleaning, crafting and home decorating in between smoking our own bacon, erecting pizza ovens in the backyard, not to mention growing our own organic vegetables. My point is, I’m no Martha fan, but, at least Marsha’s lifestyle and craft products are affordable and she is really much more relateable (new word?) to the average person.

      • JJ says:

        I think you just offended Rembrandt by comparing him to some fraudster life style guru selling her products at Kmart.

    • Birdix says:

      In one swoop, she made Gwyneth look striver-y, you’re right, it will be interesting to see if Goop reacts.

    • Anna says:

      You do NOT strike back at Martha. That woman survived prison.

    • Cazzee says:

      Martha grew up working class in New Jersey. Her parents were Polish-American and her maiden name was Martha Kostyra. She is entirely self-created, she’s worked her butt off to be where and who she is today, and yes, she’s right – Martha did create the whole lifestyle concept. I’m not a fan of that stuff, but let’s give credit where credit is due.

      Team Martha.

  2. mia girl says:

    I think Goop is authentic…
    authentically boring.

    • Faye says:

      +1! Love this comment.

    • Faye says:

      If I were Martha, I wouldn’t even have deigned to comment on Gwyneth. Gwyneth is a wannabe poseur who thinks she has street cred because she knows Jay-Z. Martha did actual time in the Big House and came out better than ever. Puh-lease.

      Say what you will about Martha’s personality, she’s built a legit successful business empire and pioneered the modern day lifestyle improvement industry. Gwyneth is a neurotic dilettante trying to do something to get attention since her acting career petered out.

      Team Martha!

      • HeHatesTheseCans says:

        I noticed her great friend Jay-Z on the cover of Vanity Fair. Maybe he ignored her memo about not speaking with them. Then again, I don’t she was a topic of discussion.

      • mystified says:

        Martha used to annoy me but after her stint in the Big House I have become an admirer. She handled it with so much class. Didn’t she even teach her fellow inmates some useful skills?

        Martha ‘s hair looks way better than Gwyneth ‘s too.

      • mercy says:

        I’m a Martha fan all the way, but Gwyneth put her acting career on the backburner to have a family. I’m sure she could get more acting work if she wanted it. Martha had a modelling career that either petered out or was not that successful to begin with, I’m not sure which. Maybe she wasn’t that into it. Whatever the case, she found a new career for herself. Nothing wrong with that. The objection I have to Gwyneth is her GOOP business isn’t nearly as cool or interesting as she thinks it is.

        @mystified, she did teach some cooking classes at the prison. She did her time and paid her dues, unlike many others.

    • paola says:

      If i was Martha i would have said:
      ‘Gwyneth who?’

      • Narak says:

        All I can say is that like Julia Childs, Martha’s recipes are tested to the nth degree and have never let me down.

  3. Nev says:

    Hahahahahahahahahaha

    YES Martha!!!!!! Don’t mess with Martha. She’s GANGSTA. Love her.

    • Belle Epoch says:

      Well said. This woman has been in JAIL. She’ll cut you!

      I love how she threw in the fact that she invented “lifestyle” at the end. Good luck Gwynnie.

    • BooBooLaRue says:

      For reals, no one gets out alive! Sort of the Leona Helmsley of her time…run Goop run!

  4. blue marie says:

    Ha ha, Gwynnie now knows what it feels like to be Jessica Alba. You know Goop’s not going to let this go.

    • j.eyre says:

      Goop responds: “Oh, Martha Stewart is wonderful. I say to Steven (Spielberg) when I chat with him on the phone that Martha probably would have put a gaeta olive branch on this pagnotta di oliva instead of my exact pastry replica of a manzanilla olive. I just like manzanilla because they are pressed by virgins who think good thoughts while squeezing them – but Martha would be more accurate, of course.

      My friends are always saying, like, “Gwyneth – this cake is so beautiful – like something Martha Stewart would make.” I correct them and say “well, actually, this is a Croquembouche, not a cake” which I learned to make in Laval and then I point out that Martha usually store bought chocolate shaving while I shave mine from my Chocolate Tree Orchard I am growing for the kids to experience farming. They are so smart, they always say “but Mom, isn’t Martha Stewart that lady that went to jail? And I am like “No, honey – she one of the really old people who started doing what mum does now; just for common people.

