Solange Knowles felt unsafe in the ‘white space’ of a Kraftwerk concert

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Call me a heathen, but I honestly could not name one Kraftwerk song before today. I know I’ve heard of Kraftwerk and I knew them as a German EDM band (before EDM was EDM). I honestly didn’t know Kraftwerk was still around, let along that they were still touring. So, this entire story was a major education for me. Kraftwerk is still a thing, they still tour and they played a show in New Orleans a few nights ago. Solange Knowles lives in New Orleans with her husband and son. Solange, her husband and her son all went to the Kraftwerk concert. And when they tried to dance – AT AN EDM CONCERT! – some white folks got salty about it. Solange explained what went down on her Twitter (you can see her Twitter feed here, I’m just copy-and-pasting her tweets for the sake of space):

Let me tell you about why black girls / women are so angry….I took my son, his friend, and my husband to see Kraftwerk in New Orleans…Was very excited to dance and enjoy a band I love.

We are 4 of about 20 black concert goers out 1500 here. 4 out of maaaybbe 20 out of 1500.

We walk in, and one of my favorite songs, Machine, is on. I’m excited to tell my son about how hip hop sampled Kraftwerk. We are dancing.

4 older white women yell to me from behind, “Sit down now” . I tell them I’m dancing at a concert. They yell, “u need to sit down now”… We are at an ELECTRONIC and DANCE music concert and you are telling…not asking me…to sit down. In front of my child.

They proceed to throw something at my back….

But in this moment, I’m just going to share my experience… So that maybe someone will understand, why many of us don’t feel safe……in many white spaces… We don’t “bring the drama”….Fix yourself.

Nobody goes to the Kraftwerk show with their kid “looking for “drama” But that’s how u guys like to spin this.

My son just confirmed it was a lime. Smh

Peeps try to give POC, a “u can only speak out racism 3 strikes…or U r the problem” card.
Some can kind of trust u the first 3 times…

And last thing… I see folks saying “Well u live in Louisiana”….but I say I live in a city w THE most incredible, beautiful black. folk.

[From Solange’s Twitter]

You’re going to throw a lime at someone’s back because they’re dancing to Kraftwerk? No. That is unnecessary. That is rude. That probably constitutes assault (misdemeanor assault, but still). Also, since when is it super-gauche to dance at any concert? It’s not classical music! The only time I went to a concert and people did NOT dance, it was Tori Amos (I’m a ‘90s girl, so sue me) and that’s because Tori’s songs aren’t super-danceable, but even then, that’s the exception to the rule. People get up and dance at concerts. It’s one of the reasons I don’t go to concerts. Because it is known. People will dance. It was the lime-throwing bitches who were rude. Also rude? The people yelling at Solange for telling her story:

Again, unnecessary. Why are people so consistently pissed off when black people tell stories about their lived experiences of being black in “white spaces”??

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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284 Responses to “Solange Knowles felt unsafe in the ‘white space’ of a Kraftwerk concert”

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  1. original kay says:

    This is most likely be very unpopular, but how is this a race issue?

    rude, yes. assault, yes

    but because she is black, or because she was standing and dancing in the way of the people behind her?

    more to this story. sounds to me like they asked her to sit or something and she got in their face, and they responded like idiots, but not because she is black. maybe because she is rude too.

    • MP says:

      I don’t get the race aspect in this story either. The woman was wrong to throw anything but depending on the seating maybe that was not a good place to dance. If it has fixed seats there may not be a lot of room and you are basically rubbing your butt to somebody’s face.
      Had they said something racist it would be different but obviously they didn’t since Solange would definitely had said that.

      • Osito says:

        It’s a race issue because she was aware of her position in the crowd, and her aggressors were not.

      • qwerty says:

        >of her position in the crowd,

        Of what?

      • MC2 says:

        qwerty- she said that she was one of the only black people in a concert full of whites. Her ‘position’ was one of a limited amount of minorities in a crowd of the majority.

      • Osito says:

        MC2 got it.

      • LadyJane says:

        She went to a concert and some people were rude to her. Mountains out a molehill. The amount of times that happened to me wouldn’t be worth writing about. She might have been in a minority because she went to a band that not a lot of black people like, but this wasn’t a racist issue… that is what she brought to it with her interpretation of of the evnts. Did someone use a racial slur? Did anyone mention race or colour? I know we need to be sensitive to issues regarding race, but there are too many people with real race problems to address to give too much noise to this non-event. Those a-holes probably would have thrown a slice of lime at anyone blocking their view, regardless of skin colour.

      • LolaB says:

        The Orpheum is an old theatre with fixed seating. It is not a dance-friendly venue, so I don’t know whose idea it was there to book Sprockets.

      • Scotchy says:

        I too don’t get the race card, I am a beige woman, that listens to music in which most times the audience is predominately white. I have never once felt unsafe in these situations..
        I do know that if I was in a seated section, and someone rolled in late, then stood in front of me ( rather than an aisle or to the side) and danced thus blocking my view and ruining my experience I would ask that person to move. I would be polite about it..
        This has nothing to do with race, it has to do with someone not respecting other people around them.
        Sounds to me like it just escalated because there was no kindness in the exchange. Who knows how rude Solange was and vice versa..
        Whole thing isn’t a big deal..

      • annaloo. says:

        My brown face has been the only one in a sea of white faces countless times at shows over two decades: Morrissey to Fleetwood Mac to Ministry to even Matchbox Twenty. I love rock and I love new wave. Never once did I ever feel like I did not belong or conscious of my skin color in those places. Admittedly, that was MY experience, and many of those shows had audiences that ranged from amazing to awful, but never once did I feel like my race or the audience’s race was ever a thing at any of them. I also have not felt racially intimidated at a rodeo and a Nascar event that I attended for work, both events I had fun and felt no hostility even though I was clearly in the minority for demographic representation.

        I cannot speak for Solange and her filters on the world, but I don’t feel comfortable calling this a racial incident. Yes, those women were sad as hell to throw a lime at her, and yes, there are issues of racial intimidation that happens in crowds, but I don’t feel this was the situation here. If anything, I feel, like Lena Dunham last week, Solange is projecting something that is in her head.

        And who brings limes to a concert?

      • cakecakecake says:

        I can’t imagine what would have happened if a black person would have done that probably assault charges and the cops would have been called and a arrest.

        if the tables were turned, man, oh, man.
        I hate when others downplay someone else’s experience. A GROUP of white women and her and her teenaged son were ONLY dancing. This is deplorable and I would have snapped. Did anyone see the race related insults?? but still folks say its not race related. SAD.

      • Cran says:

        I read Solanges essay. Those women got up & danced & apparently said some nasty things referring to Solange & her group. Also Solange never said the women were racist she said they were incredibly disrespectful. Objecting to her dancing by shouting at her & pelting her with half eaten citrus? And then standing up to dance to songs they enjoyed? At the least there is a certain amount of privilege working there.

    • The Gift says:

      Are you for fucking real? She was there and you weren’t so why are you doubting here. Why should they tell her to sit down in the first place? That would make me rude. This is exactly what she’s saying; you kinda get 3 strikes and you might still not be believed

      • The Gift says:

        And then also look at the responses she got for sharing the story and come back and say it’s not a race issue. Nahhhh I’m tired of white folks who will never acknowledge their enormous privilege and that racism exists

      • Wren says:

        The initial incident? I’m not seeing how that’s racist. The people were being rude, sure, but it doesn’t sound like it was because she was black. It may have been, but it’s also very possible she was blocking their view and they got pissed about that.

        The response to Solange talking about this, though? Hella racist.

      • qwerty says:

        @Wren agree.
        Not too long ago a total stranger screamed at me for walking with my dog through a public garden-thingy because I stepped on some plants. It wasn’t her property, she just didn’t like me walking my dog there (who was just smelling things, not peeing) . She didn’t tell me to get out, she screamed at me like I was a little child. This could be very easily interpreted as a race thing, except we are both white.

      • MC2 says:

        qwerty- okay….but what if you were black? Since you weren’t, you were able to say that it was definitely not a race issue. Great. But if you woke up black tomorrow and these sorts of interactions suddenly started happening to you much more frequently (being disrespected for no reason) would you gather then that some of the instances would be due to race? How would you pick which interaction was because the person was racist vs just a pos to everyone?! Would you just give up and decide to not feel racism since you couldn’t be 100% sure on each interaction? The line of thinking that the black person has to prove that it was racist is crazy making & denying their truth. Especially since white people have gotten good at being racist while not ‘showing it’.

        We, I say as a white woman, cannot pick a memory out of our grab bags to describe a black woman’s interaction like this since none of the memories we grab will be what she is describing. I have not been the victim of implicit racism so I cannot take from my own experiences to describe hers. Rather I should shut up & listen.

      • qwerty says:

        “But if you woke up black tomorrow and these sorts of interactions suddenly started happening to you much more frequently (being disrespected for no reason) would you gather then that some of the instances would be due to race? How would you pick which interaction was because the person was racist vs just a pos to everyone?!”

        You absolutely have a point here and I have no idea what I’d do. It’s not all… um, black and white.

        We’ve all seen instances where a black person turned any criticism of themselves into a race issue. See: Nate Parker and his rape case. But there’s also plenty of white people who’ll see something that’s blatant racism and do crazy amounts of mental gymnastics to see it as something not related to race at all. It’s a mess.

        I lived in an affluent country as a person coming from a relatively poor one (the kind that supplies maids to the one I was in), with an obvious accent. I had shop assistants look at me funny and be like “Oops, your credit card is not working! Again! What a shame”, kids in shops laugh at my accent etc. It’s easy to get into this mindset that everyone treats you differently after a while in an environment like that. That said, I chose to see it as others’ personal issue and approached everyone in a positive way and overall had a good time for the couple years I lived there. My family member on the other hand got stuck in this “They all think they’re better than me” mindset and even now, after having lived there for years and years, still doesn’t feel at home there.

      • Mary Mary says:

        Solange kicked her brother-in-law. Who has kicked their brother-in-law? I don’t agree sometimes with my in-laws, but I have never kicked any of them. Have you? Who does that? Acting out much?. Solange has behavioral issues, and creates drama while she acts out petulantly. Solange has a reputation for “being difficult”. See Wowzer’s remarks and others who have worked with her.

        I would most likely believe any black person who claimed racism before I would believe Solange because of the behavior and reputation that precedes so much that she has created while working with others. Solange has a credibility issue, that isn’t racism, but more to do with Solange’s own behavior. She rides on Beyonce”s coat tails, nothing wrong with that, but she is dependent on Beyonce’s fame to assist her career. At the Coachella concert last year, many never even heard of Solange before Beyonce. introduced her from the stage. Yes, she is in Beyonce’s shadow and probably frustrated that she is known as Beyonce’s sister with less talent to back her up.

      • kay says:

        qwerty- How about you tell me about my “enormous white privilege”. Im tired of you “black folk” presuming everything is racist. Solange Knowles is well known to be a witch to people and the police should have arrested her for hitting Jay-z. Oh and Solange doesn’t have a “position” anywhere and perhaps that is her problem.

      • qwerty says:

        @kay

        Scroll back up. Pretty sure you’re not talking to me…

      • Osito says:

        @kay Were you directing that toward me? I apologize for my lack of clarity; by “position” I was simply referring to the fact that she was one of the few phenotypically black people that she was aware of in that space.

        If you’re interested in academic, journalistic, or anecdotal perspectives on white privilege, there are many resources available to you through Google. If I were you, I’d also look into the problematic nature of “sweeping generalizations” within rhetoric. It’s hard for “folk” to take your attempt to connect seriously when your argument lacks logos and veers so wildly into pathos.

    • Cdoggy says:

      I agree. I don’t think this is a race issue at all. I get irritated sometimes too when people stand up the entire concert too. Sometimes I just wanna watch for one minute. I get that it is an EDM show, but sometimes you just wanna watch the stage for a minute and see what’s happening and you can’t do that if others are standing g right in front of you the whole time. Regardless, not a race issue. And, Solange is known for flying off the handle. Racism is real, but I don’t think this is it in this instance.

      • KB says:

        The women ended up getting up and dancing. Is she supposed to sit until they also feel like dancing? If you go to a concert and expect people to sit because you want to sit, you shouldn’t go to concerts. And as I posted below, I’m only 5’1, so I can’t ever see anything and even I think that’s absurd.

      • Naya says:

        “I get irritated sometimes too when people stand up the entire concert too”

        As someone who grew up around musicians and has worked at a few venues, musicians **hate** this, especially when the music has some kind of danceable beat. I cant tell you how many jokes I’ve heard over the years about that “guy in the third row” or that “woman in the green jersey”. Sure it’s annoying to other audience members when some prim lady who knowingly came to an EDM concert wants to curtail their fun, but its worse for the artist because they take it as a statement on their set and that can really throw them off. Just stand up ffs.

      • Keats says:

        I’m assuming you didn’t assault those annoying people because a) you are most likely a good and reasonable person and b) you understand that other humans deserve to be treated at a certain level of decency. Guess which doesn’t apply to racists interacting with people of other races?

      • Wowza says:

        Two thoughts:

        1) I think a kraftwerk concert is actually a bit like a classical concert. Calling it EDM is really misleading, it’s some of the very earliest electronic music. Listen to some of the music online, look up photos of the recent concerts. The performances these days are like a string quarter except with 4 older guys manipulating electronic instruments. I can see how dancing at one of their concerts would be, like, weird. If everybody else is sitting and just watching. Like, no one should throw limes, but I’m pretty sure I would cast l shade at Solange, just because I would be like, “who is this coked up person trying to prove they’re the free-est spirit dancing at a kraftwerk concert.”

        2) My friend worked closely with Solange for a couple years, I don’t want to reveal too much, but he was basically *the* person in his company who was tasked with dealing with her, had a lot of one on one with her. He says she is the worst person. Like, evil– demanding, childish, and so butthurt that she’s not Beyoncé. I’ve been there when she (or one of her posse) called him and screamed at him, not pretty. I’ve worked at an event with her, and I have to agree– she’s a really difficult person. Has nothing to do with being black, she’s just a huge a hole. And in my opinion, her music isn’t good enough to justify it, she’s just this huge poser with a bad attitude. When elevator-gate happened my friend was so happy because “now everyone will know what she’s like”. (Funny because now the conventional wisdom on that is she was defending her sister).

