Satirical blog perfectly mocks Dina Lohan’s Shoehan line

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Here’s Dina promoting the real Shoe-Hans at Trump Plaza on October 8th. Image thanks to .

Someone has created an absolutely fabulous joke blog mocking Dina Lohan’s shoe line “Shoe-Han.” Great name, right? Really, everything about it was just ripe for the mocking, from the terrible name to the fact that no one would want to wear anything designed by Dina Lohan, even on their feet. The only way I could be convinced to is if Dina’s face were emblazoned on the soles. Then I could step on her everywhere I went.

Dina’s supposed to have the shoes out by Mother’s Day – that gives her quite a lot of time to come up with something that doesn’t completely suck. In the meantime, the fabulous blog “Shoehans” has some joke shoes that Dina supposedly designed. And I swear if I didn’t know it was a joke blog from the get-go, I could absolutely believe that Dina really did design the shoes. They’re perfectly stupid.

There’s a pair of shoes with fellow E! reality “star” Denise Richard’s face emblazoned on them. Golden pumps, no less.


I and Denise Richards were both on reality shows on the E! Entertainment Television Network run by Ted Harbert who gave us both a chance luckily for her she got to keep her show(SHOWHAN LOL) but I did not, in any case she deserves a SHOEHAN.

[From Shoehan]

I love the “I and Denise Richards” part. There is a subtle way to nailing Dina’s stupidity. Someone who does know you don’t say “me,” but doesn’t know which order the “I” goes.

The creepiest Shoehans are the patent pleather heels with the My Little Pony attached heel. Dina markets it as “Be sexy and also you will appeal to children.”



This idea came to me in a dream JUST NOW AT 1:05AM EST I dreamed about beautiful young women prancing around Roosevelt Field Mall, maybe at the Ruby Tuesdays, in their sexual yet maternal new SHOEHANS

[From Shoehan]

The absolute best Shoehans are the boots which are either made for Jews or to celebrate Hannauka. It’s not really clear. Anyway, the faux-Dina says the boots are “reversible” – but look what she means by that.


Genius, right?

MENORAH JEWISH SHOEHANS- What should I call this new line of SHOEHANS: JEWHANS or SHOEHANNUKA?? I will start taking your votes now! (they are REVERSIBLE as you can see in the pictures below)

I work in Hollywood California therefore I know that Hannika is right around the corner. I also have my LISPH (Long Island SHOEHANS Production Hub) that is located in Long Island and of course run by Hebrews. Even though I am of the Christian persuasion, I will never forget about my business investors, lawyers, and my childrens’ agents when crafting my artistic visions through footwear.

[From Shoehan]

Personally I vote for Jewhans. I bet real Dina Lohan really does believe she’s crafting her artistic visions through footwear. Extra points for the classic misspelling of “Hannika.”

The site doesn’t have much information on it (the “About” section is filled out with, “I don’t know what this is for, obviously this internet page is about SHOEHANS aka shoes for all, look for them at every store soon” but I can’t help but wonder if this is from the same guy who did such a brilliant job crafting Dina Lohan’s fake Twitter account. Everyone believed it was really her for a while because the tweets were just dumb enough and just self-centered enough. And that faux-Dina didn’t understand Twitter’s 140 character rule. That account, while fake, hasn’t been closed down yet and still has some priceless gems. Check it out for more on the “toxic parent” and “not Christians.” Dina really is better comedic fodder than Lindsay.

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20 Responses to “Satirical blog perfectly mocks Dina Lohan’s Shoehan line”

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  1. Green Is Good says:

    Hagzilla looks like she’s about to stomp on Tokyo.

  2. JayBird says:

    ^I will admit, I did cherry pick and put up the absolute dumbest photo of Dina I could find.

  3. DoMaJoReMc says:

    That would have been ANY photo of Dina Lohan!

  4. GatsbyGal says:

    Jaybird, you chose good. Hahaha, what a dumb face she has.

  5. Megan says:

    my 5 yo would kill for those my lil pony shoes…lol

  6. JayBird says:

    Yeah to be fair, it wasn’t like I had to search long and hard, it was just a matter of wading through so many viable options.

  7. Shannon says:

    “and of course run by Hebrews” LOL

  8. cuppycake says:

    Oh shit.
    Lady GaGa will soon be dressed up in My Little Pony heels, mark my words.

  9. TwinkleToes says:

    The menorah is reversible. Great story. Now when are you going to do

  10. Firestarter says:

    I wonder if ShoeHan will make orthopedic shoes?

  11. Lantana says:

    That’s so cool that her line will be out by Mother’s Day. When you think of Mother’s Day, who pops into your mind first if not Dina Lohan?

  12. Emily says:

    God, that blue shoe looks like a fucking plaster cast, only instead of getting her friends to sign it, she put studs on it. You know, sunscreen companies really should use her in their ads, I’m sitting inside and her face is making me want to put sunscreen on!

  13. Shaquisha says:

  14. graduate says:

    ha ha ha…. the ShoeHans sight is a scream — its so funny — who ever did it must like have a degree in comedy or something.

  15. Amy says:

    I think you are wrong… the site is the real ShoeHans sight — the My Little Pony shoes are nicer than the blue cast thingy Lindsay’s mom is “wearing” You so obviously photoshopped that.

    I want a pair of my little pony pumps. they are awesome.

  16. The blog is genius, but it’s not mine! Glad to hear you’re still enjoying the tweets, though.

  17. Shoeman says:

    “The creepiest Shoehans are the patent pleather heels with the My Little Pony attached heel. Dina markets it as “Be sexy and also you will appeal to children.”

    Nothing sexy is there

  18. Any1 can help us search this post. It’s title is Great PGA Tours

  19. Mary says:

    ha! Very cute shoes! )

  20. Jhon says:

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