      It’s a compliment for Martha to mention me, of course.”

      • Thiajoka says:

        Please apply to be Goop’s publicity manager and insist she must let you write all public statements.

      • momoftwo says:

        Wow…you hit it right on the money…I am sure she and Stellz (McCartney) are having this exact conversation right now!

        Too funny!

      • blue marie says:

        Ha, you’re a bit of wonderful j. channeling Goop as you have. I think she would also figure a way to mention that she’d never sell her wares at someplace as lowly as K-Mart.

        @dc.. I wasn’t poking fun at Alba at all, did Goop make some off hand comment about her? That’s what I was referring to..

      • Anna says:

        The next day the headline reads: “Goop found shanked and covered with a hand-knit poncho in the Chocolate Tree Orchard. No suspects.”

      • LadySlippers says:

        Miss Eyre,

        You do have a way with words! I just yet may forgive you for stealing my bubbly the other day.

        ;-)

        Love,

        LadySlippers

      • Lindsey says:

        AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Oh my god, you win the Internet for the rest of the month.

      • Shauna says:

        Amazing!!

      • loveisthecoal says:

        It took me reading about halfway through this before I realized that it was not actually a statement made by Gwyneth. Bravo!! :D

      • Liberty says:

        Oh god — fantastic!!! :-)

        “…….not a cake.”. Oh I love it.

      • Bird says:

        Oh, my sweet Jane. I do love you so. I will pay you to write me long letters on scented stationary.

    • dcypher1 says:

      Don’t get me wrong Jessica is a horrible actress but a good business women. I’ve actually been on her site unlike goops who’s site I’ve never been on and will never go on. I have found some of albas tips actually useful and helpful and affordable especially for those who aspire for an all natural lifestyle.

  5. T.fanty says:

    Go Martha. I went to see her show being filmed once. She was an absolute miserable bitch. Which obviously made me love her more.

    • GoodNamesAllTaken says:

      But she’s an authentic bitch. That’s what makes her lovable.

      • mystified says:

        +1. Too bad Joan Crawford is deceased and born a century too early to play her in “The Martha Stewart Story”.

        Also I would love to see Courtney Stodden play Goop in “The Gwynneth Paltrow Story” just to see Goop’s reaction.

    • Anna says:

      You know what I wish I did in New York? Went to a filming of the Daily Show w Jon Stewart.

    • phillykatt says:

      I don’t understand why anyone would admire a “miserable bitch.”

      I went to an audition for “Who Wants to be a A Millionaire” when Meredith Viera was hosting. She was very nice and charming both on and off the camera. Melissa Rivers was on the show and she also was very nice. Unfortunately, I didn’t make the cut.

      Sorry, mean people really do suck.

    • NYC_girl says:

      I went to a taping of her show too, about two years ago. She was so antisocial to the audience and seemed so put out by the whole thing. During the commercial breaks she totally ignored us. And if someone can hook me up with tickets to Colbert, I will love them forever.

  6. MonicaQ says:

    I can’t watch the video but did she fluff up into one giant ball of anger? Because that would’ve been great.

    I’m kinda glad out side of Iron Man, I’ve managed to avoid Paltrow completely. Her shit is completely not attainable to anyone not living in the Hamptons with a summer house. Seven hundred dollars for a shot glass?! It’s like watching “Barefoot Contessa” with Ina Garten and her, “I got this cheese from a maker down the street who massages his cows to Kenny G solos and the cows are from an island off the coast of Thailand and there’s only 7 in the world…but you can go to your local grocers and get regular cheese.”

    Obligatory, “LIKE A PEASANT” at the end. Ugh. At least I can bake a Martha cake without the blood of Finnish spitz puppies.

    • strickchic says:

      oh man, this is great! Love all the snark in your comment, and the absolute truth!

    • Thiajoka says:

      Ha! Some people are on a roll today on Celebitchy! Keep ‘em coming.

    • Elizabeth says:

      +1 dying at the Ina Garten comment. So true.

