Gwyneth Paltrow thinks it’s peasanty to have a bathtub in the bathroom

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Our beloved Dame Gwyneth has deigned to appear in a magazine for peasanty home interiors. What I find hardest to believe is that Gwyneth’s smug, insipid face isn’t front and center on the cover – she only appears inside the magazine in a brief interview about those items she simply cannot live without. You can read the whole piece here, in the form of a slideshow to illustrate all of Gwyneth’s “must-haves”. Some of her picks aren’t too eye-rolly. She likes fresh, seasonal flowers “casually arranged” and she likes those star lanterns that I see in nearly every house in every design magazine. But Gwyneth always has to say something that brings on a groan – and this time, it’s where she keeps her bathtub:

Act, cook, write, sing: Gwyneth Paltrow famously loves to do it all. So it comes as no surprise to hear that she is also a serious design buff. Last year, she and her husband, rocker Chris Martin of the band Coldplay, combined two London townhouses with the help of his architect brother, Al Martin. They restored the period details and added such funky touches as a rumpus room for the couple’s two children and a skull-and-crossbones motif on the library’s mantel. Paltrow—whose lifestyle website GOOP will release iPad and iPhone apps this fall—may one day design her own furniture and tabletop collections. “That’s kind of the dream,” she says. “Maybe when the kids are older.” See some of Gwyneth’s favorites here and check out the September issue of ELLE DECOR, on newsstands August 16, for the rest.

1. De Gournay Hand-Painted Wallpaper
I indulged with one wall in my London living room covered in a gorgeous pattern.

2. Seasonal Flowers
I like single-variety arrangements—peonies, hydrangeas, and white lilies—casually arranged.

3. Darren Almond’s Photography
His arresting, large-scale artwork brings a sense of majesty to a room.

4. Charles Edwards Star Lanterns
I hung three of these at different levels in the stair hall so that we could pass them on our way up to bed at night.

5. Antonio Lupi Baia Tub
It’s in the middle of my bedroom—perfect for a relaxing wind-down and for bathing the kids.

6. Juxtaposed: Religion Shelf
Built-in slots hold holy books—including the Qur’an, Bible, and Tao Te Ching—all at the same level (which is how I like to think about religion).

7. Clothbound Penguin Classics
These gorgeous editions make the books so tempting to pick up, again and again. The ultimate cure for sore muscles.

8. YUBZ Retro Handset
A handset cuts down on cellphone radiation. I use this one for my BlackBerry calls.

[From Elle Décor]

A bathtub in the middle of her bedroom? All of us dumb peasants with our bathtubs in the bathroom. Dame Gwyneth thinks less of us. Also, “Built-in slots hold holy books—including the Qur’an, Bible, and Tao Te Ching—all at the same level (which is how I like to think about religion).” But I thought she was Jewish? Maybe she’s just talking about how she shows off her superficially religious diversity. Same with the clothbound books – like regular hardcovers and paperbacks are too peasanty for her.

Oh, and the retro handset thing is just cool:

goop11

goop21

Photos courtesy of Elle Décor & WENN.

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78 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow thinks it’s peasanty to have a bathtub in the bathroom”

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  1. Bill Hicks is God says:

    Not impressed. My forebears put a metal tub in the living room for the Friday night family bath. It was portable. Let Goop top that.

    One can only hope the thought of a working-class family bath would give her a stroke.

    Finally, unless she converted she is not a Jew. Her father was Jewish. “Jewish by default” runs through the maternal line.

    • jeanie says:

      i think in a way it could be romactic yo have a tub in your bedroom im just a regular type person my tub is where it belongs in the bathroom,but i dont knock anyone for having their house like they want it oh brother! if i had the means look out i would put her to shamei have so many ideas in my mind its a shame i cant do anything with itbut i love to look in other peoples houses its so fun!!!!

  2. lin234 says:

    lol I love how she uses the kids as an excuse too. Like taking an extra few steps into the connecting bathroom of her master room makes all the difference in the world. I mean aren’t her kids old enough to bathe themselves by now?

  3. eva says:

    I understand a lot of you don’t like Gwyneth but this is just getting ridiculous, reading so much into her every word. She just said she has a bathtub in her bedroom. If I had a huge bedroom I’d probably have one too.

  4. penguin says:

    “Brings a sense of majesty to a room” – PMSL.

  5. Cherry Rose says:

    Let’s not forget that the water that goes into that bath tub is only from a pure spring loaded with minerals to keep your skin soft and young looking.