      • Wren says:

        It’s perfectly possible that the people throwing limes were simply rude. I’ve seen behavior like that in many places, and it has nothing to do with race and everything to do with people being rude idiots. No, you shouldn’t throw stuff at others, that’s very wrong, but you can throw stuff at someone without being a racist. Solange was probably blocking their view, they got pissed and reacted rudely. If some white girl had been dancing in front of them they’d probably have done the same.

      • K.T says:

        @ Wowza: I didn’t really come on here to be any kind of Kraftwerk info-dude (!) but I actually question quite a bit of the stuff that’s being laid down here. wth! Kraftwerk are a really, really old group, with a long line of changing players, but it is NOT like going to a ‘string quartet’! It’s prob like going to a Synth-Rolling Stones/New Order type gig. I mean, they’re known as early kraut-rock…no one needs to genuflect!!!

      • Lola says:

        @Wowza, I’m horrified. What a nasty person Solange is, I hope one day another video of the real her finally puts an end to her life of privilege.

      • Osito says:

        @wowza: I haven’t met her, but she has always seemed like one of the absolute worst to deal with on a personal level (I know people who know her people, and if the two are anything alike, which the side I know always claims, she definitely is.) That said, I dig her style and her commitment to supporting other art/artists. And all of *that* said, her being a jerk doesn’t eliminate her right to define a situation as racist if she sees fit. There are no perfect victims.

      • geekychick says:

        This is what I don’t get. concerts are for dancing, unless it’s classical music. I haven’t seen people sitting down at any concert until I watched a concert on TV-it was in Britain, I think: I remember being perplexed why would people go to a concert of a band they don’t like, if they’re just sitting around?

        Pearl Jam-everyone was out of the seats,
        Rolling Stones-everyone dancing
        Sting-everyone dancing and singing
        Natalie Cole-the same
        domestic singers, even in Carnegie Hall in NYC-the same
        p.s.: this was Kraftwerk, what are you doing watching Kraftwerk if you’re not dancing? *boggles the mind*

      • Wowza says:

        @K.T. Haha I might have swung a little too far in the other direction trying to explain that they aren’t EDM, which is the impression a lot of commenters got from the post. But I stand by my general point.

        When you say this concert was probably like seeing New Order or the Rolling Stones, I have to disagree. Those bands are both emotional and very high energy. Kraftwerk is minimal, and they literally stand behind podiums the whole time. Their music has always been respected, but there’s been a recent movement of elevating them to the realm of “important artists” (deservedly) with shows at the Guggenheim and such, and yeah, I think a lot of people are starting to see their music through the lens of “modern composition” versus pop music. I’m pretty sure they played a concert series with Steve Reich and Philip Glass recently. So some of their concerts really do have more of a serious vibe than a dance music concert. I don’t know about this New Orleans show, I wasn’t there.

        Also– super important. Apparently this most recent Kraftwerk tour is a 3D show. They’re are 3D projections behind the band. The audience is wearing 3D glasses. I bet people were sitting so everyone could see the projections. And there’s Solange dancing.

        I’m not saying Solange needs to have “respect” — That’s one of those effing dog whistle words that I hate when attributed to POC! Highbrow, lowbrow, Kraftwerk straddles the line. Either way, no art is more important than human dignity. But what I’m saying is there are shows where it would definitely be out of place to be dancing around. It honestly just seems to me that Solange did not care about the vibe of the concert and was being very attention-seeking, blocking people’s view of the 3D show. I would be saying the same thing if it was Taylor Swift (could see Tay doing this), Jared Leto (ditto), Mike the Situation or anyone else. Solange is allowed to dance and people are allowed to be like “wtf dude, literally everyone else is just sitting and appreciating the music, and here you are.” The people who were nasty to her were rude, and Solange was probably acting like her huge a hole self.

        @osito: I appreciate your statement about “there are no perfect victims” you’re totally correct. Given the state of race relations in this country, it’s quite likely that there was some sort of racial element. I appreciate the opportunity to check my privilege. But I have to admit, it’s hard for me to reconcile that line of thinking with my personal experience with her, because I just don’t trust her, and that personal experience was valid.

      • Osito says:

        @wowza I feel you, and I appreciate your general tone and sincerity here. I’m inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt because when someone makes an outcry my first action is to believe them and work from there. I will be *pissed* if that goodwill is squandered on someone who, like I said, I don’t know, but know about, and who, like I also said, doesn’t seem like the greatest, even when her outputs are good.

      • SKF says:

        I’m sorry but this is ridiculous! I’ve been to many concerts of all genres, I’ve toured with a festival with many artists on the bill, I know quite a lot of musicians, I’ve been involved in sponsoring live music venues, etc. The artists prefer people to stand up and dance!!! It is better for them, for the vibe, etc. Unless you’re at a classical concert or something super super super chill, you can’t expect people to be seated and YOU are the one who is out of line for requesting them to sit beacause artists want interaction. Kraftwerk play pretty chill EDM but in all the concert footage I’ve seen people are dancing and it should be expected, not heckled. I’ve read here that there were 3D projections as if that’s a reason not to stand? I’ve been to concerts with 3D projections and everyone wearing 3D glasses and everyone was standing up and dancing! I just cannot understand this attitude at all and I think it comes from a place of not understanding what artists want from their audiences.

    • Louise177 says:

      @Kay: I don’t think this is a race issue either but if somebody said “Sit down now” that’s not politely asking. Based on what Solange said I don’t see how she “got in their face”. Besides it seems weird to be sitting at a EDM concert. Weren’t most people be dancing?

      • KB says:

        She also tweeted something like, “if it were the old me…” As in, she’s just going to tweet about it and not respond that way, so no I don’t think she got in their face.

      • Osito says:

        It’s a race issue because she was aware of her “otherness” in that space, and unsurprisingly, the people who were rude either weren’t or didn’t care.

        Also, because she’s a black woman who has probably experienced racism before, and knows how it feels/what it looks like.

        I’m black, and a woman, and I try not to chalk up negative experiences immediately to either (sometimes — when I was called a ‘n-word b-word’ — this is unavoidable). But there are definitely times when I look at the entirety of a situation and I’m like, “Can’t see any other reason, though…” I don’t need to logic model my way through white people’s emotions to make their interactions not racist, and neither does Solange.

      • mee says:

        That’s the thing – it’s hard when someone is being rude to you to discern whether it’s based on race or just their own rudeness. And also whether your own history colors the situation.

        It’s difficult to explain when you’re not in the situation and I also try not to automatically call the race card, but I do think there is certain behavior that occurs that wouldn’t if i were white. i’m a POC and I recently was in a situation where a white woman made a remark while I was there and I questioned internally whether she would have said the same if I were white. It was a gym and she said, “i don’t get that,” about my looking at my phone while I was on the bicycle, which created a conversation with her personal trainer about over-use of phones everywhere. I thought, why would she refer to me and say that as if I weren’t there? I’m Asian and did she think I wouldn’t understand her? Would she have said the same thing if I were a white woman? Note that she didn’t say anything about over-use of iPhones/ iPads while the white man who was also working out was looking at his iPad. It was only after he left, and i was still on the bike that she said that.

      • Osito says:

        @mee Yassss….There have been SO MANY times that I’ve been my own oppressor because I knew my spidey sense wouldn’t be enough to convince others that my perception was correct. And there have been times when I had to cry my way through an explanation anyway because I needed someone to understand. It just sucks that people, sometimes even people of color, are so quick to invalidate you experience because it’s uncomfortable for *them* to process. People want to argue about whether or not you should be uncomfortable with someone giving you a “compliment” that is actually racist or sexist (not to mention ableist or ageist); or whether or not certain behaviors constitute harassment; or etc. #microaggressions

        Why is it so hard to say: I hear you say that this was your experience. I’m sorry. What do you need?

      • mee says:

        @Osito, I think it’s difficult because we don’t want to believe that people are racist. Unfortunately sometimes even I will discount a friend’s experience. A friend complained when a waiter kept asking her, no where are you really from?? And I said, if the intent is truly innocent and the person doesn’t know any better, cut them a break. However maybe I’m also discounting her experience, as it feels like a microagression.

        I do think that it’s best to give the benefit of the doubt generally when people are well-meaning. However, in some cases, like you said, your spider sense tingles and you feel like there’s something just racist or sexist at play. In those cases, I do get upset. And I think it’s important to let people know that they can’t behave rudely. In the situation at the gym, I agree – yes it’s awful that I and others can’t stop looking at the phone even in the gym – but I felt that this woman wouldn’t have made such a remark IN THE PRESENCE of a white person whom she knows could hear and UNDERSTAND her. So I just spoke up when she said that, and said “it’s called multi-tasking,” just so that she knew I could hear what she was saying.

    • KB says:

      She was already uncomfortable because she was one of the few black people. I like her “fix yourself” response. Why aren’t we, as white people, more considerate of how someone of a different race may feel in a place surrounded by us?

      • Fiorella says:

        That’s an interesting question. I think white people or western culture insist on “equal” treatment, based on the cultures strong biblical influence, where everyone in theory follows the same rules. So I wouldn’t be hopeful that most white people would ever be extra sensitive to black people(like more polite than they are to other white people), especially because I believe some black people wouldn’t like that(“othering”?) (Unsure, obviously.) anyways I find that suggestion something interesting to think about.

      • Osito says:

        Thank you for acknowledging that *her* awareness of the racial dynamics matter.

      • Trillion says:

        I HATE it when people stand up in front of me at a concert when others are seated. If everyone is getting up, that’s one thing. I’ve seen Kraftwerk. It’s not a dance-party situation. As the poster above mentioned, this was a 3D show so there were lots of visuals and concert-goers were wearing 3D glasses.
        I was thinking about what I’d do in this scenario. If the person blocking my view were white, I’d ask them to sit down. (this is only if isolated people were standing and the majority of the audience is seated). If it were a black person, I would not ask them to sit down because I’d be afraid they accuse me of racism.

      • Mrs Fancy Pants says:

        I am struggling to see how this is different from the Lena Dunham controversy of last week. Projecting meaning onto another actions. Both Solange and Lena felt out of place due to outward appearance and saw experiences through that lens.

      • annaloo. says:

        With all due respect, I am having trouble with this thread. As a black woman as well, I ask this: am I supposed to feel offended that there aren’t more black people at Depeche Mode ( who I LOVE) concerts? Bc by this logic, @KB, I feel like I am supposed to. And if something happens that could be rude (which is par for the course at any show), are people -especially white- supposed to be more penitent or take a more apologetic stance towards me just because I am black? I just have trouble with this positioning, I really do. Personally, I am not bothered to walk into a concert for a band I love that happens to have a venue full of white faces. Maybe I am just someone who is not triggered by microaggressions, but I also think that I have a lot of power and control over how I feel in a situation, and that includes what I find intimidating. I don’t need those kids gloves, and I do not want white people apologizing to me because they’re white. I do not want pity or extra sensitivity or any extrapolation or accommodation that someone thinks I need because of my skin color. I’m black, but more importantly, I am human – not disabled. Again, this is to emphasize that not all black people are this monolithic structure that move and think the same. To me, it’s not that deep in a situation like this, and I think Solange projected her insecurity.

        And if anyone threw a lime at me, I’m on my way to security to report them, not twitter.

      • Trillion says:

        I appreciate your post, Annaloo.

      • ladysussex says:

        So if people in front of me at a movie theater are talking on the phone and with their friends as if they were in their own living room, then I need to assess the racial identity of everyone in the same cinema and try to ascertain the percentages and if the offender is a minority before I can call out their rudeness? Got it!

    • sherry says:

      This is not a black/white race thing, it’s a group of people on both sides being rude. Before we were married, my husband and I went to a Mavericks/Mary Chapin Carpenter concert on Mud Island in Memphis. There were three young women in front of us who all of a sudden decided to stand and start dancing/swaying to the music. No one behind them could see anything. My now husband asked them politely several times to sit down, which they ignored. Finally, my husband pulled out his badge (he was a prosecutor at the time and they had badges) and told them to sit down … very firmly this time. They did.

      Everyone involved in that scenario was white.

      If Solange and her family were the only ones standing up and blocking the view of the stage for those around them who also paid to be there, then yes, they were being rude. Did that give the women behind them the right to throw food at them? Hell no!

      Why can’t everyone just be nice, kind and polite to each other anymore?

      • KB says:

        Lol I’d love to have someone with a badge, at the same time they could’ve just laughed because what they were doing was perfectly legal even if annoying

      • Aiobhan says:

        What? When were people ever really nice, kind,and polite to other people?

      • anarua says:

        What? Your husband is pulling his badge out when it’s convenient for him in his non-professional life and you think the lack of manners in society is the problem? Weird. Power-tripping.

      • Michelina says:

        @sherry — LOL, I’m sorry but your now-husband pulling out his badge to try to assert dominance at a concert is gross and exactly why so many people have an issue with law enforcement these days. Who in their right mind thinks “I can’t see at this concert right now because other people are in my way, better whip out my badge which means pretty much nothing because I’m not even a cop anyway and try to scare people into doing what I want them to do”?? Pretty ridiculous.

        Even if your husband WAS a cop, people blocking his view or your view or anyone else’s view is rude, but certainly not illegal. People like your husband shouldn’t even be trusted to have a badge if that’s how he’s going to use it. He isn’t special. You don’t get to just throw that around. Also, he basically impersonated a cop which actually IS illegal, so there’s that. You’re aware he could’ve lost his job for flashing his badge, right?

        Do you REALLY think that your husband whipping out his badge to scare people is “being nice, kind, and polite”?? Because you sound like a hypocrite from where I’m standing.

      • lilacflowers says:

        In this state, a member of law enforcement can lose his or her job for pulling a badge like that.

      • Nebby says:

        Sherry your husbands a dick.

      • MC2 says:

        Sherry- your one experience has nothing to do with Solange’s. You had one experience and she had another. She knows much more about what happened and the nuances then you or I do. Why do you think your one story changes anything about the fact that the white concert goers who reprimanded Solange might also not like black people or have preconceived notions about black people coming and “being unruly”??? She has been treated that way many times- how many times have you been the subject of implicit racism?! I haven’t been very much since I’m white so I trust that she knows more on the subject then I do. She is sharing a common experience in her life as a black woman in America and how about we try to listen? I am actually interested in what it might be like to be black and raise black kids today in Lousianna….

        P.S.- I totally agree with Nebby and others. The story of your husband pulling a badge because people weren’t doing what he wanted is disturbing and a misuse of power.

      • Maleficent says:

        What a gross story representing privilege and entitlement.

      • sherry says:

        My husband never said he was going to arrest anyone. And prosecutors in this state ARE a part of law enforcement. That’s why they have a badge!