    • littlestar says:

      Hey! I love Ian Garten! Her actual life may be unattainable for most people, but she cooks damn good food that for the most part does not have expensive ingredients. And she’s also somewhat of a protégé of Martha, so she’s obviously good in Martha’s books ;) .

      Love the shade throwing on Goopy though. She is so far up her own butt that she’s a joke to all of us. Most days I don’t know whether I love Gwyneth for that, or if I dislike her lol.

    • Esmom says:

      Spot on about Ina…she seems utterly clueless more than truly condescending, though. My son and I were watching an episode recently where she invited some contractors who were working on her house and she decorated the table with a tool theme. She meant to be cute, I think, but it came off as if she thought those were the only things, unlike flowers that a more typical guest might enjoy, tradespeople could relate to!

  7. ldub says:

    Martha hates Gwyneth: it’s a good thing.

  8. Hautie says:

    *ouch*

    Now it makes me hope, that Vanity Fair has an exclusive quote from Martha, for their Gwyneth article. :)

    If there is one thing Miss Stewart knows how to do. Is put an inferior female in her place. With a smile on her face.

  9. Kiddo says:

    On the one hand, GOOP, ’nuff said, on the other, Martha’s authentic lifestyle has much to do with a staff of very talented and creative people.

    I propose a Snooty Cage Fight. I think Martha might win because she spent time in the big house and might shank a goop, but Goop has age advantage.

  10. Bopit says:

    Watch out Blake Lively! I don’t know if you want to step into the boxing arena of “lifestyle brands” with Martha!

    • JLo says:

      Exactly what I thought! Maybe Martha thinks of Blake as a protege?

      • Liberty says:

        Well, in my dream, Martha plucks Winona Ryder out of the comeback line, My Fair Lady’s her, teaches her everything she knows in intensive immersion sessions, introduces her as the new face of the empire and watches a fresh, polished, focussed spatula- and decor-empowered WR mercilessly slap down Goop over and over into gold-leaf and linen and crystal and homegrown squash flower smithereens.

    • @Liberty; You made my day!

  11. Nicolette says:

    Martha used to be one of the things I loved about Food Network when I used to watch it. I really enjoyed her holiday shows, from Halloween through Christmas. Of course most of what she would do I just wouldn’t have the patience for, but I enjoyed watching what she did.

  12. mercy says:

    Whenever I see Martha interviewed, I’m always surprised by how brusque she is. Her pictures give off such a warm, sunny vibe but when she opens her mouth it’s like a chill runs through the air lol.

    Martha going to dinner at Gwyneth’s would make a great SNL sketch, now that I think about it.

  13. drea says:

    If (big IF, like Martha’s) Goop succeeds and eventually dethrones Martha, this could be her talking about Blake Lively in a few years.

    • mercy says:

      Apparently they’re friends, so that would be interesting. I don’t think Blake is that into promoting the luxe lifestyle business, but we’ll see. She seems to be really into food,

    • Barbara says:

      I think Martha will make Blake her protege and then her successor – which might justify the jab just after Blake announced she has a lifestyle cooking up and about to be served. So it’s like Martha preparing the road for Blake – who she’s very good friends with and who Martha had dinner with many times (Martha said so in her magazine). Do you see the subtle set up? She had dinner with Blake numerous times, she knows she’s authentic (she dropped more compliments towards Blake before), then she comes and slams the snob wannabe a little before Blake runs her lifestyle whatever. It seems premeditated and well thought if you ask me.
      10 bucks Blake business will be associated with Martha in one way or the other

  14. dcypher1 says:

    How dare anyone compare Martha to goop. Martha is the epitome of the American dream. A hard working true entrepreneur and a damn good business woman. Goop is spoiled little rich girl who’s blog is for the 1%. Martha appeals to everyone regardless of class. I actually love and read Martha’s magazine. Gwyneth is so out of touch with reality and pretentious and boring. Whatever she shilling I’m not interested. If its got her name on it I don’t want it and will never watch her movies.

    • Libby says:

      Amen!
      Martha created an empire out of her catering business because she’s selling something many people want. Her website, publications, and shows are a treasure trove of entertainment ideas, crafts, recipes, and sound Home Ec. principles. To all those who want to be the next Martha Stewart: there’s only one and she’s not going anywhere.

