Crystal Harris’ Botoxy face tries to cry: ‘I was not the only woman in Hef’s life’

I believe that Crystal Harris is “24,” I sort-of do. I just think the bitch had so much Botox that she looks about 15 years older easily. That’s what premature work will do to you. It will also make it harder for you to feel empathy or to look like you’re crying when you try to squeeze out some crocodile tears for ditching your octogenarian fiance right before the wedding. We’ve already heard that Crystal went on Ryan Seacrest’s radio show to explain why she broke up with Hef right before the wedding, and she didn’t say much about it, just that she realized it wasn’t the “lifestyle” she wanted (aka not being able to bone other guys under 50). In a new interview on Entertainment Tonight, Crystal tries to add a bunch of other reasons for the breakup that don’t add up. She claims “it all happened so fast,” that Hef had cameras and photographers around when he proposed to her, and that he “doesn’t live a normal lifestyle, there’s women around all the time… I was not the only woman in Hef’s life. A marriage is between two people. That’s not what our relationship was.”

Now this doesn’t jibe with what she’s said in the past. I saw this girl with Hef on the Piers Morgan show in late February, and she was super excited for the wedding and had planned it out down to specific details like where they were going to say their vows. Hef also vowed to be faithful to her (unless she told him it was ok), and she said “I trust him. We have fun… [but] We don’t have a traditional anything.” So she knew what she was getting into, and she had six months from when he proposed to when they were going to get married, that’s not particularly “fast.”

So instead of Crystal being the one who was cheating she’s now claiming Hef was cheating on her. I’m not buying it at all. I think she used him for the money and fame, she had a guy on the side and once she got enough publicity to launch her career she ditched him. All she had to do was hang around for another 10-15 years and she would have been a wealthy woman, but she couldn’t manage even that. She waited until her single came out, though, and until she scored the cover of Playboy.

playboys playmate 070511

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

77 Responses to “Crystal Harris’ Botoxy face tries to cry: ‘I was not the only woman in Hef’s life’”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Eve says:

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! (at the banner picture).

    EDIT: she looks like she’s trying to push out a “difficult one”…you need more fiber + water in your diet, girl.

  2. fabgrrl says:

    I think Hef’s definition of “faithful” is a lot different than most people’s.

  3. teehee says:

    Wow you have to be absolutely out of touch with yourself, to go so far in a direction you dont truly want to go.
    Then you need to be apesnap out of your mind, to not realize that if you date a man like Hefner, you will not be the only woman.
    You also have to be so attracted and enticed by other things– oh i dont know, money, fame, importance- to chase after a situation that doesnt honestly suit you too.
    But I also think, you need to be pretty messed up to seek out a relationship with a guy like that, or to sell yourself out, or to get into that kind of a demeaning business in teh first place. Usually these kind of women have deep seated image and esteem issues or history of abuse.
    But come on, how can you possibly ever dare to say that, even if you are only just pretending and trying to drum up drama and get attention (you want your own reality show)? Just— so dumb. So…. dumb.

  4. shelby says:

    she looks so scary my pug looks cuter than that face…

  5. the original bellaluna says:

    Interesting that after living that “lifestyle” for however many years, she suddenly decided it “wasn’t for her.” I’m thinking more along the lines of “Hef was thisclose to finding out I’ve been cheating on him, and I just got my hands on the final draft of the pre-nup.”

    Honeybuns, a fame-whore is a fame-whore. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fame-whoring Hef Girl, or a fame-whoring “aspiring” musician. A fame-whore is a fame-whore is a fame-whore. (see: those who came before you and those who will surely come after you)

    (Slightly off-topic: I was watching Gene Simmons Family Jewels – please don’t judge me; it was like 3 in the a.m. – and his wife can ONLY BLINK and SLIGHTLY MOVE HER LOWER LIP/JAW! It’s very disconcerting. Is that botox overload? Because WOW.)

  6. irishserra says:

    @Eve: Hilarious! I agree.

    Awww… Poor Crystal. How was she to know what kind of guy Hef is? The man and his lifestyle is a real mystery, ya know?


  7. Andrea says:

    Holly was right all along!

  8. Quest says:

    Ba ha ha ha ha ha ……..bahahahahahahhhhhaaaaaa. OMFG!

    Quote: “he doesn’t live a normal lifestyle, there’s women around all the time… I was not the only woman in Hef’s life. A marriage is between two people. That’s not what our relationship was.”

    Really? Crystal…really? Didn’t you know this shit when you went to his room with only your PJ top on with no bottoms to have random sex in Hef’s room with other playmates….LRMAO

    Marriage has no place in the playboy mansion only viagra. Too much botox it has frozen the braincells on that one.

