Johnny Weir: “In a sexual way, I’m gay, but I would marry a woman”


Johnny Weir has written a memoir called Welcome to My World, and for some reason, it’s being excerpted in People Magazine first. Is Johnny Weir that popular? That People Magazine would get the first excerpts? Sure. Okay. Anyway, in his memoir, Johnny seems to finally, officially come out of the closet. Only not really because A) We already know that he’s pretty gay and B) Johnny will passionately and eloquently defend his right to not talk about his sexuality. Oh, and C) Even though he’s sort of coming out, he still adds a big, fat caveat. Here’s the quote everyone is talking about: “In a sexual way, I’m gay, but I would marry a woman tomorrow if it struck me. I don’t think sex and relationships necessarily have to go together.” He would marry a woman? ME!!! No, he’s talking about Lady Gaga. What? You know he is.

Johnny Weir has a memoir coming out soon called Welcome to My World and savvy marketing chap that he is, he’s promoting it by leaking/selling excerpts to People magazine. The big news (or non-news) is that Weir finally, explicitly comes out as gay: “With people killing themselves and being scared into the closet, I hope that even just one person can gain strength from my story.”

In the People article, Weir talks about his childhood when he was often mistaken for a little girl. Also, his often being called a “homo” or “faggot” by middle school students. He also mentions a clandestine affair he had with another male skater he refers to only as “Alex.”

Weir also discusses the pressure he felt from gay websites who “couldn’t figure out why I was such a jerk that I wouldn’t talk it [being gay].”

“A lot of the gays got downright angry about my silence. But pressure is the last thing that would make me want to ‘join’ a community.”

Well, we were probably one of those gay websites he refers to, and I can’t say we were angry so much as sincerely frustrated that Weir played coy for so long. It made him awfully hard to write about or appreciate. What did it say about gay visibility when someone so visibly gay seemed obstinate in refusing to own up to it? How could he be considered a role model?

Weir ends with…

“I’m not ashamed to be me. More than anyone else I know, I love my life and accept myself. What’s wrong with being unique? I am proud of everything that I am and will become.”

And at last, GLBT fans looking for out gay role models can be proud of him as well. The full Johnny Weir article appears in the January 17th print version of People on newstands now.

[From After Elton]

I think Johnny gets to decide how and where he comes out, so I disagree with After Elton. My problem is never with gay people who don’t want to come out of the closet RIGHT NOW because of bullying or the world we live in or because they need to be inspirations to gay kids. My only problem is the lie-filled closeted life. Don’t get a beard and talk about how much you love vadge. Just don’t lie, you know? Johnny never did. He just talked about sexuality in general terms, and never hid his sparkle.



Photos courtesy of WENN. Scan courtesy of After Elton.

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62 Responses to “Johnny Weir: “In a sexual way, I’m gay, but I would marry a woman””

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  1. Lady D says:

    When he says woman he means beard right?

  2. lin234 says:

    Completely agree with that last part. Also, don’t get into hetero relationships on the basis that the woman doesn’t know you’re gay. If she does and is willing to marry a gay man, that’s a whole other set of issues. It’s worse when you hear these stories about gay men coming out later in life while they are still married and have kids. It completely demeans the woman.

    I don’t understand his comment either. Would he be essentially asking for an open marriage? What would be the point?

  3. voodoobetty says:

    Loving relationships come in many forms. I know what he means. Dont be closed minded.

  4. hatsumomo says:

    My, I never get tired of looking at his beautiful green eyes. He gorgeous. And I would totally marry Johhny if he asked me. He can bang all the dong he wants, and we could never get it on with each other, but to have access to his closet and ‘Balenciaga tree’ would be haven for me. And finally! A soul mate to go shopping with!

  5. dread pirate cuervo says:

    If I were a gay dude, Johnny Weir is the one I would want to be. He is the sparkliest sparkle pony ever.

  6. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    That’s exactly a girls dream, marry a gay man who won’t touch you sexually and live happily ever after and if you WANT to have a baby, someone else has to implant or impregnant you.

    YAY FUN!!

    I think not. As a friend/decorator, sure!

