Linnocent covers Lovecat Mag, tagline: “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”

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Back in August, Linnocent got crackie with a surfboard for a photo shoot with Lovecat Magazine. Surprisingly enough, Lovecat hasn’t released any images of Linnocent actually getting crackie with the surfboard – instead, we’re faced with this odd cover in which Linnocent seems to be declaring (nay, demanding) that we not hate her because she’s beautiful. My rebuttal: “SCREEEEEEE!”

fp_7360530_lohanlindsay_swim_brj_02_15

That should be the cover shot for every Linnocent pictorial. If magazines get tired of that one, I could also pull out my favorite Linnocent-in-a-furry pink coat photos.

Anyway, Lovecat’s editor, Prince Chenoa (I know, I know) did do this odd little Q&A about Linnocent’s cover shoot. By the way, this is one the second issue ever of Lovecat Magazine. What are the chances that this magazine will be out of business within three months? Typhoid Crackhead ruins everything she touches.

On the heels of last night’s packed September launch party at Le Bain, we chatted with Lovecat editor Prince Chenoa about the newest issue (which features never-before-seen stills of Lindsay Lohan from Richard Phillips’ film), Ms. L herself, and all the usual things: sex, drugs, and Pinky and the Brain.

Tell us a little about your latest issue…
Prince Chenoa:This issue is our Sextember issue – we highlight different brands and bombshells – and it’s also our “fashion + film” issue, out for fashion week. We wanted to celebrate one of today’s most influential actresses, Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay is just amazing to work with. She was shot by famed painter Richard Phillips, and stars as “Lyndsy Lohan” in this issue.

Why the name change to “Lyndsy”?
We were looking to change the perception of Lindsay. By changing her name slightly, she became a fictional character who for the first time is seeing herself from the other side of the mirror. As a true film icon, she is unsure of where fiction and reality connect. She finds herself in a dreamlike state of mind. These pictures are never before published stills from the Richard Phillips film.

And who is Lovecat’s type of girl?
Sexy, fun – a classic bombshell beauty. Think a mix of Brigitte Bardot, Cindy Crawford, Pamela Anderson, and Rosie Huntington.

What are the ingredients of the Lovecat cocktail?
Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll – with a touch of class.

[From Milkmade]

What “film,” you may ask? Thank you for your question. Several months ago, Linnocent “starred” in a cracked-out post-modern masterpiece, shot by photographer Richard Phillips (the photographer who shot Linnocent for Lovecat). We discussed the dog turd of a short film here, but I love it so much, I’m going to include it again.

Now I’ve got to wonder – Lovecat seems to have only used images from this “short film” and not from the new photo shoot with the surfboard. I wonder what was wrong with those photos? Haha, it’s more fun to guess.

Also – this story is sad/funny/typical: before leaving for Italy, Linnocent was memorably being a cracked-out catastrophe in New York City, punching bystanders, throwing drinks, being a violent drama queen, etc. She was also trying to acquire free clothes, in typical Linnocent fashion. The full story is here, at Scallywag and Vagabond, where they have an interview with an “associate” who works at Alexander Wang in NYC. The gist of the story: Linnocent had no money or credit cards on her person, and yet she spent a long time “shopping” in the Alexander Wang store in NYC. Maybe she expected the store to simply give her the clothes for free – meanwhile, Wang security was keeping an eye on her to make sure she didn’t steal everything that wasn’t nailed down. The “associate” tells the site that Linnocent “was outside smoking, while here creepy little overly flamboyant… gay [friend], went to pay… Card got denied twice,.. Said they’d be back after lunch and calling the bank! She never came back!” The cost? $5000.

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Photos courtesy of Fame, Lovecat.

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101 Responses to “Linnocent covers Lovecat Mag, tagline: “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful””

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  1. brin says:

    Ok, let’s start calling her Crackey instead of Crackie to change everyone’s perception of her…did it work?

  2. Cindy says:

    There is so much wrong with that. I hate her because she’s a greedy, cracked out, famewhore skank. Just saying.

  3. Gail says:

    I love how I had this page open, and my young son walked in and saw her picture walking out of the ocean. He just said “What the heck?” LOL

  4. atlantapug says:

    Yeah. No one hates you because you are beautiful.
    We pity you because you USED to be beautiful before the drugs, lip fillers and crazy took over your face.