    Going to roll around on the floor laughing in 5,4,3,2….

  9. NayNay says:

    Come on there, Crystal. Those tears are as fake as your whole body.

  10. AquaticMusings says:

    Am I the only one who doesn’t feel sorry for Hef? The ultimate player got ultimately played and beat at his own game! Hilarious!

  11. NayNay says:

    @original bellaluna:

    I’m with you …

    “A fame-whore is a fame-whore is a fame-whore”

  12. TeeTee says:

    wow, she flipped it and blamed it on Hef’s dong huh??

    she knew what she was getting into, she just found younger greener pastures.

    that pic is horrible!

  13. Hautie says:

    “Am I the only one who doesn’t feel sorry for Hef? The ultimate player got ultimately played and beat at his own game! Hilarious! ”

    No, I have thought the same thing. He got played. By a dang 24 year old. But he lives in a bubble where he thinks he really is a lady killer.

    And now the only acceptable thing to happen, is Holly gets the last laugh. :)

  14. Rita says:

    “Hef also vowed to be faithful to her..”

    Even with his Rosary made of Viagra, she wouldn’t have to worry about his fidelity. Let us pray.

  15. Relli says:

    my reaction was to that banner picture was exactly the same as Eve’s and Quest’s

    BWH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA…….. omg she should have practiced her crying face in front of the mirror before going on TV. Love the pics you pick CB.

  16. Katie says:


  17. AquaticMusings says:

    The whole thing is just beyond pervasive and creepy. Who are these women? Do they not have families? I am definitely no prude, but how can you live this lifestyle and even look your family and friends in the eyes?

    Holly is better off. I think she just had to get out of the entire situation to realize just how wrong and gross it truly is.

    It’s true that after a while of anything, no matter how bad, wrong, etc, it becomes very normal.

  18. nikki says:

    @the original bellaluna: hahaha well said.
    I love gene simmons family but ya the wife has had a bit too much botox in my opinion

  19. Melinda says:

    Um, she suddenly realized this lifestyle wasn’t for her? She just realized it?! This deserves a gigantic, bitch please! She started dating Hef as 1 of 3! And this came right after his last 3 girl friends left!

    That picture of her crying in the header is excellent.

  20. Kimbob says:

    AquaticMusings & Hautie….yeah, I’m in complete agreement w/you two. Every dog has his day, & the chickens have come home to roost at the Playboy mansion’s doorsteps…finally. Hef is an old geezer & yes, he’s seriously deluded. He was WAY OVERDUE to have his filthy ass handed to him on a platter.

    Also, there’s no sympathy on my part for “poor, innocent Crystal.” She’s a user…we all know that. That headline pic of her “attempting” to cry is priceless….definitely botoxy. Now I think I need to take a bath after dipping myself into this cesspool affair of theirs….yuck!

  21. Madisyn says:

    I’m laughing not because she said she was not the only woman in his life but because I believe she WOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONLY WOMAN IN HIS LIFE!

    Come on people, this man is 85 years old. How many times is he actually getting it up and getting off. I believe he’s keeping up an image and only an image. Not to mention she was supposedly cheating on him, she left that little tidbid out.

    I’ve read the CB stories about the former playmates who used to rotate on top of Hef but the book was written, what several years or maybe even a decade ago? Even Kendra mentioned something similar but again that was 8 years ago. I don’t believe he’s STILL doing those things. I just don’t.

  22. Rio says:

    Yeesh, she looks like the bastard lovechild of Chelsea Handler and LeAnne Rimes in that top pic. I’ve seen Stretch Armstrong dolls with more realistic skin.

  23. June says:

    man- if I didnt have family and friends…I’d be the best slut ever!

  24. teehee says:

    But I guess she is getting a large portion of the profits generated for his magazine by pulling this nonsense and getting attention for his mag.

  25. brin says:

    This is so unbelievably funny and it keeps getting more absurd (love that picture).

  26. Jenn says:

    They are both nuts. Now Hef has slapped a “runaway bride” sticker on her picture on the cover of Playboy. And she does look like Rimes and Handler, which is a scary, scary thought.

  27. anoneemouse says:

    Did she ever think she WAS the only woman? What a whack job.

  28. the original bellaluna says:

    @ nikki – Is that really what it is? Botox overload? My goodness! Hubs & I were flipping through the channels yesterday, and the mom was talking about how she taught the kids when to call 911. The older son said “Yeah, and it came in handy when Sophie set the sink on fire. She poured nail polish remover down it and said ‘You know what this needs? A match!’” We laughed until we were in tears.