    Oh who am I kidding, she probably bathes in peasants blood, but only of course pure English or French. Americans are too peasanty for the likes of Dame Gwyneth.

  6. gee says:

    She should put out a magazine for us to mock. This sh_t is just too good.

  7. smith says:

    She’s starting to wear me down. My eye doesn’t twitch any more when I read her musings …

    Also I don’t think her man satisfies her (and he seems like such a douche).

    I’m sad for her and her fancy-ass wallpaper. But I agree that single-variety floral arrangements are the way to go. Baby’s breath is the devil’s playtoy. (Gypsophila for the GOOP crowd.)

  8. ladybert62 says:

    How does this woman breathe with her nose that high up she probably has trouble breathing the same air you and I consume. She really is quite pretentious.

  9. mln76 says:

    I had a friend back in college who still lived at home and guess what she had a tub in her bedroom. They weren’t rich at all they just lived in this odd old house that was converted from a factory or something. I don’t think I ever took an actual bath in the tub but we did take pictures for her photography class while drinking or doing the kinds of drugs you do when in college (shrooms, or acid). Oh what fun times. So I’m with Goopy on this one.

  10. Pyewacket says:

    Lenny Kavitz uses the retro phone thing on his cell.

  11. lucky says:

    I am surprised she is on team blackberry rather than iPhone…

  12. Roma says:

    I have the handset for when I’m at home and on a call since I only have my cell. My bff and I talk for at least an hour a day and it makes me feel like a teenager! It’s super comfy!

  13. WhiteNoise says:

    Nothing wrong with having a tub in her bedroom. She could have left out the ‘bathing the kids’ bit but meh, that’s Goopy, isn’t it, wanting us all to know how selflessly she shares her pleasures.

  14. guesty says:

    this bitch. please.

  15. HannahG says:

    I don’t know what my boyfriend would think if he walked into our bedroom and there I stood in the bath – legs spread apart as far as possible, arms in the air with hair removing cream in all my crevices.

    And upper lip, obviously.

  16. brin says:

    In the middle of the bedroom? That seems strange and impractical.
    Oh silly me…I should never question Goop’s choices.

  17. dorothy says:

    She is by far the most vain, egotistical women Iv’e ever heard of. Leona Helmsly had nothing on this chick.

  18. lh says:

    I have that handset as well. I don’t walk around with it on the outside but I use it when making phone calls in the house. It’s super comfortable.

  19. constance says:

    The fact that she has an archaic blackberry cracks me up. HAHA

    I mean come on, “It cuts down on radiation.” Um… Does she not understand how energy is emitted Oh Highest of Enlightened Ones? As if it only “reaches” you if you have the cell taped to your ear.

  20. WillyNilly says:

    “I understand a lot of you don’t like Gwyneth but this is just getting ridiculous, reading so much into her every word. She just said she has a bathtub in her bedroom. If I had a huge bedroom I’d probably have one too.”

    I couldn’t agree more.

  21. Schnauzers!!! says:

    I have a bedroom…but no tub. SOB!! It’s in the bathroom. I guess I’m too peasanty for Gwynnie. My life is over now.

  22. Robbie's Girl says:

    I think the title should say bedroom, not bathroom lol.

  23. Waldemar says:

    The retro handset thing looks cool, yes, but how those it cut out cellphone radiation? As I see it, the handset is still attached to a cellphone and you are still calling with it, you just don’t hold it.

    Didn’t Ugly Betty had a bath in the middle of her LIVING room when she lived in (on?) Manhattan? Way cooler.

    Indulging in wallpaper, what an exciting life she must lead.

  24. rachel says:

    she dserves to be too poor to qualify for welfare

  25. Kiki says:

    My aunt has her bathtub in her bedroom. It doesn’t look THAT weird.

  26. TXCinderella says:

    Yeah, I bet Chris loves all of that. She is weird.

  27. JaneWonderfalls says:

    Well this is probably the small piece of the puzzle that explains why Gwen’s grandmother could not stand her. As she explains on the Chelsea Lately Show.

    http://video.aol.com/video/gwyneth-paltrow-on-chelsea-lately-042511-tv-replay/317680838

    I believe there two sides to every story and unfortunately granny isn’t here to explain her disdain for her grandchild, but some of the things Gwen says in interviews and this arrogance and entitlement I get from her is a big turn off.

  28. constance says:

    @ JaneWonderfalls : HAHA! Thank you. Is it really no surprise that Chelsea and Gwen have g-ma’s that “hate” them.

