Amy Winehouse’s boyfriend Reg Traviss speaks: “I have lost my darling”

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Yesterday, the preliminary autopsy results came back on Amy Winehouse, but we still don’t know exactly how she died because it’s going to take weeks to find out toxicology. In the meantime, there is more news. Amy’s family plan to cremate her today in London. Blake Fielder-Civil will not be getting out of prison for the funeral, nor do Amy’s parents want him there. Amy’s album Back to Black has skyrocketed up to number one on iTunes, and I suspect Amy’s music will be topping many charts yet again around the world. But the biggest news today is that Amy’s boyfriend at the time of her death, Reg Traviss, has finally given an interview. He seems genuinely broken up, and I do think he loved Amy and was trying to take care of her:

AMY Winehouse’s heartbroken boyfriend spoke yesterday of his grief over her death – and admitted: “I can’t describe what I am going through.”

Film director Reg Traviss, 35, wept beside fans who paid tribute to the singer outside her North London home. And he said after the 27-year-old’s “untimely” death on Saturday: “I want to thank all those who are mourning the loss of Amy – such a beautiful, brilliant person and my dear love.”

Distraught Reg said Amy had been upbeat and full of life in the days leading to her death. He said Amy had been excitedly choosing clothes to go to a pal’s wedding on Sunday. He added: “Amy kept trying to decide what to wear. She had laid out her dresses to make up her mind. She was really looking forward to it.”

But on Saturday the film director’s world came crashing down when he learned Amy had been found dead in bed at her home. Reg said: “The last three days have been hell. We have suffered a terrible untimely loss and want peace now. I can’t describe what I am going through and I want to thank so much all of the people who have paid their respects and who are mourning the loss of Amy, such a beautiful, brilliant person and my dear love. I have lost my darling who I loved very much.”

Reg, speaking of Amy for the first time since her death, gave an account of her final days that scotched rumours she had been in a drug-fuelled haze.

He said: “She has been full of life and so upbeat recently, exercising everyday and doing yoga. This terrible thing that happened is like an accident.”

Reg, son of a London publican, had being seeing Amy for two years. Amy’s family were delighted. They saw clean-cut Reg as the perfect boyfriend after her catastrophic marriage to junkie Blake Fielder-Civil – the man blamed for getting her hooked on hard drugs. Dad Mitch had given their relationship his full blessing. A source said: “Reg has been dignified throughout his relationship with Amy. The family love him dearly. He’s a good guy. What happened in their life together remained private because he was determined to help get her back on her feet properly. He wasn’t interested in the limelight – unlike a lot of her exes.”

Reg, who spent yesterday with Mitch, Amy’s mum Janis, brother Alex and manager Raye Cosbert, did his utmost to keep Amy safe from her demons. But he spent a large part of the past 12 months working on his latest movie, Screwed. Filming took him away from home. That left Amy to her own devices in London – and at the mercy of those who preyed on her addictions. The source added: “When Reg was around, Amy was a different girl. He was a calming influence and kept her away from trouble. He really cared for her. When he was away working, the parasites always crept back in and dragged her into the gutter.” One of Amy’s last public outings with Reg was at the low-key premiere for Screwed last month.

The exact cause of Amy’s death is not yet known. A post mortem carried out yesterday was inconclusive and the results of toxicology tests will take weeks to process. But the singer’s family believe she was killed by either a heart attack or a fatal seizure. Amy had regular heart palpitations and had suffered a number of seizures – caused by the terrible pounding her body had taken during years of abuse.

A source said: “Amy’s family are expecting the outcome to be a heart attack or seizure and will be really shocked if it’s not. They staunchly believe it had nothing at all to do with recent drug binges. In the end it was her booze addiction that killed her. She had had a number of seizures in the past six months due to the amount she was drinking. She was putting so much away towards the end, her heart just couldn’t take it.”

In May, while on the way into rehab at the Priory, Amy stopped at a cornershop and downed a bottle of vodka. Doctors at the famous clinic monitored her heart and told her she was drinking herself to death. When her European tour was scrapped last month after a shambolic drunken performance in Belgrade she hit the bottle even harder. Two weeks ago, she blacked out three times in a week after vodka binges. Amy recently bumped into her former stylist near her home in Camden, North London, and was so drunk she failed to recognise her.