  29. OriginalGracie says:

    I think this chick went to the Gretchen Rossi School of Famewhoring.

  30. Swanniehakka says:

    OK, time to stop pretending that “Hef” is actually having sex with these hired women. She simply found a bigger, better deal & she took it.

  31. skinanny says:

    Really…these old guys need to stand on their wallets, do they really think that a young woman would even look at them if it weren’t for the $$$$$….The thought of him in his big round bed with all these young women around him, and “where is my viagra?”

  32. Kim says:

    Shes full of it and her 15 mins are up. We ALL know he has multiple women in the house. She lived with him for years _ HELLO she was aware of this. She plotted the whole thing as a farce to get publicity and money and she got caught. Holly was right about her all along. Hef should have married Holly. I think stabbing Hef in back you have ended your career. He has connections. More than Dr Phils son.

  33. Madisyn says:

    Mornin @ brin, @ bellaluna

    @ bellaluna, replied to your last post. . .you know where. Have to be careful because @ brin and @ Rita did threaten that intervention. LOL

  34. vanessa says:

    to OG Bellaluna – Both Shannon & Gene had facelifts a season or two ago. Hence, why Shannon’s face doesn’t move.

    I actually enjoy that show!

  35. brin says:

    Hi Madisyn! I won’t say a word about your sideline!

  36. the original bellaluna says:

    mornin @ Madisyn & brin! (I’ll check it out) And we both know we’re FINE. We just want to WORK. We don’t have a problem! LOL ;) EDIT: I went there. We agree. What day does the 4th of July fall on, do you know? Because I’m thinking that weekend may be the other half of my double down…

    @ vanessa – Thank you. It was an honest question, not meant to be facetious. :)

  37. Incredulous says:

    HAHAHAHAHA, she looks like Cersei Lannister in the first photo.

  38. girlindisguise says:

    Her crocodile tears are as fake as hell. Give it rest lady. Your fifteen minutes have come and gone. Time to go diddle Dr. Phil’s son and try to get some money out of him.

  39. Alice says:

    Not the only woman in his life? Uh, duh?

  40. Madisyn says:

    @ bellaluna, I’ll post over there, as this not the post for it.

    @ brin, thanks for not ratting us out but @ Rita has already read the comments and posted on the Suri/tree house post and SHE KNOWS!

  41. Ms. Candy says:

    Interesting how now they are not getting married didn’t one of Hef’s other women said that this marriage wasn’t going to take place….

  42. mzjask says:

    tryin to look all devastated with not a hair out of place! bwaha, what a phony

  43. your momma says:

    no you’re not AquaticMusings i totally agree with you!

  44. kitty says:

    Her tears are tears of joy. She should have a huge party to celebrate her release from that hellhole lifestyle she was living. I hope Dr. Phil becomes her father-in-law. She is in desperate need of counseling.

  45. rissa says:

    not to be mean but how funny would it be if hef died in two weeks

  46. aloe juice says:

    how horrible would it be if now was the time that Hef croaked?

  47. aloe juice says:

    sorry Rissa, just saw your comment. yeah nice to know I’m not the only one with a wonderfully twisted mind

  48. Nibbi says:

    wow, that is the fakest, cheesiest, lamest, most bs “interview” ever. the “reporter” guy is actually a worse actor than she is, tho perhaps just as pretty.

  49. Nibbi says:

    i can’t even believe we’re all watching such outright obviously staged crap like this and commenting on it! i hate myself now!
    i need to go read a book now, c ya guys.

  50. Thea says:

    Hef needs to marry Holly really. And this woman needs to lay off the botox till she gets some feeling back in her face and body.

  51. Lady Satan says:

    Stupid, stupid girl. Had she stuck to her original story she might have come out of this looking … well, like a fame-whore but with a shred of dignity intact. Now? She is imploding before she even reaches her fame-whore pinnacle.

    I predict a future in porn starting in less than six months.

  52. Carolyn says:

    Playboy and what it represents passed its use-by date a long time ago. They have to resort to PR rubbish such as this to try and make themselves interesting. This marriage was never going to happen – she and Dr Phil’s son have been on for a looong time (remember reading about it months ago). Whoever is running Playboy must be scratching their heads as to what to do next to keep the public and media interested. What am I thinking? They’ll just get another identikit bunny to get engaged to Hefner. Ted Casablanca thinks he’s gay anyway. What a charade this “glamorous” Playboy lifestyle is.

  53. Carolyn says:

    PS I never understood the creepy appeal of Hefner. He’ll never be on the HDF list!