  29. LIVEALOT says:

    SN: LOVE THAT PIC OF HER IN THE PURPLE

  30. Toe says:

    I see nothing wrong with having a tub in the bathroom.

  31. Rio says:

    All I can think of was my bathtub in one of my childhood homes– it wasn’t in my bedroom but the previous owners had overly decorated my bathroom into a bedroomy place. Plush carpet flooring, flocked wallpaper, fancy cabinets.

    They’d neglected to fix the leaky seal around the tub, however, which resulted in all those lovely accouterments turning into a room full of fungus and mold that no one was allowed to even enter, much less read religious texts in.
    No thanks. Bathroom is bathroom and bedroom is bedroom and never the twain shall meet.

  32. endoplasmic_ridiculum says:

    So when we find her submerged, lifeless, in the bathtub we’ll know:

    The Peasant did it, in the Bedroom, with the Retro Handset……..

  33. Rhiley says:

    Ugh, the Penguin Classics/sore muscles comment was another one of those completely random things that she spittles out during interviews that leaves the reader, at least this reader, scratching her head and saying “Uh?” to herself. What the hell does that mean, Goopy Poo? Just like what did you mean when you mentioned William Bradley Pitt’s mother taught you to throw a dish towel over your shoulder or how raising children is like when the oxygen mask comes down in a plane. You can definately tell that she had New York prep school education but you can also tell she did not go to college. Actually, I am kind of surprised she didn’t go to college. I bet college is too peasanty.

  34. original kate says:

    good lord…no wonder her husband banged that bag of bones known as kate bosworth – she probably didn’t talk.

  35. Hautie says:

    I am still puzzled by the onslaught of all things Gwyneth in general.

    For years there was very little mention of her.

    Now she is everywhere. Talking non-stop. She is hustling like Lohan looking for her next fix.

    And it is getting annoying. What is her end game? What is it that she wants and this is part of the play to get it.

  36. 4Real says:

    Oh lord STFU already GWYN!

  37. Anne says:

    I, too, find the sudden oodles of publicity around GP a little puzzling. Is she planning a split from Martin? I hope not, because I can’t imagine anyone else who could stand either one of them long term! Truly, they are both hideously made for each other!!

    Frankly, that holy-books-thing was way more annoying than the bathtub–I realize she was trying to be politcally correct saying all religious books were equal, but it came across to me as her saying they were all equally irrelevant to her, but they still make nice decorative items. Ugh.

  38. KsGirl says:

    My bathtub is on the ceiling. Suck on that, lowbrow bitches!

  39. Wilz says:

    From eva: “I understand a lot of you don’t like Gwyneth but this is just getting ridiculous, reading so much into her every word. She just said she has a bathtub in her bedroom. If I had a huge bedroom I’d probably have one too.”

    THIS times ten! The magazine asked what her favorite things are and she answered. Nowhere in there does she infer that she’s cooler because she has a tub in her bedroom. The woman-on-woman hate on this site is just plain out ridiculous.

  40. Blue says:

    A bathtub in the bedroom doesn’t seem like a good idea. Especially if you’re bathing your kids. Kids splash you know. Am I reading too much into her saying that the bathtub is in “my” bedroom and not “our” bedroom. Probably but she just irritatesme so much. Have never liked her or her acting. She just rubs me the wrong way

  41. Susan O. says:

    The color grey just sucks the life out of with her skin color being ghostly. Who cares what she says on any subject!

  42. skilo says:

    Us farm girls just bathe in the horse’s water trough. And books well those are for them fancy people with educations and stuff. lol

  43. MariPily says:

    I think a bathtub in the bedroom is just plain weird. Water all over the place…yuck!

  44. Melissa says:

    @ posters 3, 20 and 39…..ITA

  45. Kara Ann says:

    The first house that hubby and I bought was unfinished as it was repo’d during contstruction. Anyway, it had this great huge bedroom (by my peasanty standards), anyway and up two steps in this bedroom was a whirlpool tub. Well, actually the space for the tub as all of the actual fixtures had been stolen. Anyway, my Dad owned a construction company and when he finished it for us, I told him to cover the stupid bathtub- in- the- bedroom- hole because, to me, it was just impractical and silly.
    That’s how peasanty I am, apparently. Given the great bedroom-bathtub, I gave it up! Even now I think that was a good decision, us raw peasanty types never learn I guess!

