Angelina Jolie thanks God for her powerful, boat-steering vadge


These photos of Angelina Jolie filming in Venice on Friday are too good to pass up. First of all, she’s finally out of that cream and beige outfit that she had been wearing for three weeks straight. I love the grey! I love the neckline especially. Not so sure about the pointy-boobed bra they’ve got her in. It’s a very Mad Men silhouette. Secondly, I think she’s steering the boat with her vadge. Or at least she’s attempting to steer the boat with a body part not normally associated with navigational skills. Angelina is good, no doubt, but is she good enough to steer with, no hands and an all-powerful vadge? Is this a story line from Lost? Chuckle. Radar is now claiming the plot for The Tourist is basically: “Frank (Depp), a tourist who visits Italy to mend a broken heart, who crosses paths with “an extraordinary woman” named Elise (Jolie). Soon, the duo are “caught up in a whirlwind of intrigue and danger” according to a press release for the film.” Needs more vadge steering.

And here Angelina is telling this woman, “No seriously, I figured this out. I can steer it with my… just look, damn it, I’ll show you!”


Angelina: “Dear God, thank you for giving me such a powerful vadge. Amen.”


Angelina Jolie filming in Venice on March 19, 2010. Credit:

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60 Responses to “Angelina Jolie thanks God for her powerful, boat-steering vadge”

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  1. irishserra says:

    Too funny. Thanks for the laugh, Kaiser.

  2. Melanie says:

    pointy-boobed brad
    He is a boob!
    By the way, what happend to her Gia boobs?

  3. anon says:

    yeah where did angelina’s boobs go?

  4. Lilias says:

    ^^^Her babies sucked the fun out of them.

  5. mslewis says:

    I don’t understand why anybody would think these photos are strange. It’s obvious Angelina is being given instructions on how to move while the boat is being shot at. This is how movies are made, people!! Geesh!

  6. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    How crass!!!! LOL I will admit I chuckled but come on…that was…lol

    Anyway Angelina looks like she is stretching. I am glad to see her in another outfit to, she is so freaking beautiful. Love her. Also if you would like more information about the film, its based off the 2005 french film called Anthony Zimmer, check it on

    Sophia Marceau or whatever her name is or however you spell it played the part Angie is gonna play. The trailer looks really good but I have a feeling the American version will be better.

  7. Erin says:

    she looks painfully thin

  8. CeeCee12 says:

    She needs to gain some weight. She looks so much better with another 15. Though my mother got super skinny chasing my large family around when we were children.
    Still, an obsession with high calorie snacks would be good for AJ.

  9. canadianchick says:

    Nah I think she’s popping out another baby on the boat.

  10. Rocky says:

    Angelina looks so lean.. what happened to her?

  11. jen says:

    i really like the pointy dress

  12. Solveig says:

    What’s wrong with her dresses? They are almost two sizes too big. Don’t the producers have enough money to spend in costumes and hair stylists? Probably they spent too much on actors’remuneration…

  13. Laura says:

    I have no doubt in my mind that she can steer a boat with her vadge.

  14. Meow Mix says:

    Oh my god Kaiser that is hysterical.

  15. teri says:

    Love Angelina, can’t wait for this movie and SALT to come out.

  16. teri says:

    As for the boob comment you can certainly tell she doesn’t have fake breast.

  17. Justalark says:

    Maybe those pointy boobs have special super powers like her boat-steering vadge! Machine guns? Satellite signal receptors? Radar beacons? Death Ray blasters?

  18. Oh man, what’s wrong with her nipples, lol :D

  19. sonola trip says:

    That poor thing is so thin! *wince* Her boobs have shrunk, too. What happened to her?

  20. nana says:

    she is beautiful in every angle, all of her pics are gorgeous.

  21. marina says:

    when a woman wit no fake boobs lies face up, te boobs expand or “move” sideways, they do not stand upwards just like that, those which look like that are implants.
    the fabric on the dress seems too tick.

  22. ThunderC*nt says:

    Angelina’s eyes are so flat like she got hit with a traumatic experience and is on some Paxil or Zoloft. Her eyes and demeanor have changed so much in the last year and a half.

