John Travolta says he helped heal car crash victim with a Scientology “assist”

John Travolta

Here’s an amusing yet somewhat frightening story from the life of John Travolta, who not only lays on the PDA to promote his “religion” but also really wants to replace Tom Cruise as the face of Scientology. So I guess it makes sense that John has taken a page from Tom’s crazy CO$ propaganda video, in which the unhinged, lift-wearing midget laughed hysterically and claimed “When you’re a Scientologist, and you drive by an accident, you know you have to do something about it, because you know you’re the only one who can really help.” Now John has appeared within a CO$ publication for an interview that has hit the mainstream press and features John sounding like a total loon while claiming to have helped heal a car crash victim with a broken ankle. This has got to be some Mister Miyagi-grade sh-t, right? Here is the story:

John Travolta

John Travolta: spiritual healer?

The Savages star and Scientologist claimed he helped a car-crash survivor who was suffering from pain from a broken ankle, by using a Scientology procedure called “an assist,” according to Scientology publication Celebrity Magazine.

In the story, reported by Celebuzz, Travolta related the incident to the mag, saying, “I was in Shanghai recently at a work event and the Master of Ceremonies’ best friend had recently gotten into a car wreck. He had broken his ankle and was in constant pain. I asked him permission to do some Scientology assists and he said, ‘Okay, sure’.”

“People were standing around watching as I did them,” the Golden Globe winner continued in the article titled “John Travolta: Stayin’ Very Alive.” “You could actually see him confronting the pain and after a while he looked up at me and said, ‘I feel better,’ so I said ‘Okay, end of assist.’ He had gotten noticeably better and I was chomping at the bit for more.”

A source at the Church of Scientology Celebrity Center told E! News Travolta wasn’t claiming to have cured the crash survivor of his ailments, but that the religion’s “assists” help the body’s natural process of healing itself go at a more rapid pace.

Travolta’s rep has not yet returned requests for comment.

[From E! Online]

Honestly, I think the best part of this story is that the CO$ magazine’s article was titled, “John Travolta: Stayin’ Very Alive.” This cult is so corny like that, and they are completely shameless not only in their unabashed dorkiness but also in their claims to help heal accident victims. Then after they administer their made-up “treatments” and pass out some pamphlets for a free introductory audit and personality exam, they proceed to drain victims’ bank accounts dry. They’ve even been swarming around Hurricane Sandy victims too (I’m not linking to their sites, but you can Google it). And this is the organization for which John Travolta would love to be the public face.

John Travolta

John Travolta

Photos courtesy of WENN

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57 Responses to “John Travolta says he helped heal car crash victim with a Scientology “assist””

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  1. Ms Kay says:

    Next News Headlines: John Travolta being sued for gay sex with a man’s ankle.

    • Miss Kiki says:

      LOLZ. Have we heard anymore about that status of tht whole thing? On a serious note though, why in Xenu’s name won’t anyone tell JT that his Wiglet of Doom is terrifying?!

      • Piper says:

        I think this story is supposed to make us forget there was any scandal and to think of him as some sort of hero…kind of like when Tom cruise drove by the scene of an accident and helped! The COS pr guys must think we’re all really stupid! What an insulting joke to our intelligence!

      • gg says:

        He looks so comical in that bowling ball head disguise.

      • Miss Kiki says:

        @ gg that was actually hilarious I’m totally stealing bowling bowl head from you!

        @Piper I think you’re right, between Cruise and his lifts getting papped all over London and Kirstie Alley and convincing herself that any man who has ever come within a 5 mile radius of her wants to get into her pants, ‘Masseuse-gate’ has been pushed out of the rags. Guys, I think we’re being hoodwinked.

      • ZigZagZoey says:

        I think it makes him look like a sock monkey!

  2. dorothy says:

    This is hysterical!

  3. Vee says:

    Way to bring out more Scientology crazy! These pics are what nightmares are made of, my gosh, when did John become an alien?

  4. judyjudy says:

    John Travolta is crazy. Bat-chit crazy.

  5. smiley says:

    now if he only he could use the assit to move his face a bit….

    • berry says:

      or to grow his own hair.

    • erika says:

      oh God….can someone do a ‘Scientology Assist’ on his FACE?

      “Fire! Fire! Ahhhh Grunt! Grunt!”

      as Frankenstein would say! GOD her looks AWFUL! these pics horrify me! his body is so…wierd? his head looks like one of those Lego men, the toy Lego men who work in construction. What’s with the massive buzz and ther HORRIBLE dye job on top of it???

      Ohhhh CO$…you cracker jack heads. STAY AWAY from Sandy victims. I hope the law allows Sandy Victims to beat the s***t outta any CO$ jerk who dare approaches them.

  6. CandyKay says:

    The guy probably just said ‘I feel better’ to make John go away.

    The story does not make clear whether or not the man in Shanghai with the broken ankle was Chinese, but if he was, he probably had the good manners not to let his overseas guest lose face.