  7. Isabel says:

    So maybe he wants to love and commit to a woman and sleep with a guy…or he’ll find the right guy to marry…what is it to any of you? Why should you care one way or another?

    He sounds happy and comfortable in his life. Forcing him to choose A or B is exactly why he doesn’t want to talk about this stuff. Why does he have to make it black or white to make everyone else happy? And why does everyone feel the need to interpret or explain his feelings?

    He’s awesome.

  8. June says:

    I get it? Maybe?

    He’s talking about love for a woman vs lust for a man. What he’s missing is being in love with either a man or a woman. Love, being in love, and lust are three different things.

    It’s like a straight woman saying, “I’m hot for men, but I can see myself spending the rest of my life with my best female friend, whom I love in a different (less fleeting) sort of way.”
    Faulty logic though.

  9. Hautie says:

    I don’t find it odd that he would have no problem marrying a girl. Think of the closet of goodies he has to share!

    He loves fashion and vintage couture.

    And he would have his own special girl to dress daily.

    I recall Merv Griffin lived with Eva Gabor for decades. They were great friends who were really a couple who travel and socialize together.

    I am just annoyed that the media and the gay community, has really turned into bullies trying to “out” famous people.

    Claiming it is for the good of the children.

  10. Lukie says:

    I didn’t need him to “come out” because I felt it was pretty obvious in the first place. He wasn’t hiding anything. He just wasn’t discussing it. Nobody asks presumed straight people their sexual preference, so why bother presumed gay people?

    And I believe ALMOST all people can hook up w/anyone regardless of sexual orientation b/c the heart knows no bounds…

  11. JRenee says:

    Regardless of how “visable” anyone’s sexual orientation may appear to be, no one should be forced to declare their sexuality. The bully needs to stop also but to force someone to be out is not the thing to do.

  12. orion70 says:

    I don’t think you’re supposed to marry someone because the mood strikes you…

  13. whitedaisy says:

    Mr. Weir has integrity in what he says and does.
    I respect him.

  14. bros says:

    whats sad is that his marriage to a woman would be perfectly legal, even though he is as gay as they come, but he can’t legally marry a man, showing how illogical the defense of marriage is when its pretended that somehow its about procreation.

  15. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    I don’t get the whole marrying a gay guy thing or being a beard thing. I could never do it because I need a man who needs me to…in every way. Like in the bedroom. Companionship is great at like 70, if I am single at 70 sure I will marry a gay guy but like in your 20s, 30s, and even 40s and 50s, why?

    I kinda don’t like how he assumes a woman would be ok having a sexless relationship with her husband. Even though I guess a ton of women do even being with a straight man. IDK I still have romantic fantasies and I think the perfect guy is gonna walk up to me any day now and ask me out. LOL I feel that way for all women and I have told single friends that to boost their spirits. I am probably too optimistic.

    I don’t think anyone should be bullied into coming out either. If he wants to keep that to himself I understand.

  16. jackie says:

    I totally get what he is saying!

    My gay roommate of 2 years and I seriously have a marriage. We do cleaning, chores, food shopping together. Like every aspect of our lives is shared, including income sometimes. It was never planned, but we love each other so much, that it just grow into this partnership.

    And the best part is that my boyfriend loves him, and he has a new guy every weekend!

    So I know what he means, because my roommate says I am his wife!

    And I totally agree with @13, it is sad that this is the world we live in.

  17. normades says:

    Women do willingly marry gay men for reasons other than sex (money, children, friendship). Look at Diane von Furstenberg and Barry Dillar

  18. am i the only one who can’t stand him? i can’t even pinpoint what it is.

  19. Marjalane says:

    Johnny Weir came to several benefits I worked at a few years back and I have to say- the dude had better skin than most of the celebrity women there.

  20. Mshuffleupagus says:

    I wouldn’t mind if he slept with dudes, but I would mind if he had any other hags besides me. WE MADE VOWS WEIR.