  5. Danziger says:

    Meh. She IS beautiful. I mean, she used to be beautiful and she could be beautiful with her features, but since those have melted away with meth and booze, I doubt she’ll ever get them back.

  6. gee says:

    @Gail: LOL!

  7. Tierra says:

    That story from Scallywag is too funny.

    There is absolutely nothing model like about her. I didnt realize that mag was so new, no wonder they wanted to use her for exposure. I have to wonder if she realizes she only being used for press since she’s such a train wreck. These people hiring her need to get a clue. Just b/c she brings tons of negative attention doesnt mean people are going to start buying their products. Its actually counter-productive since most people wouldn’t touch anything she has to do with. They read about her for chuckles, not to follow her trends.

  8. Boo says:

    Prince Chenoa ought to brush up on his (her?) bullshit skills. Trust me: I was an English Major; I know from bullshit. One of the most “influential” actresses? What, as a cautionary tale? The name change made her a character who could see herself in a new way? PUH-LEEEEEZE. The only line I bought was that she was in “a dreamlike state”–most people call that a “blackout,” but I’m down with the poetry.

  9. dorothy says:

    Poor, poor girl. Still delusional, still in denial…no one hates you because your beautiful. We pity you that you have wasted your life and looks on drugs, alcohol, constant bad choices and stupidity.

  10. Quest says:

    Blah, blah, blah…blah, blah, oh dearest me, we hate LL because she is beautiful (bahahahaha)

    *wiping tears out of eyes*

    OMG, that is totally it *sacarsm*, we all hate you because of your beautiful duck billed, dirty bleached hair, cracked out ways and god awful teeth …and we move on

  11. Boo says:

    I thought we hated her because she is an entitled little thief who preys on anyone and anything to make a quick buck and never takes responsibility for anything.

    If the Screee Cracken photo ever grows old, use the picture of her out with Designer Phil in Milan yesterday where she has on the white dress that makes her braless boobs look 2 different sizes–where her hair is back but the short side pieces are hanging down, and she looks like a fat Little Dutch Boy in drag. That’s a good one.

    Sextember Issue? What’s next? Fucktober?

  12. Praise St. Angie! says:

    “one of today’s most influential actresses”?

    he must be smoking the crack, too.

    even at her PEAK, circa-Mean Girls, she was NOT one of the most influential actresses.

    and now, she’s nothing but a punchline.

    brin, good one.

  13. LL says:

    Film icon??!

    Bwahahaha.

  14. Waldemar says:

    “We wanted to celebrate one of today’s most influential actresses, Lindsay Lohan.”

    I actually choked. How much did she paid them to print that?

  15. TXCinderella says:

    Beautiful? No. She used to be kinda pretty, but that was several years back when she was younger. Now she looks like a dried up, used up old hag.

  16. Kat Scorp says:

    Oh pfffffttt!

    The wanker who describes “Lyndsy” as a “true film icon” had undeniably been dipping into BOTH of “Lyndsy”s crack stashes – if you catch my meaning.

    Good evening Brin *waves cheerfully*

    Is this a pic from the shoot? OK mag and US mag.
    http://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/photo_galleries/hot_pics_galleries/6167-lindsay-s-surfin-usa/1313591897_hp-lohan-surfing-lgg.jpg

  17. Emma says:

    In that second pic where she’s wet, emerging from the water, she looks like Smeagol/Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
    Scary.

  18. Addie says:

    Hold up —’As a true film icon’

    Is this part refering to Linday??
    Can’t be.
    Does she have a film career in her adult years that I don’t know about?

    What am I missing?

  19. Boo says:

    This picture, cropping out Phil’s dumb pucker face, could be a real contender for best worst photo!

    http://www.thesuperficial.com/lindsay-lohan-philipp-plein-holding-hands-09-2011/0927-lindsay-lohan-philipp-plein-04

  20. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Agreed Linnocent used to be beautiful…but that was around 4 crackie years ago…ther is absolutely nothing beautiful about Linnocent anymore & I doubt the ever will be again

    Anyone using the word ‘icon’ and Linnocent in the same sentence has obv been smoking the ole crack pipe…Honestly!!! No wonder Linnocent is so delusional!!!