        When you are at a public event with others who have paid money to be there and you ignore multiple polite requests from people (not just my husband, but other concert goers) to take a seat and you ignore them, then YOU are the one being rude.

        Just anecdotal, but when my husband did that and those girls sat down for the rest of the concert, everyone around him clapped and said, “THANK YOU!”

      • sherry says:

        Also, Disorderly Conduct and Disturbing the Peace are certainly instances where you can be arrested. If numerous people ask you to stop doing something and you refuse and the situation escalates, wait and see if someone’s not handcuffed and charged.

      • Lambda says:

        Nope, dancing at a concert is hardly a breach of public peace. Your husband just used his authority to benefit in a private issue. So what if he did not intend to arrest anybody? Why didn’t he take out his library card to make a point? It’s a minor but striking abuse of power. I always thought that conservatism has a strong icky vein of authoritarianism in it, and your story is another confirmation.

      • Snowflake says:

        @ sherry
        I’m with you on this one. People are being quite rude, IMO.

      • Jess says:

        @Sherry

        What your husband did was completely inappropriate. I’m astounded that you’re defending him and bragging about it as if he did something good. If I were there, I would have demanded to see his badge number and reported him. We don’t need power tripping prosecutors who think they can whip out their badge over someone dancing.

        “My husband never said he was going to arrest anyone.”

        If someone pulled their badge over such a dumb situation, that is an implicit threat.

      • Michelina says:

        Prosecutors have badges as a FORM OF IDENTIFICATION and it is AGAINST THE LAW for them to whip them out in public. As far as being part of the law, yeah, they represent the state IN A COURT ROOM.

        It’s a little alarming that you’re really trying to go with this and don’t see anything wrong with the fact that in trying to abuse his power your husband ended up being the one who broke the law.

    • Shambles says:

      What is up with this, you guys????
      First on the Zendaya thread, and now just a couple days later, we’re still doing this??????
      When a POC shares their experience, why is the first thing out of our mouths lately, “Well I don’t actually think this was a race issue”???
      We. Were. Not. There. We did not feel her feelings. She has a right to feel her feelings. Perception is reality, and if she felt racial tension, it was there for her. This is her story. It is not our place to take her voice away from her. It makes me really uncomfortable that as soon as one person says, “Well, this wasn’t ACTUALLY a race issue,” a sh*t ton of other people feel validated and jump right on it to agree. Why can’t we just listen?!?
      I get it. As a white lady, I understand that it’s uncomfortable to constantly feel like your culture group is being called out. But guess what? We should be getting uncomfortable. That’s the only way things will change, and believe me, things need to change. Growth does not happen inside our comfort zones.

      • OriginallyBlue says:

        Round of applause for you. It is very frustrating to not be able to feel your feelings or vocalize them knowing that people who aren’t you and weren’t there are going to tell you that you are wrong.

      • Sixer says:

        I concur, Shambles.

      • Anners says:

        @shambles YES!!! This times a million!!! Maybe nothing racist was overtly stated, but that’s the insidious thing about racism – it’s learned to hide behind a veneer of normalcy. Maybe Solange, in her 140 character limitation, didn’t quite articulate what she felt. But it IS WHAT SHE FELT. It’s her story, her experience, her reality.

      • original kay says:

        ok, I will give your post a lot of thought.

        I posted because, for me, it is a credibility issue. Also, I am not the type to just blanket accept when people say things, I always seem to question. I am like that with people I know, as well, I don’t just accept with people say as truth. This is a fault of mine, not theirs.
        I am not naive, Ive been burned, and now I just don’t believe anyone. But again, this is MY issue.

        Thanks Shambles.

      • mia girl says:

        Thank you Shambles. Totally agree.

      • The Original Mia says:

        Thank you. You get it. I’m appalled and rather pissed by the responses to her experience. Her experience.

      • Tate says:

        Well said, Shambles.

      • Lucy2 says:

        That’s how I feel too Shambles. My gut reaction was that the people were just being very rude, but then I remember that I wasn’t there, I don’t have that experience of being a person of color in a predominately white crowd, and it’s not for me to judge how she experienced the situation.

      • kitty says:

        Because as a POC, I don’t see this as a race issue. Nobody made racist remarks, if this happened,she would have taped it n posted it.2nd shame on her for using racial tensions to create more tensions. If someone told her to sit down n she’s pissed about it then that’s her right but cause it came out of the mouth of white women then it must be a race issue. I’ve been told in movies to keep it down, I don’t see it as a race issue. What’s appalling is how she’s actually using this as why black women are angry, not feeling safe in a white space? How is it a white space? Kaiser, yes I’m offended, it has nothing to do with poc saying the word white, I’m so sick of these labels, now we know Solange does not feel safe being around white people, how many white people have.Bought her music or attended her concerts, did she feel unsafe? There are real racialissues

      • Robin says:

        Perception is not always reality.

      • Saks says:

        I politely disagree. I’m not a white person and I have had ugly experiences with racists people in the US.
        Having said that, sometimes it is really not about race, and by the way she is telling her story this sounds like it.
        I’m not trying to diminish how she felt, but she is putting a whole racist psyche when she doesn’t really know what was happening through those women heads. Were the women asses? Sure. Were the women racists? I can’t tell from her story.
        Again, it’s sad she feels this way in a place full of white people (I’ve felt that way myself), but she might be the one adding the race element into this particular incident.

      • Josefina says:

        Your group called out? If you’re not racist why do you feel called out?

        Other than that I agree. Do you people have taped proof of these women throwing limes at other white attendees? You know them personally? Why are you so sure they are NOT racist?

      • Amen Shambles.

        Whenever a POC speaks out and says, “This was a racist incident, I felt devalued and treated as lesser because of my skin tone” you can bet money and set your watch to a person running at full speed to tell you how it wasn’t racist because of reasons x, y, z and maybe you’re really the problem after all?

        Every. Single. Time.

      • MC2 says:

        Shambles- thank you so much! My head is about to explode reading the comments above. What the hell is wrong with people that they think they get to decide what happened because they 1) have been to a concert before 2) worked in retail for a couple years 3) breathed and had a completely different life experiences to the people they are judging. We all agree racism is alive & well but we don’t want to admit when it happens?! Because we have not had it happen to us (white woman here, so yeah- what the hell do I know about picking about subtle racism geared toward me???)….

        This is making me so angry because this kind of gut reaction to question the victim & pull arbitrary things out of the air to discredit them because the subject matter makes you uncomfortable is how racism lives & women are still beat & raped in our society and the perps get away with it. This is the exact reaction to the women who claim sexism at work, rape on college campus, and domestic violence. First they are treated like crap and then they have to convince the public (authorities, friends, boss, etc) that they were treated like crap, while the public treats them like crap. smdh.

        @Josefina- she mentioned “your group called out” and I think this is such an important piece. We, as people, tend to identify with a group and get defensive when we think people are ‘attacking’ our group & it doesn’t go in line with our experiences. People should realize that and be sensitive to not have some stupid gut reaction because their feelings are hurt because someone said that “people like them are xxxx”. If you are above that then bravo but a lot of people here seem to not be……

      • Zip says:

        “Perception is reality”

        No it is not. For example in the country where I live, some idiots (white people) are afraid of refugees, especially muslims. They see them as a thread and basically make them responsible for everything. They claim that these people are all criminals whereas the crime rate clearly says otherwise. But to them it’s their perception. Does this also make it reality? No, it does not.

      • Mae says:

        @MC2 “First they are treated like crap and then they have to convince the public (authorities, friends, boss, etc) that they were treated like crap”
        I don’t think it’s this exactly. Everyone seems to agree that she was treated like crap (I mean, she was assaulted, so it’s kinda hard to wiggle out of denying that). The argument is more about motivation and how can you gauge why someone has decided to treat you/her like crap. My thoughts are that, if I was a black person, and I had been mistreated in a place known to have racial tensions (read: racists live here!), I would really wonder how much of that mistreatment I could attribute to my race. So I think Solange’s reaction is normal, and depending where I lived, I would be suspicious of possible racist motivations behind people’s treatment of me, just like I’m suspicious now of whether me being a woman or looking a certain way makes me a target to some people. While some people may argue that the lime throwing wasn’t racist, given the optics of the concert goers with the black to white ratios, I’d say it’s at least racially insensitive, as well as being assault. Like, lime throwing is never right, but it’s particularly wrong when you are a white person throwing it at a black woman at a concert full of mostly white people. Or at least, this is one of the points I gathered from Solange’s post. Fix yourself seems like a really good response lol.

      • Scotchy says:

        Ok I am going to write this again, as a beige woman, that goes to concerts by artists that are not beige, that are usually sit down, involve visuals and tend to be full of mostly white people. It is very very RUDE when someone stands up in front of me and blocks my view.
        In my experience often being one of three POC as most shows I go to, I have never had an unsafe feeling, but I have had to ask people to sit down multiple times.
        I think this thread, is heated and I think not one of us was at that show so non of us know how it went down, but it reads to me like all parties were being rude. All of them. Regardless of race. If it was a 3D show and someone rolls in and dances in front of a row of people trying to watch said show.. thats rude. Should those sitting behind her throw food. Nope. An usher should have worked the situation out. Either way. I don’t feel like this is a big deal and I have experienced BIG deals in terms of dealing with racists and racially charged situations. Can we make this thread not a big deal??

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    • Original T.C. says:

      I think it’s because they didn’t even attempt to ask nicely and threw lime at her. They were treating her as a misbehaving child which some White people (especially Southern Whites who still think Black people are their children from slavery days).

      Similar to how White cops are willing to be nicer/more respectful of white criminals but are quick to just shoot Black ones as though they aren’t human or capable of being talked into surrendering.

      Although I find Solange and Beyoncé’s “light-skinned” specialness annoying (THE most beautiful Black folks? **Massive eye roll**) but I understand this situation having experienced something similar. White women will see a younger white woman as looking like their daughters/of their culture so they will talk to them in a civilized manner but when they see a non-white woman they are unable to relate to her as though she could be their daughter or of their culture. It’s internalized prejudice that some white people don’t even realize they have. They always view you as foreign.

      • Nicole says:

        ‘Southern White’ here, not my cup of tea.

      • Original T.C. says:

        @Nicole

        That’s why I said “some”. Rarely (if at all) do I use the term “all” in my statements.

      • Nicole says:

        Thank you for pointing that out, there are good ones, I promise.
        And sorry I didn’t read your post twice. These posts make me sad, but appreciative to be made more aware of the situations.

    • suze says:

      Maybe to you, in the printed word, it doesn’t sound like a race issue.

      But if you were there, one of maybe 20 people who looked different from the other 1500, and someone threw something at you and yelled at you, it would be more starkly a race issue.

      She’s telling you how she felt. I don’t understand not accepting that she has valid feelings from her own experience.

    • Crowdhood says:

      It is a race issue because she is black, the women were white. She clearly felt uncomfortable. Since we weren’t there, I feel like maybe we should take her word for it?

      • Myrna says:

        I respectfully disagree, Crowdhood.
        How can anyone assume that a disagreement is racially motivated simply because the parties are of a different race?
        Couldn’t it simply be that they disagreed, period.

        We all get into trouble when we speculate such things.

      • Robin says:

        Not really. It’s not always a race issue when the participants are of different races.

      • FingerBinger says:

        That doesn’t make sense. White and black people can argue without it being about race.

    • Myrna says:

      There is not one aspect of Solange’s story that supports this incident as being racist.
      Not one.

      It does turn racist after she Tweeted about it – the responses, some of them, were just awful and deplorable.

      But her dancing, which was probably blocking the other’s view of the stage, was rude and the folks who threw a lime or anything at her were rude as well.
      And, yes, that would constitute an assault.

      But the incident in and of itself was not racially motivated – at least no evidence of it being so did Solange state.

    • Mltpsych says:

      I go to a lot of 70s and 80s revival concerts and now always get an aisle seat because everyone sits through the concert and I am there to dance. I have been screamed at, thrown food at and asked to leave by security for dancing at a concert! I think it is typical lazy Americans who can’t stand for an hour and 1/2 so yes I have blocked there view. The last time was a man throwing his beer on me at a Foreigner show when the band had asked everyone to stand up!!!!! He was thrown out but still….I am Arab, Spanish and Eastern European with the olive skin and white girl hair so it was probably not a racial issue in my case, I think it’s lazy, privileged people thing. In any case I’m sure her past experiences and the collective Black experience did cause her to feel unsafe. But people at concerts do basically suck.

      • Nan says:

        Just to round out the discussion: some people aren’t able to stand on their feet for a long period (not just old folks or lazy people and yes, young people too) and everyone pays their money for a seat. Sitting is obviously your right when you go to an event that sells you a seat. If someone dances in front of you, they block your view and you can no longer see. You just see their backsides and that’s not what you paid to see. Venues should be responsible for how to keep all concert-goers happy – how to work this out and not leave people squabbling with each other and throwing things. I see both sides of this, it’s hard not to want to get up and dance when you’re at a live concert and feeling it, but it also sucks to pay money to have to see somebody’s backside instead of the band/group/or whatever that you paid to see and want to see.

      • Singtress says:

        Who cares how much pigment anyone has?
        Why should I have to stand up to see the performer I paid to see, just because YOU want to stand.
        My sitting doesn’t affect the rows behind me.
        You deciding to stand, does.
        It’s called courtesy.

      • RuddyZooKeeper says:

        Plus add to the fact limes were thrown = alcoholic beverages = drunk.

    • Audrey says:

      Yeah i don’t see racism in the original incident and I’m quite sensitive to most race issues. Perhaps it’s a reflection of solange’s personal feelings.

      But the response she got was clearly racist. Not surprising, twitter is a terrible place honestly. I’m a football fan and any player who speaks up about race issues is treated terribly.

    • Josefina says:

      I just dont understand why everytime people share their experiences with racism, people who werent there claim to have a better understanding of what happened. You see all the supporters Trump has. Why is it so hard to believe people CAN be racist?

      Solange is a pretentious, annoying pill who makes awful music but I dont find it very hard to believe she could be the victim of racism. Even if this was just a case of people being rude, why is it so wrong for her to analyze this from a racial PoV? Racism is alive and I dont think she’s crazy for thinking mistreatment from white people may stem from that.

      • Nah, don’t you know? People are so so so confuzzled by why Donald Trump has all the supporters he does because everything was sunshine and roses for POC before.

        The media is simply hyping up all these incidents of police brutality, it doesn’t happen that often. Obama made the racial tension issue worse by trying to talk about it and this wave of discrimination and hatred pushing a xenophobe to the top of the presidential polls? So super weird!