  21. anon says:

    @LOVE ANGELINA “Companionship is great at like 70″ :-)

  22. Scarlet Vixen says:

    I get what he means. I think people can have deep emotional relationships with people not of their sexual orientation. The moveie “De-Lovely” with Kevin Kline and Ashley Judd is a biopic about that. The famous composer Cole Porter was gay, but the love of his life was his wife. They were married for decades, even tried to have kids together. She knew he was gay and when she was dying she even picked another (male) companion for Cole. It’s a beautiful story, I think. :-)

  23. Roma says:

    @jackie: My best guy friend calls me wifey as well. Like you, we just kind of fell into the routine of doing laundry together, brunching, and crying with each other when a douchebag guy dumps us. And luckily my bf isn’t threatened by him.

    Emotional intimacy with your best friend is amazing no matter what sexual orientation they may be. I also talk at least an hour on the phone every day with my best girl friend who lives across the country. Sometimes we go grocery shopping together, watch the same tv show, etc.

    My best girl friend / gay friend fight about who will move into the old folks home with me.

  24. fabgrrl says:

    I’ve had gay male friends I would have seriously considered marrying. A great looking guy who really takes care of himself, treats me like a queen, and is a hands-on, involved dad to our kids? Sign me up!

  25. KJ says:

    I hate hate hate when the “gay community” tries to drag someone out of the closet. I understand if it’s a John Travolta or a Larry Craig, someone who represents being anti-homosexuality on the outside, but on the inside is just as big of a queen as Johnny Weir. Self-loathing, disgusting people they are.

    But people like Weir, people who don’t want to be constantly pegged as “a gay” or a “homo,” they are entirely within their right to do so. I’m African American, so I understand how fucking frustrating it is when others act like you’re ashamed of who you are simply because you don’t wear a shirt with “I’M BLACK MOTHERFUCKERS” plastered all over it. I get what Johnny is saying. I’m more than black. I’m a person first, and a person who happens to have darker skin, coarse hair, shapely booty and a carrier of sickle cell trait (it’s a black people thang). Johnny just wants people to see him skate and dress fabulously. He doesn’t want to constantly have to represent being gay simply by existing as a gay man.

    I also understand his feelings on love vs. lust with men and women. I’m straight as an arrow when it comes to relationships, but when it comes to sex, 8 out of 10 times I want dick, but sometimes….just sometimes, a chick catches my eye that makes me wonder…

  26. K-MAC says:

    I love this man!!!!

  27. Hollowdoll says:

    I think Johnny is awesome! I wish more people thought like he does.

  28. Shelley says:

    I don’t see any ‘integrity’ in someone who takes such great pride in wearing clothes made from animals who died demonically horrific deaths in leghold or other traps.

  29. Scarlet Vixen says:

    I don’t usually do this but…@Katherine(#26) you’re an idiot. The man is a World Junior Champion, 3-time US National Champion, World medalist, etc. And is still ranked 12th in the world in a season where he’s not even competing. I would say it’s pretty f’ing obvious he has figure skating talent. Tons.

    And I’m sorry, but calling some a ‘little turd’ is just plain trashy. Ugh…

  30. bored says:

    Oh THANK GOD!!Finally!! A gay person who just wants to be who they are as opposed to “joining” some community and the rest of the hoopla. If youre gay, be gay, but seriously… relax. You are entitled to legal rights just like anyone else in the world but other than that… stop alienating yourself. Stop trying to stand out and then complaining about standing out. Just be you. Thats all I ever ask.

  31. Str8Shooter says:

    2nd pic: Greta Garbo (sans bare chest, of course)

    3rd pic: Olive Oyl

  32. Kiska says:

    Love doesn’t define itself by sexual orientation. Love is love and it is great that Johnny realizes this.