    *downing a cracktini*

  21. brin says:

    WE all need a cracktini after this!
    *waving at KatScorp & Praise*

  22. Rudypatudie says:

    She can occasionally look notsobad, but mostly she has this look of ” I am the second tier escort, desperate for attention and love”

    She looks much much older than her age, and she looks like a druggie. Her perception of reality is skewed, and it really seems like she has crossed so far over to the dark side that she’s too far gone.

    I do think it’s sad. She used to be so pretty and there was an appeal about her. But it’s gone.

    Oh, and she needs to fire her hairstylist.

  23. ladybert62 says:

    The interview is hysterical – I think there is not one word that is truthful in it! Have to get busy at work or I would comment more on that interview – comedy gold is in there for the other posters today!!! ha ha

  24. Sakyiwaa says:

    actually, she used to be very beautiful. i don’t hate her. i’m ambivalent…

  25. Boo says:

    Uh oh. I just realized it. “Lovecat” is really just another way to say…you know, the 5-letter P word that is vulgar and thus suits Lindsay to a “P.”

  26. MacScore says:

    “looking at herself from the other side of the [coke] mirror”…..
    “She’s unsure of where fiction and reality connect” – no doubt due to the fact that she’s hardly got any brain cells left in her cracked out head.
    The entire interview – I’ve never read such delusional rubbish in my entire life.
    LiLo’s whole pathetic PR campaign is so misguided and laughable, I think I have to respectfully request to sign up for a Cracktini….

  27. penguin says:

    Never been beautiful. Next to rachel mcadams and amanda seyfried in mean girls she looked plain.

  28. Lady D says:

    Boo, that picture (#20) is something else, and hilarious as was your “down with the poetry.” I woke the house laughing at that one.

  29. Bess says:

    I’m trying to understand the story from the Alexander Wang associate. Did Cracky try to convince them to give her the clothes first? Then, when they turned her down, she went outside and had her “creepy little friend” aka Patrick/Pooty to pay with a maxed out card?

  30. Zoe Boyle says:

    i watched mean girls with my little niece yesterday – it’s just sad what this girl is doing to herself.
    the bright side: my niece is now just horrified whenever it comes to the subject of drugs. so thank you, crack-lo!

  31. Nemesis Rose says:

    Trust me Lindsay, that’s NOT why I hate you!

    Wasn’t “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful”, used for some beauty commercial tag line in the ’90′s? I can’t remember what it was for. I hope they sue her for ripping them off and defaming them. Pantene, I think it was? I think it was also a song? Sue her!

    Can’t read the interview/story. It’s just lie after lie, and heaps of delusion. The magazine should come with a gas mask from the fumes of bullshit wafting off of the pages!

  32. atorontogal says:

    OK now I’ve had my LiLo fix I can start my day. Renovating my house, dirty nails, sweaty, filled with drywall dust. Still my life is better than hers!!

  33. OriginalGracie says:

    @Boo: “Sextember Issue? What’s next? Fucktober?”

    HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA, that is brilliant! Thank you for that.

  34. imabrat says:

    Oh good heavens. This is what I can’t stand about her the most. I could care less what she does or chooses not to do but I just cannot stand someone that is delusional. Wake up and smell the coffee dumbass, you are not beautiful. You are an aged mottled mess.

  35. Rhiley says:

    For a crackhead “she is unsure of where fiction and reality connect. She finds herself in a dreamlike state of mind.”

    For a crackhead “Lindsay is just amazing to work with.”

    Lindsay Lohan is “Sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll – with a touch of class;” well, that is, for a crackhead.

    I love Kaiser’s Lindsay Lohan “For A CRACKHEAD” game.

  36. Original Tiffany says:

    Screee! The Cracken slowly rises out of the water and stares her Medusa like visage into the camera. Scree!
    I’m thinking a B movie like those crocasauras vs. gatoroids only maybe….
    The Cracken vs. Megapython.
    Joel McHale would love it!

  37. Ben says:

    SCREEEEEEEEE!!! That cracks me up every single time.

    “YOU HAVE AWAKENED THE CRACKEN! MOVE THAT SELF-RESPECT, I’M LINDSAY LOHAN!”

  38. OhMyMy says:

    According to their website: Published quarterly, it features some of the hottest models from every major agency.

    Then why Lindsay and Spaz de la Huerta for the first issue? They’re not really models from a major agency are they?