    • Mary Mary says:

      Solange brings drama. That is who she is. She says she is angry too. Met gala and elevator and kicking Jay Z comes to mind. Dancing while others are perhaps seated and can’t view the stage? People do get up out of their seats and dance often in the front row of concerts so the folks behind can’t see. That’s life now-a-days. Rude? Yes, You are supposed to cope with someone’s else’s behavior, by ignoring the obvious.
      After all it is Solange, who is angry, because… Beyonce is more beautiful, talented and successful Solange is best known for 1) being Beyonce’s sister and 2) kicking Jay-z. I guess, I would be frustrated too :) .

    • MC2 says:

      I live in a very white city and it is known to have white areas & black areas. It’s also a liberal city that likes to think of itself as not racist.

      I have seen so many incidents of someone being the only black person in a room, concert, school, etc. To deny what that might feel like to them is not cool. I watched Amy Schumer say some stupid joke about black people at a comedy show in my city and it was not cool. There were two black people in the audience in a sea of white. If it had been in a club with more diversity it wouldn’t have felt so bad. If it felt bad to me, what did it feel like to them?! Watching all these white people busting up- it didn’t feel like laughing with them, it felt like laughing at them.

      Since me city does have black areas I found my self the only white kid in a huge class once. No one said “honky”, no one called me names or pushed me or anything, but I felt it. I felt glares, snickers and people laughing at my hair. I was not fearful of my safety or anything but it showed me a glimpse, a very small glimpse since I took my bus back to my white hood, of what it feels like to be different in a group. Obviously different and to say that has no affect is denying a whole group’s experiences. Racism is not always yelling the N-word….

      I just wanted to add too that I am hearing a lot of “I’m not racist but…” these days from white people and then they say some racist crap but since it never hit to level of the n-word you can’t call it out? Naw- I call it out. We have to call it out to make it stop. White people have been getting away with implicit racism too long……

    • caitlinK says:

      I agree: I just don’t see the racism from this little story. There might be more to it, but there isn’t any provable racism in the details that have been disclosed so far. Yes, the woman were quite rude, inexcusably, but maybe they were too “old” to stand and dance? Maybe Solange was nasty in her reaction to their request; who knows? I hate stories like this, which make the many stories of *real* racism get so quickly diminished and dismissed.

    • Myla says:

      Cosign this. Solange is using some pretty crazy verbal and mental gymnastics to make people believe what should essentially be a nonstory.

    • ladysussex says:

      Yeah I don’t see this as a race issue at all. Once at a hockey game, my friends and I would jump up to see things or cheer and an entire row a few behind ours would yell at us and heckle us as “amateurs” who don’t come to enough hockey games. It was ongoing through the whole game. My friends and I are white and the hecklers were white. And I just don’t see throwing a lime wedge as assault. And I’ve been to plenty of concerts where everyone sat.

  2. The Gift says:

    ….. In white folks can be trash news

  3. sensible says:

    I liked the responses over on dlisted, which were along the lines of – this isn’t a skin issue it’s an arsehole issue. I was at a New Order gig a couple of months ago where a girl two rows down from us was dancing (whatever). Then she turned around and harrased everyone sitting in the rows behind her for NOT dancing. We were all mostly white, its just people being dicks at concerts.

  4. Sixer says:

    OMG. The “zoo like environment” tweet. Racism is a brain virus.

    • Patricia says:

      It seriously made my stomach turn, I feel like puking when I see this kind of thing. What kind of depraved mind even goes there, saying things like that? Where were these people raised? Why didn’t they get any education and humanity? It’s dark and so disgusting.

  5. Dorothy#1 says:

    My friend and i went to a sarah Mclachlan concert and the girls behind us were singing loudly and badly to EVERY song. They were the only ones singing!! It was so annoying after we asked them to stop nicely we were called lesbians and other names so we just stood up the rest of the concert. The point of this story is concerts are annoying thats why i dont go anymore. Lol

    • KB says:

      I get that. People like to sing to their favorite songs at concerts, but the people around you didn’t pay to listen to YOU.

      But the dancing and standing thing, I’m 5’1 so if it’s not stadium type seating I can’t see, and I still think it’s absurd to expect people to sit. It’s my problem, not theirs.

    • Relli says:

      Dancing is one thing but SINGING is so annoying at a concert. My mother is like Janice from friends whenever we go somewhere with music and sings along LOUDLY. Stores, church, weddings, my kid’s school performances, plays, concerts it is mortifying and more then once I have had to tell her no one paid to come here and hear you sing.

  6. Kimma says:

    I understand there is a lot of racism and prejudice in this country right now. But I’m sad to say I kind of agree that this isn’t a black/white issue..it seems more like a “some people are a$$holes issue”..I’m white and I’ve been at places where I was hanging out dancing and some other white girls started purposely banging into me and one “accidentally” spilled one on me for now reason..I didn’t even know them….people can be jerks and in this case I think that is what this was here…not racism. But then again, solange strikes me as the kind of person that likes to portray everything around her as a black/white issue. Sorry, but that is true.

    • Aiobhan says:

      The sheer arrogance that you and some of the other people in this thread have in disregarding Solange’s feelings and then recategorizing it as something more palatable to you is beyond disgusting but not very surprising.

      Microaggressions and unconscious bias have just a negative impact on someone’s psyche as someone being explicit and hurling a slur at you or threatening violence on you because of your race. Maybe even more so because some people don’t even know what they are doing is wrong. You don’t get to decide what is offensive to someone else. Instead of disregarding her or any other person of color who says they are offended, you should be asking why they feel that way and wait for them to explain. But this seems to be an extremely difficult task for some people.

      I just read a WAPO op-ed arguing for why Black people need to disengage from white people (specifically ignorant white people) and just focus on bettering our community. I originally thought he was dead ass wrong for what he wrote, but after reading this thread and the similar threads on this site, I think I am starting to see his point.

      • Myrna says:

        But where does Solange provide any evidence that this was racially motivated?
        She didn’t mention any slurs these women made – no references to race.

        It appears to have simply been a bunch of effing idiots bullying someone regardless of race.
        Who’s to say they wouldn’t have done it to a white woman dancing and obstructing their view?

        When such incidents are attributed to racism it insults whites – I’m sorry – but I find it insulting.

        To assume a white person simply because another is black is acting out of racism – that is majorly offensive.
        And that attitude does nothing to build bridges.

        I am not saying that Solange hasn’t faced racism – perhaps she has – but she doesn’t say anywhere anything that supports it in this case.

      • Robin says:

        Just as people don’t get to decide what is offensive to someone else, people don’t get to assume what someone’s motivations are. Solange made a HUGE assumption that people were racist because they didn’t like her blocking their view.

      • Aiobhan says:

        It is almost as if you did not read what I wrote. Racism is not just about using known slurs that are used against people of color. Please actually re-read what I wrote and then google and read about racial microaggression.

        Why do you find it insulting against whites? Why is being called a racist worse than acting like one? I would really like an answer to this to you or to anyone reading this comment.

        Maybe you should start taking other people’s feelings into consideration what other people feel instead of deciding something for them. This is very similar to a white man telling a white woman that she was not being sexually harassed, it was just more of a misunderstanding between them.

        You know what also does not build bridges, disregarding another’s feelings because you don’t understand what they went through. Just because you don’t understand it does not mean that it is not real. Again, you don’t get to decide what is racist and offensive to me. Also, why are you giving the white women the benefit of the doubt and not Solange?

        Also, people need to stop saying sorry when they don’t mean it; It does not make what you said before the apology less insensitive and tone deaf.

      • littlemissnaughty says:

        WORD.

        For real you guys, I can’t believe the discussions here today. First of all, yes, on paper (!) it is very easy to dismiss this as “there is no evidence, she’s just too sensitive”. Which is what a lot of you are doing. With a ton of goodwill towards the white ladies and the uncomfortable reality this would, if racially motivated, remind us of on a nice Sunday, I get that reaction. Believe me.

        However. Many (most) of the posters on this site are women. So let me ask you, how many times have you been subjected to sexism and misogyny in your lives and when you complained about it, were dismissed because on paper, the offender did nothing wrong? You couldn’t pinpoint the reason this was sexist but you knew. You KNEW from their tone of voice, facial expression, from the overall situation, from little gestures and a million different things that you were being treated that way because you’re a woman? And you tell a man in your life and they don’t get it because you have no proof and you can’t explain because they don’t have anything to compare it to in their own experience. “Maybe they just *insert random non-sexist reason here*. Oh well, even if, it’s not that bad.” No, it is not. But is IS pretty bad if it happens all the damn time, every day. And it’s the little things that wear you down because you recognize them but can’t verbalize them.

        So even if these women weren’t intentionally throwing fruit (WHAT EVEN) at Solange because she’s black, they might have been doing it without knowing. Or they knew. She knew. If I want people to believe me when I say xyz is a sexist pig, I have to believe her too when she says this was some racist sh*t.

      • Sixer says:

        + a gazillion, Littlemiss

        This comment section is making me sad. So little pause for reflection. So much inability to at least TRY to see things through someone else’s eyes.

      • Snaps to littlemiss and Aiobhan, especially love the sexism example because it is so freaking true.

      • Crox says:

        littlemissnaughty, if I get this story correctly, this was one of the occasions where the audience is expected to sit through the gig, and I’ve been to Kraftwerk myself and they are not a dance band, regardless of the electronics, so I can see this as a good possibility.

        So, if I were at a gig where you’re supposed to stay seated, and I – a woman – got up and danced, and a man behind me told me to sit down, and I refused, and then he’d throw a lime at me, no, I would not take that as a sexist act. Rude yes (by me too), but not sexist. So *in this case in particular* the fruit analogy does not work.

        If you’re the only person acting differently than anyone else, possibly distracting them, don’t be surprised to be called out. Expecting to get a pass because you’re of a different gender or a different race is supporting double standards.

        And yes, I can imagine she felt singled out because of her race, and I am sure that is terrible for her. But has she acknowledged her own rudeness at all?

      • littlemissnaughty says:

        @ Crox, many many people on this thread have made that argument and it doesn’t convince me. I’m telling you. As a woman, as a person/woman of color (which I am not) you pick up on things in the specific situation. End of. If you don’t accept that argument and want to judge the situation based on tweets, go ahead. My question is why doesn’t everyone just come out and say “She’s too sensitive. I can tell from a distance and after the fact that it wasn’t about race.” Because you CAN’T. Because that sounds ridiculous.

        I’m telling you that if you weren’t there, you have less info than she does. So why in the world is everyone bending over backwards to explain away her experience? It drives me mad.

      • Crox says:

        @ – littlemissnaughty – I wouldn’t say “too sensitive”, because I don’t think that is the case (to describe somebody as too sensitive about an issue, the situation would have to be different). What I think – and this is based on HER words alone, because she’s the only person here who controls the narrative – is that SHE behaved inappropriately first and is now trying to shift the explanation from rudeness to racism. Sensitivity has nothing to do with it. I don’t think she’s doing it on purpose to be mean, I think she just doesn’t understand that she too was at fault here and because of that she doesn’t understand that the other person’s complaint (not the lime throwing, that part was uncalled for) was actually granted. And if she can’t see that the other person had a good reason to complain, I can see how she might think her race is an issue.

        And again – we draw conclusions from HER words. She has the power to change the story. She could clarify why she thought that was racist. And still, listening only to HER side, I’m not convinced.

      • littlemissnaughty says:

        Oh my god, I give up. So she didn’t tell the story in a way that would convince you. Because when someone tells you an uncomfortable story, you of course doubt it. She didn’t meet your standards. Which is not what she was trying to do. She talked about an experience she had and instead of feeling compassion, you need proof. Okay. Fine. As I said, I give up. She could give you a million reasons why this was some racist bs but as we’ve seen with other questionable celebrities lately *side-eyeing Johnny Depp*, it’s never enough for some people. As I said, I give up.

    • Wren says:

      I’ve been accused of racism before when asking people not to be rude. No, I’m not “targeting you” because you’re a different race, I’m asking you to not cut in line, or whatever it is, because that behavior is rude. It has zero to do with race. I’m polite and respectful to everyone, because that’s how civilized humans act. But if you’re rude to me don’t expect me to simply get out of your way

      In this particular incident, I’m very much curious about how other people were acting. Was Solange the only one dancing? Or the only one standing? Because if so, um, being asked (even rudely) to sit would be expected based on her behavior and not about her race. Or were a bunch of other people standing and dancing too and she was singled out? Because that makes a difference.

      The response to her telling this story, however, is appallingly racist. I can’t believe people feel entitled to say such things. Even if she’s wrong about racism motivating the initial incident, a simple “no, that wasn’t racist that was people being a-holes” would have done, because as we all know, being a selfish dick is pretty universal. While I disagree (or at least doubt) that the rude concert people were being racist, the response to her has been horrific.

      • Robin says:

        100% agree with your post. Especially the response to her story. Awful.

      • caitlinK says:

        Agree completely w Wren. Thank you for putting it so well.

      • Aiobhan says:

        @ Wren I think I am starting to realize why some of these stories just don’t seem to be getting through to some white people and other people of color. Some of these stories hit a little too close to home for some people and they start to get defensive because they don’t want to even think that they could have been the villain/bad person in their situation, so the offended person is immediately wrong. You think your belief that Solange is wrong and you are right is an example of casual racism.

        My interpretation of what you wrote ” I think I was in a similar incident and because I don’t think I am a racist, the white person in the other scenario definitely could not have been a racist.” Like there is a logical connection between the two because of some vague similarities between your experience and another white person’s experience. Your complete dismissal of her comments and equating your experience to her experience as if they are valid comparisons is devaluing her experience and is racist. You believe that your thoughts on the matter are superior to hers enough to recategorize her opinion as something else.

        @ Robin Because, of course, everyone is conscious of every decision they make and why they made it. As if the only way you can be a racist is if you use vulgar language toward a person of color. It is neither your nor my fault that we were born into a white supremacist society. It is your fault that you refuse to help change it by closing your ears when someone makes you uncomfortable.

      • Wren says:

        No, I didn’t say definitively that it wasn’t racist, just that I don’t believe it was, since from the information given it doesn’t sound like it. Maybe it was, but honestly telling someone to sit down at a 3D/visual heavy concert isn’t exactly surprising. So they were rude about it, maybe they were ruder because they’re racists but maybe they’re just rude people. There’s plenty of those in the world.

        This whole thing reminds me of Lena Dunham’s comments. Like she was so determined to think that Odell was a mysogenistic ass that no other explanation ever occurred to her.