  33. Moreaces says:

    So you have to marry a woman to be a friend? why marry someone with no intimacy? Ok off to the next thread

  34. beth says:

    i totally get what he’s saying, though the gymnastics of skating the new and unpredictable mental terrain of his brain just to fully understand what this will mean, tires me.

    i once had a gay(?)/bisexual(?) romantic interest tell me he was bisexual, though from the making out, it became clear to me he wasnt as aroused as he should be, and that made me compare to what he said he had when he was with his boyfriend-with-benefits – he described in full detail THEIR encounters, and it sounded a lot thrilling, (or was that my insecure mind?) – also, he had a habit of holding back from full consummation preferring foreplay and TALKING, for chrissake, which frustrated the hell out of the ready NOW, me.

    we were both so young then, 23 and 23 – he said he loved the idea of a wife, a family, kids, the whole picket fence thing – he was hot as hell, but i ran away. it was SO confusing. i felt i couldnt compete at a sexual level with a guy, and i couldnt live with it.

    but i understand posters here who say they’re married to their gay BBF, and how awesome it is. im not sure, if they meant they’re ‘legally wed’, closing off all options to others for the woman, OR they just FEEL wed, or they have a kind a partnership with both physical and emotional intimacy, with (i bet) the emotional intimacy being a million miles better than the physical, but it’s OK with them.

    to each their own.

    johnny weir is cute as a button.
    no matter how hot i am for james franco, if he were truly gay, i would not marry him.
    i couldnt take the days he wouldnt be up to it.
    hell, i cant even take a straight man who says no to sex/some form of sex even 60% of the time

  35. teehee says:

    Maybe its kinda like what Pete Burns experienced- he is gay/bi, but his wife was the foundation of his life and rooted him in a way his male lovers didnt. Not that he couldnt find that in a man if he looked, but you dont necessarily have to have one or the other. Whatever makes you happy in life, whoever loves you and whomever you love… so be it.

    and yes, I second the love versus orientation thing. It happens anywhere; and often an issue that gays themselves admit is that they define themselves or lives too much by their orientation and it is not necessarily meant to be such a large factor. Maybe more of a whim thing. Sometimes youd like a man, sometimes youd like a woman— I dunno ;) LOL

  36. beanie says:

    I love Johnny. I think he is awesome and is always honest and never one to bite his tongue.

  37. Rosanna says:

    I think I get the gist. He is gay, and a right leaning one. Oftentimes, LGBTs are assumed to be left leaning.

  38. jen says:

    Pfft. Who cares? I just now had to google him to find out who he was. He can have a study group with the 5 or 6 people who actually choose to buy his book.

  39. Matt says:

    I agree with you Kaiser, coming out or self-identifying as gay/bisexual is a very personal thing, and he shouldn’t feel pressure from the media on this issue, provided he is not lying or being a complete hypocrite about it (like many other celebrities).

  40. Ari says:

    @dread i stopped at your comment laughed my ass off and scrolled down to comment – gold!

  41. Nanea says:

    I adore Johnny, and as a former ballet dancer I have to say he’s a much better skater than e.g. Lysacek, much more charismatic, emotional.

    People didn’t want to see Johnny get the medals or join the shows though because they didn’t know how to deal with his unique personality and style.

    Like some others I also have a gay best friend (since childhood, long before we knew about “such things”) who is everything for me, more than a brother, who was the first to point out that my colleague who always dropped in on me would end up to be my husband long before I was willing to admit it. Of course they get along fabulously.

  42. beth says:

    @Nanea: Like some others I also have a gay best friend (since childhood, long before we knew about “such things”) who is everything for me, more than a brother, who was the first to point out that my colleague who always dropped in on me would end up to be my husband long before I was willing to admit it. Of course they get along fabulously.

    Wow, that’s so sweet… and that you still have him in your life! :-)

  43. Shannon says:

    I love this guy. He’s not afraid to be himself, no matter how glittery and bitchy and feather-filled he is.

    I can totally see him marrying a woman and them being best friends.

    I hate the double standard we see in the media about sexuality. It’s so heteronormative. If we think someone is straight, no one is demanding a statement from the roof tops. But if there’s an idea that someone is gay, they are hounded until they issue a statement. And if that statement is at all ambiguous, they will continue to be hounded. It’s ridiculous. Anyone who knows enough gay people personally can tell pretty easily that anyone who wants to be out is VERY easy to detect (seriously, no one ever thought for a moment that Johnny Weir was straight, unless they live under a rock). And anyone who doesn’t want to be out is not living a very happy existence, and really shouldn’t be bothered with media scrutiny on top of what must be really brutal personal angst over it.