    At $10 an issue….oh yeah they’re gonna last a year.

  39. FUTMZ says:

    Ahhh, but she IS beautiful – in a “pass the formaldehyde” kind of way.

  40. Kelly says:

    @Nemesis Rose, it was Pantene: “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” Upon which I would shout at the TV, “No, I hate you because you’re a stuck-up bitch!”

  41. G says:

    What’s next Fucktober…..? OMG.

    Don’t hate me because I can’t stop laughing at that one.

  42. Nemesis Rose says:

    @Kelly: LOL! Then I guess this tag line fits Miss Lyndsy or whatever her name is now, to an absolute T!

  43. Cherry Rose says:

    Wow. They did a good job photoshopping that last picture of Lindsay in the white bra. Her skin looks pretty good, and her hair doesn’t look like barbie hair but actual real hair, and her lips don’t look like two stuffed sausages. So, kudos to making Lindsay actually look good.

    But then again, it’s a profile shot, and not a full on frontal, so that probably helps.

    And Lindsay is probably delusional because there are still people out there who will say stuff like “She’s an influential actress” or “She’s beautiful” etc. And because she’s so vain, she eagerly laps it up.

  44. ladybert62 says:

    Good funny posts ladies!! Keep it up, I am laughing myself silly as I take peeks during the day here at work!

  45. Kelly says:

    @Nemesis Rose, that is fitting, isn’t it. Or you could change it to, “No, I hate you because you’re a REET SLAG!” (For whatever reason, the voices inside my head are speaking in a Glaswegian accent today.)

  46. the original bellaluna says:

    I’m sorry. *pauses to catch breath after laughing so hysterically nearly passed the F out* Did that person call Blohan a “true film ICON?!?!?”

    *collapses into fits of uncontrolled laughter*

  47. the original bellaluna says:

    Ok, I’m back. I think I’m okay now.

    That whole “Lyndsy” bulls**t reminds me of when I was about 4 years old and told my mom “I’m going to change my name.” When she asked me why, I replied “Because bellaluna gets into too much trouble!”

    *passes out cracktinis, raises glass, waves*

  48. Nemesis Rose says:

    @Kelly: No worries! I’m part Scottish, I’ll understand ya!

    I nearly died laughing when I saw the caption and then I kept thinking, “Where the hell have I heard that self-absorbed crap before?” It totally fits Miss Lohole. Actually everything fits Miss Lohole, if you get my drift.

  49. 4Real says:

    Boo #20 – LMAO @“down with the poetry.”

    OMG all these comments are FRIGGIN AWESOME!

  50. Madisyn says:

    My rebuttal: BITCH, PLEASE!!!!!!!

  51. Bess says:

    You know, there are times that I wish that I had some of Linnocent’s delusional thinking and overconfidence.

  52. Denise says:

    Yawn; wake me up when she ceases to be relevant in celebrity pop culture……

  53. Annie says:

    It’s not her looks or lack thereof that make her unlikeable. It’s her arrogance, sense of entitlement, astonishing levels of delusion, and her habit of blaming all her wrongdoings on others – “It’s the black guy’s coke, hey, it’s not my fault I stole this necklace, it’s the store’s fault it’s overpriced, it’s not my fault I’m a drunken mess, it’s the photog’s fault for tripping me blah blah”. It’s her utter disregard for the law and basically anything and everyone except herself.

    If it was JUST a matter of the drug and money/career problems and the ruined looks I wouldn’t find her nearly so repugnant – just pitiful.

  54. OhMyMy says:

    @Annie: True dat. Agree.

  55. Kimberly says:

    That whole video reeks of an online video escort service aka a page out of a whore house catalog.

  56. Madisyn says:

    Boo

    Looking at the ‘Superficial’ pics you posted, I think to myself, do other ‘celebrities’ who pose as ‘the face’ of a ‘fashion line’, do THEY have to sleep with the top dog to promote said ‘line’ (pun intended)? Oh by the by, that pic of Blohan holding hands with Philip just proves Blohan is NO “model”. What does she stand, 5’4 tops? Twit!

  57. Heather M (Heather) says:

    Influential? More like under the influence…

  58. Heather M (Heather) says:

    @Brin, you are cracking me up today…!