  7. Nancy says:

    I went to the Kraftwerk concert in DC last weekend. It was and was billed as a “3D concert experience.” It was a visual show. That is why people wanted her to sit down. They were wearing 3D glasses and couldn’t see. Like a movie. If someone gets up in a dark movie and starts dancing in front of you, you get pissed off. You probably can’t even see the color of the dancers skin because the lights are down, your 3D glasses are on, and all you can see is this shape getting in the way of the 3D robots coming at you. Just sayin.

    • Lynnie says:

      That would be a great theory and all if the story hadn’t said the concert was in New Orleans…

      • MP says:

        You think they change the whole concept of their shows for each city? If it was a 3D show in DC it was probably a 3D show in New Orleans too.

      • Mia4S says:

        @Lynnie it took two seconds to google and see that the New Orleans concert was also the 3D experience. So yeah, it is a good theory.

      • Lynnie says:

        @MP If they’re as avant-garde as people are making them out to be why not. That being said I was wrong I can admit that.

        @Mia It also takes 2 seconds to be empathetic to Solange , and realize as Dippit said, that having a concert be in 3D is not a good enough reason to be rude. It also takes 2 seconds to ask, “Would they have had the same tone/lime throwing response if Solange had been white?

    • Dippit says:

      That makes a lot more sense now.

      However, throwing things at someone ‘breaking the protocol’ (which I understand now you’ve explained it) is not the way to go – especially if they have a child with them.

      Kraftwerk were always quite visual iirc.

    • K.T says:

      I said below I went to their 3D concert and most people in my concert stood up anyway…by at least after first half hour! The screen is up high, it’s not hard to see standing or sitting…and Its Kraftwerk! What!
      I don’t get it what kind of ppl who would go to a clever-edgy originator of German electronic music would be all up in arms (and throwing fruit!!!) about anyone dancing to the tongue in cheek decades old ‘hit’ lyric like Fahren Fahren Auf der Autobahn!

      • Nicole says:

        You are a breath of fresh air to this thread, I’m an idiot and I don’t know that I have heard them. You made me want to.

    • suze says:

      Yelling “sit down” happens. But throwing things is too far. It’s far enough that it ranges into assault.

      I don’t think any of us were there – I believe Solange knows her own experiences as a black woman well enough.

      • jc126 says:

        I’m sure she does, but that doesn’t mean she, or anyone else, can read the minds of the other people at the concert and KNOW they were racist. They might’ve done the same thing, had the same reaction, if Miley Cyrus had done what Solange Knowles did.

  8. The Gift says:

    I’ll leave y’all good people with this last comment before I leave this post:
    Solange Knowles is rich black woman in her own rights(not Beyoncé’s money). I’m sure she can differentiate between racism and rudeness and if you’ve been on the receiving end then you know that people can be racist about just anything. Stop bending over to invalidate her experiences. Her experience not yours. I’m already getting mad on her behalf so lemme leave now

  9. Prairiegirl says:

    Racism in the public sphere, normalized. Thanks Trump!

  10. Fiorella says:

    They arent assholes for minding her dancing, but they didn’t even attempt to ask nicely. Were rude and threw something, which is probably illegal. Also technically she is allowed to dance, it’s just “frowned upon” and it honestly is inconsiderate and selfish (when it blocks others view).in solanges own words, it does not seem that there was anyone else dancing . Maybe this is where ‘drama” comes in– acting like you deserve something extra as a celeb?

  11. K.T says:

    Kraftwerk…yeaaa-ass! Love that Solange is a fan – woot electronic musical history. I’ve been to TWO concerts & they were hilarious, funny, knowing (in two diff countries but not US). They are one of the orginators of an alternative electronic sound. Their most recent was a wacky 3D-art pop concert and it was amazin-werk-werk-werk. We had cheaper seated tickets but evryone & our crew went to the aisles to dance and when it hit peak the whole crowd was up n’ moving.
    I mean, Kraftwerk*, that’s pretty ironic & they make make fun of their Germanic monotone background, so if anyone is throwing things at Solange, I totally get that it was something stupid/racist/insane!
    *nerd-alert*

  12. Almondjoy says:

    Talking down to an adult black women and telling her what to do.. Yes there is a racial element here whether you believe it or not. Take your blinders off. As has been said many times before, you can tell when someone is just rude in general and being rude because they look down on you because of your race. You can see it in the difference between the way they treat you as opposed to other people around you.

    • Brittney B. says:

      You shouldn’t even have to explain that, but you did it so well. I’m sorry so many people would rather rush to excuse/defend/deny than widen their perspective and realize that people of color pick up on differences that they don’t.

    • Sixer says:

      I believe you.

      Black people being loud about having a good time are more likely to be perceived as obnoxious (or even threatening) than white people. I’m white and I understand this.

      Even if that wasn’t the case here, and I don’t know because I wasn’t there, nobody should be dismissing Solange’s experience of it out of hand. Because it is a thing. Don’t tell her she didn’t get it. Say you hope it wasn’t motivated by racism cos that would be awful.

      • Kitten says:

        THIS. We weren’t there and more importantly, we’re not black. White peeps never seem to listen/validate the experiences of black people. I don’t get it.

      • Marty says:

        @Almonjoy- You’ve said it.

        Here’s the thing about being a PoC, and specifically a Black or Latina woman who already have negative stereotypical temperaments associated with them: we walk around, we live our lives, and when someone is an a**hole to us we always have to ask ourselves, ‘are they just rude, or are they being a racist a**hole?’. More often than not it’s the latter, and as we get older we’re able to differentiate between the two pretty easy.

        Solange is a pretty low key person, I believe her. And I know I’ve said this countless times before, but just because something doesn’t ‘seem’ offensive to you, doesn’t mean it’s not.

    • suze says:

      The clue is in the set up. The audience was primarily white, or more generously, not a diverse crowd. She and her family were one of maybe 20? 30? black people. She was dancing with her kid. In that context having someone yell and throw things at you (hello assault) is threatening, and it’s not a huge leap to say it was because she and child were black.

      She knows her own thoughts and experience. Sheesh. Why do people have to argue with that?

    • Michelina says:

      “Talking down to an adult black women and telling her what to do.. Yes there is a racial element here whether you believe it or not. ”

      This. People don’t seem to understand the way that black women get treated in this world, and they’re actively hostile toward it being brought to their attention. Would these trashy women have thrown a lime at a person blocking their view if she wasn’t black? Maybe, but I do believe that a black woman is subject to that kind of gross behavior more frequently than a white woman is.

      Personally I’m of the belief that Black women are the most oppressed people in the United States, by other communities and the black community as well. The expectations heaped upon them by just about everyone are insane. It’s really disturbing how many people want to call Solange out in these comments and also how many people called Zendaya a liar in those comments as well. Wake the hell up, people.

      • Greenieweenie says:

        I will cosign this. I could easily see this as a race issue. But I think you probably have to be not white to understand, or have a lot of experiences as a minority. Actually, I’m white but from a multi-racial family. I can’t tell you how uncomfortable it makes other white people (or anyone who identifies with majority white culture) when we are friends, and then they meet my non-white siblings. The whole conversation gets weirdly self-conscious. I don’t like it and now I avoid it unless I know the people will be normal because it’s not fair to my siblings to have people act weird around them. If people can’t handle it and be normal, I make a mental note on the boundaries of our friendship.

        So I get what Solange is saying. She stands out in a sea of white. She’s behaving in a completely ordinary way, and some rude white women feel the need to attempt to put her in her place. Idk, I get it. Also, I would not have taken that kind of correction well.

    • Saks says:

      I agree and disagree in some points. As a brown Latina, I’ve experienced microagressions and rude in-your-face racism, and other times people just being stupid.
      I’m not putting down her feelings, I can actually relate to feeling unsafe in a place full of white people, it is scary and sad. Having said all of that, and just according to her story it doesn’t really read to me as a motivated racist act.
      However, talking about these things isn’t easy there are so much factors involved and as you all said, we weren’t there so we don’t know what really happened.

    • You explained that so simply and perfectly almond.

      I think people are still expecting crosses to be burned for something to clearly be racist, microaggressions exist for a reason and they are insidious and disturbing because as another poster said you are constantly wondering “Was that what I think it was? Was it because in that moment another person who knows nothing about me considered me lesser?” and it does make you feel so ‘other’ because you can’t even have a simple experience like others.

      • greenmonster says:

        Well said, Eternal Side-Eye.

        I don’t wanna pull a Lena Dunham here, but I wanna share my experience. I’m a white female and chubby. All my life people have treated me differently because of my weight. Some were just not as friendly towards me as they have been to skinny, pretty friends, others have been downright mean and offensive. And then there were people who said or did things, were I thought “wait, what? was that meant to be mean? or is it just in my head?” Whenever I talked to a friend (pretty and skinny) about that, she brushed it off and even defended people who have been rude to me. Her reason? They have always been nice to her. She couldn’t imagine that people might just be rude because of how I look. It was either, they had a bad day or I wasn’t open and happy enough.

        What I am trying to say is: our experiences shape our views AND we learn to read why people are treating us the way they do. I can tell, if someone is being rude, dismissive or cold towards me, because of my weight or if that person is just a d*ck. There is a difference and you learn how to distinguish . So I believe Solange when she says she felt unsafe and she believes there were racist motives behind the remarks. She might have experienced a lot of racism in her life and knows how to read it.

      • Thank you for sharing greenmonster, you are exactly right that it soon becomes easy to tell when someone is simply being rude and when it’s because of how they view you. After a lifetime of experiencing it you do just know and it’s frustrating as hell when others who don’t have that experience try to explain it to you and defend the offense.

    • jinglebellsmell says:

      I’m mixed, but about two shades darker than Solange. Racism is alive and well in this country, I’ve seen it and heard it over and over and over. But it is completely unfair to say “you can tell” when someone is being just rude in general or rude because of your race when there’ s nothing to back it up. Assuming someone’s thoughts and motives are unfair when there’s no tell. That’s like when people say they see a black man in a hoodie with stuffed pockets that “I could tell” that he was up to no good and probably stole something when it was just in fact candy or his own belongings. It’s also unfair to say “talking down to a black woman” (in this case coming from the mouth of a rude white woman who I think committed assault) because it’s basically assuming that every rude white person is racist, which isn’t true either. It’s like saying every black man is a thug.

    • Almondjoy says:

      I know I’m super late but thanks so much for all the responses.

  13. msd says:

    Err, was this Kraftwerk 3d live? Because I know friends who went to it a few months ago and it was a multimedia performance where everyone sat down in seats and watched while wearing 3d glasses. More like going to the opera, really. Kraftwerk are the godfathers of EDM but they’re super-serious, intellectual, very German, and this event has been performed at arts festivals. Maybe she thought it was a typical dance concert? She should have known after a few minutes that it wasn’t like a rave.

    • K.T says:

      Um, in my opinion nooo. It’s a concert, they did introduce their first 3D show to a museum type place (I kinda know someone that help organise it) bht the further concerts may be seen as smart/intellectual but they are funnnnny and definitely concert orietated. I think!
      Just dance and enjoy. Solange was not in the wrong…
      - showing my geekdom loud here, lol

  14. OriginallyBlue says:

    Leave it to white people to tell a black person that her experience was incorrect. Smh.

    • Jane.fr says:

      Do I have the right to my opinion, then, since I am black ?
      Yes, she knows her own thoughts and experience. She knows that she’s feeling uneasy among so many people of another colour. That only speaks about her. How does she knows other people thoughts and feeling ? If they acted rude but did not say anything racist, without my crystal ball, I’ll say that they are rude. Not that they are racist.

      As for PoC knowing better if they are victim of racism or not…. Thinking that every thing is always about race make for a very limited narration. A few days ago, one of my students came in, furious. She’d been fined for a parking violation. She’s of arabic descent and recently choose to wear the veil. Since then, she felt ostracised and said it was just one more way to harass her. While it is true that a lot of people disparage her choice/attitude, I’ll still maintain that her, actually, being parked illegally was a more probable cause in her being fined.

      • Greenieweenie says:

        I get what you are saying Jane.fr and certainly (since parking tickets are issued to vehicles and not people) tend to agree with you. But racism today is rarely empirical/objective–even in the Jim Crow era, it was more often implicitly understood than overt. But the fact that a Muslim or black woman feels self conscious is indicative of larger social issues. And the white people in this situation were not cognizant of that. I think this is the real problem. If I were at a concert that was mostly white, I would avoid brig critical of anyone who wasn’t white just because I am aware of self consciousness around race (maybe because I used to teach kids). Moving away from a white Christian majority culture to a multicultural one requires everyone to be self conscious and aware–including white women in a crowd of almost exclusively white people–of how they treat others. So while race may not have been on the mind of the white women, it should’ve been. They should’ve been more aware. That’s how I see it, but I am a product of a truly multicultural society.

    • @OriginallyBlue..Thought your comment was perfect

  15. Poncho says:

    This is really interesting to me. I am from a country that doesn’t have a lot of black people and was recently travelling to the US. I attended a rap concert and was one of the only white people in the building. Two black girls made the experience very uncomfortable for me by throwing a drink on me and when I turned around started in my face with yelling. They wanted to fight me! I have never been on a fight and just walked away- making them call me a pussy. The reason they said they were mad was because they thought I was taking up too much space ( I have a wide ass- lol not sure if this is what they meant). it was one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me. I met a lot of other incredibly friendly people (of all races) during my trip but those 2 girls were terrifying.

    • IE says:

      So sad, I’m also like this, I don’t have the strength to fight, I’m always walking away. Even when people are rude to me I will just walk away, I know it’s strange, but I don’t feel good to be rude.

    • Matomedah says:

      I’ve had this experience as well. But we aren’t aloud to talk about the other side for some reason.

      • Snowflake says:

        Yes you are. You can talk about all your experiences with blacks being racist towards you because you are white. I think that’s where you are going with this? Of course there are people who don’t like whites. I’m white, I get the look sometimes. But really, can you blame black women for being that way? I mean, look at how much better we have it because we are white. I don’t get followed around in a store, I don’t get hate because i am loud, I don’t get racially profiled or get shit from people for wearing weave or extensions. So I can kind of understand why some women would feel that way. If it bothers you, just imagine how much more of it you would have to deal with it if you are not white. Count your blessings

      • Nebby says:

        You can speak about it. Just don’t invalidate others, like I’m not telling you all your experiences didn’t happen. Also if this has happened the few times you’ve been in predominately black spaces, just imagine a life where the majority of the time your in white spaces. It happens a lot and it hurts even more when you can’t speak about it without being called a liar.