    People need to be allowed to come out, or not, on their own terms. It’s none of our business what consenting adults do in their bedrooms.

  44. Confuzzle says:

    Gay OMG NO WAY NO REALLY OMG!!!1111 /sarcasm

  45. whatuseeiswhatuget says:

    Here’s something to ponder on: why is it that when a gayish-looking man says he’s also into women, people always go ahead and label him as being a closeted gay or a liar? Whereas, if a woman says she loves penis but is into some lesbian action, it’s sexy? Why is there this double-standard for bisexuality? I mean, for all we know, Weir could be bisexual or at least, bi-curious. Maybe he is truly attracted to both sexes but just because he “looks” gay and is flamboyant, he is being asked to come ot of the closet. I honestly do not think that’s fair.

  46. beth says:

    i guess what im a little scared of, is a gay man who says he’s bisexual only because he wants to have kids, and a wife to take care of those kids, and it doesnt hurt at all that this entire facade is the most succesfull beard of all – however, he would prefer sex with men 99% of the time over that one woman he loves enough to make her his wife. that’s dangerous, because a very high level of sexual passion for someone can also lead to a very high level of emotional involvement, since you’re connecting with them like no other. so, if you naturally prefer men, your great love affairs are more likely to be men. even while you have a wife. which can be a sad thing for a wife.

    im not speaking for true bisexuals. just men who are not really bi. but the same can apply for bisexuals as well, i think. cause a friend of mine, some days she prefers men 90% of the time, other times it’s women. ah, i have a headache.

  47. maria says:

    I have always loved him. I will marry you, Johnny.

  48. Dirty Martini says:

    I have absolutely no freakin’ clue who this person is. But in the last picture, I’m pretty sure I saw this person behind the tray line serving at Luby’s last week. Mashed potatos, right?

  49. Chris says:

    Love Johnny…you can marry and sleep with whomever you want!

  50. Crash2GO2 says:

    I love any man who appreciates women. Period.

    @Scarlet Vixen: Have you read ‘The Magician’s Assistant’ by Anne Pachett? One of the most gorgeous books I have ever read, and very similar to the story you described about Cole Porter. Now I want to see “DeLovely”!

  51. Hakura says:

    @Hautie (#9)- I am just annoyed that the media and the gay community, has really turned into bullies trying to “out” famous people.

    ITA. Forcing someone to make declarations (especially about something that’s no one’s damn business) is NOT for the ‘good of the children’.

  52. teehee says:

    whatusee: I think it has to do with whatever is for the benefit of men. It is good for men to be manly men, conquer women, or just be gay. Men are aroused at the idea of mroe than one woman or seeing women together, so its also benefits men.
    Whatever serves mens’ purposes, is favored. There are men, and then there are ‘gay men’, shoved into a totally different category, essentially not belonging to men anymore. Men have a hard time dealing with anythign not fitting so neatly or falling in between.
    With women, we’re always sex objects regardless, even if were gay or bi (eg just so long we look good), so its not so decisive with us.

  53. Liana says:

    if he has the right not to talk about his sexuality (which he absolutely does have that right) perhaps he should refrain from playing “wink wink nudge nudge” games about the sexuality of OTHERS. I really don’t find him cute or charming in the least.

  54. EzE says:

    I think people who wear fur are despicable.

  55. Tiffany says:

    Some people wear fur because it is Mother Fu**ing COLD where they live. A lifelong Southern Californian who has been living in COLD climates these last two winters can attest to that!
    Go Johnny! I love him and understand where he is coming from. While that type of marriage wouldn’t work for me. I want my man to want ME all the time, everyday in a passionate way, so yeah even in your..gasp..40′s, companionship isn’t enough, though I am sure for some women it’s fine. I will keep my gay friends, who I love, AND my hubby thanks.
    Girls, find a man with a foot fetish, he will buy you lovely shoes and send you for pedicures all the time, AND rub your feet! It’s the next best thing to a gay friend or Johnny’s closet.

  56. Jason says:

    @bored: “If youre gay, be gay, but seriously… relax. You are entitled to legal rights just like anyone else in the world but other than that… stop alienating yourself.”