A source added: “She would drink herself into oblivion. It was heartbreaking to see Amy that wasted.”

[From The Sun]

When Reg and Amy got together, it was widely reported that Reg practiced some tough love with her and told her that he would be out the door if she continued to be such a liquor-soaked mess. But I always thought they were on-again/off-again, especially when Amy looked like a mess over the past few months. I thought Reg had gone off and left Amy to fend for herself. I don’t mean that as an accusation – I think if he did dump her a few times over the past year, it was likely self-preservation on his part. It’s very difficult to watch someone you love kill themselves with drugs and alcohol.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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32 Responses to “Amy Winehouse’s boyfriend Reg Traviss speaks: “I have lost my darling””

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  1. 9 out 10 experts recommend says:

    So very sad. I hope she is at peace now. God bless her.

  2. embertine says:

    Sad. He sounds genuinely broken up about it. I think it’s a shame that some people will judge him for not staying with her constantly, because as you say it was probably a bit of tough love.

    It’s very possible she did die of heart failure; cardiomyopathy is one of the symptoms of long-term alchohol abuse. The heart muscles die because they are poisoned, and they are one of only two types of cell the body can’t replace.

  3. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Reg must have loved Amy to stay with her for 2 years even if it was on and off. To watch her harm herself that way must have been too much for him to bear at times.

    I think the saddest thing about Amy is that it shows however much someone who loves you tries to save you from your internal demons, unless you really want to and fight the demons yourself, then there really is no hope.

  4. the original bellaluna says:

    I hope he doesn’t feel “responsible” in any way, as he was working and away. Sometimes the sober partner feels a duty to take care of the other, and guilt can ensue.

    It’s all just very sad. Such a loss of talent.

  5. Mika says:

    She did seem to look healthier when she was with him, but I think she was already in too deep when they met. When Amy falls off the wagon, she falls hard, and she was so damaged from Blake F-C, I don’t blame this Reg guy if he thought it was too much. I wish he had met her earlier.

  6. kaligula says:

    RIP Amy. happy for you. sad for us.

  7. Lisa says:

    I feel so sad for both. Reg seems genuinely distraught. She looked much healthier and happy when she was w/ him. By the way he’s a good looking guy. Like bellaluna says I hope he’s not feeling responsible. I can tell from these pictures he feels guilty b/c he wasn’t w/ her when she died.

  8. margaritachum says:

    this is really sad but i think he did all he could. amy was lost for too long and didn’t want help and it’s a shame that she didn’t have any real good friend closer when he was away so she didn’t go back to drugs and alcohol and feeling lonely and miserable.

  9. almond says:

    Are all of the hanger-ons and sycophants coming out of the bushes to comment on this woman’s death? If they were truly grieving, they wouldn’t bandy it about in the press. Famewhores in this extreme actually make me sick to my stomach.

  10. endoplasmic_ridiculum says:

    I know it sounds really naive, but Reg has really kind eyes. He has such a soft expression in those photos with Amy. Poor, poor bloke.

  11. Eleonor says:

    He really did try to help, he stayed with her for two years: two years trying to get her sober, I can’t even imagine what does that mean,no one can blame him, Amy was beyond repair.

  12. endoplasmic_ridiculum says:

    Also, I love that he made sure to feed teh press tidbits about Amy being upbeat, doing yoga and exercising… what a guy. He’s no dummy. He obviously still wants the best for her even in death… :(

  13. REALIST says:

    Alcohol withdrawal (cold turkey) can cause very serious, and sometimes fatal, seizures. I saw my mother, who was an alcoholic, have one, and it scared the s–t out of me. I called 911 immediately. Apparently she was trying to quit on her own. We eventually got her to rehab, but it did not stick.
    If Amy was quitting alcohol (doubtful), the appropriate treatment would be to cover her with anti-anxiety and anti-seizure drugs-I have seen orders from rehab centers for 4-7 days coverage as above.
    On the flip side, if a person is still drinking and has a tendency towards seizures, alcohol lowers the seizure threshold, thus making it easier for a seizure to occur.

    Poor, sweet Amy. She really needed 24/7 supervision for who knows how long. We will miss her.