  54. fizXgirl314 says:

    why does everyone say Holly and Hefner need to get married? She’s just another blonde bimbo… I mean, ewww… how is that any different from any of his other fake relationships with fake blondes? Holly seems like a relatively sweet person… why wish an 85 year old haggard piece of jerky on her?

  55. REALIST says:

    Lee Ann Rimes in 20 years?

  56. meme says:

    man- if I didnt have family and friends…I’d be the best slut ever!



  57. bluhare says:

    What got me was the story making the rounds about ditching him at the altar for $500K. If it’s true, it’s horrible.

  58. Ruby says:

    Her facial expression is the same one my 5 month old daughter pulls when she is doing a poop!
    Sorry I know it’s gross but it made me laugh.

  59. Bill Hicks is God says:

    In other news of the plastic surgery afflicted, rumour is Shannon Tweed is leaving Genie. I think it’s a troll for ratings on the upcoming season that’s already been shot but who can say.

    This hose is trying to sing the same refrain about the “not knowing” but at least Shannon knew and said she’s fed up to the teeth and therein lies the difference.

    I hope if true, Shannon takes Simmons to the cleaners but as I understand it, they have a contract. Regardless, I think they were both outstanding parents whereas I doubt Hefner can say the same.

  60. munchies says:

    what the heck is in that scalp?

  61. Bill Hicks is God says:

    Sorry, a “cohabitation agreement.”

  62. Mrs. Odie 2 says:

    Playa got played! Take that, Hef, senile pervert. Well played Crystal.

  63. Lou says:

    Oh come on, be fair. Another 10-15 years with the keeper of the crypt? Who in the world in their prime would want to do *that?* (Shudder, shudder.) I can’t even say that getting millions would be worth that revolting act.

  64. Mouse says:

    #10 AquaticMusings – Nope, I agree 110%. She’s still a bimbo though, don’t feel sorry for her at all either.

  65. Kosmos says:

    Oh GAWD…the whole thing is disgusting, gag gag, and a total media joke from beginning to end.

  66. suggabugga says:

    so sad that a picture of somebody “crying” could make me laugh so hard. also soo sad, seeing a picture
    of grandpa Hef with his mouth open and getting a whiff of slightly warmed over death. seriously, not for all the money in the world could you get me to stick my tonguein there or just imagine what the lower hald must smell and look like. ewwww! okay, I’ll stop now. sorry. my mind ggoes wonderous places sometimes.

  67. Amanda G says:

    Meh, I still think if she were a true gold digger then she would have married him. He would have given her her own show, more playboy spreads, etc. She would have benefited more being his wife than not.

    But in the end, the girl is dumber than a box of rocks. Marrying someone who should be her grandpa, being surprised that there were always woman around, etc. Stupid bimbo.

  68. jayvee says:

    she is looking for sympathy the wrong way

  69. Steffie says:

    the joke of the year :D

  70. crab says:

    When I first saw the header picture I thought she was Leanne Rimes!

  71. Fuzzy Cat says:

    Too bad the kids broke up; I was looking forward to the wedding photos.

  72. Hakura says:

    @AquaticMusings“Am I the only one who doesn’t feel sorry for Hef? The ultimate player got ultimately played and beat at his own game! Hilarious!”

    Maybe I’m a cynic, but I really don’t think anyone was played in this scenario. I don’t know how much of this was really ever supposed to move forward, from either side. She’s obviously full of it, & Hef’s experiences with marriage haven’t given him much inventive to try it again (not when he can get whatever he wants from a harem, at any time).

  73. DorothyZbornak says:

    She suffers from the same “rode hard and put up wet” syndrome that plagues Kim Zolciak.

  74. Ket says:

    Oh c’mon, ya’ll. Although I don’t agree with everything “Hef” has done with his empire, he’s obviously highly intelligent and a man who was way ahead of his time. Sadly, time has begun to catch up with even him. Maybe he wanted that connection before he died the same way anyone else would. I like what he did in the earlier days of Playboy (Marilyn was the first cover – AMAZING!) and it’s always been a thinking person’s magazine. Very well written and great interviews. It does give women an unrealistic self-body image, but it also shows amazing beauty in many of the “REAL” women. Hef got a lemon. Plain and simple. It’s the company he keeps and obviously “gentlemen prefer blondes”, especially gentlemen from his era. I think he’s made a lot of people very happy with his rag and allowing cameras in – staged or no. He should be allowed some REAL happiness toward the end of it all, though. He’s worked HARD and if he wants some plastic bimbo to adore and treat him well, I hope he gets her.


    Sorry Crystal your Oscar is not in the mail….