  46. UKHels says:

    I’m sure the copy of the Qu’ran is well-thumbed ha ha

  47. Denise says:

    On a dull day like this, the Paltrowski never disappoints with the cluster fuck of ridiculous that drops from her mouth. She can compare notes with the President when she attends his $15k per plate fundraiser hosted by Harvey Weinstein in New York.

  48. Nymeria says:

    @ #15, #32, #34, & others – your comments have made me LOL. This entire thread is amusing.

    *comes to a screeching halt* WAIT – When did the handset of my youth become retro??

  49. the original bellaluna says:

    She just needs to shut up. Go away already; give us an opportunity to miss (forget about) you!

    I can get past the bathtub in her bedroom, because I’m sure her bedroom is the size of most people’s apartments/flats. But I cannot get past the “hand painted wallpaper.”

    Goop, please!

  50. fabgrrl says:

    Uh, I think she was just talking about her own (name brand, rich person) bath tub and not talking about placement of bath tubs in general. I’ve seen movies from the thirties, I’m thinking of “The Women” in particular, where rich women recline in bath tubs in bedrooms. I don’t know if that was a luxury thing, or just something they did in movies to avoid showing toilets on screen. Anyway, I don’t think Gwyn just came up with this tub-in-bedroom idea on her own.

  51. gg says:

    Oh MAN I have always dreamed of a lovely tub in a bay window (in an upper story for privacy) in my bedroom, in my imaginary French boudoir.

    One thing that irritates me about certain places – old San Francisco homes and UK homes sometimes have this – the toilet is in another room from the tub. Ergo, if you’re a guest and you want to s/s/s, you have to get dressed again and go out into the hall to go to the john, and if for any reason you need to go again after you get out of the shower, everybody knows it because you have to go in both rooms again, and if anybody is waiting for one of the rooms you might get locked out of where your stuff is. @#$.

  52. TL says:

    I want to fart in her face

  53. telesma says:

    I’m just boggled that she can say she only “indulged” in one wall of de Gournay wallpaper, like that’s a thrifty choice she made. That one wall could have cost six figures, depending on how many panels it took to cover it, and what was painted on the panels. I’d have to win the Powerball to feel like I could afford that particular indulgence.

  54. 9 out 10 experts recommend says:

    My cousin who is American says Gwyneth is a WASP. At first I thought she was making some kind of anology. But I googled the term and realized it was connotation used to describe a rich white person. To quote her “oh, she says that kind of crap because she’s a WASP”. After my little research the next time we spoke I told her “In America you might call her a WASP but in Australia we would just call her bitch”.
    Really Gwynie, we all know we are below you why would bother with us little people?

  55. WhiteNoise says:

    skilo – “Us farm girls just bathe in the horse’s water trough. And books well those are for them fancy people with educations and stuff.”

    :lol: You go, farm girl!

  56. Scarlet Vixen says:

    You’re constantly writing posts on her and saying, “I can’t believe she DEIGNED to do [this]” and, “Dame Goopy has DEIGNED to say [that].” Maybe she’s constantly ‘deigning’ to do this stuff because she’s not as stuck-up as you’ve created her to be in your own mind. Maybe you need to give the “Ugh! Dame Goopy thinks she’s so much better than us peasants!” thing a g*damn rest already.

  57. sassy says:

    Man, this shit reminds me of when Joan Crawford wrote the most amazing book, “My Way of Life”. Joan did it better!

  58. Catherine says:

    She has the money to be as extravagant as she wants. I don’t get the hate. I love the idea of the star lanterns.

  59. Bill Hicks is God says:

    @TL: Wait, no. Fart in a paper bag and we’ll hold in front of her face and let her huff on it. Do be sure to eat a non-Goop recommended organic establishment beforehand. I suggest Taco Bell.

  60. the original bellaluna says:

    @ 9 out of 10 experts – The direct definition is Wealthy Anglo Saxon Princess, hence the term WASP. :D But I’m also good with “bitch!”

    Bill Hicks, you are nasty and I’m loving it! Eat at Acapulco, Taco Bell, Del Taco, and Albertos for the whole day and r-e-a-l-l-y let her have it! ;)

  61. Bill Hicks is God says:

    @O.G. BellaLuna, WASP actually stands for ‘White Anglo-Saxon Protestant,’ but I like your definition too. As for nasty, I think a bunch of us could put our heads together and let the chips fall from whatever Mexican fast food joint they they may, provided Goop gets ‘The Bag.’ ;-)

    There should be a liquid beer fart in there too, you know, just so we don’t leave anything out.