  14. Call Me Al says:

    :( interesting relationship. i wonder what that was like. he sounds like a nice guy

  15. sharylmj says:

    Like everyone is saying… she already did the damage, her family probably isn’t surprised, just really sad. They have been trying for years to talk her into getting help, but you can’t help someone unless they want it. I feel really bad for Reg, he must be heart broken. It’s too bad that she surrounded herself with enablers and users who didn’t care about her when Reg was not around.

  16. jc126 says:

    Throw rocks at me if you will, but life with an addict is a black hole of misery and drama.

  17. foozy says:

    it sucks that they didn’t wait a bit and just cremated her. as a fan i would have wanted to get the chance to say goodbye too…. i just wish they had waited for this to sink in before sticking her in a box and reducing her to ashes!!!! surely they could’ve set their religious believes aside for the sake of the rest of oh let’s see now, what was that word again? oh yeah, the WORLD!!!! how selfish!

  18. Karen says:

    @jc126 – No rocks being thrown from my end. One of my BFFs spent 11 years with a drug and booze addict who was otherwise a decent guy and great father to their kids. Its when he fell off the wagon which made life very difficult. It still doesn’t stop you from loving the person and knowing that if it wasn’t for that horrible disease of addiction, they would still be in your life.

    I love Amy’s music and had a soft spot for her because even though I never knew her, she didn’t appear to be a malicious person. It seems clear that you have been touched personally by the effects of addiction so I would never throw shade at you for your opinions about this subject.

  19. Jana says:

    Even for the past two years, whenever you saw her, she looked empty behind her eyes. I don’t get why a together guy was spending the better part of a relationship with a woman who was messed up or trying to get straight. I never felt like I saw a person anymore with her for years. She looked like a shell of a human being.

    Read Katy Perry’s husband, Russell Brand’s post on her and other drug addicts. It was insightful. They don’t really see you when they’re talking to you. They’re looking past you as their mind is on the next fix or where to get it, etc.

  20. Linner says:

    jc126 – I have had rocks thrown at me for saying the same thing. This site has quite a few self-righteous enablers posting to it. Having lived with an addict (my ex husband) I am not just speaking out of my ass when I say it’s hell and that they will only stop if they want to. I think Reg refused to enable her and that’s what would have caused break-ups and times apart from each other. Unlike her other boyfriends that encouraged it and probably purchased it for her when she was too wasted to get it for herself.

  21. lrm says:

    i have no judgements towards people trying to have al ife with an addict.

    i honestly dont see why people would….
    i dont think there is one ‘right roadmap’ for that anyway….every addict is different and though there are similar patterns, every relationship with one is different, too.

    I dont even see how people could argue against the fact that ‘an addict has to want to help themselves’….
    it’s such a no brainer. Any goal or challenge in life is one’s own. Period.

    Yes, one could force someone to dry out or whatever, but they would not be ‘recovering’ in a personal sense of the word….

    Anyway, all i really wanted to say on this post is how sad I am for this boyfriend and the family of AW.
    She was truly loved and supported.And she expressed and created with her gifts/talents.

    In a way, that is a life-well-lived. To have been truly loved and to contribute something to the world….however young she was-is something to feel at peace with.

    I don’t even know her music-i had to you tube her after she died-i’m one of the ones who knew about her thru her shenanigans….so i’m saying the above out of neutrality.

  22. You did much, much more than was expected of you, Reg.

    Loving someone who is hellbent on self-destruction is one of the loneliest feelings in the world.

  23. bluhare says:

    @foozy: Their religious beliefs require she be buried as soon as possible. How unfeeling of you to call them selfish just because a coffin won’t be sitting there at a public service — assuming they even have one.

  24. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ foozy, first and foremost she was their daughter, their feelings and their loss supercedes ur ‘fan’ status by light years. A fan is just that, u didn’t know her so u have no rights b4 her family and friends, v selfish and strange remark to make!

  25. Wif says:

    I agree with bluhare and Ruby Red Lips.

  26. mzjask says:

    SUPER sad about this one. and it saddens me furthermore, that some people [like on my fb] are calling her a crack head and comparing her to linocent in the sense that she is not an inspiration to people.
    when her ‘Back to Black’ album came out i was going through a break up and every song on that album i could relate to and i would listen over and over again and cry. i am one of those people who listen to Really sad music when im depressed bc it helps me feel like i am not the only one who’s felt this and that it will be ok, with time. so to me, i Did relate. she was an inspiration To Me. and i am saddened by her passing.
    coming from a home with one parent that’s been an addict for longer than you’ve been alive, you start to see them as people, rather than just a “druggie.” yes, my father probably did crack when he was living in skid row [in addition to many other things] but in the end he is still my dad. and at the end of this all, she was still someone’s daughter. someone’s sister. someone’s love. and they cared for her and wanted her to get well but addiction is a cunning and deceiving disease. it’s easy to point fingers rather than admit to your own flaws, eh? smh.