      • Poncho says:

        I 100% wasn’t saying racism doesn’t exist but let’s not forget that other social discrimination does exist. People are treated differently everyday based on gender, class, size, etc. I have been followed in stores for not having the right clothes and judged by friend’s parents for not living on the right side of town.

        I know there are people that judge overweight people and dehumanize them every chance they get. So yeah race is a problem and it adds to the struggle but don’t act like white people have it easy for being white. Maybe white, rich, thin and good looking people have it easy.

        I am in no way saying that African Americans or native Americans have it great- I know they have a major struggle with race but some of these comments seem to think there is no struggle of you are white. And FYI- I am an indigenous person but I look white. We have no voice ever. No celebs to put out a lemonade for us.

      • Snowflake says:

        @ poncho
        No offense but what does other forms of discrimination have to do with this? We are talking about solange and how she felt discriminated against by these women. It must be so aggravating for POC when they share their experience, to have other people say but, IMO…..or there are other forms of discrimination. It’s like people are trying to distract from the issue at hand. Just like when people say black lives matter, someone always has to say, well, white lives matter. Who said they didn’t? If I said skin cancer matters, would you say, colon cancer matters? No one said white lives matter, they are just trying to focus in on the people who need help, POC.

        So what I’m trying to say is, if Solange felt discriminated against, why can’t we just say, that’s horrible? She’s not saying everyone is racist. If someone said their stomach hurt, we wouldn’t say, no, it’s your head that hurts or you’re just imagining it.

        This is not all directed at you, btw, just some general feelings about this.

  16. Lizzie says:

    And in another episode of “I’m embarrassed to be white”….I just don’t understand anything anymore. People are hideous.

    I’ve even danced at a tori Amos concert. It was Halloween and she requested everyone get up and dance to happy phantom and all 2000 people obliged!

  17. Patricia says:

    Here’s the thing, if you’re a white person you don’t get to tell her that her experience isn’t valid.
    If you’re a white person in this country and someone is rude to you, you don’t have to wonder if it’s because of your race 99% of the time. If you’re a person of color and someone is rude to you, it would seem you DO have to wonder if it’s because of your race almost every time.
    So let’s just listen. Let’s just be humbled by the fact that we as white people never even have to ask ourselves “are they treating me like this because of my skin color?”. What a sad thing to have to wonder. She deserves support. Even IF the person who did this to her would have done it to a person of any race, the fact is this is her life and her experience: she doesn’t feel totally safe and at ease in a mostly-white place, and that’s a damn shame. It’s not her fault. She’s just aware that there’s a good possibility she will be treated badly due to her race, and that’s something people of color live with and white people do not live with. So let’s all just shut our white mouths and LISTEN already.

    • Fiorella says:

      Patricia that may be your experience but is it not possible that other white peoples DO feel that somePOC have been rude to them because of their race? I don’t know , haven’t experienced it my self but it seems quite plausible. And I find the math in your equation confusing.. 99%? So POC are never rude to anyone ? Or maybe you meant 99% of the time when its a white person being rude thy have to wonder?

      • Patricia says:

        What I mean is, if someone is rude to a white person that person rarely has to wonder if the rudeness was due to race. What I mean is white people generally don’t have to ask themselves “am I being mistreated because of my race?”, whereas people of color have to ask themselves this all the time.
        Are white people sometimes mistreated due to their race? Sure. Yes. But it’s not a part of our lives to worry about this, because it’s rare and not part of our culture at large.
        Are people of color sometimes mistreated due to their race? Yes, every day and all the time and in every part of our culture.

        I would also point out a difference between white people having someone be rude to them because of their race (a minor but upsetting incident) and people of color facing systemic and ongoing discrimination due to their race (a major problem that suppresses and hurts people in very real terms).

      • lizzie says:

        Fiorella – the difference is that white people haven’t been living under the constant evolving threat of enslavement, rape, torture, abuse, police dog attacks, houses being burned, false arrest or police brutality by POC since the beginning of time. 50 years ago a black person in Louisiana wouldn’t even be allowed at a concert with white people and if they happened to be there and there was a perceived slight against the white people behind them – they would be publicly lynched and it would be so normal that all the little white children would watch and cheer. so next time you feel a POC being rude to white people because of their race is the same thing – read a history book.

      • Annetommy says:

        Right. So if someone’s rude to me lizzie, I have to do a socio- political analysis – presumably based purely on the way they look – before I can decide if I’m justifiably offended.

      • Snowflake says:

        @ annetommy
        Isnt that what we are doing here with solange, trying to decide she should be offended? If as a white person, you are upset because you feel someone was nasty to you because you are white, then imagine how it would feel to be discriminated against all the time! It’s not a contest. Racist comments are not cool, no matter who it’s directed at.

        I’m white, my husband is mixed. One of the neighbors asked me how long I lived here, did I live here before I met my husband? I told him yes, I got my house on a VA loan, I met my husband later on. I started to feel uncomfortable and cut it short. A week later, my husband saw this asshole at the mailbox and this asshole told him he has a nice setup. In other words, calling my husband a bum. My husband was so humiliated he cried. It broke my heart and I felt so bad for revealing all this personal info that gave a bigot the information he needed to confirm his racist feelings. Can you imagine how my husband felt? I never realized how good I have it till I met my husband. Imagine living that reality from day to day? So no offense, but the one or two times you’ve had to deal with racism is a drop in a bucket compared to what POC deal with constantly.

      • Annetommy says:

        Snowflake, that sounds lousy and those people should be ashamed. There are far too many bigots about, ready to disrespect and oppress people on the basis of race, gender, creed, economic status, country of origin, sexual orientation, age, appearance etc etc etc. It has been a depressing few months seeing quite overt racism and bigotry flourishing in the US political mainstream. It is despicable on a political and on an individual basis.

    • msd says:

      @Patricia. Your comments about poc always having to wonder whether they are being treated a certain way because of their race are valid. That experience is very real – because racism exists. The only thing I can equate it to is being a woman in a very male-dominated environment, something I have experienced a lot. It’s exhausting having to second guess comments and behaviour all the time; it’s exhausting being unsure of people’s motives. My experience of that is real too – because sexism exists. I don’t know the answer, all I can say is that now, in my 40s, it’s different – for me – to when I was in my 20s. I start from a position of good will, of giving male colleagues the benefit of the doubt, and wait to be proved wrong rather than the other way round. That’s the only way I can operate that doesn’t make me carry tension around constantly. That doesn’t mean my previous experience wasn’t valid, it was, but my experience now is valid too. I don’t know how that relates to this incident in particular, it’s a poor example … I guess the point is that her feelings are real (they are) even if her ascribing of racial motivations wasn’t the actual reality (they weren’t rude because of her race)?

  18. Cinderella says:

    Those women could have very well been racist, white, middle-aged b*tches who should be called out, but at the same time, is Solange really living in fear of white women? She kicked Jay-Z’s ass for crying out loud!

    • Osito says:

      Well, “living in fear of,” might be a bit hyperbolic, but this equation of her lashing out at Jay-Z (and from my recollection, it wasn’t a total KO), and being uncomfortable in a space that isn’t traditionally safe for black people is part of the perception problem. However strong, or fierce, or threatening, or powerful a person seems, it doesn’t make them impervious to physical threats or verbal/emotional harassment. Being singled out is embarrassing, and sometimes scary, and her reaction was human and fitting: she expressed anger, confusion, and the desire to not get ratchet in front of her child. Solange might feel totally capable of self-righteously standing up to family in a heated moment, but feel isolated and powerless when confronted by two strangers. Being a strong black woman doesn’t make you bullet-proof.

  19. Mindrew says:

    all right. I just went to Kraftwerk’s official website just to see if this was one of those immersive 3D concerts. It WAS.

    This almost definitely wasn’t a racism issue. This was PROBABLY Solange and family acting like privileged assholes, blocking the 2-3 rows behind them from enjoying the show like they should. And just a guess here… considering who she is, her tickets were probably comped, and the people she pissed off paid full price or more for the experience.

    • Aiobhan says:

      If you actually go to her timeline and read all the tweets you would know that the assholes who threw the lime got up and danced later on. The other stuff you mentioned is completely irrelevant to what happened to her. You don’t know how she got those tickets at all. even if she did get free tickets that does not excuse the rude asshats’ behavior.

      Also, are Solange and her son and husband giants? How are three people even able to block 2-3 full rows behind them?

  20. Karen says:

    I bet a million bucks those 4 white ladies would have thrown a lime at anyone, including other white people, who stood up and blocked their view. My problem is celebrities like Solange going on social media to accuse random people of racism. Thats a serious accusation. There are two sides of every story and the truth is in the middle.

    I get that this is Solanges perception and thus the reality she lives in- that women throw crap at her at concerts because she’s black. What an awful reality to live in, truly. Its almost a self fufilling prophecy for her.

    I’m latina in a white upper class neighborhood in Silicon Valley. I understand racism. The bagger at Safeway didnt offer to help me carry my bags out last week. I told him, well- I guess i have to make two trips to my car. He said ok fine. Didnt lift a finger. Didnt offer to help as they do everytime. He handed me a bag with a broken handle when I came back for the second bag. I told him it was broken so he told me just hold it from the bottom. I was so pissed. Do i think he was refusing to help me because I’m Mexican? Nope, he was just a lazy teenager. It wasnt racist- he was mexican too. Sometimes people are just rude!

    • Lola says:

      Actually, Mexicans are super racist, specially against one another.
      My uncle lived in the USA for about 25 years and said the worse racism always came from other Mexicans. And Mexicans in Mexico, well, that’s something most people don’t even care to discuss thinking “it’s just how it is”.

      • FingerBinger says:

        Actually all mexicans aren’t super racist. Try not generalizing a group of people.

      • Saks says:

        Racism in Mexico is different than in the US. For example, most people won’t give a black person a hard time. The real issue in Mexico is with our indigenous people, they are super mistreated and the word “indio” is thrown around like an insult, yet this has a lot to with socioeconomics and politics. A rich or famous brown/black person won’t be misstreated in Mexico.
        The Mexicans that go to the US, are a group completely different in these issues. You have to understand that they are a targeted group who feel diminish by everyone.
        Also, I really hope you didn’t threw that “mexicans are racist” without a real knowledge of the matter.

      • Mae says:

        @Saks: Yes, good point on how racism plays out differently in different places. This point sort of gets lost when speaking in generalities. Reading the comments, I can see my perspective is also skewed based on where and how I grew up. There are definitely place/race/socioeconomic interactions that make the conversation more complex.

  21. caty1313 says:

    And I bet that most of those saying this isn’t a “race” issue are of the very light persuasion. Isn’t it just wonderful that white people STILL get to tell poc when it is or is not a “race” issue? And isn’t it just ducky that all of the people commenting on here how it is not, get to tell a black woman how she should feel? By the comments you are making of trying to negate and lessen how this black woman was feeling and tell her how she should feel, is one of the very definitions of racism. and all of your privileges make you all too blind and insular to see that.

  22. Pandy says:

    I have no idea if this is racially motivated (hoping not), but I can share that I was yelled at for dancing at a Neil Young concert. Can’t get much whiter than that show! And I’m white as well. I think most people want to sit and listen and there I was, standing up and blocking their view of the stage while I danced. So, it happens at concerts, no matter what your race. The lime toss was just out and out rude though.

  23. als says:

    If people were arogant and ballsy enough to through limes at them I don’t see why they would shy away from showing their racism full on and tell Solange exactly what they think of her color.
    Not questioning that Solange definitely thinks this was a race issue but I am questioning how aware she is of her own privilege that gives a limited view on racism. Solange has always had the privilege of money and money knows no color, gender or race. She was never a POC that screwed up and did not get a second chance, she was never the POC on minimum wage. There is racism in her industry but at the end of the day she gets the paper out and she shuts their mouths.

    If she wanted to discuss race she should have changed the tone of the story, she should have mentioned that she is Solange and some idiots threw limes at her. What happens to those people that are not related to Beyonce?
    So I don’t care to relate to her or her story because it’s all about her and her kid and I am sorry for them. I like her style but in no way do I compare my struggles with hers. In no way did she ever indicate that she cares about race issues when they don’t affect her personally. She is Solange Knowles, she has a platform, she could have spoken up before people threw limes. Shit happened to her and she’s mad. Well, shit happens.

    • Josefina says:

      “If people were arogant and ballsy enough to through limes at them I don’t see why they would shy away from showing their racism full on and tell Solange exactly what they think of her color.”

      So throwing a lime is on the same level as yelling the n-word in your opinion?

      All the people arguing about this NOT being racism only makes Solange sound more credible tbh.

    • Goldie says:

      I don’t follow Solange closely, but I know that this is not the first time that she has spoken about racial issues. She even recently shared that she moved her money to a black-owned bank to help support the black community. You should do some research before you accuse her of not caring about racial issues.

    • Honestly you should do some research period.

    • mee says:

      just because she’s privileged doesn’t mean that she doesn’t experience racism. Does a wealthy white woman not experience sexism? tell that to hillary clinton.

  24. JustJen says:

    Idk..her rep for being antagonistic makes me doubt this went down how she said it went down. Also, I just attended a Demi Lovato / Nick Jonas concert with my daughter and her friend and I’d like to know how someone got a whole lime in the venue. They wouldn’t even let us keep our bottle caps when we bought bottled water.

  25. naomipaige says:

    It’s amazing how some people are so quick at shouting racism. I’m sorry she felt that way, and I know this is her opinion, but I find nothing racist about it. I would have thrown something as well if someone was blocking my view, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with what race they were! Everyone needs stop making this a black and white issue. That’s not always the case.

    • Osito says:

      You shouldn’t resort to invading someone’s space to get what you want. Just tell the ushers or the venue manager…9 times of 10, they will not do jack to the people blocking your view, but if you have just the right mix of irate and civil, you will be given a better seat.

  26. Sunnyjyl says:

    The musicians WANT you to get up and dance. They encourage it; that’s what all of those arm raises on stage are about. This happens at nearly every concert I go to. Some rude person was yelling at someone to sit down at a Diana Ross concert, this summer. Diana Ross! You stand up for Ms. Ross. Not to mention, she told us to get up.

  27. Antigone says:

    I am a white, 40 something woman who lives in a multicultural, urban area and interacts with people of different ethnicities on a daily basis. Because of my job and because I live in a racially diverse city, I am often one of the few (or only) white people in a business, area, etc. This has been a great experience in part because it has helped me gain some perspective on how it must feel to be non Caucasian/non majority in many parts of this country. It can be uncomfortable at times and when people are rude you sometimes wonder if it’s because of your race.

