Rachel Uchitel “would give up everything” to be with Tiger Woods again

Tiger Woods of the U.S. drops his club after hitting on the 14th tee during the conclusion of the weather delayed second round of the 92nd PGA Golf Championship at Whistling Straits, in Kohler, Wisconsin, August 14, 2010. REUTERS/Mathieu Belanger (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT GOLF)

So Elin Woods and Tiger Woods’ divorce has been finalized, and I’m sure there was a gigantic party/waitress gang-bang in Florida last night in celebration. Still, there is the post-game analysis, and it’s what you would expect. According to TMZ’s sources, Elin and Tiger didn’t even speak to each other as they sat in the Panama City courthouse for the final nail in their marriage’s coffin. Elin had eight lawyers with her! Goodness. As far as analyzing Elin’s current mood, sources are split. She’s either “so happy that it’s over” or “she’s devastated by everything that happened and filing the paper and making the divorce official brought home the reality of the situation and it hit her hard.” Also, Radar’s sources have Elin staying in Orlando, Florida, not Sweden. Apparently, she’s training for a triathlon in an attempt to lift this “heavy toll”. Long-term? Sources say: “The reality of her marriage ending hit her hard. She never thought she’d be in this position. She had no idea that Tiger was cheating on her the entire time she was married. She doesn’t talk to Tiger. They almost never come face to face anymore and when they do she doesn’t say a word. This is not a divorce where the parties are going to end up being friendly toward each other. There is still a lot of raw pain.”

As far as Tiger and my image of “the morning after” his divorce became final – an image of DD bras scattered on marble, wilting whipped cream, used condoms strewn about and empty Ambien bottles – well, no one is really paying attention to Tiger’s frame of mind. Except for Rachel Uchitel, his former mistress, and the chatty “events planner” whose indiscreet conversations to friends started the whole public parade of whores. Rachel stopped boning Jeremy London for two seconds to call up a friend and say that she wanted to get back with Tiger. The friend then promptly hung up on Rachel and called TMZ:

Rachel Uchitel has just told a very close friend … now that Tiger Woods is single, she wants him back and would “give up everything” to get him.

The friend — someone we know spoke to Rachel yesterday — tells TMZ Rachel said … “I feel horrible for him. He loved her. But he was in love with me. I hope he remembers that was real, and reaches out to me.”

Rachel added, “I’d give up everything to be with him again.”

Does that include the $10 million?

[From TMZ]

Call me crazy, but I don’t think Uchitel and Woods hooking up for real is the worst idea. They kind of deserve each other, right? And honestly, I do think Tiger “loved” Rachel. Or rather, I think she was his favorite mistress, or his favorite when the scandals started to break. I think she must have had the most dirt on him too – thus, the $10 million payoff and the threats Tiger’s people made to ensure that Rachel kept her mouth shut. There are even rumors floating around that Rachel and Tiger want to get married. To which I say, let them. It will be hilarious.

Tiger Wood's alleged mistress, Rachel Utichel arrives at LAX on May 5, 2010 in Los Angeles (photo by: manero/ Meet The Famous). Photo via Newscom

KOHLER, WI - AUGUST 14: Tiger Woods walks to the third hole during the third round of the 92nd PGA Championship on the Straits Course at Whistling Straits on August 14, 2010 in Kohler, Wisconsin. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

36319, NEW YORK, NEW YORK - Thursday December 10, 2009. Rachel Uchitel, one of Tiger Woods' alleged mistresses, had trouble keeping a low profile while spending the day running errands with an unidentified male. Photograph: PacificCoastNews.com

KOHLER, WI - AUGUST 13: Tiger Woods walks off the fourth tee box during the second round of the 92nd PGA Championship on the Straits Course at Whistling Straits on August 13, 2010 in Kohler, Wisconsin. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)

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36 Responses to “Rachel Uchitel “would give up everything” to be with Tiger Woods again”

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  1. Katalina76 says:

    Add this trollop to my Please Go Away FOREVER list.

  2. guesty says:

    does she think he would be faithful to just her….maybe for awhile…but that’s a big maybe.

  3. YT says:

    Cool. We can look forward to photos of her bouncing her boobs and lips on the links of every prestigious golf course on the tour. The golf association will be so proud of the publicity she will bring.

  4. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    OMG It would be beyond hilarious if he married her. Could you see her with him on the golf circuit? Wearing a tight dress, platform shoes and ghetto gold with diamonds. Rachel will be on the phone of course. Tiger will eff up on a swing and he will curse loudly as he loses, coming in at 2nd or maybe 3rd. Rachel will be tweeting she is wearing 20k in diamonds her jungle cat brought her. Tiger will look like sh*t. There be photos of him coming out of night clubs at 4am look sweaty with Rachel hanging on to his arm for dear life because she is soo drunk that if she lets him go her platform heels will say f*ck this and leave and she will tumbled down to the pavement, whooshing up the tight dress exposes unclothed genitals. Tiger will keep walking and send a manservant to sweep her up and put her in the car. LOL they will arrive home and pass out in the foyer like classy ass people do.

  5. Stronzilla says:

    You know, looking at that picture of her in the green dress I can see where Sean Penn got his fashion inspiration from for the previous post.

  6. Rita says:

    Rachael would “give up everything” for him? Including all the tabloid publicity for a man who is now worth a poultry $500 mil. What a trooper she is. It must be that kind of “LeAnn Rimes crazy luv”. Taking a spin on a man’s whirly-gig will make some women do anything.

  7. logan says:

    Honey, you gave it all up a long, long time ago.