    REALLY??? Are you serious?!?

    You need to do some research before you speak because we DON’T have the same legal rights as straight people… not by FAR.

  57. original kate says:

    i don’t think this is any stranger than a man & woman getting married because she’s pregnant, or for money, or security or whatever. people marry for all kinds of reasons, and companionship seems a logical reason to marry. as long as both know what the marriage is about i don’t care.

  58. Hakura says:

    @bored“If youre gay, be gay, but seriously… relax. You are entitled to legal rights just like anyone else in the world but other than that… stop alienating yourself.”

    I’m with Jason on this one. That was an idiotic statement. You know the same legal rights aren’t granted to homosexuals in all regards. Especially one very important regard.

  59. eternalcanadian says:

    Call me naive, but I’ve never understood why society is so intent on figuring out whether someone is GLBT or not. And when they finally do determine someone is indeed GLBT they go and make life a living heck for them–deprive them of the very basic social rights such as employment, enlisting in the military, marriage, children, partner benefits, etc.

    Society doesn’t go around figuring out whether someone is not GLBT. So why the fuss about GLBT? Of course it wasn’t that long ago people that had different skin colour than “white” and those that were not “male” were treated the same. If that makes any sense.

    Who cares who Johnny Weir bangs or marries or lives with? All that matters is he looks good while doing so! :D

    P.S. I do wish he’d stop wearing fur though. :(

  60. Chell says:

    Johnny Weir wouldn’t be caught dead screwing Meg Carlozzi. That’s not it. He’s just using her and other females to get back at and try to break the heart of Keri-Lynn, a singer-songwriter from the south. Story goes, Johnny and Keri-Lynn met at AIDS 88 benefit in NYC on May 6, 2010 and had instant chemistry with one another. People I’ve talked to said Johnny Weir and Keri-Lynn couldn’t keep their eyes off each other even from across the room at the penthouse. It was like watching Romeo and Juliet at the ball; the whole “Kissing You” thing. Johnny was glowing and so was she. But when Johnny asked Keri-Lynn if she would see (be with him?) after the event, Keri-Lynn said no. And as we all know, nobody but nobody says no to Johnny Weir. Keri-Lynn reportedly told family and friends later that she wanted to go with Johnny, but told Johnny at the time that she was tired and felt light-headed. So, instead of playing it smart and asking the lady to a late supper, Johnny reportedly sulked, swallowed his pride and his feelings and told her it was ok. He even said, “Maybe next time.” to which Keri-Lynn agreed. So all Johnny is doing is trying to save face by being photographed with Meg Carlozzi and other girls.

    If anyone wants Johnny’s head to burn or set his whole world ablaze, just get behind and fully support Keri-Lynn and her music and let’s just see what happens. She already has some of Lady Gaga’s fans’ seal of approval and support!

  61. InsideFSM says:

    Wow, Meg. All that preplanning with Tara, J.B., Carin, Satya, Chris, etc. back in January before you went off to West Palm with Chris Benz (as his “girlfriend/fiance”) has finally paid off. But you’re moving in on Johnny Weir way too fast for this to be any kind of real love. And now you and your friends are trying to force (yes, FORCE) via Twitter and other social blogs a double wedding ceremony onto Johnny so that he and Tara can get hitched in the same ceremony in April of 2012 and ALL for PR, publicity and TV??? You, JB, Tara and company really need to cool your jets. Before someone gets hurt.

  62. Giz says:

    Meg, Rachel and interns really need to stop spreading all these insane, ridiculous rumors that she and Johnny are getting married and how only they are going on a vacation. In fact, a lot of friends will be joining them, and it’s someone else’s wedding.

    Meg and her friends are spreading these ridiculous, false stories because she’s insanely fumed and upset over Johnny Weir making a “booty call” to a certain singer-songwriter (Keri-Lynn) on 6/25 at 4:21 and 4:26 AM while Johnny was rumored to be in the same room (bed?) with Meg while in Tampa during a promotional gig at Macy’s.

    To Meg, Rachel and friends: Bitch, please. Get some help.