    I have no idea obviously if the rude white women who threw the lime are racist. I can see why Solange could have perceived it that way, though-maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. I will say that I don’t think putting it out there on social media and presenting it as a racial incident was necessarily a good idea. It just fans the flames of racial distrust and frustration and isn’t constructive. It’s not nuanced and it’s presumptive. It would obviously be different if she had been called a racial eptithet. I experience incidences on a regular basis that could be interpreted as racist but they are probably most of the time just due to rudeness-the thing is that I will never know and Solange won’t know for a fact either.

    That being said, as a white woman
    I admit that “white privilege” does exist. My husband and I were walking in a predominantly white, wealthy area a week ago (just for entertainment to look at some of the houses) and we both commented that we would have gotten more scrutiny, stares, etc had we been non Caucasian. We both talked about how being able to walk in an area such as this one without fear of being scrutinized, approached, etc is definitely white privilege and something I think whites in general aren’t often aware of.

  28. HK9 says:

    Here’s the thing, no one has to agree this was racially motivated. You have the choice of seeing it any way you like. Since I wasn’t there, all I’m going to do is listen. If she felt unsafe, that’s how she felt and that’s probably for a reason. And please note that those who threw a lime at her, got away with it. Where I live, you would have been ejected from the venue for doing it.

    However, whether you like it or not, most of our communication is non verbal and we pick up the intent behind the words & actions. As a black person, I’ve interacted with people who used the ‘wrong words’ and continue to but you know what, I damn well know they respect my humanity and in now way are they racist. I knew it at 6 years old, I know it as an adult.

    Black people are subjected to racism from the time they are old enough to comprehend language all throughout their lives. We know exactly what it is and what it’s not.

  29. Jellybean says:

    It is real shame that she feels unsafe in a white space. it is a real shame that people feel there are white and black spaces. I myself have no problem telling people off if I have paid to watch something and my enjoyment is being ruined by someone else’s behaviour, but without being there I really have no idea whether it was appropriate to stand up and dance or not. However, throwing something is completely unacceptable whatever the circumstances.

  30. Season says:

    I went to the Kraftwerk show in Oslo. Yes, everyone stayed seated. No, people were not still. We were all kind of dancing in our seats. It’s not the type of show you’d be expected to sit still at, but it’s not like going to see Beyoncé, where everyone is up and dancing. There is a big screen behind them showing a video, but if people are standing you will not be able to see them on stage.

    That said, throwing things at someone is unnecessary and rude. I’m mostly confused about why someone had a lime with them to throw it. Who takes random citrus to a concert?

  31. Itdoesmatter says:

    I am white as snow and have been in situations where my family and I are the only whites in a room of blacks. And yes, at times we have been treated rudely by individuals. But I always figured if you have a large group of people, the rude ones always are the loudest. In this case, if you have 1500 people, the odds are there are going to be some assholes in the crowd. Assholes come in all colors and religions. It ain’t all about you!

    • Osito says:

      Her is experience is pretty much all about her. If people have been rude to you, for whatever reason, you can address that however you wish. If it’s racially motivated, you are allowed to call it racist. But that’s *your* experience. Let her experience be hers.

  32. Colette says:

    Like I said on the Zendaya thread I wonder if four men had told a woman to sit down and threw a lime at her if posters here what just say they were rude.I suspect her gender would be brought up.I suspect sexism or misogyny would be brought up.I could be wrong.

  33. LOLADOESTHEHULA says:

    Someone on twitter coined a new word a few months ago: Caudacity (caucasian + audacity). Thank you all for giving me yet another situation to apply it to. It takes a level of white entitlement I can’t even fathom for a white person to tell a black woman that what they experienced definitely wasn’t racism, especially when they weren’t even fucking there. If you think it’s only racism if the offender mentions race or uses a slur this conversation is way above your paygrade.

    My favourites are those of you who don’t wanna believe that white women were being racist because there’s no proof, but are perfectly comfortable assuming Solange acted rude, entitled and “got in [people's] faces”. Like, could you be any more transparent?

    This shit happens every single time a poc shares their experiences with racist microaggressions. The language and the excuses are almost identical in every situation. Seriously, if you’re interested in some white privilege déjà vu, go read the James Blake thread from a year ago (or Oprah’s from years ago) and compare it to this one or the Zendaya one. The ‘Racism? What racism?’ act is nothing but a tactic to protect white privilege by derailing conversations about racism.

  34. Lana says:

    I was at that show. If Solange had wanted to dance, she should have bought floor tickets. People were dancing all over in the back part of the floor, and even up in front where it was crowded people were moving to the beat as they could. So, she bought tickets late in the game or she didn’t find out about the show until floor was sold out. So she got $49 balcony tickets (floor was like $10 more). People were seated in balcony. The other thing is, she didn’t come in until well after the show started. So, balcony people had been sitting there, watching the show in their 3D glasses, and then somebody comes in late and starts standing up in front of them, dancing. I guess show is over for those sad chumps, huh? Because the latecomers didn’t care.
    So these women were yelling across at Solange to “sit down now”- yes, a demand, the kind of thing that gets yelled out at shows and movie theaters to rude people. Do you walk over to a person, tap them on the shoulder, and say, why please sir and madam, would you mind terribly not doing that? No, you can’t talk over the music in a normal speaking voice much less get near them. The volume is too high. And tapping a shoulder at a show might be considered aggressive.
    So Solange ignores them and is basically like “this is about me, fuck your experience.” They throw a lime- NOT COOL. Those women shouldn’t have done that. But it wasn’t because of race, it’s because they were frustrated at being ignored. She got treated like any other rude, selfish concert attendee- SHE GOT TREATED LIKE ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE. Is that so crazy to comprehend? Maybe for Solange, I heard she has problems being treated like a normal person even though ostensibly celeb types move to New Orleans for exactly that. We have a shit-ton of celebrities here at any given time and most of them like that they get treated like normal people.
    I have been to many, many shows over 30 years and seen many incidents. I saw an incident at a show in Atlanta a couple weeks ago where when the music started a dude got up on his chair, and guy behind him was like NO WAY and they had words and almost tangled- chair guy was like fuck you, I want to see and guy behind him was like, yes, we ALL want to see, get down from your chair so I can see too. Chair guy ignored him for a few minutes, other people around them made kind of grumbling comments, and he finally got back down. He apparently actually got the point of not being rude and selfish. Solange didn’t- she turned it into something that was not about her individual behavior, because she didn’t want to answer for her individual behavior. Some people are like that, no matter their race, economic status, etc. So I think in this case she is in the wrong.
    None of this is to say racism isn’t a fact. But in this case, it doesn’t appear to have influenced the incident. And Solange is using her celebrity status to make a big deal of it- because she’s pissed somebody told her what to do. Ok, fine, be pissed. But don’t attribute it to something indefensible (racism) when it’s quite likely that your own individual behavior contributed to the situation. That’s a narcissistic cop-out. The fact that they didn’t know who she was and she got treated like anyone else acting inconsiderately at a concert is not racism. She decided to frame it that way so she wouldn’t have to examine whether she might have been being a jerk.

    • IE says:

      I don’t think that people actually want to hear that Solange was actually rude. I agree that many people are closeted racists, but I don’t see racism in this case

      • Osito says:

        @IE I personally don’t care if she was rude. She probably was. It doesn’t invalidate her perception or excuse the bad behavior of the other party.

        If they were all the same race, but the other group was a couple of men, and she said “Check out this misogyny…” would people scramble to disprove her analysis?

      • IE says:

        Osito I am one of this people who won’t call out anyone. I have no real experience about racism, because I’m white and live in a mostly white country, but people shouldn’t ruin for other’s. I don’t know if I explain correctly what I mean, but people should respect other people.

      • Osito says:

        IE, I don’t typically call people out either. Not a very confrontational person. If someone was annoying me, I’d either try to talk politely or I’d move myself. Why make a big deal of nothing? But if someone *threw* something at me, I’d at least report them to security. That’s ridiculous behavior, and it speaks to their understanding of what’s acceptable to do to my body. Not cool.

    • Osito says:

      Did you see this interaction?

      I give Solange the benefit of the doubt, as I’ve explained upthread,* because I trust anyone who is a victim of someone else’s targeted aggression to be able to define how they were victimized. The incident may have started due to her tone-deafness, but it didn’t need to escalate. That shouldn’t happen to anyone, regardless of race. And if it felt like racism to her, as one of a few identifiably black people (we know NOLA) in a place packed with thousands of people, then let her call it what it is to her. If one of the women who threw the lime wants to out themselves and talk about why they did it, I might maybe be swayed that it wasn’t racist and Solange was seeing things. But then again, I might not because it’s like saying to a victim of any other kind of assault “Sure. Ok. But let me talk to the person who assaulted you before I form an opinion…”

      *I have been all up and down this thread today because I am a daily lurker and once-in-a-blue-moon commenter who is *appalled* at the level of seemingly willful obtuseness going on here today. Normally CB is a lovely place (I didn’t read the Zendaya story the other day because I was busy), and I chuckle at the comments and nod in agreement at the intelligent, insightful remarks of bulk of you guys. But today, I’ve seen some ideas tossed out under the guise of innocent “common sense” that are actually kind of terrifying. It makes me think of all the times I’ve been shouted down when trying to address similar issues, and how we’re looking at a world growing ever-more weary of people asking for consideration. How will I be treated under a President Trump, if all people who complain are “losers” and “wimps”? What precedent are we setting? How do we build bridges if I can’t tell you how I’m feeling?

      • IE says:

        Osito I’m really saddened to hear that you are scared living under Trump, I hope he won’t get elected, thankfully I’m not from US. I really like CB, I have learned so much from people here.
        I read Lanas comment and it seamed that she was at place and the way she explained it seemed that Solange thought that because of her celebrity status she’s allowed to came late and be rude, but that’s just my opinion

      • Osito says:

        @IE It seemed to me that she was saying she was at the event, but it didn’t seem to me that she saw the interaction. I could be wrong. I just don’t see how her rudeness excuses the rudeness of any other person.

        I think some people are misunderstanding an aspect of this situation, and that is the gravity of it. If Solange really felt that this was an instance of racism, she probably felt offended, violated, embarrassed, angry, and maybe a little scared. But we’re not talking quaking-in-fear-of-the-lynch-mob scared, and unless she has PTSD from other experiences, we shouldn’t be. The situation in and of itself was just not that serious. Most people, regardless of race, should be able to understand that we can adjust our levels of outrage to fit the situation.

        What *is* really serious is what happened in the aftermath, where a) this woman is not believed because of her “history,” because of prejudice, because of things I can’t fathom; b) people seem really intent on making sure that she isn’t believed; and c) this is blamed on social “weakness” — people are actually justifying mean behavior by saying that she deserved the mean behavior because anyone who acted the way she did would deserve that behavior. That’s what’s scarier than anything. I’m reading comments from avatars and names that I have seen express nuanced, empathetic sentiments about why it’s important to support survivors of DV or rape or other forms of assault based on their stories now seemly shut down their empathy centers in this question of race. It makes me think of all the times I have needed support and not received it on this very subject (not S.Knowles specifically, but other things similar). This is sad and scary and exhausting, and for now I’m done with it.

      • Fiorella says:

        Osiro I think it could be racism but it’s a small incident that solange could have prevented by not acting like a special snowflake. People rarely say please in the movie theatre. She should have sat down then. I don’t live somewhere where there are many black people but usually “sit DOWN” or “QUIET” is what’s said in the cinema. And sometimes it’s said to me. And I would do it immediately, and be embarrassed that I had inconvenienced others and been noticed as the rude/inconsiderate of the group. Maybe the reason she didn’t want to tell security is because then they would investigate and tell her to stop dancing/stay seated.
        If I did what solange did and men were mysogynistic and called me sexist slurs, I couldn’t really get security to make them stop without security likely telling me to stop blocking their view. It’s cool that she has shared her emotions about it but I don’t think she has acknowledged to herself how inconsiderate and selfish she acted. Though, I’m unsure about he whole thing because it’s unclear why the women behind her did dance later.

    • jc126 says:

      Interesting info, and not shocking. Has she assaulted anyone in an elevator lately, I wonder?

  35. sanders says:

    I don’t get how some of the white posters here know exactly what is racism and what is not. I have a hard time believing that white people spend much of their waking hours thinking deeply about racism , yet when the topic comes up, they are the experts.

    The sad reality is that POC are the experts on racism, not because it’s a fun topic or that we love lording our knowledge over white people. We know all about it because we live in a racist society and we need to know all aspects of the dominant groups behaviour, whether institutionally or on a personal, micro level, just to get through our day.

  36. DeadlyKitten says:

    TLDR; it was a sit-down concert and Solange stood up, danced and blocked the view for people behind her. She turned her rudeness into “racism”. Who cares what color you are, rudeness is rudeness and people should be called out for it.

    • LOLADOESTHEHULA says:

      Interesting that you seem more offended by her standing at a concert than you are by the racist white assholes who assaulted her.

  37. Shelley says:

    90% of the comments here are the reason why White people are exhausting when it comes to racial dynamics. Always so quick to dismiss experiences of POC as not racist as if it collectively scores you brownie points in some way. The default setting to be dismissive of people’s experiences counts as racism. Thinking you know better what constitutes a racist act as someone who can never be a victim of racism is racist. Racism isn’t limited to lynching and racial slurs. It can be nuanced and elegant. Microaggressions are tools by which most of society gets to be racist without any “evidence”. Black people really don’t get a single moment to switch off from a racist society.

  38. Apples says:

    “Why are people so consistently pissed off when black people tell stories about their lived experiences of being black in “white spaces”??” -

    As someone who wasn’t born and raised in the US and came here over a decade ago so I can make neutral observation, I’d say that’s because white people will get shut down immediately if they as much as hint at race. When I first moved here I found it very odd that here people constantly talk in code and are afraid to say anything if it is connected to race. Whites will be called racist if they say anything about blacks, blacks will be accused of playing the “race card” if they talk about whites. And round and round it goes.

    But besides all that, what I want to know is:
    1) Was she the only person dancing at the concert and blocking the view of the people sitting behind her? It’s unclear if everyone else was sitting, watching the concert and she was up dancing. If this wasn’t a standing concert – she shouldn’t have been standing.
    2) When did anyone mention anything about race – those women behind her were jerks, but how did this get to be a race issue?