  8. Marjalane says:

    Pretty sure I can hear Elin Nordegren screaming, “That bitch aint getting anywhere near my kids” from here.

  9. California Surfer says:

    Grandma and I want to see Tiger doing some shag time with Jennifer Aniston!

  10. Feebee says:

    Her giving up everything to be with him has nothing to do with her feelings for him, rather her feelings for herself and what officially being with Tiger would do for her.

    At least she can’t give up her dignity as she lost it ages ago.

    As for Elin, I think personal devastation would be closer than elation even that it’s over.

    I don’t think Tiger will make any of his whores ‘official’. It’ll be a cold day in hell that Ms Uchitel would ever be allowed on the golf course, the amount of time that would need to pass plus the work required for a makeover inside and out means Tiger would be long retired before she’d be acceptable.

    No, whatever and whenever Tiger and his penis venture out like that again, single or not, he’ll be keeping it low profile. I just wish his golf game would improve, I can’t believe I miss watching him play.

  11. OhCamille! says:

    I’m guessing that Tiger probably didn’t think his personal choices would effect his professional life. All things are connected buddyboy-your wife is gone, your kids are gone, your reputation is gone and your game is gone! You are officially a big loser. I feel sorry for your mother.

  12. Cletus says:

    I think Love Angelina has pretty much nailed it.

  13. aenflex says:

    Panama City Florida? Is that where they got divorced? Dang!

  14. Po says:

    Can u imagine that woman being someone’s stepmother. Wow

  15. JulieM says:

    Geez, I hope these two do get married. Worth its entertainment value alone. And Rachel will get the next $100 million in her settlement. Go ahead, Tiger.

  16. eyeroll says:

    This thirsty whore needs to SIT DOWN!

  17. whitedaisy says:

    Ugh. Can you imagine the number of STD’s between Uchitel and Tiger?
    If I were Elin, I wouldn’t let my kids within 20 miles of her much less her presence.
    He won’t get back together with her, either way; too much negative exposure associated and too many other women to try.

  18. Sharon says:

    I hope Tiger’s golf game continues to suffer. I feel horrible for Elin…I don’t think Tiger and Rachel ever stopped seeing each other.

  19. coup de grazia says:

    @rita – “a poultry 500 mil”. i love funny typos. :)

  20. Moreaces says:

    He will find some poor soul to marry him, but really, he needs to just stay single and continue on with his slutty ways, so no one gets hurt,, Im sure Elin is devastated and if I were her I would not want to see/hear/talk to him either,, why for the love of God

  21. Annie says:

    Karma is a MFer. Good luck with that Rach!

  22. Belle Epoch says:

    What kind of future does a SuperWhore really have? No normal guy would marry her. Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be? “I’d like you to meet my wife, Rachel.” “Oh yes, we’ve met. A lot.”

    To me this seems pathetic – she’s getting old and probably looking to get married and off the street, and the closest thing to husband material (that is, somebody who isn’t ALREADY MARRIED) is her old boyfriend.

    “The man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy in the position.”

  23. Sam says:

    I didnt think she would be interested in him anymore.
    He’s not married anymore Rachel!

  24. Rita says:

    @#20- If you’re not from the deep south replace “poultry” as in chicken-sh!t with “paltry”. Daddy had a lot of these. Love your catch.

  25. princecastillo says:

    Even if his handlers would allow it and he will do as they want because hes desperate to be back on top and to clean his image up ,men dont marry sluts like her….
    God she looks rough.
    I must say Elin has handled it all really well and deserves every penny..

  26. Moreaces says:

    Honey, you gave it all up a long, long time ago.

  27. Moreaces says:

    Can u imagine that woman being someone’s stepmother. Wow
    I cant imagine her owning a cat. Poor cat in advance

  28. guilty pleasures says:

    Gossip has it that even lovely Elin was not quite good enough for the stuck up golf wives. Imagine this herp-fest ho trying to sidle up to the creme de la creme of private club hierarchy!
    I can see it now, Rat-chel slurs, ‘You gonna drink that?’ to a wife, as she slobbers on the woman’s husband. Kulassy!
    NEVER would Tiger stoop to marrying that thing, he’ll bang her, but not marry her. She’s gross on every level. He is too, but at least he is accomplished at his vocation, where she is only accomplished at giving head. HEY, isn’t there a golf line called Head? Now there’s a marketing possibility for her!

  29. Madisyn says:

    Extort the man for 10 million and expect to be his next girlfriend/wife?

    Yeah honey, good luck with that!

  30. Jeri says:

    I think she is looking forward to her divorce from him if they were to get back together. 100 is better than 10.

  31. gg says:

    Give up what, exactly? :roll:

  32. Persistent Cat says:

    I too think Love Angelina nailed it. Of course she’d be on her phone the entire game and he would just leave her there, on the pavement and send his driver to get her. I’d like to add that he’d probably have the driver take her home while he went back into the bar to pick up one of the last call dregs that’ll totally give him a hand job outside the bathroom. Sigh, true love is beautiful.

  33. Mrs Odie 2 says:

    Elin’s baby is like 4 months younger than mine. It is so hard to raise a baby, I feel bad for her having to do it without the father. Then again, she has the staff.

  34. Queen says:

    What a disgusting woman. Truly hideous inside and out. She was a cheap side piece to a married father, was part in breaking up a family, and still wants to be with him?? Wonder why?! Woman, there are lots of men out there; why don’t you go be with one of them? I don’t like to judge ppl on looks, but she makes it easy. she is so damn ugly. Potato face $**t.

  35. valerie says:

    thank u “Mercedez”