  62. eternalcanadian says:

    Memo to self: My life is over if I do not have a bathtub in my bedroom!

    *snorts*

  63. Liam says:

    Oh Gwenny Poo when will you ever learn? *Sigh*

  64. Janet says:

    First thing on my list when I added on to my house was a cast iron tub not next to a toilet. It’s in my bedroom – so is the sink. It’s a large space and there is plenty of room without being crowded and I enjoy looking out on the meadow below when I bathe. And not looking at a toilet. And not having my toothbrush anywhere near a toilet. And not having anyone wanting to use a toilet while I am in the same room. And I am not that fancy – but it makes sense to me!

  65. e.non says:

    well, i’ve got a friend who has a bathtub in her kitchen. cracked me the hell up the first time i saw that, but it’s one of those old tenement bldgs and that’s where they put them.

    can you imagine paltrow walking into that apt layout?! she’d stroke out…

  66. mike says:

    @Bill Hicks is God:

    White anglo-saxon protestant is the original, the proper acronym for WASP, but colloquially, at least among middle class whites I know, WASP has come to mean Wealthy anglo-saxon princess or people who aspire to be one.

    Like, in a conversation, you’d say, “oh she’s such a wasp!” But never “oh, HE’s such a WASP,” though. Or, when referring to some overprivileged Asian or Indian girl, “she’s such a WASP…” Etc etc etc. Best of all, when referring to Paris Hilton or Kimmy Cakes, “plzzz, she wishes she was a WASP!”

  67. bosc says:

    “Brings a sense of majesty to a room”

    No, a TOILET in your bedroom would bring the majesty. Toilet = throne….see what I did there? Yeah.

  68. Nymeria says:

    Re: the WASP acronym – I highly recommend reading Florence King’s hysterical book WASP, Where is Thy Sting? :)

  69. Chloe says:

    fwiw the bookshelf of religious books is less of a bookshelf or religious books than a work of art http://www.blankblank.net/collection/mikeandmaaike/religion/index.php it was a limited edition of like 50 and stupid expensive. I did think it was sort of superfluous to add the last bit about that’s how she thinks of religions, because that was the point of the piece in the first place and if you’ve seen that piece before you know exactly what she was talking about and what it meant, I guess that she doesn’t think peasants read art and design blogs.

  70. Rio says:

    I will add, the closest I’ve been to “split” living was my shitty apartment in Astoria, Queens (LOVED the area, couldn’t stand the apartment) that had an “efficiency” bathroom– no sink in the TINY (but legit pre-war with a claw-foot iron tub…loved that tub) bathroom, you had to wash your hands/face and do your dental stuff in the kitchen sink. I thought it was grody to the max.

    It’s probably also the Southerner/NYCer in me, but I can’t stand baths in general. The places I’ve lived, you get so sweaty and gritty that the last thing you want to do is stew in your own juices. Showers FTW.

  71. the original bellaluna says:

    Bill Hicks, can you believe I originally typed that definition? But I “modernised” it, so as not to offend. Totally down with the “liquid beer fart” but I don’t like beer, so someone else will have to step up to the plate for that one! May I also recommend we all eat bean & cheese burritos prior to said gassing? ;)

    Rio, I had a FABULOUS tub when I lived in Solana Beach, but it wasn’t like the one you had. I would give my eye-teeth for a tub like that (I’m tall for a woman, and most tubs nowadays don’t allow me to stretch my legs and really relax). And I would put it wherever the hell I wanted! :D

    However, MY hand-painted wall-paper would be courtesy of my toddler, when hubs leaves a pen within his reach. (I just C.A.N.N.O.T. with that “hand-painted wall-paper” sh!t. Like I said earlier: Goop, PLEASE.)

  72. dj says:

    Wait a minute. Did Gwyn — the woman who does everything herself (acting, singing, designing, cooking) NOT paint her own super expensive wallpaper? LOL.

  73. kaligula says:

    such shameless devotion to THINGS. she and oprah and all those other capitalist pimps are so delusional. Mark 10:25

  74. Debbie says:

    As my grandfather said ‘an ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure’ and baby girl weighs in at several tons I’d say.

  75. Anna says:

    If I wanted to really indulge, I would have a bidet by my bed instead of a nightstand. Would save the steps after a romp in the sheets…and not waste so much water as a tub!

  76. Megan says:

    And where is the bathtub in her husband’s house because no one is actually buying that they live together.

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