  59. Madisyn says:

    What is going on today? You people are on THE BEST FUCKIN ROLL I’ve ever seen you on. Sometimes, like with my first comments, they’re just whatever first comes to mind. THEN, I try and be clever. I cant, I JUST CAN’T compete with you ladies today. And Boo, these are some of THE BEST comments I’ve seen.

    “MOVE THAT SELF-RESPECT, I’M LINDSAY LOHAN!” Boo thats fuckin BRILLIANT!

    “Influential? More like under the influence…” Heather M, PERFECT!

    “I hate you because you’re a REET SLAG!” Kelly, WORD!

    I NEED a cracktini!

    If this complete and utter bullshit story doesn’t drive one to drink, I don’t know what would.

  60. Bess says:

    TMZ didn’t post one thing about Linnocent’s antics during NYFW, but they seem to have jumped on this story pretty fast. Did the Family von Crack strike some sort of deal with TMZ??

    http://www.tmz.com/2011/09/28/lindsay-lohan-kissing-make-out-man-philipp-plein-fashion-designer-milan-italy-date-boyfriend/2/#comments-anchor

  61. Sara says:

    Clarification, don’t hate me because I USED to be beautiful! Don’t worry Lindsay, we never hated you because you were beautiful, as a matter of fact people LOVED you because you WERE beautiful. Once your brain gets so wiry from speed, you become delusional with confidence. I think this is what is going on here.

  62. Madisyn says:

    Bess

    TMZ says “they’re not ‘dating’”. Of course not, F*CKIN YOUR ‘BOSS’ is not the kind of ‘dating’ I know of.

    And I’m with you, TMZ hasn’t had a Blohan story in AGES. . .so it begs the question, ‘Did Dina finally cave’ and accept $200 per ‘EXCLUSIVE’ instead of the $10 grand they were demanding?

  63. Firecracker says:

    This is so funny, everything is just crackalicious. Lyho went shopping and then they tried to pay with a card that was no good, LMAO!

    Move those clothes, I’m Lindsey Lohan! Move them into my bag, slyly, secretively, I mean. I promise I will be back to pay for them, you have my word! Or would you take crack instead as payment?

  64. Susan says:

    Pretty sure she’ll be doing porn within the next year, cause the video above demonstrates that she certainly has a wide breadth of facial expressions…

  65. me says:

    I do not hate the woman but i do have to say if i was to hate someone for being beautiful it would not be her!!!!!! there’s better looking ppl on the planet!

  66. Madisyn says:

    Firecracker

    She’d NEVER give up her crack!

  67. Gizmerelda says:

    LMFAO. I can honestly say at Linnocent that I have nevr hated you because you are beautiful!! I hate you because you are a self-indulgent narcissistic lying butch who will openly abuse drugs and endanger the lives of others and has no remorse for any of your actions. And please, don’t misunderstand me – I don’t have a problem if you want to openly use drugs and sleep around to get what you want – that is your choice; but please stop thinking the world owes you and your family a living and stop blaming others for your own problems!

    Ah, rant over – I feel so much better now :-)

  68. Kelly says:

    @Madisyn, I agree – everyone’s on a roll today. The “move that [stinking pile of dookie], I’m LINDSAY LOHAN” meme took a little while to get rolling, but with this story, the material just wrote itself.

    You could sit around and fill in the “Don’t hate me because I’m…” blank all day.

  69. Bess says:

    I’m still curious about what went down in the Alexander Wang store during NYFW.

    Did Linnocent demand the free clothes? Did she storm out and expect Patrick aka Pootie to pay? Did he use her maxed out credit card?

    I gotta say that I am amazed that she continues to get away with the outrageous behavior- punching random people, throwing drinks, refusing to leave someone else’s property, confronting the bf’s wife and no one calls her out on it publicly. Most people would have been knocked on their ass a few times for all of the shenanigans she’s pulled over the last couple of years.

  70. Madisyn says:

    Kelly

    I don’t know if you know this but I’ve been calling Blohan a “SLAG” for the last couple of posts, its funny you said the same. I don’t know what “REET” means, but I can take a guess.

    Oh, and NO ONE ‘hates’ her because she’s beautiful. There’s 1,487,309 reasons to hate her. Being ‘beautiful’ is not one of them.

  71. Mdog says:

    That short film is retarded.

  72. the original bellaluna says:

    Mad – I think REET means “right proper” or something along those lines. A SLAG is a trashy slut.