  23. Liz says:

    Please read comment before submitting, dear. te boobs expand WTF

  24. sandy says:

    she is so gorgeous, almost too beautiful. it hurts to look at her.

  25. Dhavy says:

    I have to agree, the angles of her face and her eyes are unconventional compared to the rest of Hollywood

    She’s very beautiful

  26. Atticus says:

    Kaiser, that is the funniest freakin thing I have seen in awhile. Thanks for the laugh! Badly needed it after the first round of the March Madness basketball games.

  27. truthSF says:

    @marina, wtf are you talking about boobs expanding sideways? first off, she’s wearing a bra, which keeps her boobs firmly in place, so you don’t really know how are boobs are laying, do you?

  28. Sugar & Spice says:

    Why do her eyes look dark blue here? They look pretty as usual, but I just always thought they were more hazel color.

  29. yae says:

    Fun article. I needed the laugh this afternoon.

  30. lola lola says:

    I am SO over this woman!

  31. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    Oh Teri me to, I kinda wish this movie was already out. SALT is the one movie I know I am going to see this year. Really looking forward to whatever love scenes Johnny and Angie have though for this film. :P

  32. Liz says:

    Me too Lola! There are not enough adj. to even begin to describe how much I loathe her and her family!

  33. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    “she is so gorgeous, almost too beautiful. it hurts to look at her.”

    Oh my word! Really now, this is out of control!

  34. snapdragon says:

    that dress is really badly tailored. as heidi klum would say on PR: “the boobs are not at all where they are supposed to be.”

  35. oh hey says:

    @anyone wondering.

    I think “marina” means is that when a woman with natural breasts lies down, the fall to the either side, unlike a woman with implants whose breasts barely move at all.

    I know there’s been a debate as to whether AJ has real ones or not, don’t care either way.

  36. noonoo says:

    wow has she aged!

  37. Lilias says:

    “she is so gorgeous, almost too beautiful. it hurts to look at her.”

    Are we looking at the same boxy headed, man-jawed Skeletor? You can draw a trapezoid around her cheekbones and jawline in that third pic.

  38. ogechi says:

    Not a fan!

  39. lisa says:

    She looks great. The ugly words does not make them true. People who have seen her in person are always shocked that she is as beautiful as reported. I really don’t care. I am a fan and like her a great deal.

    Looking forward to this film as well as SALT in a few months.

  40. kili says:

    Gross how can people honestly say they think this guant bag od bones is pretty?
    Nothing pretty about that sad has been.

  41. Cheyenne says:

    @Liz: You loathe her children? What did they ever do to you?

  42. lisa says:

    The only people calling her gross are haters who wait for Sunday to post their nasty comments. Why do you care one way or the other if her fan or none fans think she is beautiful. Fine you don’t like her and don’t find her attractive. YET you make a point to stand all high an mighty claiming that our opinion is wrong because it is different then that of yours. Perhaps it would be best if you skipped the Jolie threads. But we all know you won’t or can’t. Just can’t resist telling us how wrong we are and how right you are.

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I behold beauty when I see her. some of you do not. Fine.. but please don’t tell me I am wrong.

  43. Sina says:

    “she is so gorgeous, almost too beautiful. it hurts to look at her.”

    lol This is what every hater is secretly feeling

  44. Lilias says:

    We are allowed to state our opinions just as others are allowed to state theirs.

    I think she looks like a Blockhead. That’s my opinion. I expressed curiosity as to why someone might think she was pretty but no one said anyone was explicitly “wrong” for thinking this bag of bones was attractive.

    And some of us like coming to the Jolie threads and saying something nasty about her. I don’t like her looks, I don’t like her smug holier-than-thou attitude and I don’t like her movies or her “acting”.

    The classic they-must-secretly-like-her-because-I-love-her-and-my-opinion-is-right nonsense.

    Some people just do not find this woman attractive point blank. If you think she’s gorgeous, more power to you. But understand that some people do not share your thoughts about her particular look. We do not secretly think she’s pretty. Trust.