  7. Rux says:

    Anybody ever watch Star Trek: The Next Generation? Do you guys remember Data the robot/android? Does Travolta’s skin not look EXACTLY like Data’s skin on the show?

    • jinni says:

      Ha! Yes it does and the hair sort of looks like Data’s hair too.

    • Pippa says:

      OMG I was trying to think for weeks who he reminded me of and you’re totally right! It’s so creepy, I genuinely think if he stood next to a waxwork of himself I couldn’t tell the difference these days.

    • Agnes says:

      You’re so right! Data’s skin and hair. Without Data’s likeability and innate goodness.

    • Green is Good says:

      Holy shit! He does!

      It’s an insult to androids!

    • Zvonk says:

      Definitely. He must be wearing quite heavy make-up.

      And the hair is atrocious. As a man who started balding at a young age, I can understand the desire to disguise one’s hair loss. I’m not knocking him for wearing a wig (though I choose not to). I think he’d be better served by getting a wig with longer hair, as it wouldn’t look so fake. It also wouldn’t hurt if said wig had grey hairs in it. Nothing looks worse than a man with wrinkled face and jet black hair. It just doesn’t look natural.

    • efwcheryl says:

      Amen! Looks just like DATA!

  8. Mac says:

    Travolta is now at the advanced level known as “Operating Thetan V” (OT5).

  9. Cecada says:

    Replace “assist” with “fondle” and this story makes some sense.

  10. lower-case deb says:

    does he always have that two moles on his head? looks like some XXL vampire just bit him on his forehead.

  11. Arock says:

    If by assist” you mean “blowie” and “ankle” means ” penis” this story makes sense.
    Why oh why can’t he assist another wig onto his head. Remember that guy in shallow Hal? That’s what it looks like. **shudder**

  12. says:

    He could use some of that “assist” to fix his greyish, waxy complexion and spray-on helmet hair.

  13. Cathy says:

    Gawd he’s awful looking. He use to be handsome. Now he’s just fat, he looks like hell and he has a bad haircut. Just ewwwwww.

  14. Green is Good says:

    I didn’t think it was possible to sound this f@cking insane.

  15. Agnes says:

    Crazy freak. How us he not embarrassed by spouting such craziness in public?

  16. Darlene says:

    Dude, what is going on in that last pic?

  17. MrsBPitt says:

    If Scientology can help accident victims, fix broken bones, turn gays straight, control things with their minds and get people off drugs, why oh why can they not get Travolta some hair!!! A Ken dolls hair looks more realistic!

    • Meredith says:

      Very true, Mrs. Pitt. Surely such powerful beings on a loftier perch than the rest of us should be able to get Travolta some hair and Cruise some height. Makes you wonder if they’ re really so powerful after all!

  18. Joy says:

    Someone please explain to me EXACTLY what is on that man’s head. Please.

  19. Krock says:

    I have Scleroderma. I wonder if he can “cure” me? I mean if scientology has the power to heal, why aren’t they helping sick people? Just sayin’. Use your “powers” for good! lol

  20. epiphany says:

    Hey John, I’ve got a bunion that’s killing me!

  21. It doesn’t even not look like his hair, it doesn’t look like the whole top of his head. Like some bad photoshop head stuff!!! Wtf?!

  22. Madriani's Girl says:

    That last shot he looks like a Vulcan after too many mind-melds.

  23. aenflex says:

    Some of the hypnosis and auto-hypnosis practices that Scienos employ actually can be beneficial, especially to those susceptible to them. I guess it’s kind of part placebo effect and part psychology, but in any event I could see some of their techniques working for this type of affliction.

  24. blonde on the dock says:

    His hair looks absolutely ridiculous….like Chia Pet hair. He gives me the creeps.

  25. lucy2 says:

    If they’re trying to make everyone forget his spa groping scandal, perhaps don’t plant a story about him having a healing TOUCH. The jokes just write themselves.

  26. Samihami says:

    How did someone who used to be so adorable turn out to look so horrible? He shouldn’t look so awful. Something very unnatural is going on here.

  27. KellyinSeattle says:

    I like some of his early work, but he’s become so annoying.

  28. Carolyn says:

    Wow. Scientology now does roadside assist.

    Who signed off on this stupid article being made available for public consumption? We’re laughing at Co$, not with them. Co$ needs Aniston’s PR man Huvane to give them a makeover. He made a homely dumped woman into an icon for the minivan majority…imagine what he’d do for Xenu!

  29. Lulu says:

    Bless his little heart. It’s amazing what a placebo will do. Are we sure he was just rubbing this gentleman’s ankle though?

  30. Kim says:

    Well his ex lover the pilot is suing him @TMZ. Lawyer doesn’t deny they were lovers but claim he signed confidentiality agreement

  31. Nonny says:

    What ever is on his head needs to be killed with fire. Yikes! That is a scary monster.

  32. Chrissie Malcolm says:

    … and his hair is real too.