    Oooh! I’ve got one! Don’t hate me because…

    8 YEARS of DRUNKEN, CRACK-HEADED, DRINK-THROWING, CRACK-TWEETING, CAR-CRASHING, VADGE-FLASHING, CAR-JACKING, FALSE-DRAMA STARTING, LEGAL-SYSTEM-DODGING behaviour is no reason to hate me, because I’M LYNDSY LOHAN! (yeah, I cut and pasted from last night) ;)

    *waves to all the usual suspects*

    Bess – She had no cash & no credit card; security followed her throughout the store (her well-earned reputation precedes her); she went outside to have a cig while that guy Pookie or whatever tried to pay with his credit card, which was declined twice. After a big stink about going to lunch and calling the bank, they never returned. The ATTEMPTED purchases rang in at around $5K.

  73. Kelly says:

    Madisyn, “reet slag” is Scottish for “major skank.” Feel free to use it at will!

  74. OhMyMy says:

    In the meantime Venice Beach is loving the peace and quiet of a Lohan-free zone these past few weeks.

    I know her next court date is Oct. 17th but when is she getting her butt back home?

  75. Bess says:

    @bellaluna,

    Sio, Linnocent told people in the store that her wallet was empty and she expected to get the clothes for free? Would she admit something like that?

    I thought Crackie’s style would be to say something like, “Gimme those clothes, I’m Lindsay Lohan!”

    Also, Phil has his own name tattoed inside his arm. Is that because he has trouble remembering?

  76. the original bellaluna says:

    Bess, no, I doubt she’d ever admit anything like that. Maybe she pulled out her wallet and it was empty, so dude stepped up. (Chances are she was high or drunk or both; “lunch” probably consisted of vodka and lines of sea jasper.) I totally agree: “Gimme those clothes, I’m Lyndsy Lohan!” is definitely more her style. (There’s a link somewhere to this story – I’ll try to find it.)

    About time someone stood up to her narcissistic, selfish ways!

  77. Madisyn says:

    Kelly

    Feel free to join us in the crack vat, floating on rafts in a ‘vodka pool’ of grace and deliciousness.

    Speaking of which, I’m ‘diving’ in, head first. No fuckin ‘kamikazi’s’. Anyone who reads this site, knows what I’m talkin about.

    I said it before, but it bares repeating: I NEED a cracktini!

    belle

    Thanks angel. Again knew what ‘SLAG’ meant, just not ‘REED’. Got it. I’ve mentioned in the past, I WAS married to a Brit, but never heard of “reet” before, strange, isn’t it? Unless its ‘new slang’? I was married 18 years ago, after all.

  78. Kelly says:

    Madisyn, “reet” is Scottish, not English, and not new. Like, maybe even dating back to Robert Burns.

  79. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Madisyn, ‘reet’ is ‘right’ pronounced with a heavy scottish accent :)

    Cracktini’s on the ledge by the vat – help urselves ladies :D

  80. Madisyn says:

    Have you guys seen the commercial for, and I’m not kidding here, the “KRAKEN”, black spiced rum? I’m fuckin serious. And at the end they actually say “Release the Kraken”. I’m fuckin serious. I just saw it on my ‘WSOP’ commercial. Again, for those, not in the know, “World Seriers of Poker”.

    Y’all know I play cards, right?

    Is that too much or what? Some jackass decided to name his rum after Blohan. Lurves It!

    High Ruby Red, *grabbing* cracktini’s off the ledge. Thanks!

    Kelly, thanks for the 411.

  81. the original bellaluna says:

    Madisyn – Haven’t seen it, but am looking forward to it. Is it available online? *dives in*

    (I think I may be in serious trouble, because my last 3 comments have been disappeared.)

    Bess, I think CB has the link to that story in the story above.

  82. Madisyn says:

    belle

    I don’t know if its available on-line, like I said, I saw it on TV. It’s gotta be on-line, if it’s on TV. CB HAS to do a story on this. Too fuckin funny!

    “RELEASE THE KRAKEN”, get the fuck outta here!

  83. Firecracker says:

    Lyho’s at it again, TMZ’s reporting that white powder spilled out of an envelope in the CBS mail room!

    Interestingly enough, the article says that it was not addressed to anyone at Dancing with the Stars.