  45. anneesezz says:

    She is extremely beautiful but why is it that she is almost never seen smiling – unless it’s in the script? She just seems like she is super serious and Brad is the total opposite. maybe that’s what makes it work. I dunno

  46. Scout says:

    I throw my hat in the “she’s beautiful” camp – but I do think she looks older than she actually is AND I think sometimes, she looks like she could go from being beautiful to being rather bizarre looking. It does appear her body has almost disappeared!

  47. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    Ahhhhhhhh! my eyes! my eyes! She is toooooo boootiful to gaze upon!

  48. Xena says:

    I just don’t get why ppl think she’s smug? How are you picking up on that? Holier-than-thou? Because she’s been doing charity for 10 years, she’s stuck up? Visiting refugees, talking with them, donating money? I think the media portrays her as a “saint” whereas Angelina herself never calls herself that.

  49. Other Laura says:

    Really? A whole post just for this? Her leaning back while holding a steering wheel?

    Ok, I guess…

  50. noonoo says:

    For what its worth I think she used to be bbeautiful and somtimes she still is but here she looks OOOOOOLD and haggard and depressed. I don’t hate her, I’m worried about her. She honestly looks sick and sorry to drag Jen into this but wow, the comparison! Whatever you think of Jen she has an amazing body and reeks of good health whereas Angie is opposite. Actually i think what reall woories me is that i’m a mum, is this going to happen to me too?

  51. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    Well Noooooo, you aren’t gonna get skinny because you are a mom. The opposite maybe. Anyway Angie has a lot on her plate and on top of that she lost her biggest support system a few years ago, her mother. I sometimes think yea she is to skinny…I just attribute that to stress, I wish when I had stress I lost weight but I gain. Anyway she has six freaking kids. Yea they have help but Angie is a very hands on mom. Uhhhh I think Angie is stunning even at this size, any size, if she drops more weight then we should worry. I am sure its just stress of motherhood and six active kids.

  52. Malorie says:

    I find her a very beautiful woman, she´s always been, but I find her also too skinny lately.

    I think she was a lot sexier when she did Lara Croft, because she was athletic there, now she´s just skinny.

    Maybe it´s because she has six kids to take care of, but maybe it is because of this sense of beauty that now reigns in Hollywood, which I find INSANE.

    By the way, Kaiser, what a good laugh!!! XDDD

  53. Beth says:

    The “too thin” comments are stupid and more of an attack than truth. She really doesn’t look much smaller than any other time. Before people say “Tomb Raider”, Angelina trained and bulked up for months for those movies. I remember the eating disorder comments for the “Basterds” premier. When somebody posted a side by side of the premier with “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” she looked pretty much the same. Angelina has always had a mature look, like Cate Blanchette and Kate Winslette, but saying she looks like old or in her 40′s-50′s is ridiculous. She looks great and very pretty.

  54. Malorie says:

    @Beth: I´m a great fan of hers, and didn´t mean it as an attack, though you may think what you want, of course, but I think that the standard for Hollywood is becoming too thin. For her, for Renee Zellweger, and for a lot of people.

  55. michellllle says:

    Yes she’s had way to much exposure to the point she’s become a bit tiresome but the woman is gorgeous, in my opinion. As for her size, better too thin then too fat. The hair on the other hand is awful. I think the box head comments are a result of a dated do which does not flatter her features. Moreover, while I understand everyones’ desire to cover her forehead, the bangs & length which can make one appear more youthful do the opposite in her case. I do love nuetrals & despite a lousey fit she looks lovely in grey.

  56. Maritza says:

    She used to have big boobs, what happened to them? I imagine that with all the weight she has lost they must be sagging down to her waist by now.

  57. chessie says:

    Gosh, she looks awful. No flesh or muscle on her, just sinew and bone– look at how the dress’ arms are just an excess of fabric. And that gray does nothing for her.

  58. Hahaha this is the best story I have read today.

  59. peacemaker says:

    She really look beautiful, nothing wrong with the bra, its the material cloth she is wearing that make a bad shot, and the position needed in the film. Beside, she is the only skinny woman that look good, mostly top model are flat chested, some have breast implant, Angelina is a natural born beauty. This one will be a good one. Hope she and Brad makes more movie every single year. This way she and Brad can help more in their charity project. More Power to this family. love them.

  60. Natasha says:

    … Why are the windows busted out of the front of the boat?