    • IE says:

      I think you should read Lanas comment

    • Osito says:

      I think it’s also an issue of people not knowing how to address the current and historical problems associated with American racism. It sucks to be called a racist, but it must suck even more knowing that you have no real ability to address systemic racism, and that as an individual some (or much) of what you have learned is wrong, or unethical, or amoral, or whatever. As a black person, I dislike talking bout about race casually, because I don’t want to end up hating my friends, or having to “educate” someone about “my culture.” My culture is American culture. It’s got bits from a lot of cultures wrapped up into it. Much of it is glorious, but it can also be incredibly problematic. Because I’m an adult, when I’m told that I’m being racist, I’ve learned to apologize and ask what to do next, which is basically how you’re supposed to act any time you offend someone in civil society, right?

    • KB says:

      I’m not sure what country you’re from, but you’re not taking into consideration the history of race in this country. The experiences and values of our parents, grandparents, etc. shape the way we look at the world. She’s probably grown up hearing stories about segregation and racism, at the very least. And it’s quite possible those same women throwing the limes grew up hearing racist things from their relatives. It’s not an “all things being equal” situation.

  39. Noor88 says:

    The only offensive thing I see is the fact she has no neck.

    PS – get some manners Solange, you dont have a right to stand up and block other peoples view who also paid for their ticket and every right just like you, to VIEW the show.

    Self entitlement at its finest.

    • Colette says:

      And you should have objects thrown at you if you break the rules.Learn your place,Solange.

    • LOLADOESTHEHULA says:

      Yes NOOR88, the victim of an assault should definitely be the one minding their manners, not, ya know, the classless, racist assholes who assaulted her.

      ETA: I also love that you found the time to throw in some body shaming in there too. You’re quite…something.

  40. MerlinsWife says:

    This has happened to me at a concert before. I was young, and had been so so excited to see the band, but that incident pretty much ruined my night. I was one white person of many, though.

  41. Chaz says:

    If it is a seated venue and the person in front of you stands up and dances, by the sound of it there weren’t many doing so, then the person behind you either has to stand up too or will tell you to sit down.
    That isn’t race, it’s just a rich priviledged z-celeb getting their knickers in a twist because they didn’t bow down to her awesomeness.
    Not everything is about the colour of your skin.
    Now I would have probably got up and danced too or suggested dancing in the aisle instead, which many do.

  42. Trixie says:

    I have never heard of Kraftwerk.

    If someone was standing and dancing in front of me blocking my view, I’d tell them to sit down, too. But UGH at people throwing things at others, that is not how you handle a situation. Those lime-throwers should have gotten kicked out.

  43. Pepper says:

    Eh, by her own admission she came in late without floor tickets. I’ve been to this concert twice. It’s a visual experience with 3D glasses, more like going to the opera or even a movie than a dance concert. If you buy floor tickets you get up and dance, if you have tickets elsewhere you sit and watch the show. Towards the end there’s some songs where everyone gets up and dances because the visual show slows down a bit, but otherwise, if you’re standing in the seated area you’re blocking a huge part of the show for other people. The women shouldn’t have thrown anything at her, but having interacted with Solange a few times, I highly doubt she didn’t completely lose her shit at them when they told her to sit down. Plus she threw a heavy glass vase at my face once, so I’m not going to cry over her getting hit with a wedge of lime.

    The response to her post was definitely racist, but the actual event, nah. She was late, which is rude enough to the band, and she completely misread the vibe of the concert and still didn’t correct herself when called out on it. The other women could have handled it better, but it’s hard to deal with crap like this at a concert.

  44. Maria says:

    Racism is alive and well on this thread. Note: if this was a white woman at a predominantly black gathering (both fans and music) who was TOLD, not asked, to sit down and had something thrown at her, you all would not be reacting this way. Here’s what’s offensive:

    1. The immediate assumption that this Black woman is lying.
    2. The accusation of her pulling “the race card.” Yes, this term was used without irony.
    3. The wild speculations about what “really” happened that casts her in the worst light possible, rather than the people who verbally and physically assaulted her. She must have been unruly. Someone actually wrote she may have had her behind in their faces (WTF??).
    4. Bringing up gossip about what she’s “really” like, to discredit her.

    This is why women of color give you and your brand of feminism the side eye. You treat us exactly the way misogynistic men treat you when you are assaulted or raped. With disbelief, disrespect, and blame. Great job, ladies. Time for another extended break from CB’s comment thread.

    • Almondjoy says:

      Yes to every single thing you said, down to the very last sentence.

    • Mary Mary says:

      Maria: I am light skinned Puerto Rican and I don’t make assumptions about any race.

      I don’t see a black person lying. I do see credibility issues from a privileged celebrity background, who has melt down issues when she doesn’t get her way. She discredited herself in my eyes, when she was kicking her brother-in-law. Who does that? No, one I know. By, the way, that kicking her brother-in-law was a viral video and not gossip.

      The thing is if one act’s like an ass, one may get treated like an ass .

    • IE says:

      Maria do you actually read what other people wrote who was there? Because I did. She was asked several times to sit down, but she ignored it. She came in late, blocked views, she’s rude, but it’s Ok right?

    • Shelley says:

      Yes!

    • jeanpierre says:

      Thanks Maria. And I thought CB wasn’t that kind of place…

    • God I want to marry this whole comment, especially this part:

      “This is why women of color give you and your brand of feminism the side eye. You treat us exactly the way misogynistic men treat you when you are assaulted or raped. With disbelief, disrespect, and blame. Great job, ladies.”

      Exactly. “Let’s all work together” when it’s about misogyny and their problems and when it’s about racism it’s “Are you sure? Could it be? Maybe it was this instead?” Exhausting.

  45. Linda says:

    I have told people at concerts to sit down because they were blocking my view. I paid a lot of money to go to concerts. People always sit down or move to an appropriate place to stand. She is dramatic many times. So tired of everything being assumed to be about race.

  46. Georgia says:

    I think that we can all agree that people can be nasty independently from their skin color. There are many reports about Solange being a jerk. Can we say it’S highly probable she is not the nicest person? We can also all agree that people who throw things at others are most undoubtedly jerks too. This doesn’t make them necessarily racist. We should never presume people to be more than what their action and words prove them to be. It wasn’t right when Lena Dunham, a non tall, non particularly beautiful, non slim woman found herself in a room full of models and projected her insecurities and prejudice on others, and it isn’t right when Solangé does it this time. Perception is not reality.

    • jeanpierre says:

      What? OBJ didn’t even look at or talked to LD. Solange was yelled at and assaulted. This have nothing to do with perception.

  47. Dino says:

    The only person of privilege there was her ! And she was probably wearing one of her ridiculous outfits that took up the space of two more people

  48. Vierge says:

    @Shambles – thank you so much for your words. I am a black woman and my husband is not. He has no clue about what my sons have gone thru. Or myself …and makes comments that break my heart. i wish that were slot more @Shambles I this world

  49. Jessica says:

    To all the white women posting that you somehow KNOW that this black woman did not experience racism, you are complicit. We (white people) need to listen more, talk less

  50. Vierge says:

    @AIOBAHN … Preach. Your comments are insightful and respectful. It is painful/funny reading the scenario building comments,.

  51. RN says:

    Solange needs to check her rich woman privilege. You know she wasn’t seated on some old ratty picnic blanket with the general public. She shelled out the big bucks for awesome seats. Well, so did the women behind her. Only maybe they had to save up their money over a long period of time, because they’re not related to an extremely wealthy singer. Maybe they just wanted to see the show that they also paid damn good money for. But Solange feels so privileged that she believes that she should inconvenience others just because SHE wants to move her ass. What an incredibly privileged, rich woman, snotty thing to do. She’s already set apart from 99% of the world with her money, so people shouldn’t be defending her. She’s no victim.

  52. NoraboBora says:

    Many, many of you need to educate yourselves. You are very lucky to have patient WOC in here to explain their experiences, trying to open your eyes, but it is not their job to teach you. Google white privilege. Google microaggressions. Google white fragility. Sleep on it, evaluate yourself, and re-read your posts to see if you feel appropriately embarrassed. Many of you are not being good allies to a community that needs them.

    • Chaz says:

      @NoraBoBora Nobody is saying white priv. doesn’t exist and that it isn’t a daily issue for many people, but sometimes an arsewipe is just an arsewipe.
      Are people with different skin tones treated differently..absolutely, however it is a fallacy to assume everyone acts on the same stereotypical assumptions.
      There is such a thing as black bias, and I mean the one that automatically assumes any white person perceives any non-white in a particular way.
      Instead of Solange seeing/hearing angry lady behind me doesn’t want to look at my butt wiggle in her face for an hour, she sees white woman/person oppressing me because I am black.
      We wouldn’t be having this convo if the woman with the ass in her face was also black. Then it would just be someone was rude, instead of a national incident of racism.
      It works both ways sometimes.
      Which again does not mean that racism or white priv doesn’t occur. In this scenario it is being used as an excuse for her lack of consideration for others.

      • Six of Nine says:

        @ Chaz

        Thank you for your posting.

        Though one can probably add that the white ladies didn’t make their demand in a polite way and that throwing a lime isn’t polite either.

  53. Mrs Fancy Pants says:

    WE DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED GUYS!!! I think Solange is unlikely to say ‘I was being an ass and got called out’ just as much as the lime women are unlikely to say ‘we threw it because she was black’! The entirety of this thread is projection, and honestly the debates should be a good opportunity for experiences to be shared and vented, they shouldn’t be as polarising as this but the way the majority are being fought it’s getting very ignorant on the one side and preachy on the other.. Neither are conducive in my opinion!

  54. Colette says:

    We don’t what happened.In Solange’s essay she gave more details including she had just arrived when this incident occurred and hadn’t sat down yet.She heard a song she loved and just started dancing.She also says she never accused the women of being racist just talked about how she feels in some spaces despite having many white friends including half of her wedding party.Most importantly she talked about what it is like to feel like you never belong.I totally relate I often feel like a visitor in this country despite the fact my family has been here over 400 years.

    Hours after reading Solange essay I was mistaken for a housekeeper at a hotel I am staying at despite wearing a pink silk blouse and black slacks.Because housekeepers clean rooms in silk blouses.#sarcasm This has happened dozens of times before but it gets tiring when people make you feel like you don’t belong(you can’t possibly be a hotel guest you are obviously The Help).

  55. confused says:

    Not everything that happens between a person of color and a white person is racism. Does it happen sometimes, sure. But assuming everything interaction is racism is delusion. If we are moving to a society that wants to think that way, then we are headed for destruction. People are afraid to talk to one another or interact for fear of being branded racist. Listen to Where is the Love by the BEP. Love is the solution to racism.

  56. Beckysuz says:

    I rarely comment on threads like this, mostly because I’m a white woman and I know that my experiences are not the same as a WOC. I do always read all the comments though, as I feel that I learn new things every time. It really helps me understand both my place and privilege in the world, and how different it can be for others.

    I lived in Detroit until I was 10, and most of my young childhood my friends were black. But I still remember the time(I was maybe 7) I said to my cousin (in front of my black friend) that “they” (black people) sometimes talked differently than “we” did. Now I was a kid, and I suppose I thought I was just making an observation. I thought it was the same as someone saying I talked differently because I was Italian. I didn’t understand why my friend cried. When I relayed my confusion to my mother, she set me straight then marched me next door and had me apologize to my friend. She also told me that just because I wasn’t trying to hurt my friend did not take away the fact that I had. Intent while important is only part of it. My responsibility was to learn and then take responsibility and apologize. I still look back at that decades later and cringe that I said that. It helped form my later behavior in that I try to be extra careful to think before I speak ,and that my view of the world is not everyone’s. I’m grateful that my mother taught me to be kind and respectful toward people. No qualifiers on that. All people. But I’m also aware that I have since lived in a bubble of whiteness(we moved to a predominantly white community when I was 10, and I still live in a different but equally white one) , and that can give me a skewed perspective on things. Because I know my kids don’t spend a lot of time around kids not exactly like them, I try to simply teach them to live by the golden rule, and to always treat others how they would like to be treated. Simple idea, but it made a difference for me and I hope will for them. Even so I think our discussions will have to expand as they grow older and go out into the world , and start to see how they exist as people in the broader scheme of things. But I hope that the foundation of always treating others with respect, kindness and and an open mind will serve them well when they do.

    I know this is all horribly off topic and I’m rather rambly, I guess reading all these comments just got me to thinking. I really appreciate the community of commenters on CB and hearing the different perspectives. It makes me aware of ways that I can do better and think better. It makes me aware of the times I don’t look deeper at a situation just because I’m not part of a marginalized group and my experiences aren’t theirs. Anyhoo, ramble over. Just my thoughts today

  57. stinky says:

    this is blowing my mind.
    so far it sounds like y’all seem most bent cause some drunk chicks threw their sliced lime (obvs from a cocktail). lime-throwing equates w/ ‘assault’? youre heading for SECURITY? theres also several commenters that seem puzzled as to the concept of seated concerts (saying “youve never been to a show where people werent dancing”) srsly? … As someone who’s been going to shows since 1979 , when you’re on your feet and dancing in front of seated folk {of any color} – youre an ASSH*LE. END OF.

  58. Crux of Seven says:

    You sure this is about Solange being a POC and it not about the misfortune of having some average fu***ng i**ots jelling and throwing a lime?

    And where exactly is there any kind of racial abuse? No n-word. No mentioning of Solange being a POC. Wouldn’t a white woman dancing in front of a seated audience and blocking their view gotten the same demands and perhaps some things thrown at her?

    As far as I understand it Solange herself felt uncomfortable. And nobody really made her feel uncomfortable at least not as long as she didn’t block people’s view. And when she blocked people’s view there was a demand she sit down. What is wrong with that?
    Okay, throwing that lime is a bit over the top though that is hardly something dangerous to throw at people. And rude is to ignoring the legitimate demand to not block somebody’s view.

    Also yes, it is rude to block people’s view of the concert stage. These people paid for seats and they paid to see the artists on stage. They didn’t pay to see Solange’s dance blocking their view. And as those ladies were “older ladies” as Solange wrote there might be the reasonable assumption that those ladies can no longer dance through a whole concert show.

    And yes, in many concerts (non-classic) there are areas where you can dance and there are areas where sitting down is appreciated.
    Perhaps Solange simply got into the wrong area as in old-people-no-dancing area? Having misplaced/mis-seated myself at soccer games – yes, I can fully understand that you feel very uncomfortable if you happen to end up in the wrong corner with the wrong fans e.g. fans of the other team.