  84. Kelly says:

    Thanks for the Cracktinis! I’ve been imbibing their sweet, sweet nectar dating at least back to the time Lindsay hijacked the SUV. Good times, good times.

  85. mzjask says:

    thanks for the summary of the interview, ladies, i just cant bare to read anything that spews from that vile woman’s collagen-plumped duck bill.
    i HONESTLY, like HONESTLY, from the very depths of my soul cannot understand HOW THIS WOMAN IS STILL RELEVANT. TO ANYONE.

    that said, i just cant get enough of the SCREE picture and that’s Really why i clicked on this post to begin with.
    Every Linnocent post should have the Kracken pic as the header!!! LMBO!!!

  86. The Original Mia says:

    I don’t hate on her because she’s beautiful. 1) She’s not beautiful. 2) She’s an entitled brat, who has basically gotten away with some serious sh#t that would have any other person in any city other than LA under the jail.

  87. Ben says:

    Ahaha yaaaay I got comment-props for “Move that self-respect”! :D Who doesn’t love thinking up new ways to comment on this woman’s absurd delusions?

    I’ve been pissing myself laughing at this comment thread – I’m starting to find Lyndsy almost as funny as the Cracken, Linnocent, Lindsanity LOLhan, etc. I may have to start using it. I *LOVE* that she had a hand in inventing it, or at least OKed it. Amazing. Never change, you crazy, awful human being.

  88. dr.bombay says:

    who are these as*holes who wrote the ridiculously titled article? Are they on crack, too? I don’t know this magazine, but it should lose all credibility, and fast!

  89. tooey says:

    “Hate me because I’m delusional”.

  90. Lady D says:

    Boo, its been almost 12 hours and I’m still laughing at your poetry comment. Priceless.

  91. Faye says:

    To L.Lohan,
    Go to your mandatory community service now please. I don’t hate you. Please feel the sincerity of my unhatred. Now go and do what the court said you could do instead of going to prison.
    Faye.

  92. VintageBum says:

    Film icon? Wait wait wait…. Have I missed something? When did she become a film icon? 0_o

    sex. drugs, rock and roll… and a touch of ass is more like it. lol

  93. logan says:

    It’s like this person lives in never never land. Let’s just see what is wrong with this story. First, “One of todays most influential actresses.” Who has heard anyone say, “I want the career of Lindsay Lohan”? Second, “She is amazing to work with.” We have all heard past people who have worked with her say,”Never again”. Third, “She is a classic beauty.” Has anyone asked the above mentioned ladies?” Finally, “A touch of class”. She has about as much class as a fart in church. This hag and all her hag handlers just need to shut it.

  94. bubbly says:

    I wish she closed her mouth in her pictures! I hate that “check out my front-bleached-mother-porker-teeth!

  95. samab says:

    prince chenoa must be in crackheaven with miss lohan.And please lindsay close your mouth!!is that supposed to look sexy?cmon

  96. Michelle says:

    Hi Guys!

    Release the Kracken is actually from the movie…uhm…prince of persia or something. Jeff Bridges was in it . The Kracken is a terrible water monster. It screes (HA!).

    Now carry on with the funny comments!

  97. trh says:

    @madisyn – Move that button! I’m Lindsay Lohan!! I’m gonna have to try that at the Golden Nugget…

  98. trh says:

    Hahahaha prince of persia or something with jeff bridges….?!?! Liam Neeson in the crappy remake of the classically crappy Clash of the Titans… which is a terrible retelling of Homer… it was like the 300 of my generation.

    I don’t have to tell the regulars here that the Kraken is a mythical beast as old as civilization. And yes, it screees.

    Speaking of 300 … I imagine Gerard Butler pausing in front of a news stand and seeing the duck-billed Cracken on a magazine cover: “This… is… PHOTOSHOPPED!!!!” Kicks over magazine rack…

  99. Cirque28 says:

    This seems less the work of stimulants and more the work of HUGE amounts of weed. Not for LL. For the ‘magazine’ staff.

    Prince Whoever: Whoa. I know. We’ll spell her name wrong.

    PW’s Assistant: Dude. That’s GENIUS.

    LL: snorrrrrt

  100. SolitaryAngel says:

    Sextember? What’s next, Fucktober?
    Yeah–then comes Dicksember. She could have her own little Crack Calendar.