  27. Camille says:

    Sad :(

  28. Vesper says:

    I guess I’m in the minority when I say that I don’t feel sorry for the b/f. He could have done so much more. It was pretty obvious to anyone who wasn’t willfully blind or in denial that Winehouse’s days were very limited and yet her boyfriend, who, apparently, loved her dearly, spent most of the past 12 months on the road. If he had spent even a couple of hours consulting an addiction specialist or reading up on addictions he would have realized that he was in a key position to help Winehouse get the intensive help she required (intensive meaning a minimum of 6 months residential treatment plus follow up care).

    As for tough love, addiction research now suggests that this is no longer the proper approach in dealing with addicts especially if the addiction is severe. Yes, at some point one may have to separate themself from the addict before they are dragged down, but at this point b/f still had other options.

    People say that only the addict can make the decision to get well, but that is only partly true. Family and friends have a strong responsibility to ensure they are familiar with the field of addictions and that they are available to provide unconditional support for a period of time. True UNCONDITIONAL love does not mean turning away and letting the addict fend for themselves. Nor does it mean spending 12 months of the road because it’s your job. What it does mean is putting all of your priorities into helping the addict get well, the same as u would for anyone else who has a terminal disease. Obviously one cannot do this indefinately, and there comes a time one must focus on self care. That being said, the addicts that do make it are typically the ones who have a strong support system in place.

    And, before people rip me apart, I am trained in addictions and have gone thru the emotional turmoil of seeing a loved one die due to his addictions. I also watched helplessly as my loved one’s family sat around and did nothing then cried crocodile tears at his funeral all the while complaining about the costs of his cremation and service.

  29. Vesper says:

    Just to clarify….

    Unconditional “support” does not have to mean enable, or staying in a relationship.

    Even serious, late stage addicts are not beyond help. It’s about getting them into a program that meets the needs of a serious addiction. This does not mean a 28 day program or an outpatient program.

    Saying an addict doesn’t want help is a vast simplification of a complex situation. Many addicts who enter rehab are not ready to stop using, they are typically pressured by outside factors. It is only in rehab, once they have had a chance to heal physically / emotionally that they realize there can be a life outside addiction, and that as people, even one with an addiction(s), they are deserving of love. A huge part of addiction counselling is about teaching a person a new way to cope, to interact w/ others, to think of themselves – a new way to live.

    I`m not sure “relationship” is a good way to categorize Winehouse`s situation. Having a partner who has spent the last 12 months on the road, basically one-half of the relationship, all the while knowing the partner he has left behind is gravely ill and getting worse seems undeserving of the title.

  30. The Original Ashley says:

    I too thought he had dumped her. In the papers when she died it was said that she went on a bender because they had a huge row and he had dumped her. I believe that because I think that’s that kind of thing Amy would need to be pushed over the edge. Doing yoga and the like just sounds odd. I don’t think the paps, who followed her every day, ever caught her at a yoga studio.

    It sounded like he was a good influence on her but I recell that tough love too and I remember how distraught she got when he broke up with her the first time. I’m not saying that he should have had to live with an addict if he no longer wanted to but he became so immersed in her sobriety she depended on him deeply and if he suddenly left her it would be the kind of thing to drive her over the edge.

    Maybe I’m just biased though. I admit when he dumped his fiancee for Amy and started having her show at his premieres and his parent’s pub I thought he was just using her for her name and recognition. I’ve always been a little weary of him, especially when I heard that he treated her more like a child than a woman or girlfriend. He was quick to take his love away from her if she acted out of turn. I always found that odd and not the actions of a man deeply in love or respectful of the other person.

  31. Lucia says:

    Vesper, The Original Ashley, I agree with all of you.

  32. Lucia says:

    He was with Amy for a year (on-off) and not two. In front of Amy’s house Reg appeared with head down, unshaven, wearing the same clothes, but with impeccable hair and eyes looking for the camera…