      As for her personality, who cares? I’ve read that Steve Jobs was a jerk (and built his empire with assistance from others – his employees, just like Martha) but that never stopped anyone from purchasing his superior products. Her comments about Goop were perfectly catty.

      • Suki2 says:

        Yes Martha is about doing: cooking, keeping house, gardening, making crafts. GOOP is mostly about buying.

  15. megs283 says:

    What beautiful writing…”a pat on the head and a quick knife in the back” – love it!!! I might start using that phrase in conversation. :-)

  16. Algernon says:

    Yeah yeah yeah, that’s all well and good. I want someone to ask Martha about Pinterest and Instagram and how that’s cutting into her magazine, etc. Goop is obnoxious and not attainable, but Gwyneth’s platform is more in line with mobile technologies. It also made me think of Blake Lively and her “curated life”, which is just a Pinterest board, right?

    I wonder if Martha is really personally offended by Gwyneth, which is how everyone is taking this, or if she sees Goop as the vanguard of the new wave that is overtaking her industry. An industry which she had an ironclad death grip on for decades, by the way.

  17. NewWester says:

    I would like to see Martha and Goop face off like on Iron Chef. Martha would be cool as a cucumber, while Goop would have flour and other ingredients all over her and her hair a mess. While in the background the song “Work Bitch” is playing. Then at the end when Goop collapses on her prep table. Martha would turn to the camera and say “that’s a good thing”

  18. Jess says:

    Team Martha!

  19. annaloo. says:

    TEAM MARTHA all the way.

    Martha Stewart is accessible to me. Give me that woman, tissue paper, a pair of scissors and some glue, and there will be a masterpiece created that I can not only afford to attempt, but have instructions how to execute so I can bring it into my life. Martha is a teacher.

    GOOP will tell you where you can find tissue paper priced at $500 a sheet. And maybe a $50 organic kale cookie to eat.That’s it.

    While Martha’s world can certainly include $500 sheets of paper, she can also do wonders with cheap disposable egg crates and used plastic bottles.

    We understand the difference btw them now, yes?

    THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE.

    • littlestar says:

      You hit the nail on the head. That’s exactly what Martha is, a teacher! Goop just tells you how we can be like her (if we had the money, that is).

  20. Penelope says:

    I hate to say it but Goopy looks great in that pic.

    Nice takedown by Martha! Don’t mess with the big kids, G.

  21. lisa says:

    it was kind of martha to call her pretty

    i think she goop looks like a month old kitchen sponge

  22. irishserra says:

    I may not love Martha, but I sure as hell respect that woman. I can’t say the same for Goopy.

  23. poppy says:

    martha stewart was included in goop’s nyc dinner for friends to promote her first cookbook. goop cooked dinner for all of her nearest and dearest “friends” so they could drop sound bites to the invited press. i think all martha said was she saw her in shakespeare in love. nothing goop does is real. everything she does is a calculated PR strategy. such a fake try hard. that’s also the event that blythe danner pulled out a monogrammed napkin and said it was bruce paltrow’s.

    nobody can out “i walk on water and my sh!t don’t stink” martha stewart, especially goop. its like putting a baby in a cage with a tiger.

  24. RHONYC says:

    how ’bout the double S-H-A-D-E she hit that reporter with @ min 0:52:

    “of COURSE I DATE…i don’t know how old YOU are, but i NEVER think about that!”

    HA!

    game. set. match. bitch!

    that chick need to ask somebody…Martha BEEN a G since stuntin’ in her model days in the 60′s and could take ‘her’ man lookin this good in her SEV-EN-TIES *snap* then bake him some mean biscuits with lobster mac-n-cheese, ok.

    http://www.celebrityviplounge.com/martha-stewart-parade-magazine/

    and BOOM goes the DYNAMITE! :lol:

  25. Camille (TheOriginal) says:

    I’m more interested in finding out what the Vanity Fair cover story on GOOP is going to be (hopefully very juicy!)..hehe.

  26. shellybean says:

    I’m a huge Martha fan, I find it hilarious that she’s side-eyeing Goopy.